In message , ARWadsworth
writes
Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
ARWadsworth wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main
dealer to swap it!).

I am getting a bit ****ed off with having to keep jump starting the
bloody car - 5 times in the last two days.

I had a neighbour like that. Long since departed. He was a teacher, so
perhaps used to being obeyed.

What a coincidence, my neighbour is a teacher.

My wife is a teacher, don't worry, you get used to it after a while and
learn to ignore it and not be offended. I'm still learning after 15
years.



--
Bill

On 24/12/10 12:41, ARWadsworth wrote:
Dave Plowman wrote:
In ,
wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main
dealer to swap it!).

I am getting a bit ****ed off with having to keep jump starting the
bloody car - 5 times in the last two days.

I had a neighbour like that. Long since departed. He was a teacher, so
perhaps used to being obeyed.

What a coincidence, my neighbour is a teacher.


Those who can, do...
Those who can't, teach.

--
Tim Watts

In message , Tim Watts
writes

haps used to being obeyed.

What a coincidence, my neighbour is a teacher.


Those who can, do...
Those who can't, teach.

Try it one day, not as easy as it appears.

PS.
don't start on about the holidays, that is an urban myth.


--
Bill

Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 23 Dec 2010 23:18:39 +0000, Tim Watts wrote:

I looked in the wife's Mini the other day when topping up the screenwash
and realised that I don't actually know where the bloody battery
actually is! They've made everything else impossible/damn difficult to
DIY so I guess the battery was the last bastion of simplicity that
needed dealing with - *******s.

You'd have had fun finding it in the old Minis then...!

Or on the (later modles of) V12 Jaguars.

Bill wrote:
In message , Tim Watts
writes

haps used to being obeyed.

What a coincidence, my neighbour is a teacher.


Those who can, do...
Those who can't, teach.

Try it one day, not as easy as it appears.

No thanks. It is probably a thankless task.


--
Adam

In message , The Natural Philosopher
wrote


Half the car needed recoding and nothing worked properly when a dealer
swapped one battery i had.


After the power is removed (battery change) many cars only need to be
driven for a few miles to get the "computer" to re-learn the engine
controls and your style of driving. During this period the engine may
appear to run a little rough. The dealer probably just let the
apprentice thrash your car around the local roads for 15 minutes and
then charged you £50 to £100
--
Alan
news2009 {at} admac {dot} myzen {dot} co {dot} uk

On 24/12/10 13:05, Bill wrote:
In message , Tim Watts
writes

haps used to being obeyed.

What a coincidence, my neighbour is a teacher.


Those who can, do...
Those who can't, teach.

Try it one day, not as easy as it appears.

PS.
don't start on about the holidays, that is an urban myth.

I know - just kidding.

Seems to be the paperwork that kills them these days.


--
Tim Watts

In message , Bill
wrote
PS.
don't start on about the holidays, that is an urban myth.


Well they all have weeks of extra holidays every time there is a flake
of snow while the rest of the country carries on and manages to get work
relatively easily.

--
Alan
news2009 {at} admac {dot} myzen {dot} co {dot} uk

On 24/12/2010 12:30, The Natural Philosopher wrote:
Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article ,
george [dicegeorge] wrote:
As car electronics gets cleverer and cleverer
disconnecting the battery to swap it for a new one may break more
things than the radio.

Urban myth. Some ECus may need to 're-learn' things, though.


Actual fact.

All the electric windows forgot where 'closed' was.

All the powerfold mirrors forgot where folded was.

The radio ceased to work. I did not even HAVE the code: the main dealer
did.

That's all cos the battery went flat after a month of 'tracker' and I
charged it up..but..



Can you imagine the lawsuits in the US if something so simple as a flat
battery broke things?


Doesn't break them, but it took my an irritated call and half an hour to
restore the car to sanity.

Forgot to unplug my iPod when my MX-5 went in for a body repair. Car
stereo works (now I've reset everything), iPod works on its own but car
stereo no longer recognises iPod.

On 24/12/2010 13:36, Alan wrote:
In message , The Natural Philosopher
wrote


Half the car needed recoding and nothing worked properly when a dealer
swapped one battery i had.


After the power is removed (battery change) many cars only need to be
driven for a few miles to get the "computer" to re-learn the engine
controls and your style of driving. During this period the engine may
appear to run a little rough. The dealer probably just let the
apprentice thrash your car around the local roads for 15 minutes and
then charged you £50 to £100

"ARWadsworth" wrote in message
...
Bill wrote:
In message , Tim Watts
writes

haps used to being obeyed.

What a coincidence, my neighbour is a teacher.


Those who can, do...
Those who can't, teach.

Try it one day, not as easy as it appears.

No thanks. It is probably a thankless task.


--


indeed parents do it nearly every day and for free

everything that has to do with physical existence is a pain to me. I wish I
could just be a brain with nothing else. I hate my body so I hate shopping
for clothes and furniture that are associated with the body. Decorating
seems to be something so amazingly unnecessary to a corporeal existence,
that I have to view it as an accessory of the nonsense of the human
corporeal existence. I don't get it, and never will. I instinctively and
intuitively know that people react to their environments, what with such
things as feng shui and interior design as disciplines and fields of study.
However, my environment beyond inches away has no impact on me.

My mother taught me that I never have been able to assimilate environmental
impact because I don't see well. she is right.

if the mess in your house is invisible you are unaware of it. And if you
are unaware of the mess, how can you be aware of pretty things in your
environment. Unless someone takes the time to point something out to me in
my environment, it doesn't get noticed. Hence, shopping for things to put
in my environment presents as a mystery, more than a pain or annoyance. For
decades, I would not let anyone into my home, because I didn't want to be
bothered with creating a physical environment for guests. I figure if they
want to see something interesting, there's a whole world of things out there
we could view, while talking. Why's it gotta be my house? I guess I still
feel that way, and I am unlikely to have guests at my new place,

but if it gives my parents pleasure to buy me crap, I let them. It keeps
them busy to hunt for bargains.

they've tried to teach me about bargain hunting but that hasn't worked well

As for why my dad likes to shop -- easy. Clearly, his mind is built like
that. It's challenging, but not at all for the reasons you might think.
He used to be businessman so he likes to try and figure out how companies
organize their inventory and sales departments. He spends a lot of time
comparing the prices and quality of the different things being offered.
Having been in sales, he also likes to see if he can bargain. When he buys
something (eg a camera or a lawnmower), he likes to go to the store and
dicker with them to see if he can get yet another hundred bux off the sales
price. He generally understand when the person is working on commission and
when the price is not under the salespersons control. Because he does the
homework necessary to find out. And when he realizes it is a commissioned
salesperson, he takes every advantage to see how he can get the best price.

So sure, it's a challenge. If I had the time and inclination, I would do
the same thing. But I don't have the time and inclination to research and
dicker over something like furniture. It's not a long term investment and
for the most part, is disposable, so why bother. If asked to do the same
research and dickering for something that might turn into a long term
investment (a stock or a piece of art or a gemstone), I would do the
homework. But furniture is just too annoying and shortlived. And don't tell
me about antiques having worth. I'd beat the crap out of an antique. Can't
imagine why anyone would want valuable antiques to exist in a household
where you actually live. I'd break it stain it bust it lose it. Why
bother.

On Fri, 24 Dec 2010 12:58:16 +0000, Tim Watts wrote:

On 24/12/10 12:41, ARWadsworth wrote:
Dave Plowman wrote:
In ,
wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main
dealer to swap it!).

I am getting a bit ****ed off with having to keep jump starting the
bloody car - 5 times in the last two days.

I had a neighbour like that. Long since departed. He was a teacher, so
perhaps used to being obeyed.

What a coincidence, my neighbour is a teacher.


Those who can, do...
Those who can't, teach.

And those that cannot teach, become an adviser.

--
Frank Erskine

On Dec 24, 2:15*am, Mike Tomlinson wrote:
In article , ARWadsworth adamwadswo
writes

I am getting a bit ****ed off with having to keep jump starting the bloody
car - 5 times in the last two days.

Guilt is a powerful motive. *Next time he calls, make a show of yawning
and rubbing your eyes when you answer the door and grumble about him
waking you up.

I think you over estimate how sensitive people are to other peoples
situations. Remember, this guy needs his car starting - that is more
important that ANYTHING else.

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "ARWadsworth"
saying something like:

I had a neighbour like that. Long since departed. He was a teacher, so
perhaps used to being obeyed.

What a coincidence, my neighbour is a teacher.

Tight *******s, I've found.
Except when it comes to drinking.

In article ,
Bill wrote:
don't start on about the holidays, that is an urban myth.

Eh? My brother was a teacher all his working life. He never did any 'work'
outside school hours. Except for parent's evenings etc or clubs he was
involved in. Did all marking and preparation in the lunch hour and spare
periods instead of gossiping. ;-)

--
*Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On 24 Dec,
"Dave Plowman (News)" wrote:

Eh? My brother was a teacher all his working life. He never did any 'work'
outside school hours.

When did he pack up? must have been a couple of decades ago.

Except for parent's evenings etc or clubs he was involved in. Did all
marking and preparation in the lunch hour and spare periods instead of
gossiping. ;-)

That's what SWMBO did. But she doesn't teach now because of the extra
expectations of work outside hours to cover ever changing curicula and
beuorocracy.

--
B Thumbs
Change lycos to yahoo to reply

Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

As car electronics gets cleverer and cleverer
disconnecting the battery to swap it for a new one may break more things
than the radio.

Urban myth. Some ECus may need to 're-learn' things, though.

The latest BMW 5ers & 6ers seem to have some complicated battery control
modules that the dealers charge an arm and leg to recode when a new
battery goes in. They need to know what sort of battery is in there (now
there's different types rather than the trad. bucket of H2SO4 with Pb
plates) and, apparently, they vary the level of charge as it gets older
so need to be told when a new battery goes in.

They also charge for "resetting windows", "recalibrating the steering
assistance" and things like that, each at about £7 a pop. The bill for
replacing the battery is about the same as the cost of the battery.

--
Scott

Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?

On Dec 24, 10:22*am, Andy Dingley wrote:
On Dec 24, 8:42*am, "Nightjar \"cpb\"@" "insertmysurnamehere wrote:

Mine would probably order me to shut the bonnet if I opened it. I
certainly would need to phone the tracking company before disconnecting
the battery.

So don't disconnect it. Put a 12V back-up supply on (usually through a
cheapo gadget plugged into the cigarette lighter) before disconnecting.

I once had Halfords swap a battery on an Astra, and they used a
battery saver device plugged into the the cigaret lighter socket but
left the iginition switch at 0. The astra has a split position 2 so
that circuits essential to starting are left on when cranking in
position 3. This caused parts of the engine managment to be back fed
in strange ways. The result was it was a total pig tostart and the
engine managment warning light was only cleared when I took it to the
main dealer who charged £60 to have the ECU reflashed. If the battery
saver had not been used then I would have only had to reset the
electric windows and the radio.

The guy at Halfords came out with some clasics when he was trying to
helpwith the non starting such as locking and unlocking the car would
reboot it, he also was using a long extender on a socket rench and
disconcted the positive first...

On 24/12/10 23:05, Scott M wrote:
Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

As car electronics gets cleverer and cleverer
disconnecting the battery to swap it for a new one may break more
things than the radio.

Urban myth. Some ECus may need to 're-learn' things, though.

The latest BMW 5ers & 6ers seem to have some complicated battery control
modules that the dealers charge an arm and leg to recode when a new
battery goes in. They need to know what sort of battery is in there (now
there's different types rather than the trad. bucket of H2SO4 with Pb
plates) and, apparently, they vary the level of charge as it gets older
so need to be told when a new battery goes in.

They also charge for "resetting windows", "recalibrating the steering
assistance" and things like that, each at about £7 a pop. The bill for
replacing the battery is about the same as the cost of the battery.


The resetting windows got me. SWMBO's MINI lost the plot and needed
"recalibrating".

The fact that this needs to be done with a computer, rather than by a
simple user procedure of (say) hold down the Up-window control for 30
seconds and let the machine assume that a) the window got there (you'd
be off to the mechanic if it wouldn't close anyway) and b) that a 30
second depress indicates to override all notions of stops and just keep
going until the motor stalls, then learn that position

strikes me as either **** poor engineering or a scam. Given it's BMW I
suspect the latter.

Or, heavens above, they could always have a physical limit detector -
gasp, a microswitch!

--
Tim Watts

On Thu, 23 Dec 2010 22:01:25 +0000, ARWadsworth wrote:

As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but he is
too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main dealer to swap
it!).

I am getting a bit ****ed off with having to keep jump starting the bloody
car - 5 times in the last two days.

clip+ ... clip+
clip- ... clip-
starter: nothing
wiggle clips ... still nothing
"Oh dear these jump leads don't seem to be working. Sorry."

It happens. Had to take mine apart and solder the cables to the clips the
other day (they'd just crimped them together, with the cable
inner folded back onto the insulation pressing it onto the metal of
the clips!). I'm sure you can engineer a similar 'failure' as a tactful
way of not helping him without the social complications of telling him to
intercourse away.

--
John Stumbles

An atheist is a person with no invisible means of support

On Dec 23, 10:01*pm, "ARWadsworth"
wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but he is
too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main dealer to swap
it!).

I am getting a bit ****ed off with having to keep jump starting the bloody
car - 5 times in the last two days.

When another neighbours car battery packed in this morning he just asked for
a lift to the motor factors for a new battery. 75 all done in 10 minutes
(apart from calling into the cafe for a full English on the way back from
the shop).

--
Cheers
Adam

My insurance doesn't cover that, I'm afraid. Might to damage to the
electronics in both your car and mine. Better ring up the garage to
take out a new battery to you and sort out the electronics in your car.

On 24/12/2010 1:51 p.m., george [dicegeorge] wrote:
On 23/12/10 23:39, Adrian C wrote:
On 23/12/2010 22:01, ARWadsworth wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is
too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main dealer to swap
it!).


Probably it's either

1) he's worried the anti-theft radio will lose it's marbles and he
.
As car electronics gets cleverer and cleverer
disconnecting the battery to swap it for a new one may break more things than
the radio.

[g]

Yeah, somehow that doesn't seems very clever to me.

I wonder how flat the battery has to be to have the same effect as being
disconnected.

Surely there must be a clever way to replace a battery without disconnecting,
using jumper cables. It might be tricky.

1. Run jumpers from the battery leads to the new battery.
2. Remove leads from old battery.
3. Remove old battery.
4. Install new battery.
5. Here's the tricky part - connect leads to new battery while maintaining
connection between battery terminals and leads at all times. I'm not sure how
this should be done.

In message , Gib Bogle
wrote

I wonder how flat the battery has to be to have the same effect as
being disconnected.

Try and start a car on a dying battery and it will be the same as
removing it.

--
Alan
news2009 {at} admac {dot} myzen {dot} co {dot} uk

On 25/12/10 07:10, Gib Bogle wrote:
On 24/12/2010 1:51 p.m., george [dicegeorge] wrote:
On 23/12/10 23:39, Adrian C wrote:
On 23/12/2010 22:01, ARWadsworth wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is
too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main dealer to
swap
it!).


Probably it's either

1) he's worried the anti-theft radio will lose it's marbles and he
.
As car electronics gets cleverer and cleverer
disconnecting the battery to swap it for a new one may break more
things than
the radio.

[g]

Yeah, somehow that doesn't seems very clever to me.

Makes you wonder if the morons have discovered the joys of E2 or flash
non volatile memory...

The bit about BMW being "clever" re having a new battery for the benefit
of the charging circuit is the only valid one I can see - but BMW have
been trying to stiff non BMW servicing since at least the later 80's.

--
Tim Watts

In article ,
Alan wrote:
I wonder how flat the battery has to be to have the same effect as
being disconnected.

Try and start a car on a dying battery and it will be the same as
removing it.

Maybe not. Once the battery gets below a certain level the starter (and
the relays) which operate it won't work. But there may still be enough
volts to keep memories alive.

--
*I don't have a license to kill, but I do have a learner's permit.

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On Dec 25, 8:10 pm, Gib Bogle wrote:
On 24/12/2010 1:51 p.m., george [dicegeorge] wrote:



On 23/12/10 23:39, Adrian C wrote:
On 23/12/2010 22:01, ARWadsworth wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is
too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main dealer to swap
it!).

Probably it's either

1) he's worried the anti-theft radio will lose it's marbles and he
.
As car electronics gets cleverer and cleverer
disconnecting the battery to swap it for a new one may break more things than
the radio.

[g]

Yeah, somehow that doesn't seems very clever to me.

I wonder how flat the battery has to be to have the same effect as being
disconnected.

Surely there must be a clever way to replace a battery without disconnecting,
using jumper cables. It might be tricky.

1. Run jumpers from the battery leads to the new battery.
2. Remove leads from old battery.
3. Remove old battery.
4. Install new battery.
5. Here's the tricky part - connect leads to new battery while maintaining
connection between battery terminals and leads at all times. I'm not sure how
this should be done.

I have successfully swapped the battery without losing the voltage to
the car.
Because the old and new batteries were extremely large and heavy, I
had to get into the boot to lift them. There was not enough room for
me plus two large batteries in the boot. I wired up a third small car
battery and the swap was easily done.
I need not have bothered, since months later the car appeared to be on
fire, so I disconnected the battery in case it was a wiring short.
I had to key in the radio code but everything else worked OK.
I was surprised to find that the radio remembered all of its settings
even though the power was off for a couple of weeks.

In message , Gib Bogle
writes
On 24/12/2010 1:51 p.m., george [dicegeorge] wrote:
On 23/12/10 23:39, Adrian C wrote:
On 23/12/2010 22:01, ARWadsworth wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is
too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main dealer to swap
it!).


Probably it's either

1) he's worried the anti-theft radio will lose it's marbles and he
.
As car electronics gets cleverer and cleverer
disconnecting the battery to swap it for a new one may break more things than
the radio.

[g]

Yeah, somehow that doesn't seems very clever to me.

I wonder how flat the battery has to be to have the same effect as
being disconnected.

Surely there must be a clever way to replace a battery without
disconnecting, using jumper cables. It might be tricky.

1. Run jumpers from the battery leads to the new battery.
2. Remove leads from old battery.
3. Remove old battery.
4. Install new battery.
5. Here's the tricky part - connect leads to new battery while
maintaining connection between battery terminals and leads at all
times. I'm not sure how this should be done.

1. Slacken the bolts on the battery connectors.

2. Make sure that the connectors are loose, but don't disconnect from
the battery terminals.

3. Connect the jumper lead clips to the connectors.

4. Ease the connectors off the battery terminals.

5. Replace battery.

6. Put the connectors on the battery, making sure that they are a push
fit (tighten/slacken bolts as necessary).

7. Remove jumper leads.

8. Tighten connector bolts.

That ought to work. The car electrics will never know you did it.
--
Ian

In message , Tim
Streater writes
In article ,
Tim Watts wrote:

On 25/12/10 07:10, Gib Bogle wrote:
On 24/12/2010 1:51 p.m., george [dicegeorge] wrote:
On 23/12/10 23:39, Adrian C wrote:
On 23/12/2010 22:01, ARWadsworth wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is
too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main dealer to
swap
it!).


Probably it's either

1) he's worried the anti-theft radio will lose it's marbles and he
.
As car electronics gets cleverer and cleverer
disconnecting the battery to swap it for a new one may break more
things than
the radio.

[g]

Yeah, somehow that doesn't seems very clever to me.
Makes you wonder if the morons have discovered the joys of E2 or
flash non volatile memory...

Exactly. Perhaps some car expert could explain why it should make a
scrap of 'king difference that the power is removed from the
electronics from time to time. No other piece of kit is affected this
way.

Yebbut.....
Having a volatile memory is a nice little earner, innit?
Stop rocking the boat!
--
Ian

On 25/12/10 15:06, Ian Jackson wrote:

Stop rocking the boat!

I want to drill holes in the boat, kick it over, dowse it in petrol fire
flares at it from my boat then play Harpoon Willy with the survivors!

--
Tim Watts

Tim Watts wrote:

strikes me as either **** poor engineering or a scam. Given it's BMW I
suspect the latter.

I had my first BMW about 8 years ago and I was surprised at how forward
thinking they were and how well engineered stuff was (having believed
all the negative hype about them before.) Things like threaded holes on
the water pump so you could just pop a couple of M8 bolts in and use
them to wind the pump out of the block. Beat the application of the
/large/ hammer that Vauxhalls required, for instance.

Now though they do seem to have started putting stuff in just to the
disadvantage of the owner.


Or, heavens above, they could always have a physical limit detector -
gasp, a microswitch!

Peversely, on my L-reg 3er they had a magnet & hall-effect switch that
counted pulses of the winder motor and would shut it off if the pulses
stopped coming. On my '54 plate 3er the strip at the top of the window
simply activates a microswitch. So that's gone backwards.

Mind you, the 5er upwards always seems to be a testbed for Bizarre
Things. The anti-trap mechanism on those probably consists of a bottled
Genie that watches from the B-pillar.

--
Scott

Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?

On Sat, 25 Dec 2010 02:56:04 -0800 (PST), Matty F wrote:

I have successfully swapped the battery without losing the voltage to
the car.

And me, used a small 12v SLA battery, plugged into lighter socket via
a fused lead. You probably have to put the ignition switch into the
"aux" position to get power to the lighter socket and thus a circuit
to power the car when the main battery is disconnected. Don't turn to
"run" or "start"... (that's why I used a fused lead).

--
Cheers
Dave.

On Thu, 23 Dec 2010 23:14:06 +0000, Tim Watts wrote:

On 23/12/10 22:01, ARWadsworth wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but he is
too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main dealer to swap
it!).

I am getting a bit ****ed off with having to keep jump starting the bloody
car - 5 times in the last two days.

When another neighbours car battery packed in this morning he just asked for
a lift to the motor factors for a new battery. £75 all done in 10 minutes
(apart from calling into the cafe for a full English on the way back from
the shop).


The diplomatic solution would be to "have lent the leads to a mate who's
working over Xmas and had a dodgy battery" or something else plausible

No - it's the wrong time of year for Lent :-)

--
Frank Erskine

On 25/12/2010 15:42, Scott M wrote:
Tim Watts wrote:

strikes me as either **** poor engineering or a scam. Given it's BMW I
suspect the latter.

I had my first BMW about 8 years ago and I was surprised at how forward
thinking they were and how well engineered stuff was (having believed
all the negative hype about them before.) Things like threaded holes on
the water pump so you could just pop a couple of M8 bolts in and use
them to wind the pump out of the block. Beat the application of the
/large/ hammer that Vauxhalls required, for instance.

Now though they do seem to have started putting stuff in just to the
disadvantage of the owner.


Or, heavens above, they could always have a physical limit detector -
gasp, a microswitch!

Peversely, on my L-reg 3er they had a magnet & hall-effect switch that
counted pulses of the winder motor and would shut it off if the pulses
stopped coming. On my '54 plate 3er the strip at the top of the window
simply activates a microswitch. So that's gone backwards.

Mind you, the 5er upwards always seems to be a testbed for Bizarre
Things. The anti-trap mechanism on those probably consists of a bottled
Genie that watches from the B-pillar.

I can't understand why anyone would want to buy one. The slightest hint
of ice or snow and they are stuck at the side of the road.

Dave

In article ,
Dave wrote:
I can't understand why anyone would want to buy one. The slightest hint
of ice or snow and they are stuck at the side of the road.

My brother seems to manage ok with his 330T. In the NE of Scotland.
Ordinary tyres with rear ones dropped to 20 psi. Couple of bags of
salt/grit in the back and some old mats in case things get really bad. SIL
manages it too. And they're both OAPs.

When people get stuck at the side of the road it's usually down to them -
not the car.

--
*Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool*

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On 26/12/2010 12:01 a.m., Ian Jackson wrote:
In message , Gib Bogle
writes
On 24/12/2010 1:51 p.m., george [dicegeorge] wrote:
On 23/12/10 23:39, Adrian C wrote:
On 23/12/2010 22:01, ARWadsworth wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is
too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main dealer to swap
it!).


Probably it's either

1) he's worried the anti-theft radio will lose it's marbles and he
.
As car electronics gets cleverer and cleverer
disconnecting the battery to swap it for a new one may break more things than
the radio.

[g]

Yeah, somehow that doesn't seems very clever to me.

I wonder how flat the battery has to be to have the same effect as being
disconnected.

Surely there must be a clever way to replace a battery without disconnecting,
using jumper cables. It might be tricky.

1. Run jumpers from the battery leads to the new battery.
2. Remove leads from old battery.
3. Remove old battery.
4. Install new battery.
5. Here's the tricky part - connect leads to new battery while maintaining
connection between battery terminals and leads at all times. I'm not sure how
this should be done.

1. Slacken the bolts on the battery connectors.

2. Make sure that the connectors are loose, but don't disconnect from the
battery terminals.

3. Connect the jumper lead clips to the connectors.

4. Ease the connectors off the battery terminals.

5. Replace battery.

6. Put the connectors on the battery, making sure that they are a push fit
(tighten/slacken bolts as necessary).

This is the tricky step. At this point there is a jumper lead clip on the
battery terminal, and the other clip is on the battery connector. You have to
get the connector onto the battery terminal which has a jumper clip on it. The
clips are usually quite large, comparable in size with the terminal. Care will
be needed to make sure that the contact between the connector and the terminal
is maintained while the clip is removed from the terminal.

In message , Gib Bogle
writes
On 26/12/2010 12:01 a.m., Ian Jackson wrote:
In message , Gib Bogle
writes
On 24/12/2010 1:51 p.m., george [dicegeorge] wrote:
On 23/12/10 23:39, Adrian C wrote:
On 23/12/2010 22:01, ARWadsworth wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is
too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main dealer to swap
it!).


Probably it's either

1) he's worried the anti-theft radio will lose it's marbles and he
.
As car electronics gets cleverer and cleverer
disconnecting the battery to swap it for a new one may break more
things than
the radio.

[g]

Yeah, somehow that doesn't seems very clever to me.

I wonder how flat the battery has to be to have the same effect as being
disconnected.

Surely there must be a clever way to replace a battery without
disconnecting,
using jumper cables. It might be tricky.

1. Run jumpers from the battery leads to the new battery.
2. Remove leads from old battery.
3. Remove old battery.
4. Install new battery.
5. Here's the tricky part - connect leads to new battery while maintaining
connection between battery terminals and leads at all times. I'm not
sure how
this should be done.

1. Slacken the bolts on the battery connectors.

2. Make sure that the connectors are loose, but don't disconnect from the
battery terminals.

3. Connect the jumper lead clips to the connectors.

4. Ease the connectors off the battery terminals.

5. Replace battery.

6. Put the connectors on the battery, making sure that they are a push fit
(tighten/slacken bolts as necessary).

This is the tricky step. At this point there is a jumper lead clip on
the battery terminal, and the other clip is on the battery connector.
You have to get the connector onto the battery terminal which has a
jumper clip on it. The clips are usually quite large, comparable in
size with the terminal. Care will be needed to make sure that the
contact between the connector and the terminal is maintained while the
clip is removed from the terminal.

Before starting the job, you obviously need to assess the possible snags
that might arise, and prepare for them. The cigar lighter connection is
obviously easier, provided it works (which it ought to).
--
Ian

Tim Watts submitted this idea :
strikes me as either **** poor engineering or a scam. Given it's BMW I
suspect the latter.

Or, heavens above, they could always have a physical limit detector - gasp, a
microswitch!

Mine uses the current draw of the motors, to work out where its fully
open/closed positions are - simples.

--
Regards,
Harry (M1BYT) (L)
http://www.ukradioamateur.co.uk

Tim Streater was thinking very hard :
You don't need volts to keep memories alive, and haven't ever since eeprom
was invented - in 1978.

Whilst that is true, it relies on the manufacturers to fit EEPROM. Then
if it is used, then quick way of resetting the ECU to get it to relearn
its settings (battery disconnect), would be lost.

--
Regards,
Harry (M1BYT) (L)
http://www.ukradioamateur.co.uk

John Stumbles wrote:
On Thu, 23 Dec 2010 22:01:25 +0000, ARWadsworth wrote:

As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main
dealer to swap it!).

I am getting a bit ****ed off with having to keep jump starting the
bloody car - 5 times in the last two days.

clip+ ... clip+
clip- ... clip-
starter: nothing
wiggle clips ... still nothing
"Oh dear these jump leads don't seem to be working. Sorry."

It happens. Had to take mine apart and solder the cables to the clips
the other day (they'd just crimped them together, with the cable
inner folded back onto the insulation pressing it onto the metal of
the clips!). I'm sure you can engineer a similar 'failure' as a
tactful way of not helping him without the social complications of
telling him to intercourse away.

Not on these jump leads. They are 25mm CSA with proper hydraulic crimped
clips. They were custom made some 20 years ago so that they would be long
enough to jump start a a Ford Sierra with a MKII Escort with one in front of
the other and not side by side or facing each other.

--
Adam

Ian Jackson expressed precisely :
In message , Gib Bogle
writes
On 26/12/2010 12:01 a.m., Ian Jackson wrote:
In message , Gib Bogle
writes
On 24/12/2010 1:51 p.m., george [dicegeorge] wrote:
On 23/12/10 23:39, Adrian C wrote:
On 23/12/2010 22:01, ARWadsworth wrote:
As per the header. The neighbour has got a knackered car battery but
he is
too nervous to just buy and fit a new one (he wants a main dealer to
swap
it!).


Probably it's either

1) he's worried the anti-theft radio will lose it's marbles and he
.
As car electronics gets cleverer and cleverer
disconnecting the battery to swap it for a new one may break more things
than
the radio.

[g]

Yeah, somehow that doesn't seems very clever to me.

I wonder how flat the battery has to be to have the same effect as being
disconnected.

Surely there must be a clever way to replace a battery without
disconnecting,
using jumper cables. It might be tricky.

1. Run jumpers from the battery leads to the new battery.
2. Remove leads from old battery.
3. Remove old battery.
4. Install new battery.
5. Here's the tricky part - connect leads to new battery while
maintaining
connection between battery terminals and leads at all times. I'm not sure
how
this should be done.

1. Slacken the bolts on the battery connectors.

2. Make sure that the connectors are loose, but don't disconnect from the
battery terminals.

3. Connect the jumper lead clips to the connectors.

4. Ease the connectors off the battery terminals.

5. Replace battery.

6. Put the connectors on the battery, making sure that they are a push fit
(tighten/slacken bolts as necessary).

This is the tricky step. At this point there is a jumper lead clip on the
battery terminal, and the other clip is on the battery connector. You have
to get the connector onto the battery terminal which has a jumper clip on
it. The clips are usually quite large, comparable in size with the
terminal. Care will be needed to make sure that the contact between the
connector and the terminal is maintained while the clip is removed from the
terminal.

Before starting the job, you obviously need to assess the possible snags that
might arise, and prepare for them. The cigar lighter connection is obviously
easier, provided it works (which it ought to).

Only if the lighter socket is permanently live!

A better method than connecting across the battery leads, is to find
the under-bonnet main fuse box and seeing if there is an accessible
live all the time bus bar. Connect to that and a good ground/ earthed
engine part.

--
Regards,
Harry (M1BYT) (L)
http://www.ukradioamateur.co.uk