There are some things around the house (and in life) that it seems
only Dad can do (of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but
humor me). The one I encountered today:

Hear a toilet that is running and running and fix it (the chain got
caught under the flapper)

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

Mike

In article , Mike wrote:

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

* Adding oil to the car (despite warning lights)
* Adding rinse aid to the dishwasher
* Cleaning the lint filter in the dryer
* Replacing HVAC filters
* Fixing blocked toilets (my personal fav)
* Cunnilingus

--
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| Malcolm Hoar "The more I practice, the luckier I get". |
| Gary Player. |
| http://www.malch.com/ Shpx gur PQN. |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

David Nebenzahl wrote:
On 3/20/2009 4:37 PM Malcolm Hoar spake thus:

In article
,
Mike wrote:
Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

* Adding oil to the car (despite warning lights)
* Adding rinse aid to the dishwasher
* Cleaning the lint filter in the dryer
* Replacing HVAC filters
* Fixing blocked toilets (my personal fav)
* Cunnilingus

Hate to break it to you, but that last one can also be done by the
plumber, the gardener, the milkman, ... while Dad is away, of course.

Wot, they didn't?

On 3/20/2009 4:37 PM Malcolm Hoar spake thus:

In article , Mike wrote:

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

* Adding oil to the car (despite warning lights)
* Adding rinse aid to the dishwasher
* Cleaning the lint filter in the dryer
* Replacing HVAC filters
* Fixing blocked toilets (my personal fav)
* Cunnilingus

Hate to break it to you, but that last one can also be done by the
plumber, the gardener, the milkman, ... while Dad is away, of course.


--
Made From Pears: Pretty good chance that the product is at least
mostly pears.
Made With Pears: Pretty good chance that pears will be detectable in
the product.
Contains Pears: One pear seed per multiple tons of product.

(with apologies to Dorothy L. Sayers)

(Malcolm Hoar) wrote in
:

In article
,
Mike wrote:

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

* Adding oil to the car (despite warning lights)
* Adding rinse aid to the dishwasher
* Cleaning the lint filter in the dryer
* Replacing HVAC filters
* Fixing blocked toilets (my personal fav)
* Cunnilingus


Don't forget stink up the bathroom like no other family member can.

In article m,
David Nebenzahl wrote:

On 3/20/2009 4:37 PM Malcolm Hoar spake thus:

In article
, Mike
wrote:

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

* Adding oil to the car (despite warning lights)
* Adding rinse aid to the dishwasher
* Cleaning the lint filter in the dryer
* Replacing HVAC filters
* Fixing blocked toilets (my personal fav)
* Cunnilingus

Hate to break it to you, but that last one can also be done by the
plumber, the gardener, the milkman, ... while Dad is away, of course.

You forgot the dog.

On Mar 20, 7:53�pm, Mike wrote:
There are some things around the house (and in life) that it seems
only Dad can do (of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but
humor me). �The one I encountered today:

Hear a toilet that is running and running and fix it (the chain got
caught under the flapper)

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? �Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

Mike

Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back down.
I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I put it
down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42 years. :-)

Hank ~~~not toilet trained

On Mar 21, 6:27*am, "Hustlin' Hank" wrote:
On Mar 20, 7:53 pm, Mike wrote:

There are some things around the house (and in life) that it seems
only Dad can do (of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but
humor me). The one I encountered today:

Hear a toilet that is running and running and fix it (the chain got
caught under the flapper)

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

Mike

Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back down.
I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I put it
down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42 years. :-)

Hank ~~~not toilet trained

Heck...around my house with an 18-month old on hand, putting the
toilet seat AND LID down is self-defense! Boy I hate hearing him
splashing around in there.

Mike

Hustlin' Hank wrote:

Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back down.
I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I put it
down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42 years. :-)


You must make allowances for female genetic differences. Women do not look
before they sit. They just don't, and can't be trained to do so.

If the seat is up when it's time to go, they'll get wedged in the bowl.

I suggest putting the seat down is a small investment in preventing the
necessary shattering of the toilet with a sledge to free the trapped female.

On Mar 21, 7:35*am, Mike wrote:
On Mar 21, 6:27*am, "Hustlin' Hank" wrote:



On Mar 20, 7:53 pm, Mike wrote:

There are some things around the house (and in life) that it seems
only Dad can do (of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but
humor me). The one I encountered today:

Hear a toilet that is running and running and fix it (the chain got
caught under the flapper)

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

Mike

Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back down.
I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I put it
down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42 years. :-)

Hank ~~~not toilet trained

Heck...around my house with an 18-month old on hand, putting the
toilet seat AND LID down is self-defense! *Boy I hate hearing him
splashing around in there.

Mike

HAHA Mike, I have a 20 month old, and he's lifting the lid everyday
to get to the "fun" inside.

HeyBub wrote:
Hustlin' Hank wrote:
Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back down.
I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I put it
down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42 years. :-)


You must make allowances for female genetic differences. Women do not look
before they sit. They just don't, and can't be trained to do so.

If the seat is up when it's time to go, they'll get wedged in the bowl.

I suggest putting the seat down is a small investment in preventing the
necessary shattering of the toilet with a sledge to free the trapped female.


My answer to women that bitch about it was always 'Be glad I bother to
lift it!'

--
aem sends....

On Mar 21, 5:27*am, "Hustlin' Hank" wrote:
On Mar 20, 7:53 pm, Mike wrote:

There are some things around the house (and in life) that it seems
only Dad can do (of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but
humor me). The one I encountered today:

Hear a toilet that is running and running and fix it (the chain got
caught under the flapper)

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

Mike

Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back down.
I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I put it
down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42 years. :-)

Hank ~~~not toilet trained

Kohler makes an automatic seat just for you, Hank. G

aemeijers wrote:

I suggest putting the seat down is a small investment in preventing
the necessary shattering of the toilet with a sledge to free the
trapped female.
My answer to women that bitch about it was always 'Be glad I bother to
lift it!'

And when they complain about "not hitting the toilet," simply say "Well, you
try peeing while standing up and let's see how good you do."

Ulysses wrote:
"HeyBub" wrote in message
m...
Hustlin' Hank wrote:

Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back
down. I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I
put it down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42
years. :-)


Women do not look
before they sit. They just don't, and can't be trained to do so.

Thanks for that explanation. I've tried to have my wife explain to
me why it's so important that the seat be put back down and I never
quite got it. Plus I am still confused if they mean the lid or the
seat.


You can try this training tool. I don't think it'll get the proper response,
but, what the hell:

http://www.prankplace.com/toiletmons...FSQhDQod0HSy4w

HeyBub wrote:
Hustlin' Hank wrote:

Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back
down. I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I
put it down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42
years. :-)

You must make allowances for female genetic differences. Women do not
look before they sit. They just don't, and can't be trained to do so.

And since they NEVER lift the seat up, they NEVER clean under the seat, that
is left to men who have to touch the seat to pick it up. I have been in an
all female house and you should see the disgusting condition of the bottom
of the seat.

"HeyBub" wrote in message
m...
Hustlin' Hank wrote:

Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back down.
I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I put it
down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42 years. :-)


Women do not look
before they sit. They just don't, and can't be trained to do so.

Thanks for that explanation. I've tried to have my wife explain to me why
it's so important that the seat be put back down and I never quite got it.
Plus I am still confused if they mean the lid or the seat.


If the seat is up when it's time to go, they'll get wedged in the bowl.

I suggest putting the seat down is a small investment in preventing the
necessary shattering of the toilet with a sledge to free the trapped
female.

On Mar 21, 9:14*am, Zephyr wrote:
On Mar 21, 7:35*am, Mike wrote:



On Mar 21, 6:27*am, "Hustlin' Hank" wrote:

On Mar 20, 7:53 pm, Mike wrote:

There are some things around the house (and in life) that it seems
only Dad can do (of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but
humor me). The one I encountered today:

Hear a toilet that is running and running and fix it (the chain got
caught under the flapper)

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

Mike

Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back down..
I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I put it
down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42 years. :-)

Hank ~~~not toilet trained

Heck...around my house with an 18-month old on hand, putting the
toilet seat AND LID down is self-defense! *Boy I hate hearing him
splashing around in there.

Mike

HAHA *Mike, I have a 20 month old, and he's lifting the lid everyday
to get to the "fun" inside.

16-22 months is the golden age....toddlin' around, not talking too
much. Love it.

On Sat, 21 Mar 2009 08:11:35 -0500, "HeyBub" wrote:

Hustlin' Hank wrote:

Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back down.
I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I put it
down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42 years. :-)


You must make allowances for female genetic differences. Women do not look
before they sit. They just don't, and can't be trained to do so.

If the seat is up when it's time to go, they'll get wedged in the bowl.

I suggest putting the seat down is a small investment in preventing the
necessary shattering of the toilet with a sledge to free the trapped female.


Yeah, but the yell when butt hits porcelain can be worth it. As much fun as
shutting off the hot water when the shower is in use.

NOTE: been married 44 years, have not done either on for 43.999 years.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Retired Shop Rat: 14,647 days in a GM plant.
Speak softly and carry a loaded .45
Lifetime member; Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Web Site: www.destarr.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Drill through the side of the bowl, and thread in a
schraeder valve (tire valve stem). When she gets stuck, pull
the valve core, hook up the air hose, inflate to about 28
PSI, and then scrape her off the ceiling.

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


"HeyBub" wrote in message
m...

I suggest putting the seat down is a small investment in
preventing the
necessary shattering of the toilet with a sledge to free the
trapped female.

A freind of mine has an eight year old boy. We're out to the
park a couple Saturdays ago. Light rain. I'm going this way
and that, to walk down the road and stay dry. Joshua goes
right to the center of the puddle, and stomps up and down. I
wonder if I was ever like that?

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


"Zephyr" wrote in message
...

Heck...around my house with an 18-month old on hand,
putting the
toilet seat AND LID down is self-defense! Boy I hate
hearing him
splashing around in there.

Mike

HAHA Mike, I have a 20 month old, and he's lifting the lid
everyday
to get to the "fun" inside.

"HeyBub" wrote:

You must make allowances for female genetic differences. Women do not look
before they sit. They just don't, and can't be trained to do so.

I grew up in a household where Mom was the only female. Mom learned to look.

I married into household where I was the only male. I learned to put the seat
down.

And all those old girl friends said I couldn't be trained....

-- Doug

Malcolm Hoar wrote:
In article , Mike wrote:

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

* Adding oil to the car (despite warning lights)
* Adding rinse aid to the dishwasher
* Cleaning the lint filter in the dryer
* Replacing HVAC filters
* Fixing blocked toilets (my personal fav)
* Cunnilingus


Your father obviously led a sheltered life. Ask your mother. ;o)

On 3/21/2009 8:45 AM HeyBub spake thus:

aemeijers wrote:

I suggest putting the seat down is a small investment in preventing
the necessary shattering of the toilet with a sledge to free the
trapped female.

My answer to women that bitch about it was always 'Be glad I bother to
lift it!'

And when they complain about "not hitting the toilet," simply say "Well, you
try peeing while standing up and let's see how good you do."

Rent a copy of "About Schmidt" for the solution.


--
Made From Pears: Pretty good chance that the product is at least
mostly pears.
Made With Pears: Pretty good chance that pears will be detectable in
the product.
Contains Pears: One pear seed per multiple tons of product.

(with apologies to Dorothy L. Sayers)

On Mar 20, 8:37*pm, (Malcolm Hoar) wrote:
In article , Mike wrote:

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? *Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

* Adding oil to the car (despite warning lights)
* Adding rinse aid to the dishwasher
* Cleaning the lint filter in the dryer
* Replacing HVAC filters
* Fixing blocked toilets (my personal fav)

Thought of a couple mo

- Kill a spider
- Remove a mouse-trap that has completed its mission
- Feed the dogs (in my house at least)

On Sat, 21 Mar 2009 11:45:51 -0500, "HeyBub"
wrote:

aemeijers wrote:

I suggest putting the seat down is a small investment in preventing
the necessary shattering of the toilet with a sledge to free the
trapped female.
My answer to women that bitch about it was always 'Be glad I bother to
lift it!'

And when they complain about "not hitting the toilet," simply say "Well, you
try peeing while standing up and let's see how good you do."

No, no, since men sit for #2, why not sit for #1 and simplify
everything, including cleaning the bathroom? Seriously, I fail to see
why men **** standing up in front of a toilet when it's so easy to
miss. Urinals make sense, toilets don't.

On Mar 22, 6:50�pm, KLS wrote:


No, no, since men sit for #2, why not sit for #1 and simplify
everything, including cleaning the bathroom? �Seriously, I fail to see
why men **** standing up in front of a toilet when it's so easy to
miss. �Urinals make sense, toilets don't. �

We **** standing up because we don't want to put our ass on a dirty
toilet seat unless it is absolutely necessary.

I've seen and heard about how there is more **** (and other things) on
toilets in womens restrooms than mens, why is that?

I'll agree to disagree, if you wish.

Hank ~~~protects his ass

KLS wrote:
On Sat, 21 Mar 2009 11:45:51 -0500, "HeyBub"
wrote:

aemeijers wrote:
I suggest putting the seat down is a small investment in preventing
the necessary shattering of the toilet with a sledge to free the
trapped female.
My answer to women that bitch about it was always 'Be glad I bother to
lift it!'
And when they complain about "not hitting the toilet," simply say "Well, you
try peeing while standing up and let's see how good you do."

No, no, since men sit for #2, why not sit for #1 and simplify
everything, including cleaning the bathroom? Seriously, I fail to see
why men **** standing up in front of a toilet ...

Because they can. It is also a lot faster, when you are in a hurry.
Note also that aiming is still required when sitting down, unless you
are sure everything is tucked and oriented properly.

--
aem sends...

"aemeijers" wrote in message
...
HeyBub wrote:
Hustlin' Hank wrote:
Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only one
who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back down. I
feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I put it down,
others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42 years. :-)


You must make allowances for female genetic differences. Women do not
look before they sit. They just don't, and can't be trained to do so.

If the seat is up when it's time to go, they'll get wedged in the bowl.
I suggest putting the seat down is a small investment in preventing the
necessary shattering of the toilet with a sledge to free the trapped
female.
My answer to women that bitch about it was always 'Be glad I bother to
lift it!'

Heck yea, aem. I was just going to suggest that the guys close both lids
and listen for the howls.

--
aem sends....

"Hustlin' Hank" wrote in message
...
On Mar 22, 6:50�pm, KLS wrote:


No, no, since men sit for #2, why not sit for #1 and simplify
everything, including cleaning the bathroom? �Seriously, I fail to see
why men **** standing up in front of a toilet when it's so easy to
miss. �Urinals make sense, toilets don't. �

We **** standing up because we don't want to put our ass on a dirty
toilet seat unless it is absolutely necessary.

I've seen and heard about how there is more **** (and other things) on
toilets in womens restrooms than mens, why is that?

I'll agree to disagree, if you wish.

Hank ~~~protects his ass

The wife says that it's because they're all afraid to sit so they sort of
squat and their legs get tired so they lean back and forth. Try to imagine
the rest!

"EXT" wrote in message
anews.com...
HeyBub wrote:
Hustlin' Hank wrote:

Operation of the toilet seat. Apparently, in my house, I am the only
one who is required to lift the toilet seat and then put it back
down. I feel that if I lift it, others should put it down, and if I
put it down, others should lift it. Been arguing over this for 42
years. :-)

You must make allowances for female genetic differences. Women do not
look before they sit. They just don't, and can't be trained to do so.

And since they NEVER lift the seat up, they NEVER clean under the seat,
that is left to men who have to touch the seat to pick it up. I have been
in an all female house and you should see the disgusting condition of the
bottom of the seat.


Yea, they seldom lift the seat except for the very occasional cleaning of
the porcelin.

Heck yea, aem. I was just going to suggest that the guys close both
lids and listen for the howls.

That's the solution I came up. I told SWMBO that if I had to put the
seat down, she had to put the lid down. It's worked well for almost 30
years.

--
Steve Bell
New Life Home Improvement
Arlington, TX USA

"KLS" wrote in message
No, no, since men sit for #2, why not sit for #1 and simplify
everything, including cleaning the bathroom? Seriously, I fail to see
why men **** standing up in front of a toilet when it's so easy to
miss. Urinals make sense, toilets don't.

No reason to miss unless you are a two year old or drunk. It is much easier
to open a zipper than drop your drawers.

On Mar 20, 8:37*pm, (Malcolm Hoar) wrote:
In article , Mike wrote:

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? *Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

There's no Dad in our house, just a husband and a wife.

* Adding oil to the car (despite warning lights)

Neither of us likes messing with cars; we have the mechanic do it.

* Adding rinse aid to the dishwasher

Whichever of us notices that the indicator has gone all the way
down to "Add". Either of us might unload the dishwasher.

* Cleaning the lint filter in the dryer

Me, every time I use the dryer.

* Replacing HVAC filters

Either of us might do this.

* Fixing blocked toilets (my personal fav)

I'll use the plunger if I'm responsible for a FTF.
If a snake is required, I happily defer to my husband.

* Cunnilingus

Sorry, I'm just not that flexible (darnit).

He usually kills spiders, since he's arachnophobic.

The toilet seat rule in our house is: Make sure it's
the way you need it before you start.

Cindy Hamilton

On Mar 26, 12:56�pm, Cindy Hamilton
wrote:


* Fixing blocked toilets (my personal fav)

I'll use the plunger if I'm responsible for a FTF.
If a snake is required, I happily defer to my husband.

* Cunnilingus

Sorry, I'm just not that flexible (darnit).

He usually kills spiders, since he's arachnophobic.

The toilet seat rule in our house is: �Make sure it's
the way you need it before you start.

Cindy Hamilton

If the toilet clogs, it is always the wifes fault for using too much
paper product.

We basically have the same rule you have in regards to the toilet
seat.

My wife usually kills all the spiders, because they bug her. :-) But,
she will catch a fly with her hand and throw it out the door. What's
up with that? I kill them all so they won't reproduce.

Hank ~~~~thinks cunnilingus stops reproduction possibilities

Mike wrote:
There are some things around the house (and in life) that it seems
only Dad can do (of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but
humor me). The one I encountered today:

Hear a toilet that is running and running and fix it (the chain got
caught under the flapper)

Why can no one else hear this and investigate?? Ah, the burdens we
bear.....

Okay folks....what else can only be done by Dad?

Mike

It's not the "things that can only be done by Dad" that gets to me,
it's my total uselessness and ineptitude until they need something
done.

Apparently, even after being around for more than half-a-century and
raising a pretty decent family, I know nothing about life, jobs,
girls, boys, etc.

"Leave me alone."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"It's different these days."

Followed by:

"Oh Daddy, my computer's broken, please fix it."

"Oh Daddy, there's a spider on my ceiling."

"Dad, can I borrow $20 until payday?"

"Dad, I can't get my brake pads off."

I guess if they didn't love me, I wouldn't be the one they turn to
when they need help. ;-)

In article , DerbyDad03 wrote:

Apparently, even after being around for more than half-a-century and
raising a pretty decent family, I know nothing about life, jobs,
girls, boys, etc.

"Leave me alone."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"It's different these days."

Followed by:

"Oh Daddy, my computer's broken, please fix it."

"Oh Daddy, there's a spider on my ceiling."

"Dad, can I borrow $20 until payday?"

You don't know what you're talking about. It's different these days.
Try $200 or $2000 ;-)


--
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| Malcolm Hoar "The more I practice, the luckier I get". |
| Gary Player. |
| http://www.malch.com/ Shpx gur PQN. |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Malcolm Hoar wrote:
In article , DerbyDad03 wrote:

Apparently, even after being around for more than half-a-century and
raising a pretty decent family, I know nothing about life, jobs,
girls, boys, etc.

"Leave me alone."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"It's different these days."

Followed by:

"Oh Daddy, my computer's broken, please fix it."

"Oh Daddy, there's a spider on my ceiling."

"Dad, can I borrow $20 until payday?"

You don't know what you're talking about. It's different these days.
Try $200 or $2000 ;-)


$20...I lend.

$200+...We talk.