Got maxi (aka, Maxine, the NEW DOG) snoring and farting at me feet.
(working on stopping the farting bit, shes a WMD at the moment. )
Suspect its the crap my wide is feeding her.

Dogs are good, Maxis OK. 7 months old, still a lot of idiot pup in
her, but shes coming along nicely. Shes a Staffie cross something -
sold to us a a Staffie, but mind you it was from people who had
questionable knowledge of their own childrens parentage - shes OK.

typical Staffie, always trying it on - whose REALLY in charge etc -
can cope with that OK, shes a Total Klutz, but hey, shes a dog they-
talk you - wooowow ooo wooow waaah wahhh how was your day etc (sorry).

Has stopped ****ing on the carpet - - (****, my wife was hopeless,
- issues? - you gotta be kidding) I had a gutful, taught her to stop.
Simple. rubbed her nose in it , payed out on her - she knew she had
stuffed up, big time. Only had to do it twice - shes not stupid.( shes
a Dog Duh) . No psychological issues here - just a "dont **** or ****
in the house., Basic.. Takes less time than with kids.
Smart dog - recognises her own name. The old dog, Roger , is ****ed
Off - but still top dog. Thats OK, as it should be.

You want a picture, just ask. I reckon shes a good looking bitch.

Andrew VK3BFA.

On Mar 16, 1:54*am, Andrew VK3BFA wrote:


More Maxi.
She trashed my mobile phone. Honest to God.

(wish I could write as well as Don Foreman - )

Was standing in the laundry, trying to remember WHY I was in the
laundry (yeh, OK, seniors moment) when Maxi the Dog....well, slithered
past on her way to the door. OK, here your a dog person or not - you
know when the dog is trying to be devious, shifty. You just know,
racial memory as Jung would say. And did. (gratuitous idiot
irrelevant Lefty comment here ) So, you say Loudly, with meaning

WTF are you up to........
She looks back, sprung.
She has my mobile phone in her mouth.
She sighs, drops it, goes out the door with all the dignity she can
muster.
She had dropped it in her water bowl. This dog is either a total
devious *******, or a Total Klutz.

I am going with hope towards the latter theory - I mean, it was an
act so breathtaking, you had to applaud it. Didn't pay out on her, it
was she being a Dog. Went and got a new mobile phone - no idea how the
bloody thing works, can just about dial a number so far...

Andrew VK3BFA

Andrew VK3BFA wrote:
Got maxi (aka, Maxine, the NEW DOG) snoring and farting at me feet.
(working on stopping the farting bit, shes a WMD at the moment. )
Suspect its the crap my wide is feeding her.

Try one or two teaspoons of molasses in
her food once a day. Worked for us.

Dogs are good, Maxis OK. 7 months old, still a lot of idiot pup in
her, but shes coming along nicely. Shes a Staffie cross something -
sold to us a a Staffie, but mind you it was from people who had
questionable knowledge of their own childrens parentage - shes OK.

typical Staffie, always trying it on - whose REALLY in charge etc -
can cope with that OK, shes a Total Klutz, but hey, shes a dog they-
talk you - wooowow ooo wooow waaah wahhh how was your day etc (sorry).

Has stopped ****ing on the carpet - - (****, my wife was hopeless,
- issues? - you gotta be kidding) I had a gutful, taught her to stop.
Simple. rubbed her nose in it , payed out on her - she knew she had
stuffed up, big time. Only had to do it twice - shes not stupid.( shes
a Dog Duh) . No psychological issues here - just a "dont **** or ****
in the house., Basic.. Takes less time than with kids.
Smart dog - recognises her own name. The old dog, Roger , is ****ed
Off - but still top dog. Thats OK, as it should be.

You want a picture, just ask. I reckon shes a good looking bitch.

Andrew VK3BFA.

On 03/15/2011 08:54 AM, Andrew VK3BFA wrote:
Got maxi (aka, Maxine, the NEW DOG) snoring and farting at me feet.
(working on stopping the farting bit, shes a WMD at the moment. )
Suspect its the crap my wide is feeding her.

The younger of our two poodles has that problem -- putting yogurt in his
food helped immensely, except after a while he stopped eating it. You
can get powdered pro-biotic stuff in little capsules, which really isn't
that much more per dose than yogurt. Just get the stuff that's mostly
probiotics, and not mostly sand or sawdust.

Before yogurt, I was thinking maybe I could get an ARPA grant to study
how the army could use him for crowd control: "stand back! I have a
flatulent poodle and I know how to use him!".

--

Tim Wescott
Wescott Design Services
http://www.wescottdesign.com

Do you need to implement control loops in software?
"Applied Control Theory for Embedded Systems" was written for you.
See details at http://www.wescottdesign.com/actfes/actfes.html

On Tue, 15 Mar 2011 11:53:28 -0700, Jim Stewart
wrote:

Andrew VK3BFA wrote:
Got maxi (aka, Maxine, the NEW DOG) snoring and farting at me feet.
(working on stopping the farting bit, shes a WMD at the moment. )
Suspect its the crap my wide is feeding her.

Andrew, you'd bloody well BETTER hope your "wide" doesn't read that.


Try one or two teaspoons of molasses in
her food once a day. Worked for us.

To create gas? Sugar plus carbs (dog meal) = instant farts (usually)

--
Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
-- Demosthenes

"Larry Jaques" wrote in message
...

Andrew, you'd bloody well BETTER hope your "wide" doesn't read that.


I saw that too, it could start a world-wide nickname trend!


Try one or two teaspoons of molasses in
her food once a day. Worked for us.

To create gas? Sugar plus carbs (dog meal) = instant farts (usually)


Will it work for me too? How long before I go to church do I have to consume?

On Tue, 15 Mar 2011 15:35:26 -0400, "Tom Gardner" w@w wrote:


"Larry Jaques" wrote in message
.. .

Andrew, you'd bloody well BETTER hope your "wide" doesn't read that.


I saw that too, it could start a world-wide nickname trend!

SWMBO is much, much safer, methinks.

(She Who Must Be Obeyed)


Try one or two teaspoons of molasses in
her food once a day. Worked for us.

To create gas? Sugar plus carbs (dog meal) = instant farts (usually)


Will it work for me too? How long before I go to church do I have to consume?

It varies, but with me, it works within a couple hours and lasts for
hours. Go for it!

--
Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
-- Demosthenes

"Andrew VK3BFA" wrote in message
...
Got maxi (aka, Maxine, the NEW DOG) snoring and farting at me feet.
(working on stopping the farting bit, shes a WMD at the moment. )
Suspect its the crap my wide is feeding her.


Look for something with a substantial protien count otherwise they fart a
lot and eat ( and subsequently **** ) a ton of it...

--IOW look for something with meat instead of grain fillers in the first and
/or second ingredient line.

--

Andrew VK3BFA wrote:

Got maxi (aka, Maxine, the NEW DOG) snoring and farting at me feet.
(working on stopping the farting bit, shes a WMD at the moment. )
Suspect its the crap my wide is feeding her.

Dogs are good, Maxis OK. 7 months old, still a lot of idiot pup in
her, but shes coming along nicely. Shes a Staffie cross something -
sold to us a a Staffie, but mind you it was from people who had
questionable knowledge of their own childrens parentage - shes OK.

I've read that training dogs is almost trivial - they _long_ to please
their master (or mistress, depending.)

The problem is training the owners.

You seem to be OK in that respect - just tell your "wide" ;-) not to
feed the dog leftover corned beef and cabbage, or leftover chili. ;-)

Is giving a dog a spoonful of peanut butter animal cruelty? ;-D

Cheers!
Rich

Tom Gardner wrote:
"Larry Jaques" wrote in message

Andrew, you'd bloody well BETTER hope your "wide" doesn't read that.

I saw that too, it could start a world-wide nickname trend!

Try one or two teaspoons of molasses in
her food once a day. Worked for us.

To create gas? Sugar plus carbs (dog meal) = instant farts (usually)

Will it work for me too? How long before I go to church do I have to
consume?

I had a can of Hormel Chili for late dinner last night (about 8 PM) and
was farting REAL GOOD by 6 AM. ;-)

For church, I'd suggest a midnight snack. :-

Cheers!
Rich

Tim Wescott wrote:

Before yogurt, I was thinking maybe I could get an ARPA grant to study
how the army could use him for crowd control: "stand back! I have a
flatulent poodle and I know how to use him!".

ROFL! I swear, this is the closest I've come to actually falling off my
chair! (good thing I wasn't having coffee - I'd have had to send you the
bill for the keyboard. ;-)

Thanks!
Rich

On Tue, 15 Mar 2011 15:35:26 -0400, "Tom Gardner" w@w wrote:


"Larry Jaques" wrote in message
.. .

Andrew, you'd bloody well BETTER hope your "wide" doesn't read that.


I saw that too, it could start a world-wide nickname trend!


Try one or two teaspoons of molasses in
her food once a day. Worked for us.

To create gas? Sugar plus carbs (dog meal) = instant farts (usually)


Will it work for me too? How long before I go to church do I have to consume?

If you'd like to try it but don't have any molasses, we have lots of
moles.

--Doggies rock; my wife rescues Cockers and has found new homes for
several dozen. Great to have a watch beast, even a small one, out in the
boonies where we are... ;-)

--
"Steamboat Ed" Haas : Steel, Stainless, Titanium:
Hacking the Trailing Edge! : Guaranteed Uncertified Welding!
www.nmpproducts.com
---Decks a-wash in a sea of words---

Work on your Scot accent, and carry it like a bagpipe?

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


"Rich Grise" wrote in message
...
Tim Wescott wrote:

Before yogurt, I was thinking maybe I could get an ARPA
grant to study
how the army could use him for crowd control: "stand back!
I have a
flatulent poodle and I know how to use him!".

ROFL! I swear, this is the closest I've come to actually
falling off my
chair! (good thing I wasn't having coffee - I'd have had to
send you the
bill for the keyboard. ;-)

Thanks!
Rich