On Sun, 11 Nov 2012 22:49:14 -0000, Sam Plusnet wrote:

In article , says...

In message , Mrs Beattie
writes
I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after
reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified
electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only
my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal
to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED
things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but
apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder
(do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it
might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of
course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a
discount.

Just buy some roman candles- plenty cheap enough this time of year

light blue touch paper and retire -oh sorry, you already are retired

you'll never drop another stitch, a fart or two maybe, but your knitting
will be intact

The empty cases could double up as a dildo for later

Dildos should never be doubled up.
A flagrant violation of Health and Safety protocols.

http://youtu.be/FmtI9FKQB1A

--
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Never raise your hands to your kids.
It leaves your groin unprotected.