On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 00:40:53 +0000, Frank Erskine wrote:

We no longer have problems to be solved we have an issues.

In her first job, my daughter was told she wasn't allowed to say
'problem'. She had to say 'issue'!

"Problem" implies some sort of personal failure, such as might be
dealt with by a social worker, or incompetence,

No it doesn't it means something to solved or sorted out, a challenge.

whereas "issue" suggests a challenge.

An issue is either a single edition of a periodical or something to be
discussed. Nothing about making things work or coming to a solution,
perfect management speak.

"Personal failures" become "challenges" like short people are "height
challenged" or the obese "weight challenged". Call a spade a spade not a
person operated digging implement, they are short and/or fat.

--
Cheers
Dave.

On 14/11/2012 08:51, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 23:32:46 -0000, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

We no longer have problems to be solved we have an issues.

In her first job, my daughter was told she wasn't allowed to say
'problem'. She had to say 'issue'!

If I was her I would have told them to shove their job. I could not
put up with such bull****.

I'd have used the words as appropiate and told them if they had a problem
with that it was their issue.

Nicely worded example of turning a problem, not into an issue, but into
an opportunity to demonstrate the stupidity of the original edict. :-)

--
Rod

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 23:09:27 -0000, Dave Liquorice
wrote:

On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 21:52:29 +0000, geoff wrote:

I'm not saying you can't set fire to it, but mature bamboo is very
dense and difficult to set fire to

Is it not hollow?

Yeah - just like steel scaffolding poles

No, it's stacked sealed cylinders not a tube.

Have none of you lot disected a bit of bamboo garden cane?

I've never thought of a reason why I would want to do that.

Curiosity prompted by their complete failure to work as a pea shooter?

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:20:23 +0000, John Williamson
wrote:


Is it not hollow?

Yeah - just like steel scaffolding poles

No, it's stacked sealed cylinders not a tube.

Have none of you lot disected a bit of bamboo garden cane?

I've never thought of a reason why I would want to do that.

Curiosity prompted by their complete failure to work as a pea shooter?

Managed to hollow out a couple of yard lengths from some old bean
sticks. Used a bit of steel wire heated up . I was experimenting in
making a dribble bar for a flower bed and had no spare pipe around at
the time nor really wished to travel to town and spend out on any .
Bamboo was thick enough to force fit into some push 15mm plumbing
fittings I had about including T Piece and stop ends and drilling
the dribble holes was easy .
One of those jobs where you start to do something because you think
you can and end up finishing it because you are determined to, even
though the effort doesn't really justify the finished result.
Did work reasonably enough for one season though.

G.Harman

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 03:18:37 -0000, Jules Richardson wrote:

On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 23:32:14 +0000, Lieutenant Scott wrote:
He was talking about his IQ, not his age

That would be 135.

using a number system with a base of 6 - i.e. 59 to everyone else?

I'm a hex man myself. It's 309 to you lot.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Viagra Lite
For people who only want to masturbate

Viagrallium
A mix of Viagra and Vallium: if you don't get to ****, then you don't give a ****.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 09:12:51 -0000, polygonum wrote:

On 14/11/2012 08:51, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 23:32:46 -0000, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

We no longer have problems to be solved we have an issues.

In her first job, my daughter was told she wasn't allowed to say
'problem'. She had to say 'issue'!

If I was her I would have told them to shove their job. I could not
put up with such bull****.

I'd have used the words as appropiate and told them if they had a problem
with that it was their issue.

Nicely worded example of turning a problem, not into an issue, but into
an opportunity to demonstrate the stupidity of the original edict. :-)

Almost as good as Churchill's "This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put."

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:20:23 -0000, John Williamson wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 23:09:27 -0000, Dave Liquorice
wrote:

On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 21:52:29 +0000, geoff wrote:



Is it not hollow?

Yeah - just like steel scaffolding poles

No, it's stacked sealed cylinders not a tube.

Have none of you lot disected a bit of bamboo garden cane?

I've never thought of a reason why I would want to do that.

Curiosity prompted by their complete failure to work as a pea shooter?

How flexible are the dissections? If they can bounce the pea back, that would definitely prompt someone to investigate.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Sky have just won the rights to screen the first World Origami Championships from Tokyo.
Unfortunately it's only available on Paper View.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 00:07:40 -0000, geoff wrote:

In message op.wnqkwdmhytk5n5@i7-940, Lieutenant Scott
writes
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 23:38:05 -0000, Tim Streater
wrote:

In article op.wnqjn0cuytk5n5@i7-940, "Lieutenant Scott"
wrote:

On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 23:26:46 -0000, geoff wrote:

In message , Tim
Streater writes
In article op.wnqg26nsytk5n5@i7-940, "Lieutenant Scott"
wrote:

On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:35:47 -0000, Tim Streater
wrote:

In article op.wnqgt6qsytk5n5@i7-940, "Lieutenant Scott"

wrote:

We need to ban the word "issue". People are overusing it.
It's now a
generic term that could mean almost anything. When I were a lad, ...

Were you a midshipman back then? Or a powder monkey?
It wasn't that long ago we didn't have health and safety madness.
I'm 37.

Hmmm, 37, that doesn't get us back to Nelson. So no lash, press gang,
or weevils in the biscuit then.

He was talking about his IQ, not his age

That would be 135.

That still doesn't get us back to Nelson.

You'd be surprised what a man in his 130s can do.
http://youtu.be/kQJLwsmL0xI?t=36s

Yeah, but you're an insignificant little ****e, what's the point?

State 10 reasons why you are more significant than me.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was changing channels. She asked, what's on TV?
I said, Dust.
And then the fight started...

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 00:40:53 -0000, Frank Erskine wrote:

On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 23:29:10 +0000, F news@nowhere wrote:

On 13/11/2012 23:06, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:31:08 -0000, Lieutenant Scott wrote:

We need to ban the word "issue". People are overusing it. It's now a
generic term that could mean almost anything.

Hear hear.

We no longer have problems to be solved we have an issues.

In her first job, my daughter was told she wasn't allowed to say
'problem'. She had to say 'issue'!

"Problem" implies some sort of personal failure, such as might be
dealt with by a social worker, or incompetence, whereas "issue"
suggests a challenge.

"Problem" is probably now on the the list of politically incorrect words. Homosexuals (if we can still say that) and er.... "mentally challenged"? people are called something different every year.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Please keep your hands off the secretary's reproducing equipment.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 08:29:00 -0000, The Natural Philosopher wrote:

On 13/11/12 20:43, geoff wrote:
In message o.uk, Dave
Liquorice writes
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 18:06:18 +0000 (GMT), charles wrote:



OMG! What was I thinking?

couldn't you make the scaffolding out of plastic pipe?

Bamboo is a possibilty. But that has a fire risk...

Have you ever tried setting fire to bamboo?



Oh yes. Every year.

Are chopsticks bamboo?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately!

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 13:53:15 -0000, wrote:

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:20:23 +0000, John Williamson
wrote:




Yeah - just like steel scaffolding poles

No, it's stacked sealed cylinders not a tube.

Have none of you lot disected a bit of bamboo garden cane?

I've never thought of a reason why I would want to do that.

Curiosity prompted by their complete failure to work as a pea shooter?

Managed to hollow out a couple of yard lengths from some old bean
sticks. Used a bit of steel wire heated up . I was experimenting in
making a dribble bar for a flower bed and had no spare pipe around at
the time nor really wished to travel to town and spend out on any .
Bamboo was thick enough to force fit into some push 15mm plumbing
fittings I had about including T Piece and stop ends and drilling
the dribble holes was easy .
One of those jobs where you start to do something because you think
you can and end up finishing it because you are determined to, even
though the effort doesn't really justify the finished result.
Did work reasonably enough for one season though.

Presumably it goes rotten fairly quick though?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Peter is now listening to "Guo Yi & Guo Yue - Mongolian Horse"

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:20:23 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
I've never thought of a reason why I would want to do that.

Curiosity prompted by their complete failure to work as a pea shooter?

How flexible are the dissections? If they can bounce the pea back, that
would definitely prompt someone to investigate.

They just block the tube so you can't blow down it. If you can't get any
airflow, the pea won't move. They're also difficult to remove in a way
that gives you a smooth bore so you get a good seal round the pea for
best muzzle velocity.

I was a precocious little soandso at primary school.

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 08:29:00 -0000, The Natural Philosopher
wrote:

On 13/11/12 20:43, geoff wrote:
In message o.uk, Dave
Liquorice writes
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 18:06:18 +0000 (GMT), charles wrote:



OMG! What was I thinking?

couldn't you make the scaffolding out of plastic pipe?

Bamboo is a possibilty. But that has a fire risk...

Have you ever tried setting fire to bamboo?



Oh yes. Every year.

Are chopsticks bamboo?

Some of them are.

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 20:16:15 -0000, John Williamson wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:20:23 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
I've never thought of a reason why I would want to do that.

Curiosity prompted by their complete failure to work as a pea shooter?

How flexible are the dissections? If they can bounce the pea back, that
would definitely prompt someone to investigate.

They just block the tube so you can't blow down it. If you can't get any
airflow, the pea won't move.

I've never used one, we always made bow and arrows. I assumed that you started with the pea in your mouth, so it would still accelerate before it went into the tube, even if blocked.

They're also difficult to remove in a way
that gives you a smooth bore so you get a good seal round the pea for
best muzzle velocity.

What did you use instead? PVC pipe?

I was a precocious little soandso at primary school.

I once stapled an entire shelf of books together so when one was removed there was a bit of a mess.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Contrary to popular belief, the most dangerous animal is not the lion or the tiger. The most dangerous animal is a shark riding on an elephant, trampling and eating everything it sees.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 20:19:04 -0000, John Williamson wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 08:29:00 -0000, The Natural Philosopher
wrote:

On 13/11/12 20:43, geoff wrote:
In message o.uk, Dave
Liquorice writes
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 18:06:18 +0000 (GMT), charles wrote:




Bamboo is a possibilty. But that has a fire risk...

Have you ever tried setting fire to bamboo?



Oh yes. Every year.

Are chopsticks bamboo?

Some of them are.

They should be used in the meal before http://youtu.be/9N3iFqElOG0

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Capitalism: Man exploiting man.
Socialism: The reverse.

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 20:16:15 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:20:23 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
I've never thought of a reason why I would want to do that.

Curiosity prompted by their complete failure to work as a pea shooter?

How flexible are the dissections? If they can bounce the pea back, that
would definitely prompt someone to investigate.

They just block the tube so you can't blow down it. If you can't get any
airflow, the pea won't move.

I've never used one, we always made bow and arrows. I assumed that you
started with the pea in your mouth, so it would still accelerate before
it went into the tube, even if blocked.

You've not fired many peashooters, have you? Before blowing, you insert
the pea into the end of the pipe with your tongue. It is possible to
hold a surprisingly large number of peas in your mouth, should you
require an automatic pistol type effect.

They're also difficult to remove in a way
that gives you a smooth bore so you get a good seal round the pea for
best muzzle velocity.

What did you use instead? PVC pipe?

When I was at school, it was more likely to be copper. PVC wasn't
cheap... If a mate's dad had just had the new fangled microbore central
heating installed with the 3/8th inch pipe, there were always plenty of
offcuts around.

I was a precocious little soandso at primary school.

I once stapled an entire shelf of books together so when one was removed
there was a bit of a mess.

That's not precocious, that's just nasty and stupid.

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 20:41:31 -0000, John Williamson wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 20:16:15 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:20:23 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:

Curiosity prompted by their complete failure to work as a pea shooter?

How flexible are the dissections? If they can bounce the pea back, that
would definitely prompt someone to investigate.

They just block the tube so you can't blow down it. If you can't get any
airflow, the pea won't move.

I've never used one, we always made bow and arrows. I assumed that you
started with the pea in your mouth, so it would still accelerate before
it went into the tube, even if blocked.

You've not fired many peashooters, have you?

Correct, I said "I've never used one".

Before blowing, you insert
the pea into the end of the pipe with your tongue. It is possible to
hold a surprisingly large number of peas in your mouth, should you
require an automatic pistol type effect.

But what do you look like when the holster is full?

What happens if you load TWO peas into the end of the pipe?
Please give detailed results including velocities, veering angles, distance the other guy still says "OW!", etc.

They're also difficult to remove in a way
that gives you a smooth bore so you get a good seal round the pea for
best muzzle velocity.

What did you use instead? PVC pipe?

When I was at school, it was more likely to be copper. PVC wasn't
cheap... If a mate's dad had just had the new fangled microbore central
heating installed with the 3/8th inch pipe, there were always plenty of
offcuts around.

That's not very microbore.

I was a precocious little soandso at primary school.

I once stapled an entire shelf of books together so when one was removed
there was a bit of a mess.

That's not precocious, that's just nasty and stupid.

I didn't mean I was, but I was a tearaway, and very good at not getting caught.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Confucius say: "War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 20:41:31 -0000, John Williamson
Before blowing, you insert
the pea into the end of the pipe with your tongue. It is possible to
hold a surprisingly large number of peas in your mouth, should you
require an automatic pistol type effect.

But what do you look like when the holster is full?

A hamster, of course. What d'you expect?

They're also difficult to remove in a way
that gives you a smooth bore so you get a good seal round the pea for
best muzzle velocity.

What did you use instead? PVC pipe?

When I was at school, it was more likely to be copper. PVC wasn't
cheap... If a mate's dad had just had the new fangled microbore central
heating installed with the 3/8th inch pipe, there were always plenty of
offcuts around.

That's not very microbore.

It was by the normal standards of the day. Normal bore central heating
was about 2 inches diameter and circulation was ensured by convection.



--
Tciao for Now!

John.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:16:51 -0000, John Williamson wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 20:41:31 -0000, John Williamson
Before blowing, you insert
the pea into the end of the pipe with your tongue. It is possible to
hold a surprisingly large number of peas in your mouth, should you
require an automatic pistol type effect.

But what do you look like when the holster is full?

A hamster, of course. What d'you expect?

Surprisingly, I cannot find evidence of a world record being set for the number of peas in someone's mouth.

They're also difficult to remove in a way
that gives you a smooth bore so you get a good seal round the pea for
best muzzle velocity.

What did you use instead? PVC pipe?

When I was at school, it was more likely to be copper. PVC wasn't
cheap... If a mate's dad had just had the new fangled microbore central
heating installed with the 3/8th inch pipe, there were always plenty of
offcuts around.

That's not very microbore.

It was by the normal standards of the day. Normal bore central heating
was about 2 inches diameter and circulation was ensured by convection.

No pump?

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Nthkentman wrote:
"ARW" wrote in message ...

Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a
qualified electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with
only my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it
illegal to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of
them LED things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

:-) :-)

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting 50% of.

That'd make interesting reading in the local rag....

Retired Scottish redheaded widow dies after being impaled on an inch
of hot rod. It is suspected the 50% discount on the charge she asked
for was paid in kind and she dies from asphyxiation during laughing
so hard.

I would be happy to settle down with a Scottish red head.

They are tigers in bed.

--
Adam

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:30:52 -0000, ARW wrote:

Nthkentman wrote:
"ARW" wrote in message ...

Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a
qualified electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with
only my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it
illegal to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of
them LED things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

:-) :-)

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting 50% of.

That'd make interesting reading in the local rag....

Retired Scottish redheaded widow dies after being impaled on an inch
of hot rod. It is suspected the 50% discount on the charge she asked
for was paid in kind and she dies from asphyxiation during laughing
so hard.

I would be happy to settle down with a Scottish red head.

They are tigers in bed.

Not just in bed:
"Researchers at the University of Louisville discovered that, on average, people born with red hair require about 20 percent more anaesthesia to obtain satisfactory sedation."

Trouble is when they get older you probably won't want them in bed:
"Their red pigment is an inadequate filter of sunlight and their skin is more susceptible to sunburn, skin cancer and wrinkling with age."

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:16:51 -0000, John Williamson

It was by the normal standards of the day. Normal bore central heating
was about 2 inches diameter and circulation was ensured by convection.

No pump?

That's what circulation by convection normally means, yes.

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:40:13 -0000, John Williamson wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:16:51 -0000, John Williamson

It was by the normal standards of the day. Normal bore central heating
was about 2 inches diameter and circulation was ensured by convection.

No pump?

That's what circulation by convection normally means, yes.

I thought maybe you meant assisted by convection.

That sounds a good idea, 1 less pump to go wrong. I assume it wasn't so effective at getting the water round quickly.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Some "chinese english" instructions for an automatic light switch, needless to say I did not attempt to follow them during the installation....

The surface design is facility, comely but not losing generosity, it will not have accidented feeling after installation.
Wide working voltage: you will not be worried when you go all over Europe carrying it.
You could fix the sensor with two screws on the junction box in circular one, also fix it with special installation shelf.
In a word, whether the junction box installation orientation is true, it makes the installation flatly.
The lamp will be on automatically when you knock at the door or say "I am coming back".
It will make your home warmer and more romantic.
Penetrate the setscrew into installation hole, block on radiator to aim at the installation hole on connection box.
Let electrician or experienced human install it.
The unrest objects can't be regarded as the installation basis-face.
Don't open the case for your safety if you find the hitch after installation.
If there is any difference between instruction and products, please give priority to product, sorry not to inform you again.

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:30:52 -0000, ARW
wrote:
Nthkentman wrote:
"ARW" wrote in message ...

Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but
after reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be
a qualified electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with
only my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it
illegal to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one
of them LED things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small
chair, but apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to
buy a stepladder (do I need to go on a course to use one?) just
for one bulb, but it might be cheaper than an electrician,
unless he's good looking of course, maybe I can answer the door
with not much on and get a discount.

:-) :-)

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting 50% of.

That'd make interesting reading in the local rag....

Retired Scottish redheaded widow dies after being impaled on an
inch of hot rod. It is suspected the 50% discount on the charge
she asked for was paid in kind and she dies from asphyxiation
during laughing so hard.

I would be happy to settle down with a Scottish red head.

They are tigers in bed.

Not just in bed:
"Researchers at the University of Louisville discovered that, on
average, people born with red hair require about 20 percent more
anaesthesia to obtain satisfactory sedation."
Trouble is when they get older you probably won't want them in bed:

The idea was that she would be 20 years younger than me.

--
Adam

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:48:13 -0000, ARW wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:30:52 -0000, ARW
wrote:
Nthkentman wrote:
"ARW" wrote in message ...

Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but
after reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be
a qualified electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with
only my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it
illegal to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one
of them LED things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small
chair, but apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to
buy a stepladder (do I need to go on a course to use one?) just
for one bulb, but it might be cheaper than an electrician,
unless he's good looking of course, maybe I can answer the door
with not much on and get a discount.

:-) :-)

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting 50% of.

That'd make interesting reading in the local rag....

Retired Scottish redheaded widow dies after being impaled on an
inch of hot rod. It is suspected the 50% discount on the charge
she asked for was paid in kind and she dies from asphyxiation
during laughing so hard.

I would be happy to settle down with a Scottish red head.

They are tigers in bed.

Not just in bed:
"Researchers at the University of Louisville discovered that, on
average, people born with red hair require about 20 percent more
anaesthesia to obtain satisfactory sedation."
Trouble is when they get older you probably won't want them in bed:

The idea was that she would be 20 years younger than me.

If I did that I'd be in trouble with the parents.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

"Hi, It's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is 'Share the love.'" BEEP.
"Um, yeah, hello? This is the VD clinic calling. Your test results are back and you're positive. Stop sharing the love."

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:40:13 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:16:51 -0000, John Williamson

It was by the normal standards of the day. Normal bore central heating
was about 2 inches diameter and circulation was ensured by convection.

No pump?

That's what circulation by convection normally means, yes.

I thought maybe you meant assisted by convection.

That sounds a good idea, 1 less pump to go wrong. I assume it wasn't so
effective at getting the water round quickly.

Hence the large pipe bore. The problem was that it made it a right b1tch
to fit in most homes, so central heating was the exclusive preserve of
the rich and premises such as hospitals and schools.

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:48:13 -0000, ARW
wrote:
Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:30:52 -0000, ARW
wrote:
Nthkentman wrote:
"ARW" wrote in message ...

Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room,
but after reading the instructions on the fitting it says I
must be a qualified electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now
with only my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite
difficult. If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right
bulb? Is
it illegal to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to
get one of them LED things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small
chair, but apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want
to buy a stepladder (do I need to go on a course to use
one?) just for one bulb, but it might be cheaper than an
electrician, unless he's good looking of course, maybe I
can answer the door with not much on and get a discount.

:-) :-)

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red
head. However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting
50%
of. That'd make interesting reading in the local rag....

Retired Scottish redheaded widow dies after being impaled on
an inch of hot rod. It is suspected the 50% discount on the
charge she asked for was paid in kind and she dies from
asphyxiation during laughing so hard.

I would be happy to settle down with a Scottish red head.

They are tigers in bed.

Not just in bed:
"Researchers at the University of Louisville discovered that, on
average, people born with red hair require about 20 percent more
anaesthesia to obtain satisfactory sedation."
Trouble is when they get older you probably won't want them in
bed:

The idea was that she would be 20 years younger than me.

If I did that I'd be in trouble with the parents.

So give her mother a good seeing to then.

--
Adam

In message op.wnp4d5poytk5n5@i7-940, Lieutenant Scott
writes
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 17:59:00 -0000, The Medway Handyman
wrote:

On 13/11/2012 09:15, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 08:43:25 +0000, The Medway Handyman wrote:
Stage 1: Fill out the risk assessment form.
Stage 2: Contact a scaffolding company. A ladder isn't safe at heights
above 2 inches.
Stage 3: Remove bulb
Stage 4: Get the light fitting PA Tested
Stage 5: Fit new energy saving bulb
Stage 6: Contact local Building Control office

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

Stage 2A: Turn off power to entire area.

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

You have Stage 2A in the wrong place it should be Stage 1B (I think there
is a 1A else where in the Subject.

You can't have scaffolders construction scaffolding near live electrical
cables.

OMG! What was I thinking?

Not one of you suggested gloves. What if the bulb broke, the worker
yelped, slipped off the scaffolding, banged his head on the way down,
and even worse, landed on top of a health and safety officer?

Or goggles, or Hi-viz jacket so you can be seen in the darkened room -
after you've fitted the low energy light bulb of course.
--
bert

In message op.wnqgt6qsytk5n5@i7-940, Lieutenant Scott
writes
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:10:22 -0000, geoff wrote:

In message o.uk, Dave
Liquorice writes
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 21:35:40 +0000, geoff wrote:

I'm not saying you can't set fire to it, but mature bamboo is very
dense and difficult to set fire to

It does burn and there is a danger of explosion from the air trapped in
each of the chambers... Bamboo is not a hollow straw but a stack of
sealed cylinders.

If you're working on a building site in India or Bangladesh,

They undercut our prices because they don't waste money on health and safety.

bamboo catching fire is so far down the list of health and safety issues that
its not even off the starting blocks

We need to ban the word "issue". People are overusing it. It's now a
generic term that could mean almost anything. When I were a lad, an
issue was one of a series of magazines. Instead of "health and safety
issue", try saying "it's sharp", "it's explosive", or "it's slippery".

What's wrong with "children"
--
bert

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 22:28:06 -0000, Tim Streater wrote:

In article ,
John Williamson wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 20:16:15 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:20:23 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
I've never thought of a reason why I would want to do that.

Curiosity prompted by their complete failure to work as a pea shooter?

How flexible are the dissections? If they can bounce the pea back, that
would definitely prompt someone to investigate.

They just block the tube so you can't blow down it. If you can't get any
airflow, the pea won't move.

I've never used one, we always made bow and arrows. I assumed that you
started with the pea in your mouth, so it would still accelerate before
it went into the tube, even if blocked.

You've not fired many peashooters, have you? Before blowing, you insert
the pea into the end of the pipe with your tongue. It is possible to
hold a surprisingly large number of peas in your mouth, should you
require an automatic pistol type effect.

Pearl barley is best for this.

http://youtu.be/s0T_skps21E

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

"I wonder who discovered we could get milk from cows and what the **** did he think he was doing?!" -- Billy Connolly

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 22:28:59 -0000, Tim Streater wrote:

In article op.wnr7mvgpytk5n5@i7-940, "Lieutenant Scott"
wrote:

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 20:41:31 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 20:16:15 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 11:20:23 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:

Curiosity prompted by their complete failure to work as a pea shooter?

How flexible are the dissections? If they can bounce the pea back, that
would definitely prompt someone to investigate.

They just block the tube so you can't blow down it. If you can't get any
airflow, the pea won't move.

I've never used one, we always made bow and arrows. I assumed that you
started with the pea in your mouth, so it would still accelerate before
it went into the tube, even if blocked.

You've not fired many peashooters, have you?

Correct, I said "I've never used one".

Before blowing, you insert
the pea into the end of the pipe with your tongue. It is possible to
hold a surprisingly large number of peas in your mouth, should you
require an automatic pistol type effect.

But what do you look like when the holster is full?

You look like a guinea-pig.

There's no need for personal insults. You look like the back end of a llama.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

Windows 95: n. 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 22:03:17 -0000, John Williamson wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:40:13 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:16:51 -0000, John Williamson

It was by the normal standards of the day. Normal bore central heating
was about 2 inches diameter and circulation was ensured by convection.

No pump?

That's what circulation by convection normally means, yes.

I thought maybe you meant assisted by convection.

That sounds a good idea, 1 less pump to go wrong. I assume it wasn't so
effective at getting the water round quickly.

Hence the large pipe bore. The problem was that it made it a right b1tch

A b1tch? Are we in America?

to fit in most homes, so central heating was the exclusive preserve of
the rich and premises such as hospitals and schools.

I've seen such huge pipes in old commercial buildings. I had always assumed the big pipes were because it was a big place with lots of radiators to feed.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

While taking down the vitals for a soon-to-be mom, I asked how much she weighed.
"I really don't know," she said.
"Well, more or less," I prompted.
"More, I guess," she answered sadly.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 22:04:56 -0000, ARW wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:48:13 -0000, ARW
wrote:
Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:30:52 -0000, ARW
wrote:
Nthkentman wrote:
"ARW" wrote in message ...

Mrs Beattie wrote:
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room,
but after reading the instructions on the fitting it says I
must be a qualified electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now
with only my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite
difficult. If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right
bulb? Is
it illegal to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to
get one of them LED things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small
chair, but apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want
to buy a stepladder (do I need to go on a course to use
one?) just for one bulb, but it might be cheaper than an
electrician, unless he's good looking of course, maybe I
can answer the door with not much on and get a discount.

:-) :-)

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red
head. However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting
50%
of. That'd make interesting reading in the local rag....

Retired Scottish redheaded widow dies after being impaled on
an inch of hot rod. It is suspected the 50% discount on the
charge she asked for was paid in kind and she dies from
asphyxiation during laughing so hard.

I would be happy to settle down with a Scottish red head.

They are tigers in bed.

Not just in bed:
"Researchers at the University of Louisville discovered that, on
average, people born with red hair require about 20 percent more
anaesthesia to obtain satisfactory sedation."
Trouble is when they get older you probably won't want them in
bed:

The idea was that she would be 20 years younger than me.

If I did that I'd be in trouble with the parents.

So give her mother a good seeing to then.

Bribery and corruption.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

When the Viagra virus comes to your PC, all your software becomes hardware.

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 22:15:51 -0000, bert ] wrote:

In message op.wnp4d5poytk5n5@i7-940, Lieutenant Scott
writes
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 17:59:00 -0000, The Medway Handyman
wrote:

On 13/11/2012 09:15, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 08:43:25 +0000, The Medway Handyman wrote:


Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

Stage 2A: Turn off power to entire area.

Whats the matter with you man? Are you trying to kill people?

You have Stage 2A in the wrong place it should be Stage 1B (I think there
is a 1A else where in the Subject.

You can't have scaffolders construction scaffolding near live electrical
cables.

OMG! What was I thinking?

Not one of you suggested gloves. What if the bulb broke, the worker
yelped, slipped off the scaffolding, banged his head on the way down,
and even worse, landed on top of a health and safety officer?

Or goggles, or Hi-viz jacket so you can be seen in the darkened room -
after you've fitted the low energy light bulb of course.

Hi viz jackets can make you look so silly.....
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4120/...538e04f736.jpg

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

A young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?"
"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it.
"But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"

On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 22:19:54 -0000, bert ] wrote:

In message op.wnqgt6qsytk5n5@i7-940, Lieutenant Scott
writes
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:10:22 -0000, geoff wrote:

In message o.uk, Dave
Liquorice writes
On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 21:35:40 +0000, geoff wrote:

I'm not saying you can't set fire to it, but mature bamboo is very
dense and difficult to set fire to

It does burn and there is a danger of explosion from the air trapped in
each of the chambers... Bamboo is not a hollow straw but a stack of
sealed cylinders.

If you're working on a building site in India or Bangladesh,

They undercut our prices because they don't waste money on health and safety.

bamboo catching fire is so far down the list of health and safety issues that
its not even off the starting blocks

We need to ban the word "issue". People are overusing it. It's now a
generic term that could mean almost anything. When I were a lad, an
issue was one of a series of magazines. Instead of "health and safety
issue", try saying "it's sharp", "it's explosive", or "it's slippery".

What's wrong with "children"

"When I were a children" fails my newsreader's grammar check.

--
http://petersparrots.com
http://petersphotos.com

It turns out that several protected, rare birds in Germany have been feeding on a species of protected, rare fish. In response to this dilemma, exasperated German officials have decided to do the only thing that makes sense in this kind of a situation - kill all the environmentalists.

"Lieutenant Scott" wrote in message
newsp.wnshkle6ytk5n5@i7-940...
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 22:03:17 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:40:13 -0000, John Williamson
wrote:

Lieutenant Scott wrote:
On Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:16:51 -0000, John Williamson

It was by the normal standards of the day. Normal bore central
heating
was about 2 inches diameter and circulation was ensured by
convection.

No pump?

That's what circulation by convection normally means, yes.

I thought maybe you meant assisted by convection.

That sounds a good idea, 1 less pump to go wrong. I assume it wasn't so
effective at getting the water round quickly.

Hence the large pipe bore. The problem was that it made it a right b1tch

A b1tch? Are we in America?

to fit in most homes, so central heating was the exclusive preserve of
the rich and premises such as hospitals and schools.

I've seen such huge pipes in old commercial buildings. I had always
assumed the big pipes were because it was a big place with lots of
radiators to feed.

That's cos you have a degree.

On 15/11/2012 00:42, Lieutenant Scott wrote:


I've seen such huge pipes in old commercial buildings. I had always
assumed the big pipes were because it was a big place with lots of
radiators to feed.

At my school, many rooms only had a thick pipe going round the room - no
radiators at all - from memory somewhat larger than two inches but that
is all too fallible. But the scale of the place must have required pumps
in the system.

Yes - the dormitories were very cold in winter.

--
Rod

polygonum wrote:
On 15/11/2012 00:42, Lieutenant Scott wrote:


I've seen such huge pipes in old commercial buildings. I had always
assumed the big pipes were because it was a big place with lots of
radiators to feed.

At my school, many rooms only had a thick pipe going round the room - no
radiators at all - from memory somewhat larger than two inches but that
is all too fallible. But the scale of the place must have required pumps
in the system.

By the standards of the 60s and earlier, that would give enough heat off
to keep the room at a legal temperature (The offices, shops and railway
premises act laid these down, and public buildings followed these
standards. They were about 5C lower than is the norm now.)

The pipe round the rooms would have been about 4 inches diameter and
quite often was hot enough to be painful if you accidentally touched it.

Yes - the dormitories were very cold in winter.

It was thought to build character. It also saved shovelling coal all night.

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

On 15/11/2012 10:12, John Williamson wrote:
polygonum wrote:
On 15/11/2012 00:42, Lieutenant Scott wrote:


I've seen such huge pipes in old commercial buildings. I had always
assumed the big pipes were because it was a big place with lots of
radiators to feed.

At my school, many rooms only had a thick pipe going round the room -
no radiators at all - from memory somewhat larger than two inches but
that is all too fallible. But the scale of the place must have
required pumps in the system.

By the standards of the 60s and earlier, that would give enough heat off
to keep the room at a legal temperature (The offices, shops and railway
premises act laid these down, and public buildings followed these
standards. They were about 5C lower than is the norm now.)

The pipe round the rooms would have been about 4 inches diameter and
quite often was hot enough to be painful if you accidentally touched it.

Yes - the dormitories were very cold in winter.

It was thought to build character. It also saved shovelling coal all night.

Agreed - somewhere around four inches sounds about right.

You must have been somewhere soft! Hot enough to be described as "barely
warm" is about as far as I would go. And in a room large enough for 30
beds, with high ceiling and lots of rattly sash windows, very exposed to
winds outside, that heat didn't seem to go very far at all!

Character suitably built or destroyed. :-) And it was oil fired!

--
Rod

On Thu, 15 Nov 2012 10:12:58 +0000, John Williamson
wrote:


At my school, many rooms only had a thick pipe going round the room - no
radiators at all - from memory somewhat larger than two inches

By the standards of the 60s and earlier, that would give enough heat off
to keep the room at a legal temperature (The offices, shops and railway
premises act laid these down, and public buildings followed these
standards. They were about 5C lower than is the norm now.)

The pipe round the rooms would have been about 4 inches diameter and
quite often was hot enough to be painful if you accidentally touched it.

Good for drying out multifarious items of wet clothing
,footwear,homework and oneself if you got soaked walking or cycling
into school. The odour so produced from a thorough spray from.
traveling along mud and dung saturated lanes would probably upset
some modern children, whose idea of a country smell comes from a
chemistry lab and a plug in air freshener. Does any one make a Damp
Cow scent with overtones of Lamb Scour and Iodine?
A foil wrapped pie or pasty would get nicely hot as well but not all
teachers would tolerate that.
Sitting on the pipes thawing out after playing rugby or a cross
country run in freezing conditions while waiting for a shower was
popular as well. That's when the pipes got hottest the because
caretaker stoked up the boiler to ensure there was plenty of hot water
available.
Pipes were about 90 years old,boiler about 30.

G.Harman