Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your name
.... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?
Me: go on then
Her: Calls may be recorded for training etc etc
How do you pronounce your christian name?
Me: Hang on a sec, what are you selling, where are you going with this?
Her: You ****in' *******.
Me: LMFAO and thanked her very much.

Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is selling all
sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a bad
boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line and
sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.

On Wed, 6 Mar 2013 12:25:00 -0000, "brass monkey" wrote:


Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is selling all
sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a bad
boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line and
sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.


Might I suggest you try the following with grateful thanks to "Paul C
Dickie" ...

"Come the next election, I'm going to hang some garlic in the porch
lest Gordon mac ****e-Features tries canvassing despite the sign
which reads:

"The following are NOT welcome: Hawkers, salesmen, peddlers, box-
wallahs, vagrants, mendicants, proselytisers for religion or politics,
canvassers of any description whatsoever, putative fishmongers,
antique dealers 'on the knock', vendors of animal droppings or folk
who are 'just doing some work up the road'. If you fit into one or
more of those categories, just bugger off." "

DerekG

On 06/03/2013 12:25, brass monkey wrote:
Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your name
.... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?
Me: go on then
Her: Calls may be recorded for training etc etc
How do you pronounce your christian name?
Me: Hang on a sec, what are you selling, where are you going with this?
Her: You ****in' *******.
Me: LMFAO and thanked her very much.

Completely wrong approach IMHO.

Just say: "Can you hold on a minute...." and get on with something else.
Put the phone back 5 mins later, or keep coming back to them to get them
to hold on longer.

(snip)
Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is selling all
sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a bad
boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line and
sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.



We get them every 6-8 weeks or so. Ex-offenders trying to sell stuff
from large hold-alls. Part of a scheme called 'new start' or something
similar.

I cannot see how getting no sale at every door can help them. The
constant rejection is not conducive to re-integrating them, is it ?

Some turn quite nasty when told 'no thanks'. It does not help that I am
a poor communicator. So now I will not answer the door.

David

I've had a recent spate of two distinct kinds of cold calls:

"Just a quick two minute survey" calls from a source which my phone's
display can only identify as "International - Out Of Area. These are real
people, possibly in India, and they ask for me by name. I've tried various
techniques to stop them, including telling the caller that "Mr Coules died
last week" and on one occasion actually going through the entire survey
(which took a deal longer than two minutes) giving false but plausible
answers to every question. The calls still continue.

Automated calls. On answering there's a fractional pause then a recorded
voice.

If there's an answering machine switched on at the time of the call, both
real people and machines just hang up without saying a word.

All this despite my being registered with the TPS.


Bert

On Wednesday 06 March 2013 16:33 Bert Coules wrote in uk.d-i-y:

I've had a recent spate of two distinct kinds of cold calls:

"Just a quick two minute survey" calls from a source which my phone's
display can only identify as "International - Out Of Area. These are real
people, possibly in India, and they ask for me by name. I've tried
various techniques to stop them, including telling the caller that "Mr
Coules died last week" and on one occasion actually going through the
entire survey (which took a deal longer than two minutes) giving false but
plausible
answers to every question. The calls still continue.

Have you tried:

"What colour knickers are you wearing" (to either sex of caller).

--
Tim Watts Personal Blog: http://squiddy.blog.dionic.net/

http://www.sensorly.com/ Crowd mapping of 2G/3G/4G mobile signal coverage

Reading this on the web? See:
http://wiki.diyfaq.org.uk/index.php?title=Usenet

Tim Watts wrote:

Have you tried:

"What colour knickers are you wearing" (to either sex of caller).

I couldn't be that vulgar. But in any case, the problem is not terminating
any particular call but preventing further ones: and since no two callers
ever seem to be the same, insulting or offending an individual would
presumably have little or no effect.

Bert

"David" wrote in message
...
(snip)
Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it
and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is selling
all
sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a bad
boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line and
sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.



We get them every 6-8 weeks or so. Ex-offenders trying to sell stuff from
large hold-alls. Part of a scheme called 'new start' or something similar.

I cannot see how getting no sale at every door can help them. The constant
rejection is not conducive to re-integrating them, is it ?

More likely to do that than letting the veg out in front of the TV at home
tho.

Some turn quite nasty when told 'no thanks'.

Yeah, same with some of the phone arseholes.

It does not help that I am a poor communicator.

I'm an excellent communicator when I am telling them to **** off.

So now I will not answer the door.

I mostly don't answer phone calls that don't present caller ID and
only answer the ones that I don't recognise when I feel like it.

In message , Bert
Coules writes
Tim Watts wrote:

Have you tried:

"What colour knickers are you wearing" (to either sex of caller).

I couldn't be that vulgar. But in any case, the problem is not
terminating any particular call but preventing further ones: and since
no two callers ever seem to be the same, insulting or offending an
individual would presumably have little or no effect.

The recorded ones I get often have an option to press 5 if interested or
9 if not. Job to say if it works though. Also TPS:-(

--
Tim Lamb

On Wed, 06 Mar 2013 17:14:19 +0000, Tim Watts wrote:

On Wednesday 06 March 2013 16:33 Bert Coules wrote in uk.d-i-y:

I've had a recent spate of two distinct kinds of cold calls:

"Just a quick two minute survey" calls from a source which my phone's
display can only identify as "International - Out Of Area. These are
real people, possibly in India, and they ask for me by name. I've
tried various techniques to stop them, including telling the caller
that "Mr Coules died last week" and on one occasion actually going
through the entire survey (which took a deal longer than two minutes)
giving false but plausible answers to every question. The calls still
continue.

Have you tried:

"What colour knickers are you wearing" (to either sex of caller).

That's one I've been using for years. But sometimes, if they are male, I
ask them the colour of their boyfriend's knickers.



--
Use the BIG mirror service in the UK: http://www.mirrorservice.org
My posts (including this one) are my copyright and if @diy_forums on
Twitter wish to tweet them they can pay me £30 a post
*lightning surge protection* - a w_tom conductor

On 06/03/2013 16:33, Bert Coules wrote:
I've had a recent spate of two distinct kinds of cold calls:

"Just a quick two minute survey" calls from a source which my phone's
display can only identify as "International - Out Of Area. These are
real people, possibly in India, and they ask for me by name. I've tried
various techniques to stop them, including telling the caller that "Mr
Coules died last week" and on one occasion actually going through the
entire survey (which took a deal longer than two minutes) giving false
but plausible answers to every question. The calls still continue.

Automated calls. On answering there's a fractional pause then a
recorded voice.

If there's an answering machine switched on at the time of the call,
both real people and machines just hang up without saying a word.

All this despite my being registered with the TPS.

IIRC the TPS is voluntary and only applies to UK calls.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

The Medway Handyman wrote:

IIRC the TPS is voluntary and only applies to UK calls.

http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/contactfaq.php

"The Telephone Preference Service (TPS) is a central opt out
register whereby individuals can register their wish not to
receive unsolicited sales and marketing telephone calls. It is a
legal requirement that companies do not make such calls to
numbers registered on the TPS.
The original legislation was introduced in May 1999. It has
subsequently been updated and now the relevant legislation is the
Privacy and Electronic Communications (EC Directive) Regulations
2003.
It is unlawful to make direct marketing calls to individuals who
have indicated that they do not want to receive such calls. "

"Companies based abroad who call into the UK and who are making
calls on behalf of UK based companies, must comply with UK
regulations and screen their call lists against the Telephone
Preference Service (TPS) before making an unsolicited sales and
marketing call to a UK telephone number. We do make the file
available to overseas based companies under licence for the
purpose of suppression so they know whom not to telephone but,
many overseas companies who telephone the UK on their own account
from overseas do so to avoid legal and self regulatory
restrictions.
If you have received a live unsolicited direct marketing call
from overseas from a company that you can identify and whom you
think may be a UK company please log a complaint with TPS using
the online complaints form.
If is deemed by TPS that the unsolicited direct marketing call
that you received from overseas was from or made on behalf of a
company with presence in the UK we will investigate, and raise a
complaint in the UK against the offending company where it is
possible to do so. "

Chris
--
Chris J Dixon Nottingham UK


Plant amazing Acers.

In article ,
says...

snip lots more

It is unlawful to make direct marketing calls to individuals who
have indicated that they do not want to receive such calls. "


Which is why many of the cold calls I get (despite the TPS) claim to be
"a survey" or "reminding me I still haven't claimed..." etc. etc.

i.e. enough wriggle-room (in their view) to evade legislation.

I also still get cold calls from a newspaper to which I once subscribed.
They will no doubt claim that I am "a customer" and thus this is not a
cold call - despite the fact I cancelled that subscription over 5 years
ago.


--
Sam

In article , Bert
Coules scribeth thus
I've had a recent spate of two distinct kinds of cold calls:

"Just a quick two minute survey" calls from a source which my phone's
display can only identify as "International - Out Of Area. These are real
people, possibly in India, and they ask for me by name. I've tried various
techniques to stop them, including telling the caller that "Mr Coules died
last week" and on one occasion actually going through the entire survey
(which took a deal longer than two minutes) giving false but plausible
answers to every question. The calls still continue.

Still one of the best!..

Enjoy....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAb8vGSRBoE
--
Tony Sayer

On 7/03/2013 1:25 a.m., brass monkey wrote:
Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your name
... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?
Me: go on then
Her: Calls may be recorded for training etc etc
How do you pronounce your christian name?
Me: Hang on a sec, what are you selling, where are you going with this?
Her: You ****in' *******.
Me: LMFAO and thanked her very much.

Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is selling all
sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a bad
boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line and
sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.



I occasionally get a call (presumably automated) that is just silence
for a few seconds, then a woman's voice says "goodbye". The voice is
always exactly the same, i.e. it's recorded.

When people call talking about a survey, or mentioning the name of a
product or company, I just say "Not interested thanks" and hang up. I
actually feel a bit sorry for the people with these ****ty jobs. I
wouldn't have felt sorry for your caller, but then she never would have
got the chance to swear at me.

On 06/03/2013 20:00, Gib Bogle wrote:
On 7/03/2013 1:25 a.m., brass monkey wrote:
Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your
name
... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?
Me: go on then
Her: Calls may be recorded for training etc etc
How do you pronounce your christian name?
Me: Hang on a sec, what are you selling, where are you going with this?
Her: You ****in' *******.
Me: LMFAO and thanked her very much.

Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it
and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is
selling all
sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a bad
boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line and
sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.



I occasionally get a call (presumably automated) that is just silence
for a few seconds, then a woman's voice says "goodbye". The voice is
always exactly the same, i.e. it's recorded.

When people call talking about a survey, or mentioning the name of a
product or company, I just say "Not interested thanks" and hang up. I
actually feel a bit sorry for the people with these ****ty jobs. I
wouldn't have felt sorry for your caller, but then she never would have
got the chance to swear at me.

On the rare ocasions when I beat the fax machine to these calls, they
all seem to be for either someone who no longer lives here (Wink, wink)
or they get the stated choice of hanging up now or random answers to all
their questions.

I'm pleasantly surprised by the lack of clue by the callers that doesn't
get me put on to junk fax lists.

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

Chris J Dixon wrote:

If is deemed by TPS that the unsolicited direct marketing call
that you received from overseas was from or made on behalf of a
company with presence in the UK...

On the few occasions when I've listened to enough of one of the calls to
find out, it has always seemed to be on behalf of a range of different
companies - admittedly all UK-based, though. I've always assumed that this
is what enables the call to meet the "survey" work-around and escape the
legislation.

Bert

On Wednesday 06 March 2013 18:40 Bob Eager wrote in uk.d-i-y:


That's one I've been using for years. But sometimes, if they are male, I
ask them the colour of their boyfriend's knickers.

LMAO
--
Tim Watts Personal Blog: http://squiddy.blog.dionic.net/

http://www.sensorly.com/ Crowd mapping of 2G/3G/4G mobile signal coverage

Reading this on the web? See:
http://wiki.diyfaq.org.uk/index.php?title=Usenet

On 7/03/2013 9:16 a.m., John Williamson wrote:
On 06/03/2013 20:00, Gib Bogle wrote:
On 7/03/2013 1:25 a.m., brass monkey wrote:
Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your
name
... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?
Me: go on then
Her: Calls may be recorded for training etc etc
How do you pronounce your christian name?
Me: Hang on a sec, what are you selling, where are you going with this?
Her: You ****in' *******.
Me: LMFAO and thanked her very much.

Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it
and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is
selling all
sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a
bad
boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line and
sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.



I occasionally get a call (presumably automated) that is just silence
for a few seconds, then a woman's voice says "goodbye". The voice is
always exactly the same, i.e. it's recorded.

When people call talking about a survey, or mentioning the name of a
product or company, I just say "Not interested thanks" and hang up. I
actually feel a bit sorry for the people with these ****ty jobs. I
wouldn't have felt sorry for your caller, but then she never would have
got the chance to swear at me.

On the rare ocasions when I beat the fax machine to these calls, they
all seem to be for either someone who no longer lives here (Wink, wink)
or they get the stated choice of hanging up now or random answers to all
their questions.

I'm pleasantly surprised by the lack of clue by the callers that doesn't
get me put on to junk fax lists.


My wife, who lies convincingly, sometimes tell them that the person they
ask for died recently. She spins a good story - I do not have the
patience for this.

On Wed, 06 Mar 2013 20:16:15 +0000, John Williamson wrote:

On the rare ocasions when I beat the fax machine to these calls, they
all seem to be for either someone who no longer lives here (Wink, wink)
or they get the stated choice of hanging up now or random answers to all
their questions.

If they call here, and don't give caller ID:

(tri-tone) [knocks off automated stuff]
(pause)
"If you are a telemarketer, press 1."
"If you are conducting a survey, press 2."
"If we have won a holiday, press 3."
.....
If they press 1:
"All members of the household are currentlt assisting other telemarketers.
Please hold; you are in a queue...."
(etc.)




--
Use the BIG mirror service in the UK: http://www.mirrorservice.org
My posts (including this one) are my copyright and if @diy_forums on
Twitter wish to tweet them they can pay me £30 a post
*lightning surge protection* - a w_tom conductor

On 06/03/2013 19:30, Sam Plusnet wrote:
In article ,
says...

snip lots more

It is unlawful to make direct marketing calls to individuals who
have indicated that they do not want to receive such calls. "


Which is why many of the cold calls I get (despite the TPS) claim to be
"a survey" or "reminding me I still haven't claimed..." etc. etc.

i.e. enough wriggle-room (in their view) to evade legislation.

I also still get cold calls from a newspaper to which I once subscribed.
They will no doubt claim that I am "a customer" and thus this is not a
cold call - despite the fact I cancelled that subscription over 5 years
ago.

They would be correct in their claim. However, I am pretty sure that if
you request to be removed from their database and after allowing a
reasonable period (I think 3 weeks has been mentioned), any further
calls are just as illegal as if you had never been a customer.

SteveW

Gib Bogle wrote
brass monkey wrote

Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your
name
... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?
Me: go on then
Her: Calls may be recorded for training etc etc
How do you pronounce your christian name?
Me: Hang on a sec, what are you selling, where are you going with this?
Her: You ****in' *******.
Me: LMFAO and thanked her very much.

Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it
and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is selling
all
sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a bad
boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line and
sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.

I occasionally get a call (presumably automated) that is just silence for
a few seconds, then a woman's voice says "goodbye". The voice is always
exactly the same, i.e. it's recorded.

Those are just automated diallers that find they don't have a monkey
available to connect the call to when you pick up the phone.

When people call talking about a survey, or mentioning the name of product
or company, I just say "Not interested thanks" and hang up.

I prefer to not have to even pick up the phone to do that.

I actually feel a bit sorry for the people with these ****ty jobs.

I don't. Don't see why I should have my time wasted by the
arseholes that employ them, particularly those I have told
previously that I am not interested in what they are flogging.

I wouldn't have felt sorry for your caller, but then she never would have
got the chance to swear at me.

On 06/03/2013 13:25, GB wrote:
Just say: "Can you hold on a minute...." and get on with something else.
Put the phone back 5 mins later, or keep coming back to them to get them
to hold on longer.

I just tell them that they're through to the local police fraud
department and while we're tracing the call I need their name and
contact details. They either give the details or hang up...

--
F

On Wednesday, 6 March 2013 20:20:03 UTC, Bert Coules wrote:
Chris J Dixon wrote:



If is deemed by TPS that the unsolicited direct marketing call

that you received from overseas was from or made on behalf of a

company with presence in the UK...



On the few occasions when I've listened to enough of one of the calls to

find out, it has always seemed to be on behalf of a range of different

companies - admittedly all UK-based, though. I've always assumed that this

is what enables the call to meet the "survey" work-around and escape the

legislation.



Bert

IME answering a "survey" usually results in a load of calls from people who sponsored it and with whom you arguably now have a relationship established by answering the survey.

Silent calls can be reported at https://stakeholders.ofcom.org.uk/te.../silent-calls/ and recorded calls at http://www.ico.gov.uk/for_the_public...marketing.aspx If enough people do this, it just might result in prosecutions -- potentially a lot more satisfying than just winding up the callers.

Chris

Still one of the best!..

Listening to that is something of a guilty pleasure, given that the joke is
at the expense of someone who's only following a script in order to keep an
almost certainly badly-paid job, but yes, it is very funny.

Thanks for the link.

Bert

Bert Coules wrote:

Tim Watts wrote:

Have you tried:

"What colour knickers are you wearing" (to either sex of caller).

I couldn't be that vulgar.

Practice makes perfect.

But in any case, the problem is not terminating
any particular call but preventing further ones: and since no two callers
ever seem to be the same, insulting or offending an individual would
presumably have little or no effect.

Bert


--
When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by
this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
Jonathan Swift: Thoughts on Various Subjects, Moral and Diverting

In article om,
brass monkey wrote:
Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your name
... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?

I then ask for their billing details so I can charge them for the
information they want. After all, they're not doing it for free...

--
*Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On Wed, 06 Mar 2013 23:49:56 +0000, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

In article om,
brass monkey wrote:
Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your
name ... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be Her: Can I ask a few questions?

I then ask for their billing details so I can charge them for the
information they want. After all, they're not doing it for free...

That's what option 2 on my menu says...



--
Use the BIG mirror service in the UK: http://www.mirrorservice.org
My posts (including this one) are my copyright and if @diy_forums on
Twitter wish to tweet them they can pay me £30 a post
*lightning surge protection* - a w_tom conductor

"Bob Eager" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 06 Mar 2013 20:16:15 +0000, John Williamson wrote:

On the rare ocasions when I beat the fax machine to these calls, they
all seem to be for either someone who no longer lives here (Wink, wink)
or they get the stated choice of hanging up now or random answers to all
their questions.

If they call here, and don't give caller ID:

(tri-tone) [knocks off automated stuff]
(pause)
"If you are a telemarketer, press 1."
"If you are conducting a survey, press 2."
"If we have won a holiday, press 3."
....
If they press 1:
"All members of the household are currentlt assisting other telemarketers.
Please hold; you are in a queue...."
(etc.)

How do you do this, Bob? Is it a function of the fax machine?

On Thu, 07 Mar 2013 00:41:17 +0000, brass monkey wrote:

"Bob Eager" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 06 Mar 2013 20:16:15 +0000, John Williamson wrote:

On the rare ocasions when I beat the fax machine to these calls, they
all seem to be for either someone who no longer lives here (Wink,
wink) or they get the stated choice of hanging up now or random
answers to all their questions.

If they call here, and don't give caller ID:

(tri-tone) [knocks off automated stuff]
(pause)
"If you are a telemarketer, press 1."
"If you are conducting a survey, press 2."
"If we have won a holiday, press 3."
....
If they press 1:
"All members of the household are currentlt assisting other
telemarketers.
Please hold; you are in a queue...."
(etc.)

How do you do this, Bob? Is it a function of the fax machine?

Asterisk box.



--
Use the BIG mirror service in the UK: http://www.mirrorservice.org
My posts (including this one) are my copyright and if @diy_forums on
Twitter wish to tweet them they can pay me £30 a post
*lightning surge protection* - a w_tom conductor

Well what is this all about automated calls saying you need to insure your
wheelchair? or you have outstanding monies owed to you from your recent
industrial injury, or you really need one of our burglar alarms.

A wake up call dear automated person, if you really are interested in the
dubious practice of selling via cold calling employ a uk person and not some
poor oriental or just a recording with a text phone contact at the end.
Better still get a copy of the tps list and abide by it.
Brian

--
Brian Gaff....Note, this account does not accept Bcc: email.
graphics are great, but the blind can't hear them
Email:
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________


"brass monkey" wrote in message
eb.com...
Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your
name ... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?
Me: go on then
Her: Calls may be recorded for training etc etc
How do you pronounce your christian name?
Me: Hang on a sec, what are you selling, where are you going with this?
Her: You ****in' *******.
Me: LMFAO and thanked her very much.

Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is selling
all sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a
bad boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line
and sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.

The problem with this type of door caller is that there are in fact some
genuine ones, but they are getting few and far between due to all the dodgy
ones clouding peoples minds.
Such is life.

Brian

--
Brian Gaff....Note, this account does not accept Bcc: email.
graphics are great, but the blind can't hear them
Email:
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________


"DerekG" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 6 Mar 2013 12:25:00 -0000, "brass monkey" wrote:


Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is selling
all
sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a bad
boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line and
sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.


Might I suggest you try the following with grateful thanks to "Paul C
Dickie" ...

"Come the next election, I'm going to hang some garlic in the porch
lest Gordon mac ****e-Features tries canvassing despite the sign
which reads:

"The following are NOT welcome: Hawkers, salesmen, peddlers, box-
wallahs, vagrants, mendicants, proselytisers for religion or politics,
canvassers of any description whatsoever, putative fishmongers,
antique dealers 'on the knock', vendors of animal droppings or folk
who are 'just doing some work up the road'. If you fit into one or
more of those categories, just bugger off." "

DerekG

Oh and I do not have a wheelchair, OK? Just cos some dweeb has decantted me
from a list of disabled people does not mean I'm in a wheelchair. what is
wrong with people?

Brian

--
Brian Gaff....Note, this account does not accept Bcc: email.
graphics are great, but the blind can't hear them
Email:
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________


"brass monkey" wrote in message
eb.com...
Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your
name ... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?
Me: go on then
Her: Calls may be recorded for training etc etc
How do you pronounce your christian name?
Me: Hang on a sec, what are you selling, where are you going with this?
Her: You ****in' *******.
Me: LMFAO and thanked her very much.

Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is selling
all sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a
bad boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line
and sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.

"Bob Eager" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 07 Mar 2013 00:41:17 +0000, brass monkey wrote:

"Bob Eager" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 06 Mar 2013 20:16:15 +0000, John Williamson wrote:

On the rare ocasions when I beat the fax machine to these calls, they
all seem to be for either someone who no longer lives here (Wink,
wink) or they get the stated choice of hanging up now or random
answers to all their questions.

If they call here, and don't give caller ID:

(tri-tone) [knocks off automated stuff]
(pause)
"If you are a telemarketer, press 1."
"If you are conducting a survey, press 2."
"If we have won a holiday, press 3."
....
If they press 1:
"All members of the household are currentlt assisting other
telemarketers.
Please hold; you are in a queue...."
(etc.)

How do you do this, Bob? Is it a function of the fax machine?

Asterisk box.

:thumbs: interesting.

On Thu, 07 Mar 2013 09:00:12 +1300, Gib Bogle
wrote:

When people call talking about a survey, or mentioning the name of a
product or company, I just say "Not interested thanks" and hang up. I
actually feel a bit sorry for the people with these ****ty jobs. I
wouldn't have felt sorry for your caller, but then she never would have
got the chance to swear at me.

From yesterday:
'Is that Mr Johnson? We're doing a short 60 second life-style survey
of the people in the Parkside Close area.'
'It's going to be very short because I'm putting the phone down now.'

(A double glazing company has been bothering me for some time with a
ficticious story about me having asked it to call because I had
previously said that I was thinking about having two windows replaced,
unlikely because my house has been fully double glazed for around 20
years. I recently wrote to the company saying that if it happened
again I would bill it for £100 for wasting my time and that I would
take action if it didn't pay such an invoice. I hope the amount has
forced it to remove my name from its lists; if it hasn't it's enough
to make it worth my while to pursue.)

On 06/03/2013 13:05, DerekG wrote:
'just doing some work up the road'


best I had was ... "would you loike a little bit of der back stuff put
down n ter drive?"
No Thnx

Would you like to have your hedges cut
no Thnx

Would you have any antiques you want to sell?
No Thnx...
at which point Pikey Tarmaccadm technician walked across drive to look
into garden, my dogs in outside run launched themselves at the run fence ...

"Jeeesuz Mary Muvver of God .... Oi nearly shat myself, R dey dangerous
animals, are dey safe ?

Nope .. and they get very agitated with strangers if we are not
around .... (not seen him again)

In message , Bert
Coules writes
I've had a recent spate of two distinct kinds of cold calls:

"Just a quick two minute survey" calls from a source which my phone's
display can only identify as "International - Out Of Area. These are
real people, possibly in India, and they ask for me by name. I've
tried various techniques to stop them, including telling the caller
that "Mr Coules died last week" and on one occasion actually going
through the entire survey (which took a deal longer than two minutes)
giving false but plausible answers to every question. The calls still
continue.

Automated calls. On answering there's a fractional pause then a
recorded voice.

If there's an answering machine switched on at the time of the call,
both real people and machines just hang up without saying a word.

All this despite my being registered with the TPS.


Bert

TPS has absolutely no force outside the Uk - and very little inside.
--
bert

"brass monkey" wrote in message
eb.com...
Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your
name ... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?
Me: go on then
Her: Calls may be recorded for training etc etc
How do you pronounce your christian name?
Me: Hang on a sec, what are you selling, where are you going with this?
Her: You ****in' *******.
Me: LMFAO and thanked her very much.

snip

Easy.
Reply with "Go **** yourself" or if the caller is Asian try very hard to be
a racist and be abusive.
You will get a red mark on your phone number.
I've worked as a contractor in call centers and have seen it happen.

On Thu, 7 Mar 2013 18:35:10 -0000, "Mr Pounder"
wrote:


"brass monkey" wrote in message
web.com...
Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your
name ... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?
Me: go on then
Her: Calls may be recorded for training etc etc
How do you pronounce your christian name?
Me: Hang on a sec, what are you selling, where are you going with this?
Her: You ****in' *******.
Me: LMFAO and thanked her very much.

snip

Easy.
Reply with "Go **** yourself" or if the caller is Asian try very hard to be
a racist and be abusive.
You will get a red mark on your phone number.
I've worked as a contractor in call centers and have seen it happen.

I've heard people claim that you get *more* calls if you do this. I
don't answer withheld/unavailable calls now. They're mostly PPI scams
or someone from "Microsoft" rather than marketing anyway.
--
(\__/) M.
(='.'=) If a man stands in a forest and no woman is around
(")_(") is he still wrong?

On Mar 6, 8:43*pm, Gib Bogle wrote:
On 7/03/2013 9:16 a.m., John Williamson wrote:





On 06/03/2013 20:00, Gib Bogle wrote:
On 7/03/2013 1:25 a.m., brass monkey wrote:
Just had a call from 06041623 -
My name is garble (female) phoning on behalf of garble garble. Is your
name
... ... of this address .... .....
Me: It might be
Her: Can I ask a few questions?
Me: go on then
Her: Calls may be recorded for training etc etc
How do you pronounce your christian name?
Me: Hang on a sec, what are you selling, where are you going with this?
Her: You ****in' *******.
Me: LMFAO and thanked her very much.

Half an hour earlier we had some hawker at the door, wifey answered it
and
was chatting for quite a while. She came in and said this guy is
selling all
sorts of stuff like this chamois leather for £15, he says he's been a
bad
boy but is trying to change his life etc etc, yes, I know, hook line and
sinker. So I kindly asked him to sling his hook.
Geeeeeeeeez.

I occasionally get a call (presumably automated) that is just silence
for a few seconds, then a woman's voice says "goodbye". The voice is
always exactly the same, i.e. it's recorded.

When people call talking about a survey, or mentioning the name of a
product or company, I just say "Not interested thanks" and hang up. I
actually feel a bit sorry for the people with these ****ty jobs. I
wouldn't have felt sorry for your caller, but then she never would have
got the chance to swear at me.

On the rare ocasions when I beat the fax machine to these calls, they
all seem to be for either someone who no longer lives here (Wink, wink)
or they get the stated choice of hanging up now or random answers to all
their questions.

I'm pleasantly surprised by the lack of clue by the callers that doesn't
get me put on to junk fax lists.

My wife, who lies convincingly, sometimes tell them that the person they
ask for died recently. *She spins a good story - I do not have the
patience for this.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Me neither. My mum did the "put the phone down and walk away" thing
once, but I just say "sorry, not interested", and hang up. Same reply
to door-steppers.

I once answered the door and there was a young guy whose opening line
was "I'm here to test-drive the Alfa".

"But it's not for sale", I replied, slightly bewildered.

"OK, I'm just joking, I'm collecting on behalf of XYZ" he said,
starting to realise what turn events had just taken.

I think he realised by the look on my face, shortly before the door
blocked it from his view , that he wasn't going to have much luck.

Thing was, IIRC, he was collecting for something I actually might have
contributed to, under other circumstances. Hey-ho.

--
Halmyre