I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Stand in a bucket of cold water and make sure your hands are wet, make sure
the switch is in the 'on' position and carefully smash the bulb with a steel
rod without the use of goggles.
You won't need the replacement.

On 11/11/2012 20:41, Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Adam's your man

Yes, thoughts we have all had since little signs like, no user serviceable
parts inside came along.

Was there not a joke about how many health and safety officers does it take
to change a light bulb?

Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"Mrs Beattie" wrote in message
...
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

:-) :-)

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting 50% of.

--
Adam

In message , Mrs Beattie
writes
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Just buy some roman candles- plenty cheap enough this time of year

light blue touch paper and retire -oh sorry, you already are retired

you'll never drop another stitch, a fart or two maybe, but your knitting
will be intact

The empty cases could double up as a dildo for later


--
geoff

In article , says...

In message , Mrs Beattie
writes
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Just buy some roman candles- plenty cheap enough this time of year

light blue touch paper and retire -oh sorry, you already are retired

you'll never drop another stitch, a fart or two maybe, but your knitting
will be intact

The empty cases could double up as a dildo for later

Dildos should never be doubled up.
A flagrant violation of Health and Safety protocols.

--
Sam

"Sam Plusnet" wrote in message
...
In article , says...

In message , Mrs Beattie
writes
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Just buy some roman candles- plenty cheap enough this time of year

light blue touch paper and retire -oh sorry, you already are retired

you'll never drop another stitch, a fart or two maybe, but your knitting
will be intact

The empty cases could double up as a dildo for later

Dildos should never be doubled up.
A flagrant violation of Health and Safety protocols.

I think Mrs Beattie raises a couple of important points, or maybe it's the
cold. She can purchase a new box of filaments from ebay and repair the blown
bulb. I'd personally find it difficult to blow a bulb but it takes all
sorts. Now step ladders, some folks reckon that tall or short, they're all
the same lying down, beats me.

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 22:49:14 -0000, Sam Plusnet wrote:

In article , says...

In message , Mrs Beattie
writes
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Just buy some roman candles- plenty cheap enough this time of year

light blue touch paper and retire -oh sorry, you already are retired

you'll never drop another stitch, a fart or two maybe, but your knitting
will be intact

The empty cases could double up as a dildo for later

Dildos should never be doubled up.
A flagrant violation of Health and Safety protocols.

http://youtu.be/FmtI9FKQB1A

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Never raise your hands to your kids.
It leaves your groin unprotected.

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 21:46:51 -0000, ARW wrote:

Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

:-) :-)

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting 50% of.

I didn't think anyone liked redheads.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Excuse me, are you reading that paper you're sitting on?

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 20:51:51 -0000, newshound wrote:

On 11/11/2012 20:41, Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Adam's your man

Does Adam like old women who knit?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe - Frank Zappa

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 20:48:01 -0000, Phil L wrote:

Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Stand in a bucket of cold water and make sure your hands are wet, make sure
the switch is in the 'on' position and carefully smash the bulb with a steel
rod without the use of goggles.
You won't need the replacement.

The bucket of cold water won't help unless she routes it to earth somehow. If you use one of those earthing antistatic straps, be sure to remove the safety resistor.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe - Frank Zappa

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 21:00:12 +0000, Brian Gaff wrote:

Yes, thoughts we have all had since little signs like, no user
serviceable parts inside came along.

I know someone who points out that you can't be a user of it if it's
broken and can't be used, so taking it apart in order to repair it is
then fair game.

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 20:41:40 +0000, Mrs Beattie wrote:
What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder (do
I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it might be
cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of course, maybe I
can answer the door with not much on and get a discount.

Put all the plugs in your bath, sinks etc. and turn the taps on. When the
water level rises in your living room as a result, you can use a small
boat and reach the bulb - no need for a ladder.

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 22:10:07 +0000, geoff wrote:

In message , Mrs Beattie
writes
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Just buy some roman candles- plenty cheap enough this time of year

light blue touch paper and retire -oh sorry, you already are retired

Bloody Morrisons are selling loud fireworks at half price. My dog has
been paranoid for a fortnight or so, every night, on account of loud
fireworks a mile or so away.
Wasn't there some legislation proposed regarding public sale of loud
"bangers"?

--
Frank Erskine

"ARW" wrote in message ...

Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

:-) :-)

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting 50% of.

That'd make interesting reading in the local rag....

Retired Scottish redheaded widow dies after being impaled on an inch of hot
rod. It is suspected the 50% discount on the charge she asked for was paid
in kind and she dies from asphyxiation during laughing so hard.

On 12/11/2012 02:28, Frank Erskine wrote:


Bloody Morrisons are selling loud fireworks at half price. My dog has
been paranoid for a fortnight or so, every night, on account of loud
fireworks a mile or so away.
Wasn't there some legislation proposed regarding public sale of loud
"bangers"?

Can't see anyone doing anything about it except in the most extreme
cases - whatever the legislation.

I used to quite like the big display done by Round Table where I lived.
Seemed to satisfy most people and was far more spectacular than anything
you can buy from a shop. But now, I find them boring and annoying.

As a kid we used to play with bangers - but after a friend had one
shoved up his shirt, that burn was enough to turn me away from careless
playing.

--
Rod

On 11/11/2012 20:41, Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Excellent!

We may joke about it, but changing lamps is a regular job for me. This
very week - Tues PM & Thurs AM - I shall be getting paid to do just that
on a local business park.

--
Dave - The Medway Handyman www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 23:37:46 -0000, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

I didn't think anyone liked redheads.

Don't watch Dr Who then...

--
Cheers
Dave.

On 12/11/2012 09:14, The Medway Handyman wrote:

Excellent!

We may joke about it, but changing lamps is a regular job for me. This
very week - Tues PM & Thurs AM - I shall be getting paid to do just that
on a local business park.

And that's not so unreasonable any more. There is such a very wide
variety of lampholders, plus all the different fittings which have to be
opened in all sorts of different ways. It's often not even obvious
whether they are screw or bayonet.

On 12/11/12 11:15, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 23:37:46 -0000, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

I didn't think anyone liked redheads.

Don't watch Dr Who then...

Or lust after a ****ry supper?


--
Ineptocracy

(in-ep-toc-ra-cy) €“ a system of government where the least capable to
lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the
members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are
rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a
diminishing number of producers.

On Mon, 12 Nov 2012 11:15:42 -0000, Dave Liquorice wrote:

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 23:37:46 -0000, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

I didn't think anyone liked redheads.

Don't watch Dr Who then...

Apart from her.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

(( _______
_______ /\O O\
/O /\ / \ \
/ O /O \ / O \O____O\ ))
((/_____O/ \\ /O /
\O O\ / \ / O /
\O O\ O/ \/_____O/
\O____O\/ )) ))
((

On Mon, 12 Nov 2012 14:07:06 -0000, The Natural Philosopher wrote:

On 12/11/12 11:15, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 23:37:46 -0000, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

I didn't think anyone liked redheads.

Don't watch Dr Who then...

Or lust after a ****ry supper?

And a mouthful of red hairs? No.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

(( _______
_______ /\O O\
/O /\ / \ \
/ O /O \ / O \O____O\ ))
((/_____O/ \\ /O /
\O O\ / \ / O /
\O O\ O/ \/_____O/
\O____O\/ )) ))
((

On Mon, 12 Nov 2012 01:30:58 -0000, Jules Richardson wrote:

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 21:00:12 +0000, Brian Gaff wrote:

Yes, thoughts we have all had since little signs like, no user
serviceable parts inside came along.

I know someone who points out that you can't be a user of it if it's
broken and can't be used, so taking it apart in order to repair it is
then fair game.

HA!

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I"
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie ..... Always say, "I am"
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet"

On Mon, 12 Nov 2012 01:32:25 -0000, Jules Richardson wrote:

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 20:41:40 +0000, Mrs Beattie wrote:
What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder (do
I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it might be
cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of course, maybe I
can answer the door with not much on and get a discount.

Put all the plugs in your bath, sinks etc. and turn the taps on. When the
water level rises in your living room as a result, you can use a small
boat and reach the bulb - no need for a ladder.

Will I not then get a glow from the electricity running through the water from the sockets? So I don't even need the boat.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

What's the best part of sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.

On Mon, 12 Nov 2012 08:50:02 -0000, polygonum wrote:

On 12/11/2012 02:28, Frank Erskine wrote:


Bloody Morrisons are selling loud fireworks at half price. My dog has
been paranoid for a fortnight or so, every night, on account of loud
fireworks a mile or so away.
Wasn't there some legislation proposed regarding public sale of loud
"bangers"?

Can't see anyone doing anything about it except in the most extreme
cases - whatever the legislation.

I used to quite like the big display done by Round Table where I lived.
Seemed to satisfy most people and was far more spectacular than anything
you can buy from a shop. But now, I find them boring and annoying.

As a kid we used to play with bangers - but after a friend had one
shoved up his shirt, that burn was enough to turn me away from careless
playing.

Life's no fun without risks.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

An old black-and-white photograph of a man milking a cow was sent to a photo-finishing company.
The man was sitting behind the cow, and all that was visible of him were his legs and feet.
A note accompanying the order read: "This is the only picture I have of my great grandfather. Please move the cow so I can see what he looked like."

On Mon, 12 Nov 2012 02:28:01 -0000, Frank Erskine wrote:

On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 22:10:07 +0000, geoff wrote:

In message , Mrs Beattie
writes
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Just buy some roman candles- plenty cheap enough this time of year

light blue touch paper and retire -oh sorry, you already are retired

Bloody Morrisons are selling loud fireworks at half price. My dog has
been paranoid for a fortnight or so, every night, on account of loud
fireworks a mile or so away.
Wasn't there some legislation proposed regarding public sale of loud
"bangers"?

Why should the rest of the country ruin their fun because of your paranoid dog. Get it a trick cyclist or something.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

California lawmakers are now proposing an amendment that would allow 14 year olds a quarter vote and 16 year olds a half a vote in all state elections.
How stupid is this? Don't they have enough trouble counting WHOLE votes? How are they going to figure out fractions?!

On Mon, 12 Nov 2012 12:10:24 -0000, newshound wrote:

On 12/11/2012 09:14, The Medway Handyman wrote:

Excellent!

We may joke about it, but changing lamps is a regular job for me. This
very week - Tues PM & Thurs AM - I shall be getting paid to do just that
on a local business park.

And that's not so unreasonable any more. There is such a very wide
variety of lampholders, plus all the different fittings which have to be
opened in all sorts of different ways. It's often not even obvious
whether they are screw or bayonet.

I have known a few ****wits break fittings trying to open them the wrong way.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Why isn;t the apostrophe next to the L? Who ever uses the semicolon???

Am 11.11.2012 22:46, ARW wrote:
[Responding to some troll]

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

Scottish AND red head? Reminds me... You were the motorist? ;-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY8YeLErbEg
SCNR

On Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:16:28 -0000, Matthias Czech wrote:

Am 11.11.2012 22:46, ARW wrote:
[Responding to some troll]

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

Scottish AND red head? Reminds me... You were the motorist? ;-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY8YeLErbEg

ROTFPMSL!

The only sexy redhead I know is actually blonde, she dyes her hair red.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

If European immigrants voluntarily went to America and it turned out like that,
how come Britain sent a load of convicts to Australia and it turned out better?

On 11/11/2012 20:41, Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.



Stage 1: Fill out the risk assessment form.
Stage 2: Contact a scaffolding company. A ladder isn't safe at heights
above 2 inches.
Stage 3: Remove bulb
Stage 4: Get the light fitting PA Tested
Stage 5: Fit new energy saving bulb
Stage 6: Contact local Building Control office


--
mailto:news{at}admac(dot}myzen{dot}co{dot}uk

On Mon, 12 Nov 2012 22:09:35 -0000, alan wrote:

On 11/11/2012 20:41, Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.



Stage 1: Fill out the risk assessment form.
Stage 2: Contact a scaffolding company. A ladder isn't safe at heights
above 2 inches.
Stage 3: Remove bulb
Stage 4: Get the light fitting PA Tested
Stage 5: Fit new energy saving bulb
Stage 6: Contact local Building Control office

That is too close to the truth to be funny.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

How to interpret a Pregnancy Test kit:
Blue means not pregnant.
Pink means pregnant.
Brown means you had it in the wrong hole.

On Mon, 12 Nov 2012 23:15:21 -0000, Tim Streater wrote:

In article ,
alan wrote:

On 11/11/2012 20:41, Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.



Stage 1: Fill out the risk assessment form.

Stage 1a: Fill in the risk assessment form.

:-) I too hate this newspeak you get in offices. I can't think of any at the moment, but there are several classic stupid things managers tell you to do.

Stage 2: Contact a scaffolding company. A ladder isn't safe at heights
above 2 inches.
Stage 3: Remove bulb
Stage 4: Get the light fitting PA Tested
Stage 5: Fit new energy saving bulb
Stage 6: Contact local Building Control office



--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

"Sex is one of the most beautiful, wholesome, and natural things that money can buy." -- Steve Martin

On 12/11/2012 22:09, alan wrote:
On 11/11/2012 20:41, Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.



Stage 1: Fill out the risk assessment form.
Stage 2: Contact a scaffolding company. A ladder isn't safe at heights
above 2 inches.
Stage 3: Remove bulb
Stage 4: Get the light fitting PA Tested
Stage 5: Fit new energy saving bulb
Stage 6: Contact local Building Control office


Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

Stage 2A: Turn off power to entire area.

Removing a bulb without doing so is asking for trouble.

--
Dave - The Medway Handyman www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 08:43:25 +0000, The Medway Handyman wrote:
Stage 1: Fill out the risk assessment form.
Stage 2: Contact a scaffolding company. A ladder isn't safe at heights
above 2 inches.
Stage 3: Remove bulb
Stage 4: Get the light fitting PA Tested
Stage 5: Fit new energy saving bulb
Stage 6: Contact local Building Control office

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

Stage 2A: Turn off power to entire area.

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

You have Stage 2A in the wrong place it should be Stage 1B (I think there
is a 1A else where in the Subject.

You can't have scaffolders construction scaffolding near live electrical
cables.

--
Cheers
Dave.

On 11/11/2012 21:00, Brian Gaff wrote:
Yes, thoughts we have all had since little signs like, no user serviceable
parts inside came along.

Was there not a joke about how many health and safety officers does it take
to change a light bulb?

No, it was social workers. It takes just one, but the lamp must really
want to change.

--
F

On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 09:15:26 -0000, Dave Liquorice wrote:

On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 08:43:25 +0000, The Medway Handyman wrote:
Stage 1: Fill out the risk assessment form.
Stage 2: Contact a scaffolding company. A ladder isn't safe at heights
above 2 inches.
Stage 3: Remove bulb
Stage 4: Get the light fitting PA Tested
Stage 5: Fit new energy saving bulb
Stage 6: Contact local Building Control office

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

Stage 2A: Turn off power to entire area.

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

You have Stage 2A in the wrong place it should be Stage 1B (I think there
is a 1A else where in the Subject.

You can't have scaffolders construction scaffolding near live electrical
cables.

Indeed: http://youtu.be/XhBj7g0cnLQ

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

On 13/11/2012 09:15, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 08:43:25 +0000, The Medway Handyman wrote:
Stage 1: Fill out the risk assessment form.
Stage 2: Contact a scaffolding company. A ladder isn't safe at heights
above 2 inches.
Stage 3: Remove bulb
Stage 4: Get the light fitting PA Tested
Stage 5: Fit new energy saving bulb
Stage 6: Contact local Building Control office

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

Stage 2A: Turn off power to entire area.

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

You have Stage 2A in the wrong place it should be Stage 1B (I think there
is a 1A else where in the Subject.

You can't have scaffolders construction scaffolding near live electrical
cables.

OMG! What was I thinking?

--
Dave - The Medway Handyman www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 17:59:00 -0000, The Medway Handyman wrote:

On 13/11/2012 09:15, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 08:43:25 +0000, The Medway Handyman wrote:
Stage 1: Fill out the risk assessment form.
Stage 2: Contact a scaffolding company. A ladder isn't safe at heights
above 2 inches.
Stage 3: Remove bulb
Stage 4: Get the light fitting PA Tested
Stage 5: Fit new energy saving bulb
Stage 6: Contact local Building Control office

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

Stage 2A: Turn off power to entire area.

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

You have Stage 2A in the wrong place it should be Stage 1B (I think there
is a 1A else where in the Subject.

You can't have scaffolders construction scaffolding near live electrical
cables.

OMG! What was I thinking?

Not one of you suggested gloves. What if the bulb broke, the worker yelped, slipped off the scaffolding, banged his head on the way down, and even worse, landed on top of a health and safety officer?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

In article , The Medway Handyman
wrote:
On 13/11/2012 09:15, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 08:43:25 +0000, The Medway Handyman wrote:
Stage 1: Fill out the risk assessment form. Stage 2: Contact a
scaffolding company. A ladder isn't safe at heights above 2 inches.
Stage 3: Remove bulb Stage 4: Get the light fitting PA Tested Stage
5: Fit new energy saving bulb Stage 6: Contact local Building Control
office

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

Stage 2A: Turn off power to entire area.

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

You have Stage 2A in the wrong place it should be Stage 1B (I think
there is a 1A else where in the Subject.

You can't have scaffolders construction scaffolding near live
electrical cables.

OMG! What was I thinking?

couldn't you make the scaffolding out of plastic pipe?

--
From KT24

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