Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

1. You believe every stereotype you've ever heard
about California.

2. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that
the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area
and the San Francisco area.

3. You don't realize that California has the most geographical
variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point
in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the
lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on
a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks
that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and
streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in the
world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful
natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

4. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the
people who "normal" people would call freaks came from
other states. Still, the majority of the people in California
are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people
that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or
in movies.

5. You don't realize that California produces more food than
anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland
are just part of what makes California easily the most beautiful
state in the Union.

6. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick
the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that matter,
any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the
governor
of Minnesota)

7. You don't realize that some of us Native Californians get rather
sensitive when our state is unjustly bad-mouthed...Sniff, Sob!

Yeah, I know, it was just a joke and lighten up, right? Well, I've
spent way too much time in New York and Texas visiting in-laws
who think just like your retarded California-bashing list. As is
evidenced by the few responses that have shown up so far, it's
apparent that many of you non-Californians are under the same
misconceptions. All of you who really believe the list are quite
welcome to stay out of California and make sure you avoid all
of the products produced here. Better rent a big dumpster because
it's going to be *full*. Deposit your computer and it's software in
there too. Better get that garden growing while you're at it.

Bruce,
A proud native Californian who's lived in many different states and
visited many more. I'll stay where I am thank you.