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  #81   Report Post  
Unisaw A100
 
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Default HUMOR: Getting even at Home Depot

Silvan wrote:
So I should become some poor chick's sex slave? If I were going to do that,
I might as well just stay with SWMBO.


A'yup. There's an up side to this also. You get to keep
both halves of the house, the cars, the tools...

UA100, who occasionally introduces his wife as, "this is my
first wife"...
  #82   Report Post  
Charlie Self
 
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Robert Bonomi responds:

And, just to confuse the issue, there are things that used to be acronyms
that are _not_ one any more. The best known one is "IBM" -- which *used*
to be an acronym derived from 'International Business Machines Corporation".
But, they officially changed their name to "The IBM Corporation", roughly
30 years ago, and the letters *don't* stand for anything today. grin


You mean like Esso...Eastern Standard Oil. Whoops. They changed that to Exxon
and then merged with Mobil. Damned if I know what it's called now. Gas fed
octopus?

Charlie Self

"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without
integrity is dangerous and dreadful."
Samuel Johnson













  #84   Report Post  
B a r r y B u r k e J r .
 
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On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 03:46:15 GMT, Mark & Juanita
wrote:


Umm, sometimes sarcasm doesn't carry in the printed medium very well.


Especially when a common belief is being repeated.

Barry
  #86   Report Post  
Doug Miller
 
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In article , "Ron Magen" wrote:
It reminds me of the Jeff Foxworthy {of, 'You might be a Redneck if . . .'
fame}intro to a bit . . ."They wouldn't tell you not to do this, if someone
hadn't already tried it !!"

Q: What are a redneck's last words?
A: "Hey, y'all, watch this!"

--
Regards,
Doug Miller (alphageek-at-milmac-dot-com)
  #87   Report Post  
Tim Douglass
 
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On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 10:45:47 GMT, B a r r y B u r k e J r .
wrote:

On 16 Sep 2003 00:34:24 GMT, otforme (Charlie Self)
wrote:


Yeah, but the same story, or onevery similar to it, has been making the rounds
for something over 15 years.


I know, and it doesn't sound real.

However, this was told directly to me, representing the New England
Mountain Bike Association (NEMBA) and the local bicycling community,
by a high ranking meeting facilitator of the National Parks Service
Rivers and Trails Program, at a meeting held at the Connecticut Forest
and Parks Association (CFPA) headquarters, located in Middlefield, CT,
in spring of 2002.

The subject came up during a discussion about threats to open spaces
via development and urban sprawl. It comes down to the right lawsuit,
which will probably eventually happen.

There's no email, there's no cousin, and there's no friend involved.
G


Many national parks have part of their trail systems paved and
rendered at least mostly "accessible". There is considerable pressure
on most park agencies (city, state, national) to make a substantial
part of the hiking trails accessible. What kills me is that the same
people who are pushing for paved trails in the park are pushing to
remove roads and in some cases completely ban human access in
wilderness areas. They must get into some pretty heavy arguments with
themselves at times!

Tim Douglass

http://www.DouglassClan.com
  #89   Report Post  
Alan McClure
 
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Robert Bonomi wrote:

In article m,
Mark & Juanita wrote:


In article ,
says...
Alan McClure responds:


LEO is a TLA for Law Enforcement Officer.

TLA is a three letter acronym for Three Letter Acronym.

Just like abbrev. is the abbreviation of abbreviation.

Not quite. Acronyms are abbreviations of abbreviations.


I thought the definition of an acronym is an abbreviation that can be
pronounced as a word (e.g. FID: acronym for File ID) while an
abbreviation is a shortened form of a word or phrase that is not
necessarily pronounceable (e.g. TLA: Three letter acronym).


Wrong. An acronym is, by definition:

A word formed from the initial letters of a name, such as WAC
for Women's Army Corps, or by combining initial letters or
parts of a series of words, such as radar for radio detecting
and ranging.

An acronym is a contraction of a _phrase_, into a single word.
It does -not- have to be pronounceable. "RSVP" anybody?

An abbreviation is a shortened form of a single word. Sometimes as short
as a single letter. e.g. 'v' for 'versus' in legal filings. In 'proper'
English, an abbreviation is punctuated with a trailing period.

And, just to confuse the issue, there are things that used to be acronyms
that are _not_ one any more. The best known one is "IBM" -- which *used*
to be an acronym derived from 'International Business Machines Corporation".
But, they officially changed their name to "The IBM Corporation", roughly
30 years ago, and the letters *don't* stand for anything today. grin


TLA is pronounceable, it just has three syllables. ;-)

OBTW - XTLA is an eXtended Three Letter Acronym of eXtended Three
Letter Acronym and of course is self defining.

ARM (an acronym and my initials) I dated a girl in high school whose initials
were LEG ;-)

  #91   Report Post  
Charlie Self
 
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Tim Douglass writes:

Many national parks have part of their trail systems paved and
rendered at least mostly "accessible". There is considerable pressure
on most park agencies (city, state, national) to make a substantial
part of the hiking trails accessible. What kills me is that the same
people who are pushing for paved trails in the park are pushing to
remove roads and in some cases completely ban human access in
wilderness areas. They must get into some pretty heavy arguments with
themselves at times!


Yeah, butit's understandable. When I was younger, I didn't have time, or the
inclination, to travel those paths, unpaved or otherwise. Today, I don't have
time but am willing to make time to do such things. But my knees are so bad,
it's impossible unless paths are paved. Thing is, it seems incredibly selfish
of me to want these set up so I can get there now (when I could just as readily
have gone earlier) and ruin the sense of isolation for many others.

I figure it will all be screwed up eventually, but I don't have to participate,
therefore it may last until after I have any chance of knowing about it.

Charlie Self

"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without
integrity is dangerous and dreadful."
Samuel Johnson













  #93   Report Post  
Edwin Pawlowski
 
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"Larry Bud" wrote in message
The real question is why would someone who has those ailments be going
to a Home Improvement store in the first place? Sorry, but if you
can't get to the front door of the store, how the hell are you going
to find the merchandise, load it up in your car, unload it when you
get home, and do the work?


Your shortsightedness is blinding.

Both the examples I listed are real life. They live(d) in my house. So,
you are telling me that my wife cannot go to the store to choose carpeting,
or tile, or paint because she has congestive heart failure? She does not
have handicapped placard, but cannot spend much time out under the
conditions I mentioned. But she is still very much alive and has a lot of
interest in the condition of our home. Our house and the store is
air-conditioned so walking in those environments is easy. High humidity is
difficult walking, even say, to go about halfway across the parking lot.

My MIL had lung cancer and carried oxygen. She enjoyed getting out also and
perusing some of the merchandise. She had her own room and could pick out
things she wanted. Unless, of course, you blocked the door to the store.

You really should get your head out of your ass and see what goes on in the
community around you. See just how productive seniors and people with
illnesses can be. I agree that the ADA goes too far in some places, but it
exists because people like you exist.

Best wishes and good health to you and your family.
Ed


  #94   Report Post  
Charlie Self
 
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Larry Bud writes:

OK, it is 5 degrees and the wind is blowing at 20 mph and you have to carry
an O2 bottle. How far can you walk across the parking lot to get to the
store door? Even if you don't carry the oxygen, it can be a problem
breathing. So can 95 degrees and 99% humidity.

How about heart problems? Either of the above causes major stress. My

wife
has CHF. Most day I park as far from the door as I can because excercise

is
good for her condition. In the weather conditions I mentioned though, I
drop her at the door because she could not make the walk without serious
consequences.


The real question is why would someone who has those ailments be going
to a Home Improvement store in the first place? Sorry, but if you
can't get to the front door of the store, how the hell are you going
to find the merchandise, load it up in your car, unload it when you
get home, and do the work?


So if you have ailments as above, you should curl up and stay in the corner so
you don't bother anyone else?

Charlie Self

"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without
integrity is dangerous and dreadful."
Samuel Johnson













  #95   Report Post  
Kevin Craig
 
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In article , Unisaw A100
wrote:

UA100, who occasionally introduces his wife as, "this is my
first wife"...


Hmmmmm.

I might begin introducing Mrs. Craig as "this is my last wife".

Before we married, she informed me that if I ever divorced her, I
better like the idea of living with my ex, because she wasn't going
anywhere. ;-)

Kevin


  #97   Report Post  
Kevin Craig
 
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In article , B a r r y B u
r k e J r . wrote:

On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 02:38:40 GMT, Kevin Craig
wrote:


I've never seen an ATM that came with Braille keys or instructions.
But when ADA came into being, every ATM in town suddenly had a little
Braille pad installed to the side of the keypad, presumably a guide to
the keys.


It's cheaper to make one keypad to fit all of a manufacturer's ATMs.


Of course.

But I was speaking of the *bank* affixing (at customer expense) Braille
add-ons to their drive-up ATMs when ADA went into effect.


All the keys of course, produce non-Braille results on the computer
screen, requiring the user to follow VISUAL instructions.


Many walk up units can talk.


I don't doubt that. I've never seen one, but every ATM in town has
Braille. Perhaps private ATMs in convenience stores have voice
instructions, but I don't use them (convenience charges, yanno). And
that begs the question: if Braille users can't use drive-up ATMs for
obvious reasons, then how the heck can they *find* walk-up ATMs?

I am *not* insensitive to the vision-impaired. I understand that not
everyone who reads Braille lives in total darkness. I understand that
legal and/or effective blindess is not the same as total blindness.

I also work in a prison, and I've seen the absurdity of ADA in action.
We have second floor housing units, totally inacessible by wheelchair
(stairs only, no elevators). Yet, to comply with ADA, *every* drinking
fountain on the second floor was replaced with a wheelchair-accessible
version. *Every* second-floor housing unit had wheelchair-accessible
showers and toilets installed, at great expense to the taxpayers.

The ADA does *not* require such extreme measures. Store owners can
comply by putting up "honk for curb service" signs. But, there is an
entire sub-branch of the lawyer world making a living by suing
businesses for ADA compliance, even if there is no true plaintiff.

Kevin
  #98   Report Post  
Edwin Pawlowski
 
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"Kevin Craig" wrote in message

And
that begs the question: if Braille users can't use drive-up ATMs for
obvious reasons, then how the heck can they *find* walk-up ATMs?

I am *not* insensitive to the vision-impaired. I understand that not
everyone who reads Braille lives in total darkness. I understand that
legal and/or effective blindess is not the same as total blindness.


You answered the question. Blind people get around very well, even the ones
in total darkness. If for some reason they can't get to it on their own,
they can be assisted by another. Once at the ATM, they can transact their
business themselves in privacy, same as we all do.

Blind people travel the city on public transportation every day. They can
hold responsible jobs and get to the bathroom and lunch room or the nearby
deli.

When I was in high school I used to deliver groceries after school. One
customer was a blind couple. When I delivered, the canned good had to be put
away in certain places so they could tell the peas from the corn. They even
turned the light on for me so I could do it. They could count out paper
money with no mixups. And I got a 50¢ tip, good money back in '63
Ed

http://pages.cthome.net/edhome



  #100   Report Post  
Sweet Sawdust
 
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Default HUMOR: Getting even at Home Depot

Go to yard sale pick up analog cell phone, charge batteries or hook into
power supply, make call to 911( the only call an analog cell phone can make
now days with out a service plan) call is untraceable, they can locate you
to within a tower range but no closer. Don't try to get a service plan for
the analog, you will only get laughed at.

via cell phone to boot. Nobody would be able to trace that call ...

Not any more. Most cell phones are fully traceable nowadays. Some
even provide a GPS location of the caller.


Barry

Umm, sometimes sarcasm doesn't carry in the printed medium very well.
I am very aware that cell phones are the easiest thing to trace. As a
matter of fact, if you have a cell phone turned on (you don't even need
to be talking), it is possible for people to locate your position to a
pretty high degree of accuracy.





  #101   Report Post  
Sweet Sawdust
 
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Have a friend who is blind. She gets someone to drive her to the bank and
then uses the drive up ATM to take care of her banking. She often can't do
it during regular banking hours, she has a part time job reading to the
blind.(I kid you not)
I also think its a waste of money to put a Braille alphabet at
drive-up windows at the bank. But, hey...that's just me.


Hope ya'll have a nice week...

Trent


Proud member of the Roy Rogers fan club!



  #103   Report Post  
Young Carpenter
 
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Default HUMOR: Getting even at Home Depot


That goes without saying about the design of the parking lot.
Many Many of the larger churches I have visited (usually the smaller
churches lots are negligible) most of the spaces run parallel to the
building and entrance and not perpendicular like at a store.
--
Young Carpenter

"Violin playing and Woodworking are similar, it takes plenty of money,
plenty of practice, and you usually make way more noise than intended"

"Mark & Juanita" wrote in message

Nope, In our case it was the fact that 50% of a $10,000 parking lot
expansion was used by spaces that would *never* get used. Doesn't seem
like a good use of peoples' offerings, does it?







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  #104   Report Post  
Young Carpenter
 
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Default HUMOR: Getting even at Home Depot

For the most part it is not untraceable because it is analog but because it
is old technology without traceablility built in.

--
Young Carpenter

"Violin playing and Woodworking are similar, it takes plenty of money,
plenty of practice, and you usually make way more noise than intended"

"Sweet Sawdust" wrote in message
...
Go to yard sale pick up analog cell phone, charge batteries or hook into
power supply, make call to 911( the only call an analog cell phone can

make
now days with out a service plan) call is untraceable, they can locate you
to within a tower range but no closer. Don't try to get a service plan

for
the analog, you will only get laughed at.

via cell phone to boot. Nobody would be able to trace that call

....
Not any more. Most cell phones are fully traceable nowadays. Some
even provide a GPS location of the caller.


Barry

Umm, sometimes sarcasm doesn't carry in the printed medium very well.
I am very aware that cell phones are the easiest thing to trace. As a
matter of fact, if you have a cell phone turned on (you don't even need
to be talking), it is possible for people to locate your position to a
pretty high degree of accuracy.







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  #105   Report Post  
Young Carpenter
 
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Default HUMOR: Getting even at Home Depot

Ever find the website where the guy responded as an biologist in some remote
area of the north sea? after several months of fooling around, the subject
headings started to come back as insults about his mothers integrity.
--
Young Carpenter

"Violin playing and Woodworking are similar, it takes plenty of money,
plenty of practice, and you usually make way more noise than intended"

"Charlie Spitzer" wrote in message
...

"Luigi Zanasi" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 23:35:19 -0400 (EDT),
(Jack-of-all-trades - JOAT) scribbled

Sun, Sep 14, 2003, 2:25pm (EDT+4)
(Edwin Pawlowski)
claims:
W-w-w-what d-d-d-do you mean scam? I just had contact with the
daughter of the king snip

LOL Usually I just discard those e-mails, but every once in

awhile
I respond. I tell them I will need a $25,000 non-returnable advance,
and I will see what I can do. Cash, mind you. And, they have actually
gotten back to me several times, even willing to have me contact them

on
their dime. LOL I really should take them up on that some time, I
could probably talk them out of the cash. Or at least give them one
Hell of a phone bill, those international calls aren't cheap, and I
would make sure to stay on the line for a long, long time. Don't 'cha
just love helping other people? LMAO


Here's someone who actually got money out of them:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/archive/31270.html

Luigi
Replace "no" with "yk" twice
in reply address for real email address


see http://www.scamorama.com/ for LOTS of stories about this






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  #106   Report Post  
Young Carpenter
 
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Default HUMOR: Getting even at Home Depot

Hey, they do their work in the donut shops too.
like the guy caught robbing the Dunkin' Donut shop in Chicago.....(half the
customers wore guns, or something like that)

--
Young Carpenter

"Violin playing and Woodworking are similar, it takes plenty of money,
plenty of practice, and you usually make way more noise than intended"

"Larry Jaques" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 11:16:29 GMT, B a r r y B u r k e J r .
pixelated:

On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 10:24:58 GMT, Unisaw A100
wrote:

I love the smell of urban legends in the morning.

UA100



I love how someone thinks filing a false police report would be fun.
At least it's probably not true. G


Hey, it could save a life. Keeping one cop out of the donut
shop for an hour could make all the difference in the world.


---
-If thy poster offends thee, *PLONK* it out.-
http://diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development





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  #109   Report Post  
B a r r y B u r k e J r .
 
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On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 08:17:08 -0500, "Sweet Sawdust"
wrote:

Go to yard sale pick up analog cell phone, charge batteries or hook into
power supply, make call to 911


If you happen to be in an area that still actually has analog service.

In my area, I swear there's probably one analog channel in each site.

Barry
  #111   Report Post  
Michael Daly
 
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On 17-Sep-2003, cdg wrote:

In article ,
says...
He's really one hellova guy. He's not handicapped at all...just
physically challenged. I kid him whenever I get the chance about
getting off his dead ass and doin' some work! And he jumps right
back at me...no respect for the customer at all. He'll show ya where
the part is you need...and sometimes he'll point to it for you with a
laser beam. But you get the part YOURSELF...or you walk out without
it!


Hey! You just reminded me that there is a guy that works at our local
Lowe's that is in a wheel chair AND works in the plumbing department.
Weird coincidence. He knows his stuff too. I can go there with just a
vague idea of what I need, and he will zoom off in his chair and find
exactly what I need, no hesitation at all. Great guy. I forget he's in a
wheelchair sometimes.


When in my local Borg yesterday, I saw a salesguy with an odd way of walking.
I listened to him explaining things to a customer and figured he quite possibly
used to be a construction worker. I'd hazard a WAG that his walking style
may have been the result of a workplace injury.

Why wouldn't these stores snap up ex-construction/plumber/whatever workers
who are knowledgable in their fields and who have suffered an accident rendering
them incapable of continuing in their old job? It's a win-win - Borg gets experience
and knowledge at a lower price than competing with the construction industry
directly and a disabled employee gets a job where they can use their expertise.

Mike
  #112   Report Post  
Sweet Sawdust
 
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and it will remain so that ANY cell phone can be used to call 911. some
sort of FCC rule.
"B a r r y B u r k e J r ." wrote
in message ...
On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 08:17:08 -0500, "Sweet Sawdust"
wrote:

Go to yard sale pick up analog cell phone, charge batteries or hook into
power supply, make call to 911


If you happen to be in an area that still actually has analog service.

In my area, I swear there's probably one analog channel in each site.

Barry



  #113   Report Post  
Bay Area Dave
 
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please cite your source of this information. thanks!

dave

Mark & Juanita wrote:
snip As a
matter of fact, if you have a cell phone turned on (you don't even need
to be talking), it is possible for people to locate your position to a
pretty high degree of accuracy.


  #115   Report Post  
Fred the Red Shirt
 
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Kevin Craig wrote in message ...

I also work in a prison, and I've seen the absurdity of ADA in action.
We have second floor housing units, totally inacessible by wheelchair
(stairs only, no elevators). Yet, to comply with ADA, *every* drinking
fountain on the second floor was replaced with a wheelchair-accessible
version. *Every* second-floor housing unit had wheelchair-accessible
showers and toilets installed, at great expense to the taxpayers.


This is astonishing given the lawsuit I read bout not too long ago.
A legless inmate who was literally crawling around the prison on
bloody stumps was suing to try to force the prison to obey the
court order from a previous lawsuit and allow him to use a wheel-
chair or prosthetic limbs (which might have been made from wood.)

The wardon had refused to obey the court order arguing that the
wheelchair or limbs might be used to hide contraband.

It seemed to me that there was at least one warden on the wrong side
of the bars.

--

FF


  #116   Report Post  
Nova
 
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Fred the Red Shirt wrote:

This is astonishing given the lawsuit I read bout not too long ago.
A legless inmate who was literally crawling around the prison on
bloody stumps was suing to try to force the prison to obey the
court order from a previous lawsuit and allow him to use a wheel-
chair or prosthetic limbs (which might have been made from wood.)

The wardon had refused to obey the court order arguing that the
wheelchair or limbs might be used to hide contraband.

It seemed to me that there was at least one warden on the wrong side
of the bars.


The inmate's going to loose this case. He doesn't have a leg to stand on.

--
Jack Novak
Buffalo, NY - USA


  #117   Report Post  
Phil
 
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Dave,

The cell that you are currently operating in has the ability to record
your presence in that area along with the date and time. Older and
rural cells (macro cells) are typically several miles in diameter. If
you are in a metropolitan are that utilizes microcells the diameter of
these cells can be between 300 and 1000 meters.

If you don't want you travels to be known turn off your cell phone.

We had a Baptist minister in Dallas a number of years ago who was
indicted and ultimately convicted of attempting to kill his wife in
large measure because his travels were documented through his cell phone
record trail.

http://www.lubbockonline.com/news/042197/railey.htm

Phil

Bay Area Dave wrote:
please cite your source of this information. thanks!

dave

Mark & Juanita wrote:
snip As a

matter of fact, if you have a cell phone turned on (you don't even
need to be talking), it is possible for people to locate your position
to a pretty high degree of accuracy.




  #120   Report Post  
Young Carpenter
 
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The thing is you almost can't blame the warden. (if he is only being
fearful and not insensitive).
One of the Max. prisons near me gets Locked down almost once a month because
some idiot inmate has found out another way to make a weapon from his
cloths, diner, or jail house furniture.

--
Young Carpenter

"Violin playing and Woodworking are similar, it takes plenty of money,
plenty of practice, and you usually make way more noise than intended"

"Fred the Red Shirt" wrote in message
om...
Kevin Craig wrote in message

...

I also work in a prison, and I've seen the absurdity of ADA in action.
We have second floor housing units, totally inacessible by wheelchair
(stairs only, no elevators). Yet, to comply with ADA, *every* drinking
fountain on the second floor was replaced with a wheelchair-accessible
version. *Every* second-floor housing unit had wheelchair-accessible
showers and toilets installed, at great expense to the taxpayers.


This is astonishing given the lawsuit I read bout not too long ago.
A legless inmate who was literally crawling around the prison on
bloody stumps was suing to try to force the prison to obey the
court order from a previous lawsuit and allow him to use a wheel-
chair or prosthetic limbs (which might have been made from wood.)

The wardon had refused to obey the court order arguing that the
wheelchair or limbs might be used to hide contraband.

It seemed to me that there was at least one warden on the wrong side
of the bars.

--

FF





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