A friend of mine (whose dad is a retired CHP officer) sent this to me. This
story is from her dad:

'OK -so I am pulling into the Home Depot parking lot today to get a garage
door opener with my kayak on my truck and some asshole construction worker
who was most likely drunk or on speed blows around me in his modified F350
and almost runs over a woman and her two small kids. The jerk yells at her
to get the f*@k out of his way as he lights up his tires. (Where's a cop
when you need one) As I find a parking space and get out of my truck I see
the same asshole parked in the handicap parking and takes up two spaces. (NO
PLACARD)! As I walk by asshole has the nerve to say Hey "Kayaks are for
fags. Get a life and get a boat"!
I just smile. I let the jackass go into the store and when he does I ran
back to my truck and get my club steering wheel lock cause the sucker left
his window open. Yes - I reached in and clubed his steering wheel. Blamo
he's not going anywhere! Yup he's screwed! Next I got my cell phone and
called the police and tell them I see a man trying to steel a BBQ from Home
Depot gave details of the man and truck. Shorty after two police cars pull
up and the man is now at his truck going fu@*ng crazy cause he can't move...

Guess what - HE GOT A PARKING TICKET FOR PARKING IN HANDICAP PARKING AND HE
HAD TO PAY THE TOW TRUCK TO REMOVE MY CLUB! He almost went to jail for being
out of control. I'm still laughing out loud! Ooops, I forgot to give him the
key to unlock his new club?
I had to sit back and watch all the excitement with a huge smile...
PRICELESS!!!"

I love the smell of urban legends in the morning.

UA100

Barry Burke responds:

On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 10:24:58 GMT, Unisaw A100
wrote:

I love the smell of urban legends in the morning.

UA100


I love how someone thinks filing a false police report would be fun.
At least it's probably not true. G

And add in the cost of Club...I haven't looked at one in a decade or more, but
I'd bet you're tossing 70 bucks into the wind to get even with a jerk. Add that
to filing a false police report.

Charlie Self

"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without
integrity is dangerous and dreadful."
Samuel Johnson

Mike Z, where did you learn to read?

Mike D. clearly indicated that "A friend of mine (whose dad is a retired
CHP officer) sent this to me.
This story is from her dad: ;~)

Unisaw A100 wrote:

amongst all of those dimes... I could drop the whole
Nigerian money scam and retire to leisure...

How's that scam working for you? Me, I've been trying for years to become
some rich chick's sex slave. No takers.

--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
Confirmed post number: 17727 Approximate word count: 531810
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/

Barry,
In that 'Perfect World' you're 100% right . . . However . . .

I have seen people pull into Handicap parking slots . . . usually driving
some kind of 'Humongomobile' and get disgusted by it. After a while,
{sometimes I'm a 'slow learner'} I stopped 'turning them in'. The
establishment owners typically don't care - often the spaces are only there
because the 'law' says they HAVE to be there.

The local 'Law' don't care - it's either not worth their effort, or you
disturbed their coffee break {ever see a Patrol Car cruising a parking lot
and driving right by them ??}. Once I even got chewed out for flagging one
down and pointing out the violation.

As far as taking pictures {digital or otherwise, showing license plate,
etc.}? . . . "Hey, pal - I/we didn't see it so there is nothing we {the Law}
can do". This is the same answer I got when I tried to report that someone
had sideswiped my car {I had the plate #}. The basic answer - "If we don't
see it happen. . it didn't happen".

Regards,
Ron Magen
Backyard Boatshop

"B a r r y B u r k e J r ." wrote
SNIP
Instead of acting like a complete ass and filing a false report, which
makes you no better than the mark, why not simply turn him in for
parking in the handicapped spot?
SNIP
I'd walk on by, as I believe in Karma...

Barry

Silvan wrote:
Me, I've been trying for years to become
some rich chick's sex slave. No takers.

That's your trouble. Your looking to start at the top.

UA100

In article ,
Unisaw A100 wrote:

Smell test conclusion: Hoax

I have a hard time believing all that lumber could be held up in the
stack at that angle by that string. Sure looks flimsy to me.

--
Owen Lowe and his Fly-by-Night Copper Company
Offering a shim for the Porter-Cable 557 type 2 fence design.
http://www.flybynightcoppercompany.com
http://www.easystreet.com/~onlnlowe/index.html

On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 03:27:07 GMT, "Mike Dembroge"
wrote:

A friend of mine (whose dad is a retired CHP officer) sent this to me. This
story is from her dad:

SNIP

The only thing I ever knew of that actually worked, after Kalifornia
cops gave up ticketing bozos who parked in handicapped spaces, was the
tool my paternal grandmother had me make.

She was handicapped, badly. Had trouble operating the _diagonal wire
cutters_ she carried in her car.

I had some long extensions welded on the handles, and that made it a
lot easire for her to snip off tire stems.

No one ever gave her any grief, and the various cops had no choice but
ticket the offender because the vehicle was still in the handicapped
slot when they finally showed up.

Couple of hardheads though they'd beat granny up over some $2.00 tire
stems, but a snootful of Mace changed their minds.

Granny was a mean ol' bitch.
Cheers,
Fred McClellan
the dash plumber at mindspring dot com

Mark (just Mark) wrote:
So they managed to move the car a couple feet in between
when the two pictures were taken (by different people with
different cameras).

Move the car? Ummm, Mark, I can call you Mark, can I?,
Tell me something Mark. Do you reeeeeeeeealy believe what
you just said?

So what? (It actually appears in the second picture that the LEO
may be trying to direct the driver to do something).

According to the text, the driver was off running up and
down the highway so I'm not sure whazup with this theory.

By the way, I'm initialization impaired. What's a LEO? I
suspect it has some meaning to cop groupies but I'm not sure
what not being a cop groupie and all.

Not germane to Snopes' story. Snopes is generally regarded
to be factual.

Oh that's right. It's on the Internet therefore it must
be...

sigh...

Need yer nose tested, I do believe.

It blows real good. Trouble is so does the lumber car.

UA100

When you look at the paint stripes, I think you also have to notice the
exhaust in the first picture, and the fact the vehicle is pretty much off
its front wheels.

Ford pickup is the same.

"Mark" wrote in message
th.net...
In article ,
says...
http://www.snopes.com/photos/lumber.asp
Check out the rest of the photos.


Picture No 1: Note stripe. Note location of stripe.

Picture No. 2: Note stripe. Note location of stripe.

So they managed to move the car a couple feet in between
when the two pictures were taken (by different people with
different cameras). So what? (It actually appears in the
second picture that the LEO may be trying to direct the
driver to do something).

Granny sounds like my kind o' gal!
Nahmie
"Fred McClellan" wrote in message
...
I had some long extensions welded on the handles, and that made it a
lot easire for her to snip off tire stems.

No one ever gave her any grief, and the various cops had no choice but
ticket the offender because the vehicle was still in the handicapped
slot when they finally showed up.

Couple of hardheads though they'd beat granny up over some $2.00 tire
stems, but a snootful of Mace changed their minds.

Granny was a mean ol' bitch.
Cheers,
Fred McClellan
the dash plumber at mindspring dot com

"Mike Dembroge" wrote:

Next I got my cell phone and
called the police and tell them I see a man trying to steel a BBQ from Home
Depot gave details of the man and truck. Shorty after two police cars pull
up and the man is now at his truck going fu@*ng crazy cause he can't move...

You were doing fine up to there, assuming the story is true. 911 call
centers get the phone number of the caller...... Filing a false
police report is a felony in most states.

Wes

--
Reply to:
Whiskey Echo Sierra Sierra AT Gee Tee EYE EYE dot COM
Lycos address is a spam trap.

On 14-Sep-2003, "Ron Magen" wrote:

I have seen people pull into Handicap parking slots . . . usually driving
some kind of 'Humongomobile' and get disgusted by it.

Around here, they raised the fine for illegally parking in a handicapped spot
to $5000.00. People complained. That's right - they said the fine was too
high. Our civilization isn't keeping up with our society.

Mike
Who some days really wants to move into the woods and not see anyone
anymore.

Charlie Self wrote:
Right. Go for a poor chick and take the bottom spot.

No kidding. At least you'd be getting laid and you would be
50% there which is way better than a big fat goose egg.

UA100

On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 22:42:39 +0000, Unisaw A100 wrote:

Charlie Self wrote:
Right. Go for a poor chick and take the bottom spot.

No kidding. At least you'd be getting laid and you would be
50% there which is way better than a big fat goose egg.

Yabbut, trading up ain't no cake walk. The poor one usually ends up
richer than the rich one after the major combat operations are over.

-Doug

Fly-by-Night CC wrote:
I have a hard time believing all that lumber could be held up in the
stack at that angle by that string. Sure looks flimsy to me.

Thank you Owen. The Mensa people are now reaccepting
applications from rec.wooddorkers.

UA100, who also would like to point out, "so how'd the guy
even get off the lumber yards lot with his tires dug into
the fender wells anyway?"... among the other
debunkafications I could cite..

B a r r y B u r k e J r . wrote in message . ..
On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 15:51:31 GMT, Larry Jaques
wrote:

Urban legend or not, let's hope this kind of non-contact
vigilantism continues.

Pay it Forward!

Instead of acting like a complete ass and filing a false report, which
makes you no better than the mark, why not simply turn him in for
parking in the handicapped spot?

In the story, nobody 'filed' a false report. The guy made a false
statement to the police.

I suppose if he told the police that it looked to him like the guy
was driving drunk (which appears to be true) when he pulled in and
parked then they might have also arived with equal alacrity and effect.


I'd walk on by, as I believe in Karma...


I think I'd go with the 'report a possibly drunk driver' approach.
A lot of PDs take DWI very seriously and some also take 'aggressive
driving' reports. I dunno wha tthey do with those, they just advertise
that they take the reports.

--

FF

What law? I never heard that before.


We're going through that right now. Our chucrch is remodeling, and the law
requires so many handicapped spots per customer, even though there's maybe one
or two disabled folks in the whole church. Also can no longer use the upstairs
meeting and storage rooms because you can't get a wheelchair up there.

GTO(John)

In article , Trent© wrote:
On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 17:06:49 GMT, "Ron Magen" wrote:

I have seen people pull into Handicap parking slots . . . usually driving
some kind of 'Humongomobile' and get disgusted by it. After a while,
{sometimes I'm a 'slow learner'} I stopped 'turning them in'. The
establishment owners typically don't care - often the spaces are only there
because the 'law' says they HAVE to be there.

What law? I never heard that before.

I believe that would be the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act).

--
Regards,
Doug Miller (alphageek-at-milmac-dot-com)

In rec.woodworking
Trent© wrote:

Where do they fine you $5000? I thought $250 was high! lol

Have you ever considered the idiocy of a handicapped spot at a mall? If
they can't walk in from the parking lot, how are they going to walk the
mall?

The ADA is a good example of a good idea gone completely insane.

Bruce wrote:

In rec.woodworking
Trent© wrote:

Where do they fine you $5000? I thought $250 was high! lol

Have you ever considered the idiocy of a handicapped spot at a mall? If
they can't walk in from the parking lot, how are they going to walk the
mall?

The ADA is a good example of a good idea gone completely insane.

Did you ever notice the extended area along side the handicapped parking
area. This area is designed to facilitate setting up and accessing a wheel
chair.

--
Jack

Sun, Sep 14, 2003, 2:25pm (EDT+4) (Edwin=A0Pawlowski)
claims:
W-w-w-what d-d-d-do you mean scam? =A0 I just had contact with the
daughter of the king snip

LOL Usually I just discard those e-mails, but every once in awhile
I respond. I tell them I will need a $25,000 non-returnable advance,
and I will see what I can do. Cash, mind you. And, they have actually
gotten back to me several times, even willing to have me contact them on
their dime. LOL I really should take them up on that some time, I
could probably talk them out of the cash. Or at least give them one
Hell of a phone bill, those international calls aren't cheap, and I
would make sure to stay on the line for a long, long time. Don't 'cha
just love helping other people? LMAO



JOAT
I've heard it said, "All roads lead to Rome". But wouldn't that depend
on which way you're going?

Life just ain't life without good music. - JOAT
Web Page Update 13 Sep 2003. Some tunes I like.
http://community-2.webtv.net/Jakofal...OMETUNESILIKE/

In article ,
otforme says...
Barry Burke responds:

On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 10:24:58 GMT, Unisaw A100
wrote:

I love the smell of urban legends in the morning.

UA100


I love how someone thinks filing a false police report would be fun.
At least it's probably not true. G

And add in the cost of Club...I haven't looked at one in a decade or more, but
I'd bet you're tossing 70 bucks into the wind to get even with a jerk. Add that
to filing a false police report.


via cell phone to boot. Nobody would be able to trace that call ...
If the story were true, the two police cars would have shown up, lights
flashing, determined that the shoplifting call was false, identified
that the fellow's truck was disabled, and had the guy who disabled the
truck and filed the false report kissing pavement.



Charlie Self

"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without
integrity is dangerous and dreadful."
Samuel Johnson

In article , gto69ra4
@aol.com says...
What law? I never heard that before.


We're going through that right now. Our chucrch is remodeling, and the law
requires so many handicapped spots per customer, even though there's maybe one
or two disabled folks in the whole church. Also can no longer use the upstairs
meeting and storage rooms because you can't get a wheelchair up there.

GTO(John)


Yep, went through that in our congregation in Texas re number of
parking spaces required and with our new building here in Tucson re not
being able to have a choir loft because everyone has to be able to
access everything.

For our congregation in Texas, we had, at most, only two people at any
one time that ever needed handicapped spaces, yet we were required to
have (IIRC) six spaces because of the building occupancy capacity. This
actually wound up using 8 actual parking spaces in a very expensive
parking lot expansion because of the extra width required for the
handicapped spaces. Now, given that we were church, if the time ever
came where more than two or three spaces were required, we would have
voluntarily expanded our capacity to accomodate those who needed the
spaces -- yet this was not acceptable, we had to have those empty spaces
regardless of whether they *ever* got used.

Conversely, our congregation in Tucson has a large contingent of older
parishoners who require handicapped spaces. We could be perfectly
compliant with the law regarding number of spaces and would not be
serving our members because there are more handicapped people than
required spaces, thus we have more spaces than the law requires.

In article ,
Unisaw A100 wrote:

who also would like to point out, "so how'd the guy
even get off the lumber yards lot with his tires dug into
the fender wells anyway?"... among the other
debunkafications I could cite..

I also have a hard time believing the woman is asleep with all the
commotion going on. I think she's DEAD. And the sacks of concrete in the
back seat are intended to make up a pair o' galoshes for her. While the
guy was at the Borg picking up the quickcrete, he got distracted and a
bit carried away with a Blue Light Special on ply and sticks.

--
Owen Lowe and his Fly-by-Night Copper Company
Offering a shim for the Porter-Cable 557 type 2 fence design.
http://www.flybynightcoppercompany.com
http://www.easystreet.com/~onlnlowe/index.html

In article gers.com,
"Michael Daly" wrote:

Around here, they raised the fine for illegally parking in a handicapped spot
to $5000.00. People complained. That's right - they said the fine was too
high. Our civilization isn't keeping up with our society.

Around here, the police dept has a volunteer parking enforcement brigade
made up of joe/jane citizens. They have no legal authority other than to
issue citations for such instances as folks parking in the handicapped
spaces with no valid permit. They are not to confront or get "into it"
with anyone, but the ticket is just as valid as if a PD officer had
stuck it to the windshield.

--
Owen Lowe and his Fly-by-Night Copper Company
Offering a shim for the Porter-Cable 557 type 2 fence design.
http://www.flybynightcoppercompany.com
http://www.easystreet.com/~onlnlowe/index.html

On Mon, 15 Sep 2003 09:10:24 GMT, Unisaw A100
wrote:

Truthfully I think most people are ****ed because
handicapped people get the best parking spots.

UA100, who somewhere in his kit bag has a measured draring
of the ADA symbol...

My daughter took some dance classes at a place that had about a dozen
reserved handicap spaces in front of it - this is in front of a dance
studio.

There was only one other business - right next door to the dance
studio - indoor rock climbing.

Gotta love it.


Regards, Tom
Tom Watson - Woodworker
Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania
http://users.snip.net/~tjwatson

On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 21:26:33 GMT, "George"
wrote:

Most handicapped I've seen drive Caddies, Lincolns, etc. They're elderly,
in the main, with good disposable income. I do have a problem believing
that someone who can mount an F350 4WD pickup is really disabled, though.

Not all handicaps involve what you'd think.

Some could be respiratory, etc... The person could get into a
Peterbilt if they wanted to.

Barry

On 14 Sep 2003 17:40:19 -0700, (Fred the Red
Shirt) wrote:

In the story, nobody 'filed' a false report. The guy made a false
statement to the police.


Tomato or Tomatoe? G

Barry

Tom Watson responds:

Truthfully I think most people are ****ed because
handicapped people get the best parking spots.

UA100, who somewhere in his kit bag has a measured draring
of the ADA symbol...

My daughter took some dance classes at a place that had about a dozen
reserved handicap spaces in front of it - this is in front of a dance
studio.

There was only one other business - right next door to the dance
studio - indoor rock climbing.

Gotta love it.

True. But many long years ago, I lived in an apartment with a bunch of guys,
one of whom tended to date models and dancers (he was a patent attorney: the
rest of us could afford to date only your run-of-the-mill NYC beauties, of
which there is always a sufficiency). With the dancers, aches, groans and Ace
bandages were the norm. I ever saw so many elastic bandages before that period
of my life, nor so many limps.

All of which magically disappear during auditions and shows.

Charlie Self

"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without
integrity is dangerous and dreadful."
Samuel Johnson

In article , Fly-by-Night CC wrote:
In article gers.com,
"Michael Daly" wrote:

Around here, they raised the fine for illegally parking in a handicapped spot
to $5000.00. People complained. That's right - they said the fine was too
high. Our civilization isn't keeping up with our society.

Around here, the police dept has a volunteer parking enforcement brigade
made up of joe/jane citizens. They have no legal authority other than to
issue citations for such instances as folks parking in the handicapped
spaces with no valid permit. They are not to confront or get "into it"
with anyone, but the ticket is just as valid as if a PD officer had
stuck it to the windshield.

A few years ago, I read about a guy that had a bunch of bumper stickers made
up, that he would paste on cars that were parked in handicapped spaces
without a permit.

The stickers said "I am an asshole. I park in handicap spaces."

--
Regards,
Doug Miller (alphageek-at-milmac-dot-com)

On Mon, 15 Sep 2003 11:59:28 GMT, "Scratch Ankle Wood"
wrote:

Your daughter took the classes -- how did she get there? Parents,
grandparents, other relatives, friends, neighbors, etc., drive students to
class. Some of them are handicapped. Did you never stay and observe you
daughter? Did you never go in to talk with the instructor? Pay a bill?
Attend a recital?


Take a deep breath and try to relax.

Enjoying the ironic aspects of life is like enjoying a magic trick.

If you explain it away you suck all the fun out of it.


Regards, Tom
Tom Watson - Woodworker
Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania
http://users.snip.net/~tjwatson

George,
What is that new truck {with about '3 foot, nothing' ground clearance} that
has a profile like a 'Push me / Pull you' ? Saw one In front of the local
library on Saturday. In a 'handicap' slot, and cock-eyed, at that.

Actually, the trucks, suv's, & '4x4's outnumber the Caddies, etc.when it
comes to handicap parking 'violations'. HOWEVER, it scares the hell out of
me when I see some decrepit person {NOT just 'age'}, with the cataract
glasses, hearing aid, 'head down & locked' attitude, hobble {or use their
walker} to their HUGE car and take 10 minutes to clamber in to the drivers
seat. There is NO WAY that they have the vision or coordination to operate a
2, 000 pound {plus}'missile'.

Regards & Good Luck,
Ron Magen
Backyard Boatshop

"George" wrote in message
...
Most handicapped I've seen drive Caddies, Lincolns, etc. They're elderly,
in the main, with good disposable income. I do have a problem believing
that someone who can mount an F350 4WD pickup is really disabled, though.

Barry,
Agreed.

However, if it was something like a respiratory problem, why would they be
eligible for a 'handicap' license plate or placard?

Regards,
Ron Magen
Backyard Boatshop

"B a r r y B u r k e J r ." wrote
in message ...
SNIP

Not all handicaps involve what you'd think.

Some could be respiratory, etc... The person could get into a
Peterbilt if they wanted to.

Barry

Mike,
with at least a 12 ga. to 'dissuade' all but the invited visitors !!!

"Michael Daly" wrote in message
e.rogers.com...
SNIP
Mike
Who some days really wants to move into the woods and not see anyone
anymore.

Ron Magen writes:

However, if it was something like a respiratory problem, why would they be
eligible for a 'handicap' license plate or placard?

Walking any distance can be a problem with severe COPD. Check it out in google.

And smokers who woodwork, check it out and give thought to where you're headed.

Charlie Self

"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without
integrity is dangerous and dreadful."
Samuel Johnson

On Mon, 15 Sep 2003 09:10:24 GMT, Unisaw A100
pixelated:

Mark & Juanita wrote:
Now, given that we were church, if the time ever
came where more than two or three spaces were required, we would have
voluntarily expanded our capacity to accomodate those who needed the
spaces --

Well of course you/they would have. I mean, it's a
Christian group right? Trouble is, how fast can you make
the conversion? Let's say you have three spots taken up by
"regulars" and then one week two more people with
disabilities decide to come and have their feet washed with
you. See where I'm going? It would be kinda cool though if
you had a ADA SWAT team. Big van, spray cans and stencils.

Y'mean to make blue-lined HC spots out of normal parking spaces?
heh, heh, heh


Truthfully I think most people are ****ed because
handicapped people get the best parking spots.

Verily. Back when I was a LoCaler, I often walked out of a
shopping mall with bag in hand and saw the very same people
driving around in circles (kinda like sharks circling, huh?),
waiting for that 'perfect' parking spot that I had seen on
the way in. This after I found the first open spot in the
parking lot, walked a block to get into the store, toured the
entire mall for exercise, did my shopping, paid for it, and
walked out to my truck 20 minutes later.

I got my exercise, bypassed all the stress of circling (and
inevitably being cut off) and did my shopping while these folks
built up a head of steam that will someday rip their heart right
out of them. I'm happier and healthier from my refreshing walk.

Them? Go figure!


-
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering WTF happened.
---
http://diversify.com Website Application Programming

Mark & Juanita wrote:

Truthfully I think most people are ****ed because
handicapped people get the best parking spots.

And just as truthfully, I know (and don't just think) that handicapped
people would be ecstatic to park in the farthest reaches of every parking
lot if a miracle happened and they didn't have need for handicapped parking
spaces anymore.

It's too bad that a universal mind meld can't get that idea across to "most
people". The hundreds and hundreds of little daily aggravations that the
disabled have to experience every day would drive the able-bodied absolutely
insane if all of a sudden they had to face them on a permanent basis.

A few years ago, I read about a guy that had a bunch of bumper
stickers made up, that he would paste on cars that were parked in
handicapped spaces without a permit.

The stickers said "I am an asshole. I park in handicap spaces."

I like it.

There are several handicapped spots in front of our local grocery
store. They are the favorite parking place of the pickup jockeys who stop
in for their Slim Jims and 12-packs of Anheuser-Busch products, the empties
of which they use to decorate the roadsides on their way home.

The shopping cart corrals aren't too far from the handicapped parking
spaces. When the opportunity presents itself, I wait until the bozo gets
into the store, then I surround his cowboy Cadillac with haphazard blocks
of carts. This takes only a few moments. The time he saves by parking
right in front of the store is lost in clearing a path back into his
vehicle.

Scott, closet vigilante