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  #1   Report Post  
Bill
 
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Default Mice



There is a Christmas story that says that "nothing was stirring, not
even a mouse".
Well it is not true, came down this morning to open the pressies and
found that a mouse had got there first, through the wrapping paper and
the inner packet to --MY-- chocolate gingers!
Can any one suggest the most painful and inhumane way of destroying this
little beggar?
--
Bill
  #2   Report Post  
mrcheerful
 
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"Bill" wrote in message
...


There is a Christmas story that says that "nothing was stirring, not even
a mouse".
Well it is not true, came down this morning to open the pressies and found
that a mouse had got there first, through the wrapping paper and the inner
packet to --MY-- chocolate gingers!
Can any one suggest the most painful and inhumane way of destroying this
little beggar?
--
Bill


Variable voltage wire grid, that wakes you up so you can go and watch and
vary the frying voltage.

mrcheerful


  #4   Report Post  
Tony Williams
 
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In article ,
Bill wrote:

There is a Christmas story that says that "nothing was stirring,
not even a mouse". Well it is not true, came down this morning
to open the pressies and found that a mouse had got there first,
through the wrapping paper and the inner packet to --MY--
chocolate gingers! Can any one suggest the most painful and
inhumane way of destroying this little beggar?


We have a 7-stone Rottweiler who was badly treated, shut
up in a barn, not fed, etc. She had to learn to feed
herself, and as a result is now totally hardwired to
hunt/kill/eat, especially mice...... and cats.

She has been fed this morning, but right now will be up
the farm, quartering one of the back fields, looking
for a mouse nest. 30 seconds of JCB'ing, a quick
'gobble, gobble', and all contents of the nest disappear
down the hatch.

Do you want to borrow her?

--
Tony Williams.
  #5   Report Post  
raden
 
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In message , Bill
writes


There is a Christmas story that says that "nothing was stirring, not
even a mouse".
Well it is not true, came down this morning to open the pressies and
found that a mouse had got there first, through the wrapping paper and
the inner packet to --MY-- chocolate gingers!
Can any one suggest the most painful and inhumane way of destroying
this little beggar?


Whisky and a dropper - if you want to enter into the spirit of the
season

--
geoff


  #6   Report Post  
Bill
 
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In message , Tony Williams
writes
In article ,
Bill wrote:

There is a Christmas story that says that "nothing was stirring,
not even a mouse". Well it is not true, came down this morning
to open the pressies and found that a mouse had got there first,
through the wrapping paper and the inner packet to --MY--
chocolate gingers! Can any one suggest the most painful and
inhumane way of destroying this little beggar?


We have a 7-stone Rottweiler who was badly treated, shut
up in a barn, not fed, etc. She had to learn to feed
herself, and as a result is now totally hardwired to
hunt/kill/eat, especially mice...... and cats.

She has been fed this morning, but right now will be up
the farm, quartering one of the back fields, looking
for a mouse nest. 30 seconds of JCB'ing, a quick
'gobble, gobble', and all contents of the nest disappear
down the hatch.

Do you want to borrow her?


How much per hour?
Does she like 6 year old boys too?


--
Bill
  #7   Report Post  
Bill
 
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In message , raden
writes
Whisky and a dropper - if you want to enter into the spirit of the
season

Ready marinated for the pot, seems a reasonable idea, I must pull out my
Roman cook book.



--
Bill
  #8   Report Post  
Owain
 
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"Bill" wrote
| We have a 7-stone Rottweiler ...
| How much per hour?
| Does she like 6 year old boys too?

After it's been given the veroboard treatment, why not treat the
six-year-old to a nice traditional Sugar Mouse veg

Owain


  #9   Report Post  
Dave Liquorice
 
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On Sat, 25 Dec 2004 12:15:40 -0000, Paul Mc Cann wrote:

Do it quick before your one mouse becomes a family of 5 or 6


It probably already has, though if it's only just got cold at the OPs
location it might just be scout for the family. We've only had 4
vistors this year so far, so either the Weasels and Stoats or our
deportation of invaders 5 miles onto the fells is having an effect on
the local population.

--
Cheers
Dave. pam is missing e-mail



  #11   Report Post  
Dave Stanton
 
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Get a load of the old fashioned snap traps and bait them with chocolate.
Do it quick before your one mouse becomes a family of 5 or 6


Found a few times that mice like kitkat.The chocolate, not the cat food.

Dave

--

Some people use windows, others have a life.

  #12   Report Post  
BigWallop
 
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if using umbilical
cords so they won?t be tough).
Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion
then fold in half, trimming neatly.
Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs;
allow to sit for a few minutes.
Sauté in butter and olive oil until golden brown,
about 6 minutes on each side.



Shish Kababes

As old as the hills, this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb,
poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans
are no exception!

High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)
1 inch cubes of tender meat, preferably from the nursery
Onions
bell peppers
Wooden or metal skewers

Marinate the meat overnight.
Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and
fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers.
Don?t be afraid to use a variety of meats.
Grill to medium rare,
serve with garlic cous-cous and sautéed asparagus.
Coffee and sherbet for desert then walnuts, cheese, and port.
Cigars for the gentlemen (and ladies if they so desire)!



Crock-Pot Crack Baby

When the quivering, hopelessly addicted crack baby succumbs to death,
get him immediately butchered and into the crock-pot, so that any
remaining toxins will not be fatal. But don?t cook it too long,
because like Blowfish, there is a perfect medium between the poisonous
and the stimulating. Though it may not have the same effect on your
guests, a whole chicken cooked in this fashion is also mighty tasty.

1 newborn - cocaine addicted, freshly expired, cleaned and butchered
Carrots
onions
leeks
celery
bell pepper
potatoes
Salt
pepper
garlic, etc
4 cups water

Cut the meat into natural pieces and brown very well in olive oil,
remove, then brown half of the onions, the bell pepper, and celery.
When brown, mix everything into the crock-pot, and in 6 to 8 hours you
have tur


  #13   Report Post  
Bill
 
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no religious taboos against swine.

1 large toddler or small child, cleaned and de-headed
Kentucky Bourbon Sauce (see index)
1 large can pineapple slices
Whole cloves

Place him (or ham) or her in a large glass baking dish, buttocks up.
Tie with butcher string around and across so that he looks like
he?s crawling.
Glaze, then arrange pineapples and secure with cloves.
Bake uncovered in 350° oven till thermometer reaches 160°.



Cajun Babies

Just like crabs or crawfish, babies are boiled alive!
You don?t need silverware, the hot spicy meat comes off in your hands.

6 live babies
1 lb. smoked sausage
4 lemons
whole garlic
2 lb. new potatoes
4 ears corn
1 box salt
crab boil

Bring 3 gallons of water to a boil.
Add sausage, salt, crab boil, lemons and garlic.
Drop potatoes in, boil for 4 minutes.
Corn is added next, boil an additional 11 minutes.
Put the live babies into the boiling water and cover.
Boil till meat comes off easily with a fork.



Oven-Baked Baby-Back Ribs

Beef ribs or pork ribs can be used in this recipe,
and that is exactly what your dinner guests will assume!
An excellent way to expose the uninitiated to this highly misunderstood
yet succulent source of protein.

2 human baby rib rac


  #14   Report Post  
Paul Mc Cann
 
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meat).

1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed
¼ cup vegetable oil
2 large onions
bell pepper
celery
garlic
½ cup red wine
3 Irish potatoes
2 large carrots

This is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy,
thus it does not have to be thickened.
Brown the meat quickly in very hot oil, remove and set aside.
Brown the onions, celery, pepper and garlic.
De-glaze with wine, return meat to the pan and season well.
Stew on low fire adding small amounts of water and
seasoning as necessary.
After at least half an hour, add the carrots and potatoes,
and simmer till root vegetables break with a fork.
Cook a fresh pot of long grained white rice.



Pre-mie Pot Pie

When working with prematurely delivered newborns (or chicken) use sherry;
red wine with beef (buy steak or roast, do not pre-boil).

Pie crust (see index)
Whole fresh pre-mie; eviscerated, head, hands and feet removed
Onions, bell pepper, celery
½ cup wine
Root vegetables of choice (turnips, carrots, potatoes, etc) cubed

Make a crust from scratch - or go shamefully to the frozen food section
of your favorite grocery and select 2 high quality pie crusts (you
will need one for the top also).
Boil the prepared delicacy until the meat starts to come off the bones.
Remove, de-bone and cube; continue to reduce the broth.
Brown the onions, peppers and celery.
Add the meat then season, continue browning.
De-glaze with sherry, add the reduced broth.
Finally, put in the root vegetables and simmer for 15 minutes.
Allow to cool slightly.
Place the pie pan in 375 degree oven for a few minutes so bottom crust is not soggy,
reduce oven to 325.
Fill the pie with stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together
then poke holes in top.
Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.



  #15   Report Post  
Dave Stanton
 
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side up.
Place uncovered in 500° oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325°.
Bake till medium rare (150°) and let roast rest.
Pour stock over onions and drippings, carve the meat and
place the slices in the au jus.



Bisque à l?Enfant

Honor the memory of Grandma with this dish by utilizing her good
silver soup tureen and her great grandchildren (crawfish, crab or
lobster will work just as well, however this dish is classically
made with crawfish).

Stuffed infant heads, stuffed crawfish heads, stuffed crab or lobster shells;
make patties if shell or head is not available
(such as with packaged crawfish, crab, or headless baby).
Flour
oil
onions
bell peppers
garlic salt, pepper, etc.
3 cups chicken stock
2 sticks butter
3 tablespoons oil

First stuff the heads, or make the patties (see index)
then fry or bake.
Set aside to drain on paper towels.
Make a roux with butter, oil and flour,
brown vegetables in the roux, then add chicken stock and
allow to simmer for 20 minutes.
Add the patties or stuffed heads, and some loose crawfish,
lobster, long piglet, or what have you.
Cook on low for 15 minutes, then allow it to set for at least
15 minutes more.
Serve over steamed rice; this dish is very impressive!



Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

Babies really can be found under a cabbage leaf -
or one can arrange for ground beef to be found there instead.

8 large cabbage leaves
1 lb.




  #16   Report Post  
The Natural Philosopher
 
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tastes.

1 premature baby, born dead
Large bunch of mustard greens
2 white onions, 1 cup chopped celery
Vegetable oil (or hog fat)
Salt, pepper, garlic, etc.

Lightly brown onions, celery, garlic and meat in large heavy pot.
Add a little water and the greens (which should be thoroughly cleaned and washed).
Smother slowly for at least 2 hours, adding small amounts of water
when it starts to stick.
Stir frequently.
When ready - serve with rice, grilled smoked sausage, green salad, and iced tea.
Coffee and apple pie then brandy.



Maternity Ward Pot Luck Dinner

If you can?t get anything fresh from the hospital, nursery, or morgue;
you can at least get rid of all the leftovers in your refrigerator.

1 - 2 lbs. cubed meat (human flesh, chicken, turkey, beef...)
1 -2 lbs. coarsely chopped vegetables
(carrots, potatoes, turnips, cauliflower, cabbage...)
Bell pepper
onions
garlic
ginger
salt pepper, etc.
Olive oil
butter

Brown the meat and some chopped onions, peppers, and garilic in olive oil,
place in baking dish, layer with vegetables seasoning and butter.
Bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.
Serve with hot dinner rolls, fruit salad and sparkling water.



Bébé Buffet 1

Show off with whole roasted children replete with apples in mouths -
and babies? heads stuffed with wild rice. Or keep it simple with a
hearty main course such as stew, lasagna, or meat loaf.

Some suggestions

Pre-mie pot pies, beef stew, leg of lamb, stuffed chicken, roast pork spiral ham,
Cranberry pineapple salad, sweet potatoes in butter, vegetable platter, tossed salad with tomato and avocado, parsley new potatoes, spinich cucumber salad, fruit salad
Bran muffins, dinner rolls, soft breadsticks, rice pilaf, croissants
Apple cake with rum sauce, frosted banana nut bread sherbet, home made b


  #18   Report Post  
Bill
 
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In message om, Dave
Liquorice writes
On Sat, 25 Dec 2004 12:15:40 -0000, Paul Mc Cann wrote:

Do it quick before your one mouse becomes a family of 5 or 6


It probably already has, though if it's only just got cold at the OPs
location it might just be scout for the family. We've only had 4
vistors this year so far, so either the Weasels and Stoats or our
deportation of invaders 5 miles onto the fells is having an effect on
the local population.


I thought that this year I had managed to seal all their normal entry
points, just had new floors fitted downstairs and made sure there was no
access around central heating pipes but they have proved me wrong. In
past years they have come in by early November so for a while I was
feeling quite proud but no longer. Although it has been a bit milder
this year.

Last year I had proof of how stupid mice are though, two traps set side
by side and two mice caught overnight in the lounge. You could almost
hear the second one say " Oh dear look what's happened to my mate, ah
well never mind I'll just have this bit of chocolate and be on my way,
BANG."

Yes I have found chocolate good bait, also dry bread soaked in Baileys.

Tonight will tell!

--
Bill
  #19   Report Post  
Owain
 
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(such as with packaged crawfish, crab, or headless baby).
Flour
oil
onions
bell peppers
garlic salt, pepper, etc.
3 cups chicken stock
2 sticks butter
3 tablespoons oil

First stuff the heads, or make the patties (see index)
then fry or bake.
Set aside to drain on paper towels.
Make a roux with butter, oil and flour,
brown vegetables in the roux, then add chicken stock and
allow to simmer for 20 minutes.
Add the patties or stuffed heads, and some loose crawfish,
lobster, long piglet, or what have you.
Cook on low for 15 minutes, then allow it to set for at least
15 minutes more.
Serve over steamed rice; this dish is very impressive!



Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

Babies really can be found under a cabbage leaf -
or one can arrange for ground beef to be found there instead.

8 large cabbage leaves
1 lb. lean ground newborn human filets, or ground chuck
Onions
peppers
celery
garlic
soy sauce
salt pepper, etc
Olive oil
breadcrumbs
Tomato Gravy (see index)

Boil the cabbage leaves for 2 minutes to soften.
In skillet, brown the meat in a little olive oil,
then add onions, peppers, and celery (all chopped finely)
and season well.
Place in a large bowl and cool.
Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy,
enough to make the mixture pliable.
Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll.
Place seam down in a baking pan.
Ladle tomato gravy on top,
and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.



Umbilical Cordon Bleu

Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child,
so why not consume it?
Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.

4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts)
4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere


  #20   Report Post  
Bill
 
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4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese
Flour
eggwash (milk and eggs)
seasoned bread crumbs
1 onion
minced
salt
pepper
butter
olive oil

Pound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical
cords so they won?t be tough).
Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion
then fold in half, trimming neatly.
Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs;
allow to sit for a few minutes.
Sauté in butter and olive oil until golden brown,
about 6 minutes on each side.



Shish Kababes

As old as the hills, this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb,
poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans
are no exception!

High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)
1 inch cubes of tender meat, preferably from the nursery
Onions
bell peppers
Wooden or metal skewers

Marinate the meat overnight.
Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and
fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers.
Don?t be afraid to use a va




  #21   Report Post  
The Natural Philosopher
 
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Bill wrote:



There is a Christmas story that says that "nothing was stirring, not
even a mouse".
Well it is not true, came down this morning to open the pressies and
found that a mouse had got there first, through the wrapping paper and
the inner packet to --MY-- chocolate gingers!
Can any one suggest the most painful and inhumane way of destroying this
little beggar?


Drop it in battery acid.
  #22   Report Post  
Tony Williams
 
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Default

In article ,
Bill wrote:

Tony Williams writes
We have a 7-stone Rottweiler.......

[s]
Do you want to borrow her?


How much per hour?
Does she like 6 year old boys too?


She's very trustworthy with people, walks around the
local old peoples home every week, off the lead,
visiting her fans. Apparently many rescued dogs are
the same.

--
Tony Williams.
  #23   Report Post  
Ian Stirling
 
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cover, stick a cooking thermometer deep into one of the
baby?s buttocks and cook uncovered till thermometer reads 190°,
about another hour.



Pro-Choice Po-Boy

Soft-shelled crabs serve just as well in this classic southern delicacy.
The sandwich originated in New Orleans, where an abundance of abortion clinics
thrive and hot French bread is always available.

2 cleaned fetuses, head on
2 eggs
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 cup seasoned flour
oil enough for deep frying
1 loaf French bread
Lettuce
tomatoes
mayonnaise, etc.

Marinate the fetuses in the egg-mustard mixture.
Dredge thoroughly in flour.
Fry at 375° until crispy golden brown.
Remove and place on paper towels.



Holiday Youngster

One can easily adapt this recipe to ham, though as presented,
it violates no religious taboos against swine.

1 large toddler or small child, cleaned and de-headed
Kentucky Bourbon Sauce (see index)
1 large can pineapple slices
Whole cloves

Place him (or ham) or her in a large glass baking dish, buttocks up.
Tie with butcher string around and across so that he looks like
he?s crawling.
Glaze, then arrange pineapples and secure with cloves.
Bake uncovered in 350° oven till thermometer reaches 160°.



Cajun Babies

Just like crabs or crawfish, babies are boiled alive!
You don?t


  #24   Report Post  
Ian Stirling
 
Posts: n/a
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The Natural Philosopher wrote:
Bill wrote:



There is a Christmas story that says that "nothing was stirring, not
even a mouse".
Well it is not true, came down this morning to open the pressies and
found that a mouse had got there first, through the wrapping paper and
the inner packet to --MY-- chocolate gingers!
Can any one suggest the most painful and inhumane way of destroying this
little beggar?


Drop it in battery acid.


Deep-fat-fryer?

  #25   Report Post  
Dave Liquorice
 
Posts: n/a
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each of meat, gravy, and cheese.
Then bake at 350° for 45 minutes.
Serve on hot pasta with romano cheese.



Southern Fried Small-fry

Tastes like fried chicken, which works just as well.
In fact you may want to practice cutting up whole chickens
for frying before you go for the real thing.
Whole chicken is much more efficient and inexpensive than buying pieces.

1 tiny human, cut into pieces
2 cups flour
Onion, garlic
Salt
pepper
garlic powder
cayenne pepper
hot sauce, etc.
Oil for frying

Mix milk, eggs, hot sauce in a bowl, add chopped onion and garlic.
Season the meat liberally, and marinate for several hours.
Place seasoned flour in a paper or plastic shopping bag,
drop pieces in a few a time, shake to coat thoroughly,
then deep fry in hot oil (350°) for about 15 minutes.
Drain and place on paper towels.



Miscarriage with Mustard Greens

Why waste it? Otherwise, and in general, use ham or salt pork to season greens.
The technique of smothering greens can be used with many vegetables;
green beans work especially well. Meat is not necessary every day, don?t
be afraid to alter any dish to vegetarian tastes.

1 premature baby, born dead
Large bunch of mustard greens
2 white onions, 1 cup chopped celery
Vegetable oil (or hog fat)
Salt, pepper, garlic, etc.

Lightly brown onions, celery, garlic and meat in large heavy pot.
Add a little water and the greens (which should be thoroughly cleaned and washed).
Smother slowly for at least 2 hours, adding small amounts of water
when it starts to stick.
Stir frequently.
When ready - serve with rice, grilled smoked sausage, green salad, and iced tea.
Coffee and apple pie then brandy.



Maternity Ward Pot Luck Dinner

If you can?t get anything fresh from the hospital, nursery, or morgue;
you can at least get rid of all the leftovers in your refrigerator.

1 - 2 lbs. cubed meat (human flesh, chicken, turkey, beef...)
1 -2




  #26   Report Post  
Bill
 
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[...else...]

Ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters ye shall eat.
Leviticus 26:29


Roast Child with Cornbread Stuffing

Turkey may be substituted for this classic holiday feast.
Although time consuming, this dish seems to take longer than it actually does;
as the entire house is filled with such a heavenly aroma,
the waiting becomes almost unbearable.

1 whole child, cleaned and de-headed
1 batch cornbread stuffing (see index)
½ cup melted butter

Remove the giblets from the infant and set aside.
Stuff the cavity where the child?s genitals and anus were located
using ½ cup per pound of meat.
Tie the arms flat to the body, then pull the skin flaps up to close the cavity.
Now tie the thighs up tight to hold it all together.
Place breast side up in a large metal roasting pan.
Bake in 325° oven covered for 2 hours.
Remove cover, stick a cooking thermometer deep into one of the
baby?s buttocks and cook uncovered till thermometer reads 190°,
about another hour.



Pro-Choice Po-Boy

Soft-shelled crabs serve just as well in this classic southern delicacy.
The sandwich originated in New Orleans, where an abundance of abortion clinics
thrive


  #27   Report Post  
Tony Williams
 
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parsley
fresh cracked black pepper

Season and sauté the cutlets in olive oil till golden brown, remove.
Add the garlic and onions and cook down a bit.
Add some lemon juice and some zest, then de-glaze with stock.
Add a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce.
You are just about there, Pour the sauce over the cutlets,
top with parsley, lemon slices and cracked pepper.
Serve with spinach salad, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and iced tea...



Spaghetti with Real Italian Meatballs

If you don?t have an expendable bambino on hand,
you can use a pound of ground pork instead.
The secret to great meatballs, is to use very lean meat.

1 lb. ground flesh; human or pork
3 lb. ground beef
1 cup finely chopped onions
7 - 12 cloves garlic
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
½ cup milk, 2 eggs
Oregano
basil
salt
pepper
Italian seasoning, etc.
Tomato gravy (see index)
Fresh or at least freshly cooked spaghetti or other pasta

Mix the ground meats together in a large bowl,
then mix each of the other ingredients.
Make balls about the size of a baby?s fist
(there should be one lying around for reference).
Bake at 400°for about 25 minutes -
or you could fry them in olive oil.
Place the meatballs in the tomato gravy, and simmer for several hours.
Serve on spaghetti.
Accompany with green salad, garlic bread and red wine.



Newborn Parmesan

This classic Sicilian cuisine can easily be turned into Eggplant Parmesan
If you are planning a vegetarian meal. Or you could just as well use veal -
after all, you have to be careful - Sicilians are touchy about their young
family members...

6 newborn or veal cutlets
Tomato gravy (see index)
4 cups mozzarella, 1cup parmesan, 1cup romano
Seasoned bread crumbs mixed with
parmesan
romano
salt
pepper



  #28   Report Post  
Huge
 
Posts: n/a
Default

this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb,
poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans
are no exception!

High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)
1 inch cubes of tender meat, preferably from the nursery
Onions
bell peppers
Wooden or metal skewers

Marinate the meat overnight.
Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and
fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers.
Don?t be afraid to use a variety of meats.
Grill to medium rare,
serve with garlic cous-cous and sautéed asparagus.
Coffee and sherbet for desert then walnuts, cheese, and port.
Cigars for the gentlemen (and ladies if they so desire)!



Crock-Pot Crack Baby

When the quivering, hopelessly addicted crack baby succumbs to death,
get him immediately butchered and into the crock-pot, so that any
remaining toxins will not be fatal. But don?t cook it too long,
because like Blowfish, there is a perfect medium between the poisonous
and the stimulating. Though it may not have the same effect on your
guests, a whole chicken cooked in this fashion is also mighty tasty.

1 newborn - cocaine addicted, freshly expired, cleaned and butchered
Carrots
onions
leeks
celery
bell pepper
potatoes
Salt
pepper
garlic, etc
4 cups water

Cut the meat into natural pieces and brown very well in olive oil,
remove, then brown half of the onions, the bell pepper, and celery.
When brown, mix everything into the crock-pot, and in 6 to 8 hours you
have turned a hopeless tragedy into a heartwarming meal!



George?s Bloody Mary

Don?t shy away from this one, it is simply a cocktail variation of
good old Blood Stew. When a pig is killed, its throat is slit and
those present quaff a cup of hot blood to soften the wintry air.
From the dawn of man to th


  #29   Report Post  
raden
 
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of tender meat, preferably from the nursery
Onions
bell peppers
Wooden or metal skewers

Marinate the meat overnight.
Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and
fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers.
Don?t be afraid to use a variety of meats.
Grill to medium rare,
serve with garlic cous-cous and sautéed asparagus.
Coffee and sherbet for desert then walnuts, cheese, and port.
Cigars for the gentlemen (and ladies if they so desire)!



Crock-Pot Crack Baby

When the quivering, hopelessly addicted crack baby succumbs to death,
get him immediately butchered and into the crock-pot, so that any
remaining toxins will not be fatal. But don?t cook it too long,
because like Blowfish, there is a perfect medium between the poisonous
and the stimulating. Though it may not have the same effect on your
guests, a whole chicken cooked in this fashion is also mighty tasty.

1 newborn - cocaine addicted, freshly expired, cleaned and butchered
Carrots
onions
leeks
celery
bell pepper
potatoes
Salt
pepper
garlic, etc
4 cups water

Cut the meat into natural pieces and brown very well in olive oil,
remove, then brown half of the onions, the bell pepper, and celery.
When brown, mix everything into the crock-pot, and in 6 to 8 hours you
have turned a hopeless tragedy into a heartwarming meal!



George?s Bloody Mary

Don?t shy away from this one, it is simply a cocktail variation of
good old Blood Stew. When a pig is killed, its throat is slit and
those present quaff a cup of hot blood to soften the wintry air.
From the dawn of man to this day, human


  #30   Report Post  
Tony Williams
 
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In article ,
Tony Williams wrote:
parsley
fresh cracked black pepper

[snip]

That post was a complete fake, not sent by me.

--
Tony Williams.


  #32   Report Post  
Mike Hibbert
 
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Bill wrote:


There is a Christmas story that says that "nothing was stirring, not
even a mouse".
Well it is not true, came down this morning to open the pressies and
found that a mouse had got there first, through the wrapping paper and
the inner packet to --MY-- chocolate gingers!
Can any one suggest the most painful and inhumane way of destroying this
little beggar?


I think the latest Cliff Richard CD at full volume will teach them a lesson!
  #33   Report Post  
Bob Eager
 
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On Sat, 25 Dec 2004 12:05:48 UTC, "mrcheerful
."
wrote:

"Bill" wrote in message
...

There is a Christmas story that says that "nothing was stirring, not even
a mouse".
Well it is not true, came down this morning to open the pressies and found
that a mouse had got there first, through the wrapping paper and the inner
packet to --MY-- chocolate gingers!
Can any one suggest the most painful and inhumane way of destroying this
little beggar?


Variable voltage wire grid, that wakes you up so you can go and watch and
vary the frying voltage.


It's a good thing Mary's away...

--
Bob Eager
begin a new life...dump Windows!
  #34   Report Post  
The Natural Philosopher
 
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Tony Williams wrote:

In article ,
Tony Williams wrote:

parsley
fresh cracked black pepper


[snip]

That post was a complete fake, not sent by me.

I think they are coded messages to al qeada sleeprs, telling them how to
make turkey roast.

Can't be arsed to work out who has faked the headers.

  #35   Report Post  
Mike Dodd
 
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There are 4 or 5 'feral' cats around us and they seem to do a good job
on local vermin, including the odd pigeon, though twice I've witnessed a
hawk down a wood pigeon into the back garden. Strangely he seemed very
wary of 3 or 4 magpies who materialised within a few minutes and stalked
around him and his kill until he took off.


Going OT, however, you'll find that many birds will gang up on birds of prey
to get them out of the area before they have to roost. My parents were
involved for some time with the care of Owls (please don't get going on the
ethics of captive animals), however, one escaped and being a captive-breed
was unable to fend for itself, and was harassed from place to place by the
local bird population, from sparrows to crows.

I also have vague memories as a child of some BoP bringing its quarry down
in the back garden - the only reason we knew of that was the din from all
the birds who materialised on the scene. Just goes to show that its a
dog-eat-dog (or bird-eat-bird) world out there.

Mike





  #36   Report Post  
Owain
 
Posts: n/a
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"The Natural Philosopher" wrote
| Tony Williams wrote:
| That post was a complete fake, not sent by me.
| I think they are coded messages to al qeada sleeprs, telling
| them how to make turkey roast.

First seen in uk.comp.linux.

| Can't be arsed to work out who has faked the headers.

I wish somebody could.

Owain


  #37   Report Post  
S Viemeister
 
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Owain wrote:

"The Natural Philosopher" wrote
| Tony Williams wrote:
| That post was a complete fake, not sent by me.
| I think they are coded messages to al qeada sleeprs, telling
| them how to make turkey roast.

First seen in uk.comp.linux.

In the travel groups, too.

Sheila

  #38   Report Post  
Grimly Curmudgeon
 
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It was somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Paul Mc Cann
saying something like:

Can any one suggest the most painful and inhumane way of destroying this
little beggar?

Get a load of the old fashioned snap traps and bait them with chocolate.
Do it quick before your one mouse becomes a family of 5 or 6


Been doing a bit of mouse-catching myself, recently. The traditional
traps work well if baited with the dog-treat called 'Scmackos' and I've
also been using a couple of the new plastic traps. Woohoo... hair
trigger things and no chance of the mice backing off in time to escape.
--

Dave
  #39   Report Post  
Ian Stirling
 
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Ian Stirling wrote:
The Natural Philosopher wrote:
Bill wrote:



There is a Christmas story that says that "nothing was stirring, not
even a mouse".
Well it is not true, came down this morning to open the pressies and
found that a mouse had got there first, through the wrapping paper and
the inner packet to --MY-- chocolate gingers!
Can any one suggest the most painful and inhumane way of destroying this
little beggar?


Drop it in battery acid.


Deep-fat-fryer?


I have been asked to reconsider my previous reply.
There is a much better solution, kinder to animals.
Use a humane trap, and give the cat a christmas present too.
  #40   Report Post  
Andy Luckman (AJL Electronics)
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article , Bill
wrote:

Can any one suggest the most painful and inhumane way of destroying this
little beggar?


And a merry Christmas to you too. Why not just catch and evict the mouse?
Why do you have to be so cruel? Are you really so sadistic or is it a
bad taste wind up?


--
AJL Electronics (G6FGO) Ltd : Satellite and TV aerial systems
http://www.classicmicrocars.co.uk : http://www.ajlelectronics.co.uk

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