Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

So, there I was fitting a 9 arm chandelier for a regular customer, this one;
http://tinyurl.com/59k2le (the chandelier, not the customer).

Large plaster ceiling rose to be fitted as well.

Job was on the landing, easy access to the other side of the ceiling via the
loft. Couple of 4" screws through the hook bracket & the rose, right into a
joist - good strong fix.

One of those light fittings where you hang it on a hook & slide up a cover
to conceal it.

Hung the chandelier on the hook, poked the cable through a hole in the rose.
went up into the loft to wire up.

Cable coming through the hole wasn't 'quite' long enough to reach the JB, so
knowing there was still a bit of slack I pulled the cable up a bit.

That wasn't the problem.

Letting go of the cable was. It started to disappear back through the hole.
I'd inadvertently lifted the chandelier off the hook.

An almighty crash followed, then a series of crashes. They were the sounds
of the chandelier hitting the banisters, then bouncing down the stairs.

Came down the loft ladder like lightning to find a pile of mangled
chandelier & glass droplets.

No choice but to buy the lady a new one, even with a 15% voucher it was £85!

Not a good day today :-(



--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

The Medway Handyman wrote:
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

So, there I was fitting a 9 arm chandelier for a regular customer, this one;
http://tinyurl.com/59k2le (the chandelier, not the customer).

Large plaster ceiling rose to be fitted as well.

Job was on the landing, easy access to the other side of the ceiling via the
loft. Couple of 4" screws through the hook bracket & the rose, right into a
joist - good strong fix.

One of those light fittings where you hang it on a hook & slide up a cover
to conceal it.

Hung the chandelier on the hook, poked the cable through a hole in the rose.
went up into the loft to wire up.

Cable coming through the hole wasn't 'quite' long enough to reach the JB, so
knowing there was still a bit of slack I pulled the cable up a bit.

That wasn't the problem.

Letting go of the cable was. It started to disappear back through the hole.
I'd inadvertently lifted the chandelier off the hook.

An almighty crash followed, then a series of crashes. They were the sounds
of the chandelier hitting the banisters, then bouncing down the stairs.

Came down the loft ladder like lightning to find a pile of mangled
chandelier & glass droplets.

No choice but to buy the lady a new one, even with a 15% voucher it was �85!

Not a good day today :-(



As I started reading I got images of Catherine the Great crossed with
the gathering of the clansmen:

The village drunk, he was there,
Acting very loud,
Hanging from the chandelier,
And ****ing on the crowd.

Then you started screwing and sliding, poking and pulling, and coming
through the hole.

Where did you get this filth?

--
Rod

Hypothyroidism is a seriously debilitating condition with an insidious
onset.
Although common it frequently goes undiagnosed.
www.thyromind.info www.thyroiduk.org www.altsupportthyroid.org

The Medway Handyman wrote:

Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

Indeed...


Cable coming through the hole wasn't 'quite' long enough to reach the JB, so
knowing there was still a bit of slack I pulled the cable up a bit.

That wasn't the problem.

Letting go of the cable was. It started to disappear back through the hole.
I'd inadvertently lifted the chandelier off the hook.

An almighty crash followed, then a series of crashes. They were the sounds
of the chandelier hitting the banisters, then bouncing down the stairs.

I wonder who's face had the better expression? ;-)

--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a poor
workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!

The Medway Handyman wrote:
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

So, there I was fitting a 9 arm chandelier for a regular customer, this one;
http://tinyurl.com/59k2le (the chandelier, not the customer).

Large plaster ceiling rose to be fitted as well.

Job was on the landing, easy access to the other side of the ceiling via the
loft. Couple of 4" screws through the hook bracket & the rose, right into a
joist - good strong fix.

One of those light fittings where you hang it on a hook & slide up a cover
to conceal it.

Hung the chandelier on the hook, poked the cable through a hole in the rose.
went up into the loft to wire up.

Cable coming through the hole wasn't 'quite' long enough to reach the JB, so
knowing there was still a bit of slack I pulled the cable up a bit.

That wasn't the problem.

Letting go of the cable was. It started to disappear back through the hole.
I'd inadvertently lifted the chandelier off the hook.

An almighty crash followed, then a series of crashes. They were the sounds
of the chandelier hitting the banisters, then bouncing down the stairs.

Came down the loft ladder like lightning to find a pile of mangled
chandelier & glass droplets.

No choice but to buy the lady a new one, even with a 15% voucher it was £85!

Not a good day today :-(

You dipstick!

"Appollo" wrote in message
...

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a poor
workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!


So speaks Mr Perfect who has never had an accident or made a mistake.

I count among my mistakes and accidents

1) Reversing over a customers dog that was asleep behind my van
2) Locking a customer out of the house (their fault for having stupid locks)
3) Getting a customer pregnant
4) Breaking a vase that cost £100

**** happens

Adam

The Medway Handyman wrote:

Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

No choice but to buy the lady a new one, even with a 15% voucher it was £85!

Not a good day today :-(

Tuesday was my dire day.
Doing a bathroom, took the rad off to fit the tiles, put the rad back
on, opened the valves, water came through fine.
Turn on boiler to check - boiler dead.
Hmm, pump was noisy - air in system, check vent on boiler, whcih was
blocked, clear it, but still no water coming through the boiler. Think
about things, looked in the tank - easily 2 inch of silt/sludge in
there. Check flow from header tank, by cutting into pipe above boiler -
nothing.
OK, blocked feed pipe, took it apart, got a pile of crap out of it,
****e, this is not looking good at 4pm.
Clear tank, check flow - good flow at 6" above the boiler, so reconnect.
Nothing.
Think for ages, hum and arr about air locks etc.
Have to call out CORGI man at 6pm.
It is a regular occurence he says, system hasnt been touched for years,
the moment any new water is needed, all the silt will enter the boiler
piping, and block at a T joint.
So he dismantles the likely spot, and sure enough the blockage is
solid.Cleared out, reassembled, water is still only trickling through.
Another hour of taking apart unions etc, and he gives up, boiler needs
to be stripped down to clear all the pipes out.
He only wanted £80, which I thought was rather good, so I gave him £100.
He came back on Wednesday to clear the pipes, took him 2 hours, now he
has the job of cleaning the whole system - this is in a house where she
has an annual service contract - the chap said "this boiler hasnt been
serviced for years" - he showed me the outer seal not sealing, black
soot around the outside - fumes escaping thorugh the unsealed flue, and
obviously no hint of inhibitor or flushing of system for years.

Alan.
--
To reply by e-mail, change the ' + ' to 'plus'.

The Medway Handyman wrote:
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?
snip

Not a good day today :-(

Thanks for sharing though. ;-)

Tim

In article ,
"The Medway Handyman" writes:
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

It's my favourate scene.

Letting go of the cable was. It started to disappear back through the hole.
I'd inadvertently lifted the chandelier off the hook.

An almighty crash followed, then a series of crashes. They were the sounds
of the chandelier hitting the banisters, then bouncing down the stairs.

Came down the loft ladder like lightning to find a pile of mangled
chandelier & glass droplets.

No choice but to buy the lady a new one, even with a 15% voucher it was £85!

Not a good day today :-(

Thanks for that -- made my day.

Was the lady of the house in when this happened?

--
Andrew Gabriel
[email address is not usable -- followup in the newsgroup]

On Fri, 28 Nov 2008 19:55:57 GMT, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:

Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

Extremely funny that one .

Could have been worse .She could have been under it when you let go
...!!!

On Fri, 28 Nov 2008 19:55:57 GMT
"The Medway Handyman" wrote:

Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?
snip
No choice but to buy the lady a new one, even with a 15% voucher it was £85!

Not a good day today :-(




Ah, well, confession is good for the soul. You may not be £85 richer,
but think of the heavenly discount vouchers.

God Bless,
R.

On Fri, 28 Nov 2008 19:55:57 GMT, The Medway Handyman wrote:

Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

snip

No choice but to buy the lady a new one, even with a 15% voucher it was £85!

Not a good day today :-(

Very brave of you to share that misfortune with us, and it did make Oi
chuckle!

--
The Wanderer

I have become more optimistic.
I now believe that things can get worse.

ARWadsworth wrote:

I count among my mistakes and accidents

1) Reversing over a customers dog that was asleep behind my van
2) Locking a customer out of the house (their fault for having stupid locks)
3) Getting a customer pregnant

Would that before or after you ran over her dog and locked her out?

4) Breaking a vase that cost £100

**** happens

On Fri, 28 Nov 2008 19:55:57 GMT, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:

Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?


Thanks for sharing!

A few months ago I was putting my daughter's Ikea wardrobe together.
Their PAX range, the sides are over 7ft high and it's all chipboard.
I'd built one secton on the floor, without problem, but this one was
twice as wide.
I should have built it vertically but decided to do it the same way as
before BUT (crucially) I had to rotate it 90 degrees due to lack of
space.
I assembled the base, top and sides BUT didn't put on the backing
board - no room. I now had a rectangle of wood about 7ft by 3ft with
NO bracing (the backing board) and stupidly tried to lift one end off
the floor.

My daughter was holding the other end saying "I don't think this is a
good idea Dad" and, sure enough, the rectangle changed into a
parallelogram. The top end I was lifting broke from its fixings and
dropped onto the lower piece.
It broke, very neatly, exactly half way.

So a 20 miles each way trip and £50 later I did it the right way.

I thought of trying to re-create the event for You've been Framed
(I've now got a spare side of a wardrobe) so I'd come out ahead but
the family aren't interested!
Any ideas what to do with one side of a wardrobe?

ARWadsworth wrote:
"Appollo" wrote in message
...

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with
the chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a
poor workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!


So speaks Mr Perfect who has never had an accident or made a mistake.

I count among my mistakes and accidents

1) Reversing over a customers dog that was asleep behind my van
2) Locking a customer out of the house (their fault for having stupid
locks)
3) Getting a customer pregnant
4) Breaking a vase that cost £100

Didn't you nail a cat under the floorboards a while ago?

:-)


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

The Medway Handyman wrote:
ARWadsworth wrote:
"Appollo" wrote in message
...
"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with
the chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a
poor workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!

So speaks Mr Perfect who has never had an accident or made a mistake.

I count among my mistakes and accidents

1) Reversing over a customers dog that was asleep behind my van
2) Locking a customer out of the house (their fault for having stupid
locks)
3) Getting a customer pregnant
4) Breaking a vase that cost £100

Didn't you nail a cat under the floorboards a while ago?

:-)


So that was the second mistake with a pussy!

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
om...
ARWadsworth wrote:
"Appollo" wrote in message
...

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with
the chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a
poor workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!


So speaks Mr Perfect who has never had an accident or made a mistake.

I count among my mistakes and accidents

1) Reversing over a customers dog that was asleep behind my van
2) Locking a customer out of the house (their fault for having stupid
locks)
3) Getting a customer pregnant
4) Breaking a vase that cost £100

Didn't you nail a cat under the floorboards a while ago?

:-)

That was not one the customers cats. It was the neighbours cat. That cat
should not have been there. I counted all the customers cats when I replaced
the floorboards

Adam

The Medway Handyman wrote:
ARWadsworth wrote:
"Appollo" wrote in message
...
"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with
the chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a
poor workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!

So speaks Mr Perfect who has never had an accident or made a mistake.

I count among my mistakes and accidents

1) Reversing over a customers dog that was asleep behind my van
2) Locking a customer out of the house (their fault for having stupid
locks)
3) Getting a customer pregnant
4) Breaking a vase that cost £100

Didn't you nail a cat under the floorboards a while ago?

I would be more interested in No 3 Getting a customer pregnant.

Dave

Huge wrote:
On 2008-11-28, Appollo wrote:

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with
the chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a
poor workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!

FOAD, arsewipe.

I was going to reply in a similar vein, you beat me to it. Eloquently put.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

Appollo wrote:
"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with
the chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a poor
workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!

Then again, you are obviously a complete & utter ****wit.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

On Sun, 30 Nov 2008 00:15:03 GMT, The Medway Handyman wrote:

Appollo wrote:
"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with
the chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a poor
workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!

Then again, you are obviously a complete & utter ****wit.

A word of advice if I might be so bold.

You posted a reply to Huge's post just 2 or 3 minutes before this post.
That put your position very clearly, and left you with the moral high
ground.

There are times you should stop and ask yourself 'Am I really adding
anything to the thread?' before you hit the send button.

--
The Wanderer

The future isn't what it used to be.

The Wanderer wrote:
On Sun, 30 Nov 2008 00:15:03 GMT, The Medway Handyman wrote:

Appollo wrote:
"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with
the chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a
poor workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!

Then again, you are obviously a complete & utter ****wit.

A word of advice if I might be so bold.

You may.

You posted a reply to Huge's post just 2 or 3 minutes before this
post. That put your position very clearly, and left you with the
moral high ground.

There are times you should stop and ask yourself 'Am I really adding
anything to the thread?' before you hit the send button.

Point taken.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

On Sat, 29 Nov 2008 23:17:13 +0000, Dave wrote:

The Medway Handyman wrote:
ARWadsworth wrote:

I count among my mistakes and accidents

1) Reversing over a customers dog that was asleep behind my van 2)
Locking a customer out of the house (their fault for having stupid
locks)
3) Getting a customer pregnant
4) Breaking a vase that cost £100

Didn't you nail a cat under the floorboards a while ago?

I would be more interested in No 3 Getting a customer pregnant.


Is that an hourly rate or, like, by the job?

In message , PCPaul
writes
On Sat, 29 Nov 2008 23:17:13 +0000, Dave wrote:

The Medway Handyman wrote:
ARWadsworth wrote:

I count among my mistakes and accidents

1) Reversing over a customers dog that was asleep behind my van 2)
Locking a customer out of the house (their fault for having stupid
locks)
3) Getting a customer pregnant
4) Breaking a vase that cost £100

Didn't you nail a cat under the floorboards a while ago?

I would be more interested in No 3 Getting a customer pregnant.


Is that an hourly rate or, like, by the job?

certainly a case of bang for the buck


--
geoff

PCPaul wrote:
On Sat, 29 Nov 2008 23:17:13 +0000, Dave wrote:

The Medway Handyman wrote:
ARWadsworth wrote:

I count among my mistakes and accidents

1) Reversing over a customers dog that was asleep behind my van 2)
Locking a customer out of the house (their fault for having stupid
locks)
3) Getting a customer pregnant
4) Breaking a vase that cost £100
Didn't you nail a cat under the floorboards a while ago?
I would be more interested in No 3 Getting a customer pregnant.


Is that an hourly rate or, like, by the job?

I put back a dead cat we found in some 100 year old thatch, in some new
thatch.

I built a bottle of PVA glue into a stud wall once.

I think half my chimney stack is still exuding the brickies urine..and i
wouldn't mind betting there isn't a turd filled cavity up there as well.

I think the prize goes to the prat who use 6" nails to nail chipboard to
expensive oak doorframes to 'protect them from wheelbarrow damage'

The most worrying thing was that he appeared not to understand what he
had done wrong..either taking the **** to an extraordinary level, or
simply too thick to be useful. He went the next day.

ARWadsworth wrote:
"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
om...
ARWadsworth wrote:
"Appollo" wrote in message
...
"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with
the chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a
poor workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!

So speaks Mr Perfect who has never had an accident or made a mistake.

I count among my mistakes and accidents

1) Reversing over a customers dog that was asleep behind my van
2) Locking a customer out of the house (their fault for having stupid
locks)
3) Getting a customer pregnant
4) Breaking a vase that cost £100
Didn't you nail a cat under the floorboards a while ago?

That was not one the customers cats. It was the neighbours cat. That cat
should not have been there. I counted all the customers cats when I replaced
the floorboards

No, sorry, I'm afraid nailing a cat under the floor still counts. Any
cat, regardless of whether it's the owner's.

So make that no. 5.

David

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "The Medway Handyman"
saying something like:

Letting go of the cable was. It started to disappear back through the hole.
I'd inadvertently lifted the chandelier off the hook.

An almighty crash followed, then a series of crashes. They were the sounds
of the chandelier hitting the banisters, then bouncing down the stairs.

Fark.
LOL!

Owain wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Cable coming through the hole wasn't 'quite' long enough to reach
the JB,

Couldn't you argue that was a fault with the product or the
instructions and get a replacement free from B&Q

Actually its not a brilliant design. It would only take a 6-8mm lift & a 4
mm sideways movement to dislodge it - easily done whilst cleaning. The
replacement has a cable tie holding the eye securely to an offset in the
clip - it ain't not going anywhere.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

"Lobster" wrote in message
...
ARWadsworth wrote:
"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message
om...
ARWadsworth wrote:
"Appollo" wrote in message
...
"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with
the chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a
poor workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!

So speaks Mr Perfect who has never had an accident or made a mistake.

I count among my mistakes and accidents

1) Reversing over a customers dog that was asleep behind my van
2) Locking a customer out of the house (their fault for having stupid
locks)
3) Getting a customer pregnant
4) Breaking a vase that cost £100
Didn't you nail a cat under the floorboards a while ago?

That was not one the customers cats. It was the neighbours cat. That cat
should not have been there. I counted all the customers cats when I
replaced
the floorboards

No, sorry, I'm afraid nailing a cat under the floor still counts. Any
cat, regardless of whether it's the owner's.

So make that no. 5.

David


No 6

I went into a customers house to give a quote and changed from my work boots
to my house shoes on the doorstep (I have a pair of trainers in the van that
I use when I go into a customers house). I stood in some dog **** that was
inside the house and I smeared it all up the stairs carpet.

I was pleased not to get the job.


Adam

On Fri, 28 Nov 2008 20:58:06 +0000, Appollo wrote:

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a poor
workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!

Bad stuff happens, even to people who are careful and thoughtful.
You may be one of those people who think that changes can be made without
there ever being a chance of something going wrong.


--
Ed Sirett - Property maintainer and registered gas fitter.
The FAQ for uk.diy is at http://www.diyfaq.org.uk
Gas fitting FAQ http://www.makewrite.demon.co.uk/GasFitting.html
Sealed CH FAQ http://www.makewrite.demon.co.uk/SealedCH.html
Choosing a Boiler FAQ http://www.makewrite.demon.co.uk/BoilerChoice.html

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

So, there I was fitting a 9 arm chandelier for a regular customer, this
one;
http://tinyurl.com/59k2le (the chandelier, not the customer).

Large plaster ceiling rose to be fitted as well.

Job was on the landing, easy access to the other side of the ceiling via
the
loft. Couple of 4" screws through the hook bracket & the rose, right into
a
joist - good strong fix.

One of those light fittings where you hang it on a hook & slide up a cover
to conceal it.

Hung the chandelier on the hook, poked the cable through a hole in the
rose.
went up into the loft to wire up.

Cable coming through the hole wasn't 'quite' long enough to reach the JB,
so
knowing there was still a bit of slack I pulled the cable up a bit.

That wasn't the problem.

Letting go of the cable was. It started to disappear back through the
hole.
I'd inadvertently lifted the chandelier off the hook.

An almighty crash followed, then a series of crashes. They were the
sounds
of the chandelier hitting the banisters, then bouncing down the stairs.

Came down the loft ladder like lightning to find a pile of mangled
chandelier & glass droplets.

No choice but to buy the lady a new one, even with a 15% voucher it was
£85!

Not a good day today :-(

Dave - The Medway Handyman


Brace yourself Rodney !!!!! ROFL. :-)

A lot of people ask why we pay for liability insurance. Here's why. I was
in a mansion house (a very old and very expensive family seat, mansion
house), and I set fire to a rug with the sparks from an angle grinder.

Everything else near to where I was working was covered with boards and
things, to protect them. But haste to finish up and get home caused me to
just kick back the rug before cutting into a metal plate. Not knowing the
rug had just crumpled up behind me when I kicked it, then slid back down
flat to the floor with the vibration of the cutting, it caught fire along
one edge, and only alerted me when the smoke grew to thick to see through.

You think you've thought of everything before you start these jobs, but
there is always something you overlook. Anyway, 3000 quid in compensation
for an antique foreign rug, soon made me realise that things like this can
happen. My next purchase wasn't a fire extinguisher. Oh no. It was a
liability insurance policy with Standard Life. :-)

It may cost a few hundred pounds a years, but when they say they'll cover
you up to the value of 3 million pounds. I think it works out cheaper than
any other alternative.

Does the new chandelier look nice?

"Ed Sirett" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 28 Nov 2008 20:58:06 +0000, Appollo wrote:

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

I'm amazed you have ANY customers by letting everyone know what a poor
workman
you are. I certainly wouldn't employ a cowboy such as yourself!

Bad stuff happens, even to people who are careful and thoughtful.
You may be one of those people who think that changes can be made without
there ever being a chance of something going wrong.


The person who never made a mistake never made anything. Appollo can rest
easy employing the "cowboys" who don't admit theirs, so everyone is happy
)


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not)

BigWallop wrote:


Brace yourself Rodney !!!!! ROFL. :-)

A lot of people ask why we pay for liability insurance. Here's why. I was
in a mansion house (a very old and very expensive family seat, mansion
house), and I set fire to a rug with the sparks from an angle grinder.

Everything else near to where I was working was covered with boards and
things, to protect them. But haste to finish up and get home caused me to
just kick back the rug before cutting into a metal plate. Not knowing the
rug had just crumpled up behind me when I kicked it, then slid back down
flat to the floor with the vibration of the cutting, it caught fire along
one edge, and only alerted me when the smoke grew to thick to see through.

You think you've thought of everything before you start these jobs, but
there is always something you overlook. Anyway, 3000 quid in compensation
for an antique foreign rug, soon made me realise that things like this can
happen. My next purchase wasn't a fire extinguisher. Oh no. It was a
liability insurance policy with Standard Life. :-)

It may cost a few hundred pounds a years, but when they say they'll cover
you up to the value of 3 million pounds. I think it works out cheaper than
any other alternative.

Indeed. Shortly after I moved here, my next door neighbour..well half a
mile away, nearly burnt to the ground. It was a thousand year old manor
house being restored, and no one is clear on exactly what happened, but
plumbing work was going on at the time. Whether something was left
smoldering, or electrical work was damaged, I don't recall.

But there was a huge tussle between the house insurers and the liability
insurers of the contractors.

I nearly burnt down the North Vietnamese embassy, in London once.

It was emty, except for some pretty high class squatters, who held a party.

It had underfloor warm air heating installed, and grids along the
beautiful wooden floor edges. And I dropped a cigarette down one..

Only my quick thinking and a can of Newcastle Brown saved this valuable
building from destruction ;-)

BigWallop wrote:
SNIP



Brace yourself Rodney !!!!! ROFL. :-)

A lot of people ask why we pay for liability insurance. Here's why.
I was in a mansion house (a very old and very expensive family seat,
mansion house), and I set fire to a rug with the sparks from an angle
grinder.

Indeed. £2 million for about £15 a month, its a no brainer. I only have
the £2 mill because of the Fair Trader scheme, its a requirement. I started
with £1 million for about £9 a month, well worth it.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

"The Natural Philosopher" wrote in message
...
BigWallop wrote:

snipped
any other alternative.

Indeed. Shortly after I moved here, my next door neighbour..well half a
mile away, nearly burnt to the ground. It was a thousand year old manor
house being restored, and no one is clear on exactly what happened, but
plumbing work was going on at the time. Whether something was left
smoldering, or electrical work was damaged, I don't recall.

But there was a huge tussle between the house insurers and the liability
insurers of the contractors.

I nearly burnt down the North Vietnamese embassy, in London once.

It was emty, except for some pretty high class squatters, who held a
party.

It had underfloor warm air heating installed, and grids along the
beautiful wooden floor edges. And I dropped a cigarette down one..

Only my quick thinking and a can of Newcastle Brown saved this valuable
building from destruction ;-)


It wasn't the consumption of too many Newkie Brews, that caused you to drop
the ciggy in the first place, was it? :-)

In article ,
The Natural Philosopher writes:

Indeed. Shortly after I moved here, my next door neighbour..well half a
mile away, nearly burnt to the ground. It was a thousand year old manor
house being restored, and no one is clear on exactly what happened, but
plumbing work was going on at the time. Whether something was left
smoldering, or electrical work was damaged, I don't recall.

But there was a huge tussle between the house insurers and the liability
insurers of the contractors.

I nearly burnt down the North Vietnamese embassy, in London once.

It was emty, except for some pretty high class squatters, who held a party.

It had underfloor warm air heating installed, and grids along the
beautiful wooden floor edges. And I dropped a cigarette down one..

Only my quick thinking and a can of Newcastle Brown saved this valuable
building from destruction ;-)

Did you ever visit Windsor Castle?

--
Andrew Gabriel
[email address is not usable -- followup in the newsgroup]

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
...
BigWallop wrote:
SNIP



Brace yourself Rodney !!!!! ROFL. :-)

A lot of people ask why we pay for liability insurance. Here's why.
I was in a mansion house (a very old and very expensive family seat,
mansion house), and I set fire to a rug with the sparks from an angle
grinder.

Indeed. £2 million for about £15 a month, its a no brainer. I only have
the £2 mill because of the Fair Trader scheme, its a requirement. I
started
with £1 million for about £9 a month, well worth it.

Dave - The Medway Handyman


We pay close to £1,100 a month, but it covers 15 employees and their tools
and any liability occurrences (which are non-existent at the moment, touch
wood). Still worth every penny when you think of the contracts we have.

Insurance is a great backup to anyone who works for themselves. I've known
one man bands to go under, even just at the thought of having a 100 pound
compensation bill to pay. For the genuine self-employee, insurance is
something that can save your whole living.

But, if you can't learn through the mistakes, you ain't doing it right in
the first place. :-)

This time next year, Rodney. We'll be millionaires. LOL

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
...
BigWallop wrote:
SNIP



Brace yourself Rodney !!!!! ROFL. :-)

A lot of people ask why we pay for liability insurance. Here's why.
I was in a mansion house (a very old and very expensive family seat,
mansion house), and I set fire to a rug with the sparks from an angle
grinder.

Indeed. £2 million for about £15 a month, its a no brainer. I only have
the £2 mill because of the Fair Trader scheme, its a requirement. I
started
with £1 million for about £9 a month, well worth it.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

I think we have been here before, but it is well worth a repost for anyone
that has not seen it.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/6546267.stm

Adam

"ARWadsworth" wrote in message
.. .

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
...
BigWallop wrote:
SNIP



Brace yourself Rodney !!!!! ROFL. :-)

A lot of people ask why we pay for liability insurance. Here's why.
I was in a mansion house (a very old and very expensive family seat,
mansion house), and I set fire to a rug with the sparks from an angle
grinder.

Indeed. £2 million for about £15 a month, its a no brainer. I only
have
the £2 mill because of the Fair Trader scheme, its a requirement. I
started
with £1 million for about £9 a month, well worth it.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

I think we have been here before, but it is well worth a repost for anyone
that has not seen it.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/6546267.stm

Adam


And a note of dismay sounded out across the moors. :-)

Owain wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Indeed. £2 million for about £15 a month, its a no brainer. I only
have the £2 mill because of the Fair Trader scheme, its a
requirement. I started with £1 million for about £9 a month, well
worth it.

What's the excess?

£250.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk