"Rob G" wrote in message
...
On 19 Aug, 09:13, Tim Decker wrote:
I am interested whether any of the keen DIYers on the group have built
or considered building a coffin. I like to think I have a few years
left in me, but I thought it might be a good project, particularly
considering the horrendous prices charged by undertakers for a simple
wooden box, often with some appalling faux brass fitting, more worthy
of a cheap kids football trophy.
Any guidance on rules, regulations and other considerations would be
gratefully received.
It will have to go on my list of projects to be done, somewhere after,
the window renovation, the pizza oven, the new bedroom cupboards, the
additional bathroom etc.
Regards
Tim

Somewhere in this thread there was a mention of basketwork coffins -
now as is always the way no doubt because I haven't re-read the
threads, this website has already been mentioned.

But here goes anyway - I was looking at this website as my wife has
just bought something from these people in the Edinburgh Festival -
and lo and behold they do basketwork coffins

http://www.all-about-willow.co.uk/content/coffins/2178/

Rob

Ever thought of a totally eco friendly coffin. Made out of cardboard.

http://www.funeralsearch.co.uk/cardboard-coffins.php#a3

James

On Sun, 30 Aug 2009 19:42:55 +0100 The_constructor wrote :
http://www.all-about-willow.co.uk/content/coffins/2178/

Rob

Ever thought of a totally eco friendly coffin. Made out of cardboard.

http://www.funeralsearch.co.uk/cardboard-coffins.php#a3

I would have thought that the willow was more eco-friendly. I'm not
sure what they do to turn old newspapers etc into cardboard but suspect
that there's more than a little energy and a chemical or two along the
way.

--
Tony Bryer, 'Software to build on' from Greentram
www.superbeam.co.uk www.superbeam.com www.greentram.com

Rob G wrote:
On 19 Aug, 09:13, Tim Decker wrote:
I am interested whether any of the keen DIYers on the group have
built or considered building a coffin. I like to think I have a few
years left in me, but I thought it might be a good project,
particularly considering the horrendous prices charged by
undertakers for a simple wooden box, often with some appalling faux
brass fitting, more worthy of a cheap kids football trophy.
Any guidance on rules, regulations and other considerations would be
gratefully received.
It will have to go on my list of projects to be done, somewhere
after, the window renovation, the pizza oven, the new bedroom
cupboards, the additional bathroom etc.
Regards
Tim

Somewhere in this thread there was a mention of basketwork coffins -
now as is always the way no doubt because I haven't re-read the
threads, this website has already been mentioned.

But here goes anyway - I was looking at this website as my wife has
just bought something from these people in the Edinburgh Festival -
and lo and behold they do basketwork coffins

http://www.all-about-willow.co.uk/content/coffins/2178/

What about purple plus deaths? Willow or cardboard don't bear thinking
about.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

On 31 Aug, 00:46, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:
Rob G wrote:
On 19 Aug, 09:13, Tim Decker wrote:
I am interested whether any of the keen DIYers on the group have
built or considered building a coffin. I like to think I have a few
years left in me, but I thought it might be a good project,
particularly considering the horrendous prices charged by
undertakers for a simple wooden box, often with some appalling faux
brass fitting, more worthy of a cheap kids football trophy.
Any guidance on rules, regulations and other considerations would be
gratefully received.
It will have to go on my list of projects to be done, somewhere
after, the window renovation, the pizza oven, the new bedroom
cupboards, the additional bathroom etc.
Regards
Tim

Somewhere in this thread there was a mention of basketwork coffins -
now as is always the way no doubt because I haven't re-read the
threads, this website has already been mentioned.

But here goes anyway - *I was looking at this website as my wife has
just bought something from these people in the Edinburgh Festival -
and lo and behold they do basketwork coffins

http://www.all-about-willow.co.uk/content/coffins/2178/

What about purple plus deaths? *Willow or cardboard don't bear thinking
about.

--
Dave - The Medway Handymanwww.medwayhandyman.co.uk

Its a bag in a box, as long as contents dosent sloosh about.

Adam

"the_constructor" wrote in message
o.uk...
Ever thought of a totally eco friendly coffin. Made out of cardboard.

What's the point of worrying about the environment if you're going to die?

Bill

"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...

"the_constructor" wrote in message
o.uk...
Ever thought of a totally eco friendly coffin. Made out of cardboard.

What's the point of worrying about the environment if you're going to die?

Bill

Why worry about anything? You are going to die.

The Medway Handyman wrote:

What about purple plus deaths?

what on earth are they?

Andy

"Andy Champ" wrote in message
. uk...
The Medway Handyman wrote:

What about purple plus deaths?

what on earth are they?

Andy

Ones where the body has been dead for a while before being found.

Some liquefaction has probably set in by that point....

Cheers

Mark

Mark Spice coughed up some electrons that declared:


"Andy Champ" wrote in message
. uk...
The Medway Handyman wrote:

What about purple plus deaths?

what on earth are they?

Andy

Ones where the body has been dead for a while before being found.

Some liquefaction has probably set in by that point....

Cheers

Mark

I'd hate to be an undertaker. Must be grim at the best of times - but that,
not to mention horrific accidents and burn victims

On Mon, 31 Aug 2009 17:38:16 +0100, "Mark Spice"
wrote:


"Andy Champ" wrote in message
.uk...
The Medway Handyman wrote:

What about purple plus deaths?

what on earth are they?

Andy

Ones where the body has been dead for a while before being found.

Some liquefaction has probably set in by that point....


Must remember: Need baffles in the coffin.

Derek

Tim Downie wrote:
Andy Dingley wrote:
On 28 Aug, 08:51, (Andrew Gabriel) wrote:

apparently "Smoke gets in your eyes" is a not infrequent
request

Search out Sandy Dillon's "Into the flame"

Not forgetting "Light my fire" by The Doors.

From recent personal experience of organising a cremation, most
crematoria are now signing up to a system called the Wesley Music
Library, which is a collaboration of e-music held at different crems,
and allows music to be transferred between them as and when required, if
it's not available locally - at ours we were advised it was not
permitted to use anything else due to the high risk of incompatible
formats etc.

Check out your local crem he
http://www.wesleymusic.co.uk/musiclibrarylists

Looking at the listing for ours, I have to say we were sorely tempted to
select the theme tunes for "Dad's Army" and "Dr Who", with Tom Jones'
"Sex Bomb" to conclude the proceedings.

David

In message , Lobster
writes

Looking at the listing for ours, I have to say we were sorely tempted
to select the theme tunes for "Dad's Army" and "Dr Who", with Tom
Jones' "Sex Bomb" to conclude the proceedings.

Mother in law went off to the strains of *always look on the bright side
of life*.

regards

--
Tim Lamb

"Lobster" wrote in message
news
Tim Downie wrote:
Andy Dingley wrote:
On 28 Aug, 08:51, (Andrew Gabriel) wrote:

apparently "Smoke gets in your eyes" is a not infrequent
request

Search out Sandy Dillon's "Into the flame"

Not forgetting "Light my fire" by The Doors.

From recent personal experience of organising a cremation, most crematoria
are now signing up to a system called the Wesley Music Library, which is a
collaboration of e-music held at different crems, and allows music to be
transferred between them as and when required, if it's not available
locally - at ours we were advised it was not permitted to use anything
else due to the high risk of incompatible formats etc.

Check out your local crem he
http://www.wesleymusic.co.uk/musiclibrarylists

Looking at the listing for ours, I have to say we were sorely tempted to
select the theme tunes for "Dad's Army" and "Dr Who", with Tom Jones' "Sex
Bomb" to conclude the proceedings.

David

Sounds like another money making racket to me.

On Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:22:18 UTC, Tim Lamb
wrote:

In message , Lobster
writes

Looking at the listing for ours, I have to say we were sorely tempted
to select the theme tunes for "Dad's Army" and "Dr Who", with Tom
Jones' "Sex Bomb" to conclude the proceedings.

Mother in law went off to the strains of *always look on the bright side
of life*.

Which I believe is in the 'top three' for popularity on these occasions.
'My Way' is another.

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
http://www.diybanter.com

Mark Spice wrote:

Ones where the body has been dead for a while before being found.

Some liquefaction has probably set in by that point....

Ah. I'm familiar with the phenomenon, but not by that name. Nor,
personally, on that scale. Blowflies like to speed it up IIRC, and I've
even heard of lead coffins from the _Roman_ period having liquefied bodies

Cheers

Perhaps not the ideal greeting in the circumstances...


Mark

Andy

Tim S wrote:

I'd hate to be an undertaker. Must be grim at the best of times - but
that, not to mention horrific accidents and burn victims

My uncle said those stories came in very useful for diverting an
over-inquisitive tax inspector.


--
Ian White

On Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:55:18 +0100, Derek Geldard wrote:
Ones where the body has been dead for a while before being found.

Some liquefaction has probably set in by that point....

Must remember: Need baffles in the coffin.

Aha. There's my favourite usenet post of the month...

I suppose watertight bulkheads would be over-egging it?

On Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:16:04 +0100 Lobster wrote :
From recent personal experience of organising a cremation, most
crematoria are now signing up to a system called the Wesley Music
Library, which is a collaboration of e-music held at different crems,
and allows music to be transferred between them as and when required,
if it's not available locally - at ours we were advised it was not
permitted to use anything else due to the high risk of incompatible
formats etc.

Check out your local crem he
http://www.wesleymusic.co.uk/musiclibrarylists

Looking at the listing for ours, I have to say we were sorely tempted
to select the theme tunes for "Dad's Army" and "Dr Who", with Tom
Jones' "Sex Bomb" to conclude the proceedings.

Shortly before leaving the UK I was asked to conduct a funeral at SW
Middlesex Crem which uses this system, and very impressive it is too.
The office puts the (say) four tracks into the system and at the desk
you have a green button to start the next one and a red button if you
want to fade it out before the end. The choice is amazing: IIRC
something like eight different renditions of "My way".

--
Tony Bryer, 'Software to build on' from Greentram
www.superbeam.co.uk www.superbeam.com www.greentram.com

On Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:55:18 +0100 Derek Geldard wrote :
Must remember: Need baffles in the coffin.

Cat litter

--
Tony Bryer, 'Software to build on' from Greentram
www.superbeam.co.uk www.superbeam.com www.greentram.com

the_constructor wrote:
"Lobster" wrote in message
news
Tim Downie wrote:
Andy Dingley wrote:
On 28 Aug, 08:51, (Andrew Gabriel) wrote:

apparently "Smoke gets in your eyes" is a not infrequent
request
Search out Sandy Dillon's "Into the flame"
Not forgetting "Light my fire" by The Doors.
From recent personal experience of organising a cremation, most crematoria
are now signing up to a system called the Wesley Music Library, which is a
collaboration of e-music held at different crems, and allows music to be
transferred between them as and when required, if it's not available
locally - at ours we were advised it was not permitted to use anything
else due to the high risk of incompatible formats etc.

Check out your local crem he
http://www.wesleymusic.co.uk/musiclibrarylists

Looking at the listing for ours, I have to say we were sorely tempted to
select the theme tunes for "Dad's Army" and "Dr Who", with Tom Jones' "Sex
Bomb" to conclude the proceedings.

Sounds like another money making racket to me.

Well, other than the crem fee there was nothing itemised for music, and
no reduction in cost if you wanted a music-free service (like the one
auntie had many years ago).

Mark Spice wrote:
"Andy Champ" wrote in message
. uk...
The Medway Handyman wrote:

What about purple plus deaths?

what on earth are they?

Sorry, ambulance speak.

Ones where the body has been dead for a while before being found.

Some liquefaction has probably set in by that point....

'Some' being a variable apparently.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

On 31 Aug, 00:46, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:

Willow or cardboard don't bear thinking about.

There's a liner in the willow.

What about purple plus deaths?

Those are bagged, even when they're in wood. It's easier to seal a bag
than to seal wood.

In message
,
Owain writes
On 31 Aug, 22:22, Tim Lamb wrote:
Mother in law went off to the strains of *always look on the bright side
of life*.

Was that her choice, or yours?

I can honestly say I was very fortunate in the initial decision and
following 40 years.

Dementia intervened but *life of Brian* certainly appealed to her sense
of humour.

regards

--
Tim Lamb

The message
from Tim S contains these words:

Mark Spice coughed up some electrons that declared:


"Andy Champ" wrote in message
. uk...
The Medway Handyman wrote:

What about purple plus deaths?

what on earth are they?

Andy

Ones where the body has been dead for a while before being found.

Some liquefaction has probably set in by that point....

Cheers

Mark

I'd hate to be an undertaker. Must be grim at the best of times - but that,
not to mention horrific accidents and burn victims

Think of the problems in North America where they have to try to make it
look recognisable and presentable in order to avoid the "indignity" (to
their way of thinking) of a "closed casket"

"Bob Eager" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:22:18 UTC, Tim Lamb
wrote:

In message , Lobster
writes

Looking at the listing for ours, I have to say we were sorely tempted
to select the theme tunes for "Dad's Army" and "Dr Who", with Tom
Jones' "Sex Bomb" to conclude the proceedings.

Mother in law went off to the strains of *always look on the bright side
of life*.

Which I believe is in the 'top three' for popularity on these occasions.
'My Way' is another.


Angels by Robbie Williams must be the third choice then.

Adam

ARWadsworth wrote:

"Bob Eager" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:22:18 UTC, Tim Lamb
wrote:

In message , Lobster
writes

Looking at the listing for ours, I have to say we were sorely tempted
to select the theme tunes for "Dad's Army" and "Dr Who", with Tom
Jones' "Sex Bomb" to conclude the proceedings.

Mother in law went off to the strains of *always look on the bright side
of life*.

Which I believe is in the 'top three' for popularity on these occasions.

No 1:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4352276/Monty-Python-classic-tops-list-of-best-funeral-songs.html

'My Way' is another.

Angels by Robbie Williams must be the third choice then.

Adam

Close...
http://theconnexion.net/wp/?p=2453

My mum chose Dave Brubeck's wonderful "Take Five" to conclude my Dad's
cremation, as he was a pianist and it was one of his favorites. And one
of mine, too - but for me, now ruined for ever! :-(

David

"Lobster" wrote in message
...
ARWadsworth wrote:

"Bob Eager" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:22:18 UTC, Tim Lamb
wrote:

In message , Lobster
writes

Looking at the listing for ours, I have to say we were sorely tempted
to select the theme tunes for "Dad's Army" and "Dr Who", with Tom
Jones' "Sex Bomb" to conclude the proceedings.

Mother in law went off to the strains of *always look on the bright
side
of life*.

Which I believe is in the 'top three' for popularity on these occasions.

No 1:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4352276/Monty-Python-classic-tops-list-of-best-funeral-songs.html

'My Way' is another.

Angels by Robbie Williams must be the third choice then.

Adam

Close...
http://theconnexion.net/wp/?p=2453

My mum chose Dave Brubeck's wonderful "Take Five" to conclude my Dad's
cremation, as he was a pianist and it was one of his favorites. And one
of mine, too - but for me, now ruined for ever! :-(

David

A good name for an undertakers would be "Bury and Burns Ltd"

It is quite catchy.

Adam

Lobster wrote:

My mum chose Dave Brubeck's wonderful "Take Five" to conclude my Dad's
cremation, as he was a pianist and it was one of his favorites. And one
of mine, too - but for me, now ruined for ever! :-(


My father-in-law's choice has made me morose every time I see a Hovis
advert...

Andy

Andy Champ wrote:
Lobster wrote:

My mum chose Dave Brubeck's wonderful "Take Five" to conclude my Dad's
cremation, as he was a pianist and it was one of his favorites. And
one of mine, too - but for me, now ruined for ever! :-(


My father-in-law's choice has made me morose every time I see a Hovis
advert...

I suspect that he chose that piece because it is known as 'Coming home'.

Dave

Dave wrote:

I suspect that he chose that piece because it is known as 'Coming home'.



I've been trying to remember. The largo from Dvorák's "New World"? I'm
darnn sure he knew.

Andy

Andy Champ wrote:
Dave wrote:

I suspect that he chose that piece because it is known as 'Coming home'.



I've been trying to remember. The largo from Dvorák's "New World"? I'm
darnn sure he knew.

Be morose no more. A very good friend of mine who went blind with
diabetes died at quite an early age, taught me a a lot about computers,
had that played at his funeral as the vicar pushed the button for the
casket to start it's last journey. I thought it was a very good choice
by his parents.

Dave

Dave wrote:

Be morose no more. A very good friend of mine who went blind with
diabetes died at quite an early age, taught me a a lot about computers,
had that played at his funeral as the vicar pushed the button for the
casket to start it's last journey. I thought it was a very good choice
by his parents.


Bill planned his own funeral. He had plenty of warning.

Andy.

In article ,
Andy Champ writes:
Dave wrote:

Be morose no more. A very good friend of mine who went blind with
diabetes died at quite an early age, taught me a a lot about computers,
had that played at his funeral as the vicar pushed the button for the
casket to start it's last journey. I thought it was a very good choice
by his parents.


Bill planned his own funeral. He had plenty of warning.

I remember watching a documentary many years ago about a young guy
who knew he was going to die (Aids, IIRC) and planned everything
down to the last detail - you really had to admire him. I can't
remember all the details clearly now, but ISTR his coffin was
painted to look like a large can of heinz baked beans, and very
many other things designed to get the mourners smiling. Oh yes,
they all had to come in very bright colours - definately no
black. However, one of his instructions which the undertakers
just couldn't bring themselves to do was, just as the curtains
have drawn behind the coffin, he wanted a white gloved hand to
poke back through the curtains and wave goodbye.

--
Andrew Gabriel
[email address is not usable -- followup in the newsgroup]

"John MacLeod" wrote in message
...
The message
from Tim S contains these words:

Mark Spice coughed up some electrons that declared:


"Andy Champ" wrote in message
. uk...
The Medway Handyman wrote:

What about purple plus deaths?

what on earth are they?

Andy

Ones where the body has been dead for a while before being found.

Some liquefaction has probably set in by that point....

Cheers

Mark

I'd hate to be an undertaker. Must be grim at the best of times - but
that,
not to mention horrific accidents and burn victims

Think of the problems in North America where they have to try to make it
look recognisable and presentable in order to avoid the "indignity" (to
their way of thinking) of a "closed casket"

Undertaker OK (after all they are dead). Dentist OK (technical challenge). I
couldn't be a chiropodist. A never ending supply of smelly manky feet (thery
rarely see a good foot). That's the big yuk for me!


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not)

Bob Mannix coughed up some electrons that declared:


Undertaker OK (after all they are dead). Dentist OK (technical challenge).
I couldn't be a chiropodist. A never ending supply of smelly manky feet
(thery rarely see a good foot). That's the big yuk for me!



Gynecologist? Sooner or later, you *will* get one of these:

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/a...0x_465053a.jpg

(Sorry, it is now safe to reinsert your breakfast)

On Fri, 04 Sep 2009 10:22:33 +0100, Tim S wrote:
Gynecologist? Sooner or later, you *will* get one of these:

That's a face, not a crotch. Possibly.

Jules coughed up some electrons that declared:

On Fri, 04 Sep 2009 10:22:33 +0100, Tim S wrote:
Gynecologist? Sooner or later, you *will* get one of these:

That's a face, not a crotch. Possibly.

But think of the inferenences. Or better, don't!