Upscale writes:

A number of years ago when I broke both legs and as I was
sitting in the hospital waiting for a room, a number of nurses came up to me
commenting that I was white as a sheet. I had to actually talk a doctor out
of trying to run some tests for anaemia. And it was a waste of time cursing
or swearing because it would only have amplified the pain I was in, so I
just sat there and suffered in silence. What else can you do?

Argh! More than 30 years ago, I tore the ligaments on both sides of my groin in
a motorcycle crash in the woods (came up under the handlebars with my thighs:
the bruises were still visible a year later, and I do NOT bruise easily). After
all the x-rays, they decided no bones were broken, so it was on to checking to
see..."Does this hurt" as he moves one leg with a slighty twist. I had spent
something like 2 hours holding as still as possible until they got me out of
the woods and to the hospital, because I already knew "this" hurt. When I came
back to myself, I saw that almost everyone nearby had their hands over their
ears. I don't know what I said to that idiot with an MD, but it was loud and
nasty, and he quit manipulating my legs.

Charlie Self
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."
Edgar Bergen, (Charlie McCarthy)

J T wrote:
This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.

Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people. High
Priest for the Woodworking Gods.

That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
who aren't going to say something.

Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
sonovabitch, and several other choice words.

And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.

The more I think about it, the more curious I get.



Last time I did a nasty to myself in the shop (fell against an old
board I was going to "reclaim" and drove an 8 penny nail about 2" into
my arm) I can remember my exact response. "Oh, my! Darn! Ouch!
What bad luck. Gee, whizz." Or something like that.

FoggyTown
"Cut to shape . . . pound to fit."

"Mike Girouard" wrote in message
Last time I did a nasty to myself in the shop (fell against an old
board I was going to "reclaim" and drove an 8 penny nail about 2" into
my arm) I can remember my exact response. "Oh, my! Darn! Ouch!
What bad luck. Gee, whizz." Or something like that.

Sounds like another story that changes with time Mike. Sure it wasn't "Oh,
Damn! Argh! What ****ty luck. God why me?"

I mean really Mike, the words are almost the same, sure you didn't change
them a little?

"Charlie Self" wrote in message

Argh! More than 30 years ago, I tore the ligaments on both sides of my
groin in
a motorcycle crash in the woods (came up under the handlebars with my
thighs:
the bruises were still visible a year later, and I do NOT bruise easily).
After

Somehow, I think tearing ligaments around the groin would be a little more
painful, a sharper pain anyway. All I remember about breaking my legs was
the month long, seriously painful ache I had that was just below the
threshold of screaming my head off.

The one pain that really made me yell was two years later when I broke my
left leg again. The swelling was so bad that the doctors were worried that
it would constrict certain blood vessels causing the surround tissue to die.
The test to determine this was injecting a needle approximately ice pick
size into both legs and comparing the pressure of the released blood. Hell,
it even hurts to remember that pain.

One thing about woodworking accidents, is that they mostly happen all of a
sudden so one doesn't have to force the mind to accept that it's coming,
except maybe the painful trip through the hospital emergency. When the
doctors tell you to brace yourself that something is going to happen, it's
almost painful forcing your mind to realize that it's going to have to
accept the pain that is coming.

Andy Dingley wrote:

On Fri, 3 Dec 2004 14:01:45 -0500, (J T)
wrote:


That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer?


This one uses the names of government cabinet ministers. Offends
no-one (that matters) and it's the only way I can remember most of the
faceless drones.

BUNKETT (yes mis-spelled)

I usually utter an 'AAAHHH ****!!!', firmly grasp the injured digit,
then dance in place to placate the Hammer God.

That would be "Thor", as in "Thor Thumb" his full name, as given to him by a
lisping Viking many moons ago, shortly after he invented the hammer. Man had
no need for gods until tools were invented.

This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.

Accidental thinking... I hate it when that happens

Wonder what _he_ said?


I'm screwed

When the
doctors tell you to brace yourself that something is going to happen, it's
almost painful forcing your mind to realize that it's going to have to
accept the pain that is coming.

Ditto that. I'm much worse with the anticipation of pain. I spent the good
part of a night in the emergency room after stepping down off a my workmate
with my full eight onto a nail. The docto r had to pull little bits of
shoe-sole rubber out of my foot. I was stiff as a board waiting for him to
pull that out.

The funny thing about that trip to the ER was that it was about 2:00am and
the police brought some guy into the adjacent room who was drunk and had
apparently driven onto someone's front porch. He was abusive resistive and
apparently handcuffed to gurney.

Sound from the next room:

DR: We need to take of your pants sir.
Patient: You're not taking off my F*ing pants.
Sound effect: Zzzzzzip. (sound of sissors cutting the length of his pants).

I can't say that I have ever heard the term "c*cksucker" used more times in
a ten-minute period in my life.

-s

Now an even better question is what Jesus (who was a carpenter) yelled
when he hit *his* thumb...

Maybe he never missed......

On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 23:04:21 +0000, Andy Dingley wrote:

If you want to invoke deities, I'd suggest Norse pagan ones. They have
a good range, they seem particularly appropriate for the job, and a
few were even killed by hammer blows.

I have a hammer named Mjolnir. Hit my thumb with it, I was Thor for a week.
It was stiff and rather Wodin for a while after that, but eventually
I was Freja of the pain.

Dave "I am _so_ sorry." Hinz

On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 03:41:55 -0500, Silvan wrote:

Yet the times when I get *really* hurt, and I'm losing blood at a pretty
significant rate, I just kind of quietly make my way to the bathroom to
take care of it without saying anything in particular.

We have a saying in EMS (emergency medicine), "Sick patients don't bitch".
Meaning, if they're well enough to be hollering, they're gonna be just
fine. Usually. There's another saying that if the patient says they're
gonna die, they're usually right, but there isn't one to address when
these two seemingly contradict.

Dave "No point, sorry, move along" Hinz

On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 02:52:14 GMT, Allyn Vaughn wrote:
On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 19:18:00 -0600, Morris Dovey
wrote:

Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?

Why I believe he would have said "Joseph Christ!"

Actually, to be a pedant about it, Christ is a title rather than a
family name.

On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 04:52:25 GMT, mark wrote:

When I shot a 3" long framing nail into my left index finger (lengthwise)
while building my house

How?? I just got a framing nailer, and would like to avoid this.

I was building a half-wall, and things were a bit wobbly. So, I was
holding one of the studs in place with my left hand, while nailing
with my right hand. The nailer bounced against the top plate of the
half-wall, and double-fired. The second nail out of the nailgun
hit the head of the first one (which was properly embedded in wood), and
as it couldn't go down, it went sideways-ish. Recall that my other
hand is below and somewhat forward of the intended nail location.

Nail broke out the side of the wood, flew through the air down six inches, and
lengthwise into the tip of my left index finger. Missed the bones, missed the
nerve and tendon bundles, and came right out with a pair of pliers at the
hospital after being carefully checked for the above.

It was not pleasant. Worst part was, because I wasn't sure if I could
drive, and my now-wife, then-girlfriend was looking a bit pale about the
whole thing, is that I had to call 911 for transport, and of course the
ambulance that responded is the one that I'm an EMT with. Still haven't
lived that one down.

Dave "Hey look, I've got 11 fingernails!" Hinz

Aramaic, I should assume.

I used to wonder about my dad's outbursts in Ukrainian when I was young,
until I saw grandma's face when he used one without knowing she was
there....

"mare" lid.com wrote in
message
news:1go9jdh.1l53l2ie4k2gwN%mare*Remove*All*0f*Thi ...
Morris Dovey wrote:

J T wrote:

The more I think about it, the more curious I get.

["Curiouser and curiouser..."]

Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?

A Jewish curse in Greek.

--
mare

"Dave Hinz" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 04:52:25 GMT, mark wrote:

When I shot a 3" long framing nail into my left index finger
(lengthwise)
while building my house

How?? I just got a framing nailer, and would like to avoid this.

I was building a half-wall, and things were a bit wobbly. So, I was
holding one of the studs in place with my left hand, while nailing
with my right hand. The nailer bounced against the top plate of the
half-wall, and double-fired. The second nail out of the nailgun
hit the head of the first one (which was properly embedded in wood), and
as it couldn't go down, it went sideways-ish. Recall that my other
hand is below and somewhat forward of the intended nail location.

Nail broke out the side of the wood, flew through the air down six inches,
and
lengthwise into the tip of my left index finger. Missed the bones, missed
the
nerve and tendon bundles, and came right out with a pair of pliers at the
hospital after being carefully checked for the above.

It was not pleasant. Worst part was, because I wasn't sure if I could
drive, and my now-wife, then-girlfriend was looking a bit pale about the
whole thing, is that I had to call 911 for transport, and of course the
ambulance that responded is the one that I'm an EMT with. Still haven't
lived that one down.

Dave "Hey look, I've got 11 fingernails!" Hinz


Double ouch. Working in a station 25 years, I know how teasing goes (and
comes). But, if you can't stand the heat..... LOL
--

FMB
(only one B in FMB)

Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?

I have a feeling that if he was sure-footed enough to walk on water he
probably never missed

mare wrote:
Morris Dovey wrote:


J T wrote:


The more I think about it, the more curious I get.

["Curiouser and curiouser..."]

Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?


A Jewish curse in Greek.

My mother (a good lady of Norwegian extraction) says she always swears
in Swedish. The good Lord certainly speaks Norwegian but as certainly
does not speak Swedish.
a drip of inherited wisdom from jo4hn's john,
jo4hn

On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 19:18:00 -0600, Morris Dovey
wrote:

J T wrote:

The more I think about it, the more curious I get.

["Curiouser and curiouser..."]

Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?

Me! Me! Me!

Tim Douglass

http://www.DouglassClan.com

"Tim Douglass" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 19:18:00 -0600, Morris Dovey
wrote:

J T wrote:

The more I think about it, the more curious I get.

["Curiouser and curiouser..."]

Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?

Me! Me! Me!

Tim Douglass

http://www.DouglassClan.com

ROFLMAO!

Mekon

"John DeBoo" wrote in message
...
This is like athiests who are about to get their rocks off. Who do they
call to at 'that moment'?


I make it a rule never to call ot *any* names. Just in case I get the wrong
one!

Mekon

Fri, Dec 3, 2004, 11:40pm (EST+5)
(Robert=A0Bonomi) who obviously has me confused with someone else, is so
misinformed that he says:
OK, so you need some education _about_ the fine art of swearing. snip

If I'm going good, I use words from all of your examples. On a good
day, I can go about 3 minutes without repeating myself. On an
exceptional day, well over 5 minutes.

By the way, some euphanisms "can" be used, but usually are
effective only if interspersed.

I seldom do any swearing nowadays, unless I hit my thumb with a
hammer, get very frustrated, or talk to myself puzzling out a problem.

Then you say:
An analysis I read, back in the early 70's, discussed various
life-styles and the skill-set in this regard. One that stuck in my
memory:
=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0"Marines, especially sargents, practice it
extensively. Unfortunately, =A0 using a very limited vocabulary, mostly
concerned with bodily functions."

I fine-tuned my ability with 20+ years in the Army, serving at
different times with all the other 4 services (I included the Coast
Guard), and British, German, French, Italian, and Turkish, military
services. Maybe that explains the difference in quality. At one time I
was adequate in sveral languages, besides American English. Sadly,
anymore, I'm only able to proceed adequately in English English and
German, marginal in Spanish and French, and down to about one nasty word
each in Polish, Italian, and Latin. I've misplaced everything in
Chinese, Japanese, Thai, and Korean. Ah well, don't really need them
anymore anyway I guess, but it still would be nice to have them
available, just in case.



JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss

Sat, Dec 4, 2004, 4:04am (EST+5) (Chris=A0Melanson)
says:
snip HOARE" snip

Reminds me of an old joak.

This college kid was in a bar, and at the next table this guy and a
woman are talking. All of a sudden she burst out crying and the guy
leaves.

The college kid goes to her table, she was hot, and sits down to
comfort her. He asks why she's crying. And, she tells him the guy
called her a terrible name. Well, the kid wants to know what he called
her. "Oh, it's a terrible word, and I couldn't repeat it". So, the kid
tells her to spell it for him. So, she leans over and whispers in his
ear. He immediately jumps up, and shouts out, "No dammit, it starts
with a W, not an H".



JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss

Sat, Dec 4, 2004, 5:47am (Upscale) says:
Sounds like another story that changes with time Mike. Sure it wasn't
"Oh, Damn! Argh! What ****ty luck. God why me?"
I mean really Mike, the words are almost the same, sure you didn't
change them a little?

Yeah, even the girls wouldn't say stuff like you claim.



JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss

Sat, Dec 4, 2004, 5:59am (Upscale) says:
Somehow, I think tearing ligaments around the groin would be a little
more painful, snip

This guy was in an emergency room all tore up from a car accident,
but just lying there as if he didn't hurt at all.

The ER doctor was amazed. He asked the guy, "Aren't you in pain?".
And, the guy says, "Yeah, it's the third worst pain I've ever had in my
life".

The doctor was amazed, and asked, "What was the second worst
pain?". The guy replies, "Well, one day I was out hunting, and had to
go. So, I pulled my pants down, and squatted. And, squatted right down
on a bear trap".

The doctor was absolutely astounded, and asked, "If that was the
second worst pain you ever had, what wat the worst?". And the guy
replies, "When I ran out of chain".



JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss

Sat, Dec 4, 2004, 8:17am (C=A0&=A0S)
says:
snip stepping down off a my workmate with my full eight onto a nail.
snip

My oldest son did something like that. Except it was at school,
and one nail in each foot. One got infected, one didn't. And, he wound
up in the hospital, with the foot being operated on, then in the
hospital again, and almost another operation, to take a toe, but then
they decided to try an IV antibiotic. Three weeks of that, three times
a day, and he finally cured. Came damn close to losing the entire foot
tho. The bill was $24-25,000 or more.



JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss

Sat, Dec 4, 2004, 1:49pm (EST+5) (Dave=A0Hinz)
says:
Actually, to be a pedant about it, Christ is a title rather than a
family name.

We might as well take it the rest of the way. Apparently there's
been discussion that another mistranslation in the Bible has popped up,
and instead of a carpenter, Joseph was actually an architect.



JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss

Sun, Dec 5, 2004, 12:29am (EST+5) (Mekon) says:
I make it a rule never to call ot *any* names. Just in case I get the
wrong one!

I, on the other hand, believe in equal opportunity. I try to cover
all I can think of at the time.



JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss

We might as well take it the rest of the way. Apparently there's
been discussion that another mistranslation in the Bible has popped up,
and instead of a carpenter, Joseph was actually an architect.

My grandfather was a builder back in the 40's and early 50's. I sell
wholesale lumber today to "builders" who are nothing more than contractors
and glorified bankers. My grandfather actually designed and built the
various structures from the foundation up. I suspect that 2000 years ago, a
man making his living with his hands probably was also the architect of the
same projects.

J T wrote:

Yeah, even the girls wouldn't say stuff like you claim.

Girls? You aren't implying girls have a cleaner vocabulary are you? I'm
frequently embarrassed by how much my wife cusses, and I don't embarrass
easy.

You should have heard her in labor.

--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/

J T wrote:

I seldom do any swearing nowadays, unless I hit my thumb with a
hammer, get very frustrated, or talk to myself puzzling out a problem.

A good alternative to bad language. I screwed up boring the hole through a
plane tote I had spent umpty hours carefully shaping to perfection by hand.

Rather than swear, I just got out the can of gas and sacrificed it (the
plane tote, not the can of gas) to the woodworking gods. Burn baby burn.

It was somehow satisfying.

--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/

After an all-male college and twenty in the military, I thought I had a good
working knowledge of profanity - until I booked my first drunken female.

"Silvan" wrote in message
...
J T wrote:

Yeah, even the girls wouldn't say stuff like you claim.

Girls? You aren't implying girls have a cleaner vocabulary are you? I'm
frequently embarrassed by how much my wife cusses, and I don't embarrass
easy.

You should have heard her in labor.

On Sun, 5 Dec 2004 18:55:56 -0500, "George" george@least wrote:

After an all-male college and twenty in the military, I thought I had a good
working knowledge of profanity - until I booked my first drunken female.

Unless she was giving birth at the time, you ain't heard nothing.

Sun, Dec 5, 2004, 2:15pm (EST+5) (mel) says:
snip I suspect that 2000 years ago, a man making his living with his
hands probably was also the architect of the same projects.

They figure that if Joseph was actually an architect, instead of a
carpenter, he is probably the architect who designed, laid out a town
near Jereuselum (sp ?), and then oversaw the actual construction of the
entire town. Supposedly assisted by his son (stepson?) Jesus. No hands
on involved, or so it is thought. Don't know if they'll ever be able to
prove that par or not. Interesting to know, if they could. So,
possibly, instead of a rather broke carpenter, Joseph may well have been
a well-to-do architect.



JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss

Sun, Dec 5, 2004, 5:47pm (Silvan) asks:
Girls? You aren't implying girls have a cleaner vocabulary are you?
snip

Hardly. What I was saying was, he was worse at bad language than
any girl would be, like if she just poked herself with a pin or
something, and then said "oh darn", that's all.



JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss

Sun, Dec 5, 2004, 5:49pm (Silvan)
claims:
snip sacrificed it (the plane tote, not the can of gas) to the
woodworking gods. snip

You might have made a sacrifice to the Godlet of Arson, but not the
Woodworking Gods. They don't like that type of stuff. For them you
send a donation, in care of me, the High Priest of the Woodworking Gods.

How many times do I have to tell you people? You don't do
sacrifices to the Woodworking Gods at home. Sheesh.

I wondered who they were bitching about the other day, now I know.
By the way, now you know why you're having so much trouble sharpening
your lathe tools. LMAO



JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss

BTDT - Twice with SWMBO, three in the rig, and you're wrong!

"Andy Dingley" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 5 Dec 2004 18:55:56 -0500, "George" george@least wrote:

After an all-male college and twenty in the military, I thought I had a
good
working knowledge of profanity - until I booked my first drunken female.

Unless she was giving birth at the time, you ain't heard nothing.

In article ,
Silvan wrote:

"**** damn ****
snot, twenty-nine assholes tied in a knot."

That is just wrong.

Haven't had a laugh like this in a long time....

But why twenty-nine?

*still laughing*

On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 19:13:40 GMT, jo4hn wrote:

My mother (a good lady of Norwegian extraction) says she always swears
in Swedish. The good Lord certainly speaks Norwegian but as certainly
does not speak Swedish.

But...the swear words are nearly the same, unless she knew some that
I have not yet learned.

Dave Hinz wrote:

On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 19:13:40 GMT, jo4hn wrote:


My mother (a good lady of Norwegian extraction) says she always swears
in Swedish. The good Lord certainly speaks Norwegian but as certainly
does not speak Swedish.


But...the swear words are nearly the same, unless she knew some that
I have not yet learned.

Relayed your comment to mom and her comment was something like: "He's
probably just another heathen Swede". :-)
mahalo,
jo4hn