Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

1. You believe every stereotype you've ever heard
about California.

2. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that
the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area
and the San Francisco area.

3. You don't realize that California has the most geographical
variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point
in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the
lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on
a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks
that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and
streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in the
world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful
natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

4. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the
people who "normal" people would call freaks came from
other states. Still, the majority of the people in California
are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people
that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or
in movies.

5. You don't realize that California produces more food than
anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland
are just part of what makes California easily the most beautiful
state in the Union.

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

7. You don't realize that some of us Native Californians get rather
sensitive when our state is unjustly bad-mouthed...Sniff, Sob!

Yeah, I know, it was just a joke and lighten up, right? Well, I've
spent way too much time in New York and Texas visiting in-laws
who think just like your retarded California-bashing list. As is
evidenced by the few responses that have shown up so far, it's
apparent that many of you non-Californians are under the same
misconceptions. All of you who really believe the list are quite
welcome to stay out of California and make sure you avoid all
of the products produced here. Better rent a big dumpster because
it's going to be *full*. Deposit your computer and it's software in
there too. Better get that garden growing while you're at it.

Bruce,
A proud native Californian who's lived in many different states and
visited many more. I'll stay where I am thank you.

Bruce responds:

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

You know you're from CA when you think that's important.

Charlie Self
"It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore

I enjoyed my visit to San Diego last August.
I was glad to get back home to Texas. :-)
I also enjoyed my swing through the New England and Eastern Seaboard in the
Fall.

Between the two trips I saw furniture made by Stickley, Maloof, Nakashima,
Townsend-Goddard and the craftsmen at Williamsburg. What inspiration!


"Bruce" wrote in message
...
Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...
snip

On Mon, 5 Apr 2004 09:42:17 -0700, "Bruce"
wrote:

Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

You assume people have a sense of humor.

Tim Douglass

http://www.DouglassClan.com

"Bruce" wrote in message
...
Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

1. You believe every stereotype you've ever heard
about California.

2. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that
the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area
and the San Francisco area.

3. You don't realize that California has the most geographical
variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point
in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the
lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on
a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks
that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and
streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in the
world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful
natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

4. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the
people who "normal" people would call freaks came from
other states. Still, the majority of the people in California
are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people
that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or
in movies.

5. You don't realize that California produces more food than
anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland
are just part of what makes California easily the most beautiful
state in the Union.

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

7. You don't realize that some of us Native Californians get rather
sensitive when our state is unjustly bad-mouthed...Sniff, Sob!

Yeah, I know, it was just a joke and lighten up, right? Well, I've
spent way too much time in New York and Texas visiting in-laws
who think just like your retarded California-bashing list. As is
evidenced by the few responses that have shown up so far, it's
apparent that many of you non-Californians are under the same
misconceptions. All of you who really believe the list are quite
welcome to stay out of California and make sure you avoid all
of the products produced here. Better rent a big dumpster because
it's going to be *full*. Deposit your computer and it's software in
there too. Better get that garden growing while you're at it.

Bruce,
A proud native Californian who's lived in many different states and
visited many more. I'll stay where I am thank you.


NURSE!

I grew up in Riverside, California but moved in 1995 to Michigan when I was
fifteen because of my Mother's health problems, which were in large part
caused by the smog. The main response I hear from people after I tell them
that I moved from California is "Why would you want to do that?". Of course,
there's always the completely idiotic, "I have a friend/relative that lives
in California, do you know him?" I still miss some things about California
and a lot of the things that you listed. I guess the thing I miss the most
about California is the mountains. However, I don't think I would want to
move back to California if given the chance because of the smog, gangs,
traffic, allergies, wall-to-wall cities and dry, dead landscape. I've been
living in the Detroit Metro area for the past year and before that I was
going to school for five years in Houghton, MI (in the U.P.). The Detroit
suburbs remind me a lot of California, except for the significantly lower
amount of import automobiles :-)

P.S. One thing I hate about Michigan is the people that refer to California
as "Cali". They hear it once in a rap song and suddenly they're hip enough
to repeat it endlessly. Also, my dad is convinced that there are more morons
per capita in Michigan than California, and he refers to them as
"Mich-a-tards"

Greg M

"Bruce" wrote in message
...
Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

1. You believe every stereotype you've ever heard
about California.

2. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that
the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area
and the San Francisco area.

3. You don't realize that California has the most geographical
variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point
in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the
lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on
a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks
that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and
streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in the
world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful
natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

4. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the
people who "normal" people would call freaks came from
other states. Still, the majority of the people in California
are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people
that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or
in movies.

5. You don't realize that California produces more food than
anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland
are just part of what makes California easily the most beautiful
state in the Union.

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

7. You don't realize that some of us Native Californians get rather
sensitive when our state is unjustly bad-mouthed...Sniff, Sob!

Yeah, I know, it was just a joke and lighten up, right? Well, I've
spent way too much time in New York and Texas visiting in-laws
who think just like your retarded California-bashing list. As is
evidenced by the few responses that have shown up so far, it's
apparent that many of you non-Californians are under the same
misconceptions. All of you who really believe the list are quite
welcome to stay out of California and make sure you avoid all
of the products produced here. Better rent a big dumpster because
it's going to be *full*. Deposit your computer and it's software in
there too. Better get that garden growing while you're at it.

Bruce,
A proud native Californian who's lived in many different states and
visited many more. I'll stay where I am thank you.

I've lived overseas in 4 countries for a total of 10 years
and have lived in 6 states and been through about 1/2 the
others. I'll take CA over anywhere else, thank you very
much. The weather is great, humidity is low, the
temperatures in San Jose are usually pleasant year round,
and earth quakes aren't that big deal that they are cracked
up to be. At least not in the 34 years I've been here.

On the downside, taxes and expenses are pretty high, but
I've got Prop 13 tax coverage on my home, so I'm immune to
real estate tax increases until I move. Traffic can be
lousy in other parts of the country too, so I don't count
traffic as a big negative like some here do. Now if folks
would just speak English a bit more when out in public, I
wouldn't feel like I live in a foreign country... And
getting the order taker at fast food establishments to
understand MY English is problematic.

We've got Arnold, the ocean, FLAT bike trails, mountains,
skiing, blue sky all summer, no mosquitos. If you want
heat, we've got Redding, Palm Springs, Livermore,
Sacramento. If you want cool we've got San Diego, Santa
Cruz, San Francisco.

Lakes? Clear Lake, Shasta (for the house boat set), Tahoe.

But I must admit there's no bargains on wood.
(Maybe I should chuck it all and move to W.V.)

dave

Bruce wrote:

Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

1. You believe every stereotype you've ever heard
about California.

2. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that
the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area
and the San Francisco area.

3. You don't realize that California has the most geographical
variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point
in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the
lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on
a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks
that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and
streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in the
world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful
natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

4. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the
people who "normal" people would call freaks came from
other states. Still, the majority of the people in California
are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people
that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or
in movies.

5. You don't realize that California produces more food than
anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland
are just part of what makes California easily the most beautiful
state in the Union.

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

7. You don't realize that some of us Native Californians get rather
sensitive when our state is unjustly bad-mouthed...Sniff, Sob!

Yeah, I know, it was just a joke and lighten up, right? Well, I've
spent way too much time in New York and Texas visiting in-laws
who think just like your retarded California-bashing list. As is
evidenced by the few responses that have shown up so far, it's
apparent that many of you non-Californians are under the same
misconceptions. All of you who really believe the list are quite
welcome to stay out of California and make sure you avoid all
of the products produced here. Better rent a big dumpster because
it's going to be *full*. Deposit your computer and it's software in
there too. Better get that garden growing while you're at it.

Bruce,
A proud native Californian who's lived in many different states and
visited many more. I'll stay where I am thank you.

I've just re-read John Steinbeck's "Travels With Charley" and was amused by
the epigram he quoted on Californians:

The miners came in forty-nine,
The whores in fifty-one,
And when they got together,
They made a Native Son...

And he came from Salinas!

Cheers

Frank


"Bruce" wrote in message
...
Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

1. You believe every stereotype you've ever heard
about California.

2. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that
the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area
and the San Francisco area.

3. You don't realize that California has the most geographical
variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point
in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the
lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on
a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks
that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and
streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in the
world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful
natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

4. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the
people who "normal" people would call freaks came from
other states. Still, the majority of the people in California
are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people
that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or
in movies.

5. You don't realize that California produces more food than
anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland
are just part of what makes California easily the most beautiful
state in the Union.

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

7. You don't realize that some of us Native Californians get rather
sensitive when our state is unjustly bad-mouthed...Sniff, Sob!

Yeah, I know, it was just a joke and lighten up, right? Well, I've
spent way too much time in New York and Texas visiting in-laws
who think just like your retarded California-bashing list. As is
evidenced by the few responses that have shown up so far, it's
apparent that many of you non-Californians are under the same
misconceptions. All of you who really believe the list are quite
welcome to stay out of California and make sure you avoid all
of the products produced here. Better rent a big dumpster because
it's going to be *full*. Deposit your computer and it's software in
there too. Better get that garden growing while you're at it.

Bruce,
A proud native Californian who's lived in many different states and
visited many more. I'll stay where I am thank you.







---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.593 / Virus Database: 376 - Release Date: 20/02/2004

Mon, Apr 5, 2004, 9:42am (EDT-3) (Bruce)
Heya all,
=A0=A0=A0=A0You know you *don't* live in California when... snip

When you have friendly wildlife like this:
http://community-2.webtv.net/karenlp...SEE/index.html

You see non-plastic women:
http://priceless420.com/pr033104stockyard.jpg

And, you can never find a McDonalds when you want one:
http://www-new.latinosandmedia.org/j...T83_004_09.jpg

JOAT
Don't e-mail me while I'm breathing.

Jeez! My wife told me that humor was in short supply in CA. You must be
suffering from "Rolling Laughouts"!



--
************************************************** ******************
I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is
softness of head.
Theodore Roosevelt

The man who loves other countries as much as his own stands on a level with
the man who loves other women as much as he loves his own wife.
Theodore Roosevelt

The pacifist is as surely a traitor to his country and to humanity as is the
most brutal wrongdoer.
Theodore Roosevelt


"Bruce" wrote in message
...
Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

1. You believe every stereotype you've ever heard
about California.

2. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that
the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area
and the San Francisco area.

3. You don't realize that California has the most geographical
variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point
in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the
lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on
a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks
that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and
streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in the
world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful
natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

4. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the
people who "normal" people would call freaks came from
other states. Still, the majority of the people in California
are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people
that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or
in movies.

5. You don't realize that California produces more food than
anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland
are just part of what makes California easily the most beautiful
state in the Union.

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

7. You don't realize that some of us Native Californians get rather
sensitive when our state is unjustly bad-mouthed...Sniff, Sob!

Yeah, I know, it was just a joke and lighten up, right? Well, I've
spent way too much time in New York and Texas visiting in-laws
who think just like your retarded California-bashing list. As is
evidenced by the few responses that have shown up so far, it's
apparent that many of you non-Californians are under the same
misconceptions. All of you who really believe the list are quite
welcome to stay out of California and make sure you avoid all
of the products produced here. Better rent a big dumpster because
it's going to be *full*. Deposit your computer and it's software in
there too. Better get that garden growing while you're at it.

Bruce,
A proud native Californian who's lived in many different states and
visited many more. I'll stay where I am thank you.

Charlie, You obviously have no sense of humor at all.
What an idiot!

Bruce
Redding, Ca.

"Charlie Self" wrote in message
...
Bruce responds:

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that
matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

You know you're from CA when you think that's important.

Charlie Self
"It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard
Fillmore

I do have a sense of humor, as can be seen by some
of my reply. However, how would you feel if we
start with some black jokes or some Jew jokes?
Maybe we can make fun of the stupid crazy folks from
Mexico! Yeah, sure is funny stuff! I'll bet you can't
see any comparison here. "Hey, I'm just kidding!"
The responses to the attempt at humor were evidence
that many people take the OP joke seriously. Just
out of curiosity, how would any of you folks from Canada
take it if we made a long list of derogatory and nasty
stereotypes about Canada. Don't worry, we'll make
some up. That's what was done with Ca.

Bruce
Redding, Ca.

"Tim Douglass" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 5 Apr 2004 09:42:17 -0700, "Bruce"
wrote:

Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

You assume people have a sense of humor.

Tim Douglass

http://www.DouglassClan.com

Southern California has very little to do with the majority of
the state. There's no smog problem where I live and the
same can be said with the majority of the state. At least
no more than around any other part of the country. Ever
been to Denver? The same goes for the crime/gang problem.
Gangs aren't a problem except in the major metro areas
and that would apply to *any* state. I lived in Portland, Or.
for a few years. I moved because I got sick of the gangs.
What do you mean by wall-to-wall cities? Did you ever
leave Southern California? Really. That's the only part of
the state that's really like that more than any other state
and that's mostly just the L.A. area. The S.F. Bay Area
is congested too but not as much as many areas on the
East Coast. Between that is lots of wide open spaces.
Dry, dead landscape??? This confirms that all you know
is the far southern portion of the state. The majority of
the state is green, either from trees or crops.

Bruce
Redding, Ca.


"Greg M" wrote in message
m...
I grew up in Riverside, California but moved in 1995 to Michigan
when I was
fifteen because of my Mother's health problems, which were in large
part
caused by the smog. The main response I hear from people after I
tell them
that I moved from California is "Why would you want to do that?". Of
course,
there's always the completely idiotic, "I have a friend/relative
that lives
in California, do you know him?" I still miss some things about
California
and a lot of the things that you listed. I guess the thing I miss
the most
about California is the mountains. However, I don't think I would
want to
move back to California if given the chance because of the smog,
gangs,
traffic, allergies, wall-to-wall cities and dry, dead landscape.
I've been
living in the Detroit Metro area for the past year and before that I
was
going to school for five years in Houghton, MI (in the U.P.). The
Detroit
suburbs remind me a lot of California, except for the significantly
lower
amount of import automobiles :-)

P.S. One thing I hate about Michigan is the people that refer to
California
as "Cali". They hear it once in a rap song and suddenly they're hip
enough
to repeat it endlessly. Also, my dad is convinced that there are
more morons
per capita in Michigan than California, and he refers to them as
"Mich-a-tards"

Greg M

"Bruce" wrote in message
...
Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

1. You believe every stereotype you've ever heard
about California.

2. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that
the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area
and the San Francisco area.

3. You don't realize that California has the most geographical
variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point
in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the
lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on
a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks
that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and
streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in
the
world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful
natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

4. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the
people who "normal" people would call freaks came from
other states. Still, the majority of the people in
California
are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people
that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or
in movies.

5. You don't realize that California produces more food than
anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland
are just part of what makes California easily the most
beautiful
state in the Union.

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that
matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

7. You don't realize that some of us Native Californians get
rather
sensitive when our state is unjustly bad-mouthed...Sniff,
Sob!

Yeah, I know, it was just a joke and lighten up, right? Well,
I've
spent way too much time in New York and Texas visiting in-laws
who think just like your retarded California-bashing list. As is
evidenced by the few responses that have shown up so far, it's
apparent that many of you non-Californians are under the same
misconceptions. All of you who really believe the list are quite
welcome to stay out of California and make sure you avoid all
of the products produced here. Better rent a big dumpster because
it's going to be *full*. Deposit your computer and it's software
in
there too. Better get that garden growing while you're at it.

Bruce,
A proud native Californian who's lived in many different states
and
visited many more. I'll stay where I am thank you.

See my previous responses with regards to humor.
I've got lots of humor. But I'm also very proud of
the greatest state in the Union and I'm tired of seeing
it bad-mouthed under the guise of a joke. Why don't
you tell some ethnic jokes, Bill. C'mon, it's just in fun,
right? I'll be you can think of all sorts of stereotypes
that will be a barrel of laughs. Can't see anything
going wrong with that.

Bruce
Redding, Ca.

"Bill Everette" wrote in message
...
Jeez! My wife told me that humor was in short supply in CA. You must
be
suffering from "Rolling Laughouts"!

Bruce wrote:
Charlie, You obviously have no sense of humor at all.
What an idiot!

This says so much more about you than Charlie.

Dave in Fairfax
--
reply-to-is-disabled-due-to-spam
use:
daveldr at att dot net

Member:
America Associaton of Woodturners
www.woodturner.org
http://www.woodturner.org/community/...s/aawlocal.cfm

Capital Area Woodturners
http://capwoodturners.org

Potomac Antiqe Tools and INdustries Association
www.patinatools.org

Good one, Dave! You sure floored me with that zinger!

Bruce
Redding, Ca.

"Dave in Fairfax" wrote in message
...
Bruce wrote:
Charlie, You obviously have no sense of humor at all.
What an idiot!

This says so much more about you than Charlie.

Dave in Fairfax

MTU, eh? Why did you leave da UP?

I spent time in Marysville, and it got so bad that you had to have a group
to camp out or risk the freaks even in the mountains. For my money, it's
still granola land.

Oh yeah, born a troll - Joy and Telegraph....

"Greg M" wrote in message
m...
I've been
living in the Detroit Metro area for the past year and before that I was
going to school for five years in Houghton, MI (in the U.P.). The Detroit
suburbs remind me a lot of California, except for the significantly lower
amount of import automobiles :-)

I realize it's all in fun (that's why I posted in a humorous manner), but
the poster evidently doesn't. And what does this have to do with ethnic
jokes?


--
************************************************** ******************
I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is
softness of head.
Theodore Roosevelt

The man who loves other countries as much as his own stands on a level with
the man who loves other women as much as he loves his own wife.
Theodore Roosevelt

The pacifist is as surely a traitor to his country and to humanity as is the
most brutal wrongdoer.
Theodore Roosevelt


"Bruce" wrote in message
...
See my previous responses with regards to humor.
I've got lots of humor. But I'm also very proud of
the greatest state in the Union and I'm tired of seeing
it bad-mouthed under the guise of a joke. Why don't
you tell some ethnic jokes, Bill. C'mon, it's just in fun,
right? I'll be you can think of all sorts of stereotypes
that will be a barrel of laughs. Can't see anything
going wrong with that.

Bruce
Redding, Ca.

"Bill Everette" wrote in message
...
Jeez! My wife told me that humor was in short supply in CA. You must
be
suffering from "Rolling Laughouts"!

"Dave in Fairfax" wrote in message
Bruce wrote:
Charlie, You obviously have no sense of humor at all.
What an idiot!

This says so much more about you than Charlie.

Dave in Fairfax

Bingo! ... Charlie's humor is dryer than California whine.

--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 4/02/04

You forgot one .... Standing in Line... I was at Fryes in Fremont last
month and the line was 100 deep. My god, are people that programmed in Bay
Area to stand in lines like that?

Rich


"Bay Area Dave" wrote in message
. com...
I've lived overseas in 4 countries for a total of 10 years
and have lived in 6 states and been through about 1/2 the
others. I'll take CA over anywhere else, thank you very
much. The weather is great, humidity is low, the
temperatures in San Jose are usually pleasant year round,
and earth quakes aren't that big deal that they are cracked
up to be. At least not in the 34 years I've been here.

On the downside, taxes and expenses are pretty high, but
I've got Prop 13 tax coverage on my home, so I'm immune to
real estate tax increases until I move. Traffic can be
lousy in other parts of the country too, so I don't count
traffic as a big negative like some here do. Now if folks
would just speak English a bit more when out in public, I
wouldn't feel like I live in a foreign country... And
getting the order taker at fast food establishments to
understand MY English is problematic.

We've got Arnold, the ocean, FLAT bike trails, mountains,
skiing, blue sky all summer, no mosquitos. If you want
heat, we've got Redding, Palm Springs, Livermore,
Sacramento. If you want cool we've got San Diego, Santa
Cruz, San Francisco.

Lakes? Clear Lake, Shasta (for the house boat set), Tahoe.

But I must admit there's no bargains on wood.
(Maybe I should chuck it all and move to W.V.)

dave

Bruce wrote:

Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

1. You believe every stereotype you've ever heard
about California.

2. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that
the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area
and the San Francisco area.

3. You don't realize that California has the most geographical
variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point
in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the
lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on
a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks
that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and
streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in the
world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful
natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

4. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the
people who "normal" people would call freaks came from
other states. Still, the majority of the people in California
are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people
that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or
in movies.

5. You don't realize that California produces more food than
anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland
are just part of what makes California easily the most beautiful
state in the Union.

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

7. You don't realize that some of us Native Californians get rather
sensitive when our state is unjustly bad-mouthed...Sniff, Sob!

Yeah, I know, it was just a joke and lighten up, right? Well, I've
spent way too much time in New York and Texas visiting in-laws
who think just like your retarded California-bashing list. As is
evidenced by the few responses that have shown up so far, it's
apparent that many of you non-Californians are under the same
misconceptions. All of you who really believe the list are quite
welcome to stay out of California and make sure you avoid all
of the products produced here. Better rent a big dumpster because
it's going to be *full*. Deposit your computer and it's software in
there too. Better get that garden growing while you're at it.

Bruce,
A proud native Californian who's lived in many different states and
visited many more. I'll stay where I am thank you.

Bruce responds:


Charlie, You obviously have no sense of humor at all.
What an idiot!

Bruce
Redding, Ca.

"Charlie Self" wrote in message
...
Bruce responds:

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that
matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

You know you're from CA when you think that's important.

Seems to me I'm not the one suffering from an impairment of the humorous.

Charlie Self
"It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore

Bruce writes:


I do have a sense of humor, as can be seen by some
of my reply. However, how would you feel if we
start with some black jokes or some Jew jokes?

WTF do black or Jew jokes have to do with California jokes? California isn't a
race or a culture (medium, maybe) or anything like that.

Maybe we can make fun of the stupid crazy folks from
Mexico! Yeah, sure is funny stuff! I'll bet you can't
see any comparison here.

No, I can't.

Just
out of curiosity, how would any of you folks from Canada
take it if we made a long list of derogatory and nasty
stereotypes about Canada. Don't worry, we'll make
some up. That's what was done with Ca.

Canuckistan? Eh?

I really wonder how much attention you pay to anything that doesn't fall within
the purview of your pet whine.

Charlie Self
"It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore

In article , Bruce
wrote:

However, how would you feel if we
start with some black jokes or some Jew jokes?

OOOOH!

Hey everyone... Californians are *race* now!

That means we can't tell joke like this any more...

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just two, but it has to be a *big* light bulb!

LOL! That one always cracks me up!

What's brown, sticky and Californian?

A Californian's stick!

Hee hee hee. My pet rabbit loves that one.

Thanks, you've been great. I'm here all week.

djb

--
Okay, so this is my new sig line, eh?

In article , Bruce
wrote:

But I'm also very proud of
the greatest state in the Union and I'm tired of seeing
it bad-mouthed under the guise of a joke.

Study history... California is often a joke. More than once a year, in
my experience.

And I'm not even a 'Murrican!

And, I visit California about once a year!

And I have lots of Californians I count as friends!

But it's a wacky state, and deserves to be made fun of, just about as
much as Wisconsin.

"Oh dadee-oh, you guys are so CRAZEE!"

--
Okay, so this is my new sig line, eh?

Charlie Self wrote:
Seems to me I'm not the one suffering from an impairment of the humorous.


I would agree. One of the axioms of my business is that the more defensive
somebody acts, the guiltier they feel.



--
Mortimer Schnerd, RN


http://www.mortimerschnerd.com

"Bruce" wrote:

Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

....when you don't get this old chestnut:

A Texan, a Californian and an Oregonian were sitting around
drinking.The Texan finished his tequila, through the bottle in
the air and shot it. "Why'd you do that?" asked the Californian?
"Aw, there's lots more tequila bottles where that came from," was
the reply. The Californian finished his white wine, through the
bottle in the air and shot it. "Why'd you do that?" asked the
Oregonian. "California is awash in wine bottles," he answered.
The Oregonian finished his Blitz-Weinhard and shot the
Californian."Why'd you do that?" asked the Texan. "Oregon's full
of Californians,but that bottle's worth a nickel."

-Derek

In article , "Bruce" wrote:
[snip]
What do you mean by wall-to-wall cities? Did you ever
leave Southern California? Really. That's the only part of
the state that's really like that more than any other state
and that's mostly just the L.A. area.

Makes *me* wonder if *you* have ever been outside SoCal...

The S.F. Bay Area
is congested too but not as much as many areas on the
East Coast.

To any Midwesterner, the Bay Area is indeed "wall-to-wall cities". It may not
be as bad as parts of the East Coast, but it's still waaaaay more congested
than anywhere in the Midwest (with the possible exception of Chicago).

--
Regards,
Doug Miller (alphageek-at-milmac-dot-com)

For a copy of my TrollFilter for NewsProxy/Nfilter,
send email to autoresponder at filterinfo-at-milmac-dot-com

In article , "Bruce" wrote:
See my previous responses with regards to humor.
I've got lots of humor. But I'm also very proud of
the greatest state in the Union

Ummm.... that would be Michigan, actually, not California. :-)

--
Regards,
Doug Miller (alphageek-at-milmac-dot-com)

For a copy of my TrollFilter for NewsProxy/Nfilter,
send email to autoresponder at filterinfo-at-milmac-dot-com

Bruce wrote:
Good one, Dave! You sure floored me with that zinger!

It wasn't meant as a zinger, just an observation. You're being a bit
defensive about the whole thing and attacking Charlie seemed over the
top.
Dave in Fairfax
--
reply-to-is-disabled-due-to-spam
use:
daveldr at att dot net

Member:
America Associaton of Woodturners
www.woodturner.org
http://www.woodturner.org/community/...s/aawlocal.cfm

Capital Area Woodturners
http://capwoodturners.org

Potomac Antiqe Tools and INdustries Association
www.patinatools.org

In article , Charlie Self
wrote:

Just
out of curiosity, how would any of you folks from Canada
take it if we made a long list of derogatory and nasty
stereotypes about Canada. Don't worry, we'll make
some up. That's what was done with Ca.

Canuckistan? Eh?

Spaking for all Canadians, our response in such a situation would be to
apologize insincerely and get on with our lives.

;-)

--
Okay, so this is my new sig line, eh?

In article .ca, Dave
Balderstone wrote:

Spaking for all Canadians, our response in such a situation would be to
apologize insincerely and get on with our lives.

Sorry for the typo. That should have been either "Speaking for all
Canadians" or "Spanking for all Canadians"

You choose.

;-)

--
Okay, so this is my new sig line, eh?

Dave Balderstone writes:

But it's a wacky state, and deserves to be made fun of, just about as
much as Wisconsin.

But in Wisconsin we can laugh at ourselves.

We once had a Governor who suggested that our license plates
should say "Eat Cheese or Die".

Doug Miller wrote:

In article , "Bruce"
wrote: [snip]

The S.F. Bay Area is congested too but not as much as many
areas on the East Coast.

To any Midwesterner, the Bay Area is indeed "wall-to-wall
cities". It may not be as bad as parts of the East Coast, but
it's still waaaaay more congested than anywhere in the Midwest
(with the possible exception of Chicago).

My last trip to San Jose was like a weird, irrational dream. Rent
for an unfurnished one-bedroom apartment ran over $2K/month. The
City of San Jose was having trouble hiring police, firemen, and
teachers because the salary scales didn't permit these people to
actually reside in San Jose. The Mercury printed a full-page
picture of a tiny bungalow with the caption: "You always wanted a
million dollar estate - you just figured it would have more than
700 square feet." I still have that page somewhere.

Even the eco-freaks drive gas guzzling SUV's. San Jose's
example-setting mayor had to buy a brand new Blazer to drive the
couple of blocks from his home to his office. I'm guessing that
he thought he'd wake up some morning and need 4WD to get over all
the boulders he'd find littering the street.

From my location I had to travel on an eight-lane expressway to
get to the local barber shop. My neighbors thought that was
pretty much normal!

Ditto the grocery stores; and when I got there I found produce
that no Iowa farmer would feed to pigs. I found myself buying
frozen vegetables (imported from Mexico). Not sure why, but I did
expect high-quality produce in (from) California.

And the thing that has always amazed me (and most of the
midwesterners I know) is how Californians seem unable to
distinguish between celebrity and intelligence, wisdom, or
technical competance. I know for a fact that California has no
shortage of really bright people - so why?

It's the only place I've ever been where a public utility (and
politicians) could get away with ripping off their
customers/constituants for billions (thousands of millions) of
dollars just by shutting down portions of the power grid at
intervals. [And although my account was paid in full, PG&E never
did return my several hunderd dollar deposit.]

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto, Iowa USA

Give it man, you ain't gonna win no matter how hard you try.

--
"Cartoons don't have any deep meaning.
They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh."
Homer Simpson
Jerry© The Phoneman®
"Bruce" wrote in message
...
Good one, Dave! You sure floored me with that zinger!

Bruce
Redding, Ca.

"Dave in Fairfax" wrote in message
...
Bruce wrote:
Charlie, You obviously have no sense of humor at all.
What an idiot!

This says so much more about you than Charlie.

Dave in Fairfax

Dave Balderstone writes:


Spaking for all Canadians, our response in such a situation would be to
apologize insincerely and get on with our lives.

Sorry for the typo. That should have been either "Speaking for all
Canadians" or "Spanking for all Canadians"

You choose.

If I'm on the receiving end, I'll go for "speaking".

Charlie Self
"It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore

Ron Bean notes:

But in Wisconsin we can laugh at ourselves.

We once had a Governor who suggested that our license plates
should say "Eat Cheese or Die".

That must have been about the time I lived there. But if he'd been PC, he'd
have admitted, "Eat Cheese & Die" was more truthful.

Charlie Self
"It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore

the Fremont store is busy, busy, busy. I hate Fry's anyway!
But I go to the Hamilton Ave. store when I can't what
I want elsewhere.

I got right in at 5 PM tonight at Cheesecake factory at the
new Oakridge Mall. How's that for luck. We usually walk in
and walk out because the wait is so long.

dave

RKON wrote:

You forgot one .... Standing in Line... I was at Fryes in Fremont last
month and the line was 100 deep. My god, are people that programmed in Bay
Area to stand in lines like that?

Rich


"Bay Area Dave" wrote in message
. com...

I've lived overseas in 4 countries for a total of 10 years
and have lived in 6 states and been through about 1/2 the
others. I'll take CA over anywhere else, thank you very
much. The weather is great, humidity is low, the
temperatures in San Jose are usually pleasant year round,
and earth quakes aren't that big deal that they are cracked
up to be. At least not in the 34 years I've been here.

On the downside, taxes and expenses are pretty high, but
I've got Prop 13 tax coverage on my home, so I'm immune to
real estate tax increases until I move. Traffic can be
lousy in other parts of the country too, so I don't count
traffic as a big negative like some here do. Now if folks
would just speak English a bit more when out in public, I
wouldn't feel like I live in a foreign country... And
getting the order taker at fast food establishments to
understand MY English is problematic.

We've got Arnold, the ocean, FLAT bike trails, mountains,
skiing, blue sky all summer, no mosquitos. If you want
heat, we've got Redding, Palm Springs, Livermore,
Sacramento. If you want cool we've got San Diego, Santa
Cruz, San Francisco.

Lakes? Clear Lake, Shasta (for the house boat set), Tahoe.

But I must admit there's no bargains on wood.
(Maybe I should chuck it all and move to W.V.)

dave

Bruce wrote:


Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

1. You believe every stereotype you've ever heard
about California.

2. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that
the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area
and the San Francisco area.

3. You don't realize that California has the most geographical
variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point
in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the
lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on
a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks
that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and
streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in the
world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful
natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

4. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the
people who "normal" people would call freaks came from
other states. Still, the majority of the people in California
are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people
that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or
in movies.

5. You don't realize that California produces more food than
anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland
are just part of what makes California easily the most beautiful
state in the Union.

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

7. You don't realize that some of us Native Californians get rather
sensitive when our state is unjustly bad-mouthed...Sniff, Sob!

Yeah, I know, it was just a joke and lighten up, right? Well, I've
spent way too much time in New York and Texas visiting in-laws
who think just like your retarded California-bashing list. As is
evidenced by the few responses that have shown up so far, it's
apparent that many of you non-Californians are under the same
misconceptions. All of you who really believe the list are quite
welcome to stay out of California and make sure you avoid all
of the products produced here. Better rent a big dumpster because
it's going to be *full*. Deposit your computer and it's software in
there too. Better get that garden growing while you're at it.

Bruce,
A proud native Californian who's lived in many different states and
visited many more. I'll stay where I am thank you.

"Bruce" wrote in message
....
But I'm also very proud of
the greatest state in the Union

See, you do have a sense of humor after all.
Ed

"J T" wrote in message
...
Mon, Apr 5, 2004, 9:42am (EDT-3) (Bruce)
Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when... snip

When you have friendly wildlife like this:
http://community-2.webtv.net/karenlp...SEE/index.html

'S' funny, I got exactly the same pics from a friend in OZ, claiming they
were about an oil pipeline being built from Mozambique to Sasolburg,
alongside the National Road to Komatipoort.

Who knows?

--
Nahmie
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'WOW! What A
Ride!'"





---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.639 / Virus Database: 408 - Release Date: 3/22/2004

In article ,
Charlie Self wrote:
Bruce writes:


I do have a sense of humor, as can be seen by some
of my reply. However, how would you feel if we
start with some black jokes or some Jew jokes?

WTF do black or Jew jokes have to do with California jokes? California isn't a
race or a culture (medium, maybe) or anything like that.

California -- at least the jokes, anyway -- is *definitely* a medium.

Proof:
not rare.
not well-done.

Q.E.D.



*snicker*