"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
om...
Anyone remember that wonderful episode of Only Fools & Horses with the
chandelier?

So, there I was fitting a 9 arm chandelier for a regular customer, this
one;
http://tinyurl.com/59k2le (the chandelier, not the customer).

Large plaster ceiling rose to be fitted as well.

Job was on the landing, easy access to the other side of the ceiling via
the
loft. Couple of 4" screws through the hook bracket & the rose, right into
a
joist - good strong fix.

One of those light fittings where you hang it on a hook & slide up a cover
to conceal it.

Hung the chandelier on the hook, poked the cable through a hole in the
rose.
went up into the loft to wire up.

Cable coming through the hole wasn't 'quite' long enough to reach the JB,
so
knowing there was still a bit of slack I pulled the cable up a bit.

That wasn't the problem.

Letting go of the cable was. It started to disappear back through the
hole.
I'd inadvertently lifted the chandelier off the hook.

An almighty crash followed, then a series of crashes. They were the
sounds
of the chandelier hitting the banisters, then bouncing down the stairs.

Came down the loft ladder like lightning to find a pile of mangled
chandelier & glass droplets.

No choice but to buy the lady a new one, even with a 15% voucher it was
£85!

Not a good day today :-(

Dave - The Medway Handyman


Brace yourself Rodney !!!!! ROFL. :-)

A lot of people ask why we pay for liability insurance. Here's why. I was
in a mansion house (a very old and very expensive family seat, mansion
house), and I set fire to a rug with the sparks from an angle grinder.

Everything else near to where I was working was covered with boards and
things, to protect them. But haste to finish up and get home caused me to
just kick back the rug before cutting into a metal plate. Not knowing the
rug had just crumpled up behind me when I kicked it, then slid back down
flat to the floor with the vibration of the cutting, it caught fire along
one edge, and only alerted me when the smoke grew to thick to see through.

You think you've thought of everything before you start these jobs, but
there is always something you overlook. Anyway, 3000 quid in compensation
for an antique foreign rug, soon made me realise that things like this can
happen. My next purchase wasn't a fire extinguisher. Oh no. It was a
liability insurance policy with Standard Life. :-)

It may cost a few hundred pounds a years, but when they say they'll cover
you up to the value of 3 million pounds. I think it works out cheaper than
any other alternative.

Does the new chandelier look nice?