"Dave Baker" wrote in message
...

"nightjar .me.uk" cpb@insert my surname here wrote in message
...

"Arfa Daily" wrote in message
...
What have we done to the ederkayshun in this country ?

Seen in a shop window when I just took a wander down to the village
centre :-

"WE HAVE MOVED A CROSSED THE ROAD"

It's enough to make you weep ...

My local newsagency excepts all credit cards.

Colin Bignell

Does your local newsagent do the same?

I've never been inside the agency to speak to the agent, so I cannot answer
that.

Colin Bignell

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "The Medway Handyman"
saying something like:

Kinderlin £z per bag

I wasn't even aware you could legally sell small German children by
the sack load but you learn something new every day.
'
Garage around here with 'Keep Cleer' painted on the doors.

Round here, there's a 'Vegatable Shop', a 'surveylance camera' and the
best of the lot - 'French Bread at it's Best', printed on several
thousand cardboard boxes which have been, are being, and will continue
to be, distributed throughout the length and breadth of the country.

On Tue, 03 Mar 2009 11:45:31 +0000, Tim S wrote:

coughed up some electrons that declared:

On 3 Mar, 10:52, Janet Tweedy wrote:
In article , Arfa Daily
writes

Yeah. That and "loose" for "lose" are two that really get me ...

Arfa

Not 'arf' as much as infer and imply!!
--
Janet Tweedy
Dalmatian Telegraphhttp://www.lancedal.demon.co.uk

At a more mundane level, "should of" instead of "should have" is
becoming ubiquitous.

A furniture store near me sells "Sofa's Chairs, and table's"
apparently.

At my local builder's merchant I recently asked if they had "free
doors" in stock. They said they had, so I said I would take 4 of them.

Another time, while ordering some 4x2 timber they asked me what "lemf"
I wanted. I said I had no idea as I didn't know what a "lemf" was.

:-)

They must love you

From another thread in this group, a brochure's wording:-

"how the light bulb ban is going to effect you."

"Affect", shirley?
--
Frank Erskine

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Lino expert
saying something like:

Birmingham Council are going to remove apostrophes from road signs

If only it was possible to remove arseholes from local councils.

Janet Tweedy wrote:
A sikh family moved into a house a few street away, a rare thing in
those days. The word "gnikrapon" was painted on the wooden garage
doors shortly afterwards.

Me & my mates assumed that this was some mysterious Indian word &
we all wondered what on earth it meant. It took us months to
realise he had tried to write "noparking" in mirror writing & not
got it right.


We used to have an Indian restaurant in town which was set back off
the road. You could drive up to the doors and order the take away.
The sign said "Mum taz" which we all assumed to be the name of the
restaurant and therefore called it that for years. Then an Indian film
on TV showed a car park in Dehli with a sign that said "Car Park" then
"Mum Taz" underneath.

Priceless! :-)


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

Arfa Daily wrote:
What have we done to the ederkayshun in this country ?

Seen in a shop window when I just took a wander down to the village
centre :-

"WE HAVE MOVED A CROSSED THE ROAD"

It's enough to make you weep ...

If a teenager was feeling particularly good, would he say I'm well well?

If an American black rapper was greeting a prostitute would he say "Yo Ho"?


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

"Grimly Curmudgeon" wrote in message
...
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Lino expert
saying something like:

Birmingham Council are going to remove apostrophes from road signs

If only it was possible to remove arseholes from local councils.


LMAO !!! I nearly fell off the chair when I read that !

Arfa

S Viemeister coughed up some electrons that declared:

Lead and led are often misused.
"I" where "me" should be used.
"would of" "had of" "could of"

They should return to teaching Latin... At least you leave with the concept
that something called "grammar" exists.

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Tim S saying
something like:

S Viemeister coughed up some electrons that declared:

Lead and led are often misused.
"I" where "me" should be used.
"would of" "had of" "could of"

They should return to teaching Latin... At least you leave with the concept
that something called "grammar" exists.

Now, that's just a reference to the parent's mother.

In message
,
writes

Arfa Daily wrote:

What have we done to the ederkayshun in this country ?

Seen in a shop window when I just took a wander down to the village centre
:-

"WE HAVE MOVED A CROSSED THE ROAD"

It's enough to make you weep ...

Arfa

Local garage, big sign on counter, "Vaccum cleaner £1". Been there
over 6 months. "We've 'ad no complaints mate".

I know the place, it's called "Bukake"


--
geoff

"Grimly Curmudgeon" wrote in message
...
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Tim S saying
something like:

S Viemeister coughed up some electrons that declared:

Lead and led are often misused.
"I" where "me" should be used.
"would of" "had of" "could of"

They should return to teaching Latin... At least you leave with the
concept
that something called "grammar" exists.

Now, that's just a reference to the parent's mother.

I enjoyed latin at school, and find it interesting still, it being at the
root of many common words.

Here's another one that has started really annoying me lately.
urning -thing into -think as in "I didn't see anythink at all" or "Nothink
would persuade me to speak to him" or "There must be somethink to it".

And even worse when the "th" gets traded for an "f" as well ...

It is so common to hear this on the TV now, even from people that you would
otherwise consider to be 'well-spoken' and well educated.

Arfa

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "Arfa Daily"
saying something like:

It is so common to hear this on the TV now, even from people that you would
otherwise consider to be 'well-spoken' and well educated.

tongue wedged
The day the BBC allowed some of those dreadful common oiks into the
newsrooms was the the day standards went out of the window.
The whole country used to be grateful to have a single standard, where
they could hear their betters speak and aspire for their offspring to
have a decent education and be able to speak like that also.

"Janet Tweedy" wrote in message
...
A sikh family moved into a house a few street away, a rare thing in
those
days. The word "gnikrapon" was painted on the wooden garage doors
shortly
afterwards.

Me & my mates assumed that this was some mysterious Indian word & we all
wondered what on earth it meant. It took us months to realise he had
tried
to write "noparking" in mirror writing & not got it right.


We used to have an Indian restaurant in town which was set back off the
road. You could drive up to the doors and order the take away.
The sign said "Mum taz" which we all assumed to be the name of the
restaurant and therefore called it that for years. Then an Indian film on
TV showed a car park in Dehli with a sign that said "Car Park" then "Mum
Taz" underneath.

Two colleauges went to a conference in Germany, for one his first trip
there. " There seem to be a lot of roads called Einbahnstrasse", he said ...
pause while penny dropped ... "oh, ah, I see, I'll get my coat..."


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not

"pete" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 3 Mar 2009 10:52:17 +0000, Janet Tweedy wrote:
In article , Arfa Daily
writes

Yeah. That and "loose" for "lose" are two that really get me ...

Arfa




Not 'arf' as much as infer and imply!!

How about jealous and envious?

jealous: fear of losing (or is that loosing?) soemthing you have
envy: desire for something you don't have.

example: "oh, I'm dead jealous of your new shoes!"

I don't know why people enter the fray on use of English without the thought
they might be riding for a fall )...

1. "jealous" is not the fear of losing, "jealousy" is. "Jealous" being the
adjective, would be "frightened of losing"

2. "Envious" is an accepted synonym for "jealous" anyway, so the point fails
to be made.


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not)

"Tim S" wrote in message
...
S Viemeister coughed up some electrons that declared:

Lead and led are often misused.
"I" where "me" should be used.
"would of" "had of" "could of"

They should return to teaching Latin... At least you leave with the
concept
that something called "grammar" exists.

While I did study Latin, we also had one entire year of English Language
tuition devoted to grammar. It was worth 15 percent in the O level and our
teacher worked on the principle that, if we got full marks on the grammar
question, it was virtually impossible to score so badly on essay and précis
as to fail the exam. It also helped us to prepare for the Use of English
exam, which was a university entrance requirement.

Colin Bignell

In message , nightjar
writes

"Tim S" wrote in message
. ..
S Viemeister coughed up some electrons that declared:

Lead and led are often misused.
"I" where "me" should be used.
"would of" "had of" "could of"

They should return to teaching Latin... At least you leave with the
concept
that something called "grammar" exists.

While I did study Latin, we also had one entire year of English Language
tuition devoted to grammar. It was worth 15 percent in the O level and our
teacher worked on the principle that, if we got full marks on the grammar
question, it was virtually impossible to score so badly on essay and précis
as to fail the exam. It also helped us to prepare for the Use of English
exam, which was a university entrance requirement.

Likewise at a county grammar. Teachers still in their demob suits and
either not very able or they were dealing with poor material. Latin was
an entrance requirement for university but I was ejected from the group
after one year.

Living in Hertfordshire, I have got used to *must ov* and *off ov*. The
latter relating to some minor TV celebrity.

My bete noir, already mentioned, is the BBC and misuse of
bought/brought!

Thank heavens for a newsgroup where errors are ignored or helpfully
corrected:-)

regards
--
Tim Lamb

Grimly Curmudgeon wrote:
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "Arfa Daily"
saying something like:

It is so common to hear this on the TV now, even from people that you would
otherwise consider to be 'well-spoken' and well educated.

tongue wedged
The day the BBC allowed some of those dreadful common oiks into the
newsrooms was the the day standards went out of the window.
The whole country used to be grateful to have a single standard, where
they could hear their betters speak and aspire for their offspring to
have a decent education and be able to speak like that also.
Its all part of the 'lets pretend that the country can be run and
governed by people who are as stupid as the worst member of the electorate'

In article ,
The Natural Philosopher wrote:
The day the BBC allowed some of those dreadful common oiks into the
newsrooms was the the day standards went out of the window.
The whole country used to be grateful to have a single standard, where
they could hear their betters speak and aspire for their offspring to
have a decent education and be able to speak like that also.

Its all part of the 'lets pretend that the country can be run and
governed by people who are as stupid as the worst member of the
electorate'

So you actually think an accent reflects intelligence or ability?

--
*A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

"Bob Mannix" wrote in message
...
"Janet Tweedy" wrote in message
...
A sikh family moved into a house a few street away, a rare thing in
those
days. The word "gnikrapon" was painted on the wooden garage doors
shortly
afterwards.

Me & my mates assumed that this was some mysterious Indian word & we
all
wondered what on earth it meant. It took us months to realise he had
tried
to write "noparking" in mirror writing & not got it right.


We used to have an Indian restaurant in town which was set back off the
road. You could drive up to the doors and order the take away.
The sign said "Mum taz" which we all assumed to be the name of the
restaurant and therefore called it that for years. Then an Indian film on
TV showed a car park in Dehli with a sign that said "Car Park" then "Mum
Taz" underneath.

Two colleauges went to a conference in Germany, for one his first trip
there. " There seem to be a lot of roads called Einbahnstrasse", he said
... pause while penny dropped ... "oh, ah, I see, I'll get my coat..."


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not


:-)

Arfa

"nightjar .me.uk" cpb@insert my surname here wrote in message
...

"Tim S" wrote in message
...
S Viemeister coughed up some electrons that declared:

Lead and led are often misused.
"I" where "me" should be used.
"would of" "had of" "could of"

They should return to teaching Latin... At least you leave with the
concept
that something called "grammar" exists.

While I did study Latin, we also had one entire year of English Language
tuition devoted to grammar. It was worth 15 percent in the O level and our
teacher worked on the principle that, if we got full marks on the grammar
question, it was virtually impossible to score so badly on essay and
précis as to fail the exam. It also helped us to prepare for the Use of
English exam, which was a university entrance requirement.

Colin Bignell


Quite so.

Arfa

The Natural Philosopher coughed up some electrons that declared:

Its all part of the 'lets pretend that the country can be run and
governed by people who are as stupid as the worst member of the
electorate'

Isn't it already?

On Wed, 4 Mar 2009 01:43:30 -0000, "Arfa Daily"
wrote:


"Grimly Curmudgeon" wrote in message
.. .
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Tim S saying
something like:

S Viemeister coughed up some electrons that declared:

Lead and led are often misused.
"I" where "me" should be used.
"would of" "had of" "could of"

They should return to teaching Latin... At least you leave with the
concept
that something called "grammar" exists.

Now, that's just a reference to the parent's mother.

I enjoyed latin at school, and find it interesting still, it being at the
root of many common words.

Here's another one that has started really annoying me lately.
urning -thing into -think as in "I didn't see anythink at all" or "Nothink
would persuade me to speak to him" or "There must be somethink to it".

And even worse when the "th" gets traded for an "f" as well ...

It is so common to hear this on the TV now, even from people that you would
otherwise consider to be 'well-spoken' and well educated.

Arfa

But do you say 'droring'?

In message , Arfa Daily
writes
What have we done to the ederkayshun in this country ?

Seen in a shop window when I just took a wander down to the village centre
:-

"WE HAVE MOVED A CROSSED THE ROAD"

It's enough to make you weep ...

Arfa


The local florist had a sign in the window stating they would be open
all day on Wednesday's.

Other irritations:
less/fewer
lie down/lay down
me/myself
lens/lense
lend/borrow
disinterested/uninterested
x times less
x times more/x times as many
didn't used to

(walks away muttering)
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

On Wed, 04 Mar 2009 12:27:37 +0000, Alang
wrote:

On Wed, 4 Mar 2009 01:43:30 -0000, "Arfa Daily"
wrote:


"Grimly Curmudgeon" wrote in message
. ..
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Tim S saying
something like:

S Viemeister coughed up some electrons that declared:

Lead and led are often misused.
"I" where "me" should be used.
"would of" "had of" "could of"

They should return to teaching Latin... At least you leave with the
concept
that something called "grammar" exists.

Now, that's just a reference to the parent's mother.

I enjoyed latin at school, and find it interesting still, it being at the
root of many common words.

Here's another one that has started really annoying me lately.
urning -thing into -think as in "I didn't see anythink at all" or "Nothink
would persuade me to speak to him" or "There must be somethink to it".

And even worse when the "th" gets traded for an "f" as well ...

It is so common to hear this on the TV now, even from people that you would
otherwise consider to be 'well-spoken' and well educated.

Arfa

But do you say 'droring'?

:-)

Another one is saying 'for free', rather than 'free' or 'for nothing'.

--
Frank Erskine

On Wed, 4 Mar 2009 12:58:28 +0000, Peter Twydell
wrote:

In message , Arfa Daily
writes
What have we done to the ederkayshun in this country ?

Seen in a shop window when I just took a wander down to the village centre
:-

"WE HAVE MOVED A CROSSED THE ROAD"

It's enough to make you weep ...

Arfa


The local florist had a sign in the window stating they would be open
all day on Wednesday's.

Other irritations:
less/fewer
lie down/lay down
me/myself
lens/lense
lend/borrow
disinterested/uninterested
x times less
x times more/x times as many
didn't used to

Lath/lathe

--
Frank Erskine

Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
The Natural Philosopher wrote:
The day the BBC allowed some of those dreadful common oiks into the
newsrooms was the the day standards went out of the window.
The whole country used to be grateful to have a single standard, where
they could hear their betters speak and aspire for their offspring to
have a decent education and be able to speak like that also.

Its all part of the 'lets pretend that the country can be run and
governed by people who are as stupid as the worst member of the
electorate'

So you actually think an accent reflects intelligence or ability?


No, but it reflects an adherence to standards that is in itself
reasonably laudable. And something intelligent people understand the
need for.

The current ethos is 'standards make people feel inferior, or superior
and so we shouldn't have any'.

I'd trade a bit of wounded or misplaced vanity for competence any day.

Tim S wrote:
The Natural Philosopher coughed up some electrons that declared:

Its all part of the 'lets pretend that the country can be run and
governed by people who are as stupid as the worst member of the
electorate'

Isn't it already?


Yes. And we are reaping the rewards.

Frank Erskine wrote:
On Wed, 4 Mar 2009 12:58:28 +0000, Peter Twydell
wrote:

In message , Arfa Daily
writes
What have we done to the ederkayshun in this country ?

Seen in a shop window when I just took a wander down to the village centre
:-

"WE HAVE MOVED A CROSSED THE ROAD"

It's enough to make you weep ...

Arfa


The local florist had a sign in the window stating they would be open
all day on Wednesday's.

Other irritations:
less/fewer
lie down/lay down
me/myself
lens/lense
lend/borrow
disinterested/uninterested
x times less
x times more/x times as many
didn't used to

Lath/lathe

Not sure they are not alternatives in the case of strips of wood.

On Mar 3, 2:36*pm, Grimly Curmudgeon
wrote:

If only it was possible to remove arseholes from local councils.


If only it *were* possible to remove arseholes from local councils.

It's subjunctive.

What's the name of the law that states that anyone attempting to
correct anyone else's grammar will inevitably make another mistake?

(And have I unintentionally done so myself?)

In article ,
The Natural Philosopher wrote:
Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
The Natural Philosopher wrote:
The day the BBC allowed some of those dreadful common oiks into the
newsrooms was the the day standards went out of the window. The
whole country used to be grateful to have a single standard, where
they could hear their betters speak and aspire for their offspring
to have a decent education and be able to speak like that also.

Its all part of the 'lets pretend that the country can be run and
governed by people who are as stupid as the worst member of the
electorate'

So you actually think an accent reflects intelligence or ability?


No, but it reflects an adherence to standards that is in itself
reasonably laudable. And something intelligent people understand the
need for.

The current ethos is 'standards make people feel inferior, or superior
and so we shouldn't have any'.

I'd trade a bit of wounded or misplaced vanity for competence any day.

Obviously you've not given this much thought. 'The standard BBC accent'
which was referred to was nothing like the best choice if intelligibility
was the issue. It was simply the one of the upper classes in the south of
England. And when heard now sounds very dated.

Everyone has an accent. And if 'standard English' is stuck to rigorously,
the language would never evolve which would be equally ludicrous.

--
*OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

"mike" wrote in message
...
On Mar 3, 2:36 pm, Grimly Curmudgeon
wrote:

If only it was possible to remove arseholes from local councils.


If only it *were* possible to remove arseholes from local councils.

It's subjunctive.

What's the name of the law that states that anyone attempting to
correct anyone else's grammar will inevitably make another mistake?

(And have I unintentionally done so myself?)

Starting a sentence with a conjunction and splitting an infinitive...

--- (Have I done so unintentionally myself?)

I personally dislike the use of "regular" to mean "frequent".

I myself bet regularly on the horses - once a year.


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not)

On Mar 4, 3:21*pm, mike wrote:

What's the name of the law that states that anyone attempting to
correct anyone else's grammar will inevitably make another mistake?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muphry%27s_law
or
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muphry's_law

or Google for "Muphry's Law"... and note spelling!

mike wrote:
What's the name of the law that states that anyone attempting to
correct anyone else's grammar will inevitably make another mistake?

"McKean's Law: Any correction of the speech or writing of others will
contain at least one grammatical, spelling, or typographical error"
--
Reentrant

On Wed, 04 Mar 2009 14:22:08 +0000, The Natural Philosopher
wrote:

Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
The Natural Philosopher wrote:
The day the BBC allowed some of those dreadful common oiks into the
newsrooms was the the day standards went out of the window.
The whole country used to be grateful to have a single standard, where
they could hear their betters speak and aspire for their offspring to
have a decent education and be able to speak like that also.

Its all part of the 'lets pretend that the country can be run and
governed by people who are as stupid as the worst member of the
electorate'

So you actually think an accent reflects intelligence or ability?


No, but it reflects an adherence to standards that is in itself
reasonably laudable. And something intelligent people understand the
need for.

So you want someone to use your accent rather than just be able to
speak clearly and use the words correctly and in the correct order.
Possibly you hate Wilfred Pickles

The current ethos is 'standards make people feel inferior, or superior
and so we shouldn't have any'.

I'd trade a bit of wounded or misplaced vanity for competence any day.

Competence in the use of language is not dependant on accent. The
clearest speaker I ever heard was a Scot from the Northern part of
Scotland. He did not use words like loranorder or droring unlike some
RP speakers we hear on the broadcasts.

Why do Southerners confuse batter with butter?

Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

Everyone has an accent.

But southerners tend to be the worst for imagining that they don't have
an accent. Years ago when I worked in Essex, briefly. I can recall
someone turning to me in the staff canteen and saying "Ere you ayent
'alf gotter funny accent intit?"

I pointed out that she had a funny accent too, and she refused to
believe that her accent was anything other than RP. Mind you post Tony
Blair, everyone seems to talk like that in the southeast.

Alang wrote:

Why do Southerners confuse batter with butter?

Jeeves! Fetch me some pepper!

Certainly sir, black pepper or white pepper?

Neither you silly arse! Writing pepper.


Southerners all eat dinner at the wrong time of day as well.

The Natural Philosopher wrote:
Lath/lathe

Not sure they are not alternatives in the case of strips of wood.

Only to some UK builders and DIYers.

If you want a "lathe and plaster" ceiling, on your own head be it.


--
Ian White

"Grimly Curmudgeon" wrote in message

If only it was possible to remove arseholes from local councils.


This morning (8.15am) I was driving my car to get to work and was stuck in
an almighty traffic jam. I thought there must be an accident or something
similar as this particular road is never that bad. After a couple of miles
the road opens out to a dual carrageway so things start moving a bit
quiicker, imagine my suprise when I get to the front only to see a road
sweeper doing 5mph (?) holding the traffic up! I rang the council
(Wakefield) to ask why the road was being swept during the busiest time of
the day only to be told the driver was off ill yesterday so he was sent out
first thing to catch up!!!

F**k me do they not have an ounce of sense between them!

John

In article ,
Alang wrote:
Competence in the use of language is not dependant on accent. The
clearest speaker I ever heard was a Scot from the Northern part of
Scotland. He did not use words like loranorder or droring unlike some
RP speakers we hear on the broadcasts.

Yup. The clearest pronunciation of all in the UK comes with an accent from
the NE of Scotland. Not to be confused with the dialect from there,
obviously. 'BBC perceived pronunciation' is actually quite poor. Too many
words with different meanings sounding the same. Wales and whales being
the obvious one.

--
*Caution: I drive like you do.

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On Wed, 4 Mar 2009 01:43:30 -0000, "Arfa Daily"
wrote:

Here's another one that has started really annoying me lately.
urning -thing into -think as in "I didn't see anythink at all" or "Nothink
would persuade me to speak to him" or "There must be somethink to it".

And even worse when the "th" gets traded for an "f" as well ...

It is so common to hear this on the TV now, even from people that you would
otherwise consider to be 'well-spoken' and well educated.

I first heard 'anythink' appear in Brookside, maybe in the 1990's
maybe earlier. It got on my tits then and it still does.


--