See the subject line, I know this thread has come up at times in the
wreck, but I still can't find any plans.

This started off as a bit of a black joke at a recent funeral, but has
become a little more serious in the last few days.

I understand there's a book on it, but in the best interests of my
Scots ancestry; I'm looking for a freebie.

I know it won't be hard to dream one up (sort of a box about 6 ft
long) but maybe plans will have a few handy tips and ideas with them.
I also favour plywood, so any ideas on what thickness would work? I
think 1/2".

TIA

Barry

You are one hell of a cheap Scot (Written by William Wallace so I have
a right). 1/2" ply? I can just see the solemn pall bearers moving up
the steps of the church and the bottom falling out of the darn 1/2"
CDX box and the poor deceased taking a big bounce on the way back down
the steps

Sorry for the dark humor. I hope no one near is headed to the great
beyond but life is just a little to short to be too sad in the face of
all we face.

Lang may your lum reek
BW

On Jun 22, 4:02 pm, Barry Lennox wrote:
See the subject line, I know this thread has come up at times in the
wreck, but I still can't find any plans.

This started off as a bit of a black joke at a recent funeral, but has
become a little more serious in the last few days.

I understand there's a book on it, but in the best interests of my
Scots ancestry; I'm looking for a freebie.

I know it won't be hard to dream one up (sort of a box about 6 ft
long) but maybe plans will have a few handy tips and ideas with them.
I also favour plywood, so any ideas on what thickness would work? I
think 1/2".

TIA

Barry

http://wayneofthewoods.com/coffin%202.html
http://www.shallowvalley.com/pincherplans.html
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Nebula/6037/coffin.htm


On Jun 22, 4:02 pm, Barry Lennox wrote:
See the subject line, I know this thread has come up at times in the
wreck, but I still can't find any plans.

This started off as a bit of a black joke at a recent funeral, but has
become a little more serious in the last few days.

I understand there's a book on it, but in the best interests of my
Scots ancestry; I'm looking for a freebie.

I know it won't be hard to dream one up (sort of a box about 6 ft
long) but maybe plans will have a few handy tips and ideas with them.
I also favour plywood, so any ideas on what thickness would work? I
think 1/2".

TIA

Barry

Rockler has plans - I guess they want to cover all possible
bases :-)
http://www.rockler.com/search_results.cfm?filter=coffin

mikey


"Barry Lennox" wrote in message
...
See the subject line, I know this thread has come up at times in the
wreck, but I still can't find any plans.

This started off as a bit of a black joke at a recent funeral, but has
become a little more serious in the last few days.

I understand there's a book on it, but in the best interests of my
Scots ancestry; I'm looking for a freebie.

I know it won't be hard to dream one up (sort of a box about 6 ft
long) but maybe plans will have a few handy tips and ideas with them.
I also favour plywood, so any ideas on what thickness would work? I
think 1/2".

TIA

Barry

On Jun 22, 7:11 pm, "SonomaProducts.com" wrote:
You are one hell of a cheap Scot (Written by William Wallace so I have a right). 1/2" ply? I can just see the solemn pall bearers moving up the steps of the church and the bottom falling out of the darn 1/2"
CDX box and the poor deceased taking a big bounce on the way back down the steps

Sorry for the dark humor.

Well, I thought it was pretty damn funny. I have been to two funerals
in the last 9 months of "family" members. A little levity on the
subject is well appreciated.

I am now wondering if Barry thought of using OSB. That 7/16" is a lot
stronger than many think... ;^)

Robert

wrote in message
Sorry for the dark humor.

Well, I thought it was pretty damn funny. I have been to two funerals
in the last 9 months of "family" members. A little levity on the
subject is well appreciated.

Hell, I've instructed my best friend who has been designated my executor and
sole beneficiary, to have the cheapest funeral he can buy, or if possible
not to have one at all. He's to take some money I've put aside and take any
friends of mine out, feed them dinner and get them drunk. Damned if I'm
going to have what used to be my money wasted just to get me into the
ground. Cremation and no church service, that's what I want.

Sat, Jun 23, 2007, 11:02am (EDT+16)
(Barry*Lennox) doth sayeth:
See the subject line, I know this thread has come up at times in the
wreck, but I still can't find any plans.

Indeed it has. And I've posted several plans myself. Are you sure
it's cofin plans you want? Or casket plans? A quick google should turn
up plans. How It's Made has a great segment on making a caske. It's
really simple and quick, it only takes about 5 minuts on te how.



JOAT
If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton

On Jun 22, 9:34 pm, "Upscale" wrote:

Hell, I've instructed my best friend who has been designated my executor and sole beneficiary, to have the cheapest funeral he can buy, or if possible
not to have one at all. He's to take some money I've put aside and take any friends of mine out, feed them dinner and get them drunk. Damned if I'm going to have what used to be my money wasted just to get me into the
ground. Cremation and no church service, that's what I want.

AMEN! I'm right there with you on that one. The two funerals I went
to required no plots as both were highly decorated vets.

However, the funeral services for each ran between $14,000 and
$16,000. They weren't that fancy, but all the different things they
do now cost a mint. As for me, I had absolutely no idea you paid for
your obituary these days as an "add on". In fact, there is nothing to
do with the funeral that isn't an add on.

Robert

wrote:
On Jun 22, 9:34 pm, "Upscale" wrote:

....

... I had absolutely no idea you paid for
your obituary these days as an "add on". ...

Where I am familiar w/ "local practice", obituaries up to a certain
length for area residents are printed gratis in the local papers. I
don't recall the precise word length, but you can get a decent obit
published free. Longer or more elaborate ones or those from out of town
are paid.

--

"dpb" wrote in message ...
wrote:
On Jun 22, 9:34 pm, "Upscale" wrote:

...

... I had absolutely no idea you paid for
your obituary these days as an "add on". ...

Where I am familiar w/ "local practice", obituaries up to a certain length
for area residents are printed gratis in the local papers. I don't recall
the precise word length, but you can get a decent obit published free.
Longer or more elaborate ones or those from out of town are paid.

Some have the longer "obits" that you pay for and "death notices" that are
free. I'm opting for the free one. What more is there to say besides "Joe
Blough died"? Anyone that cares probably already knows and knows about my
life . Why spend money to tell the rest? Don't send flowers either; I
won't be able to see them. If you rally want me to have flowers, send them
now and I can even thank you for them.

Edwin Pawlowski wrote:
"dpb" wrote in message ...
wrote:
On Jun 22, 9:34 pm, "Upscale" wrote:

...

... I had absolutely no idea you paid for
your obituary these days as an "add on". ...
Where I am familiar w/ "local practice", obituaries up to a certain length
for area residents are printed gratis in the local papers. I don't recall
the precise word length, but you can get a decent obit published free.
Longer or more elaborate ones or those from out of town are paid.

Some have the longer "obits" that you pay for and "death notices" that are
free. I'm opting for the free one. What more is there to say besides "Joe
Blough died"? Anyone that cares probably already knows and knows about my
life . Why spend money to tell the rest? Don't send flowers either; I
won't be able to see them. If you rally want me to have flowers, send them
now and I can even thank you for them.

That's also a practice -- that was common in TN iirc.

You're certainly free to opt for whatever you want...

The obituary is an interesting thing -- superficially your analysis is
"spot on". But, depending on circumstances, it can be much more than
one realizes. Certainly far too complex a subject to digress into, but
one often never knows how others react or are affected by their direct
or indirect knowledge of another.

As others long before me have observed, funerals aren't for the dead,
they're for those who remain after...

--

On Sat, 23 Jun 2007 13:42:17 GMT, "Edwin Pawlowski"
wrote:


"dpb" wrote in message ...
wrote:
On Jun 22, 9:34 pm, "Upscale" wrote:

...

... I had absolutely no idea you paid for
your obituary these days as an "add on". ...

Where I am familiar w/ "local practice", obituaries up to a certain length
for area residents are printed gratis in the local papers. I don't recall
the precise word length, but you can get a decent obit published free.
Longer or more elaborate ones or those from out of town are paid.

Some have the longer "obits" that you pay for and "death notices" that are
free. I'm opting for the free one. What more is there to say besides "Joe
Blough died"? Anyone that cares probably already knows and knows about my
life . Why spend money to tell the rest? Don't send flowers either; I
won't be able to see them. If you rally want me to have flowers, send them
now and I can even thank you for them.


Is there a genealogist in your family? Those of us who think highly
of our ancestors (if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be here ;-)
really appreaciate those long-winded obits. They often give married
names of sisters and aunts that would otherwise be difficult to trace.

John

" wrote in
ups.com:

On Jun 22, 7:11 pm, "SonomaProducts.com" wrote:
You are one hell of a cheap Scot (Written by William Wallace so I
have a right). 1/2" ply? I can just see the solemn pall bearers
moving up the steps of the church and the bottom falling out of the
darn 1/2" CDX box and the poor deceased taking a big bounce on the
way back down the steps

Sorry for the dark humor.

Well, I thought it was pretty damn funny. I have been to two funerals
in the last 9 months of "family" members. A little levity on the
subject is well appreciated.

I am now wondering if Barry thought of using OSB. That 7/16" is a lot
stronger than many think... ;^)

Robert


My mother wanted 'cheap as possible', but I couldn't deal with the notion
of a cardboard tray for the cremation. So, 3/4" maple cabinet ply, with 8
or 10 coats of hand rubbed shellac, on a box that lasted maybe 6 days from
the start of the process.

It's just what she would have wanted. And building it was exactly what I
needed to be doing then.

My dad wants one just like it, just not terribly soon.

Patriarch,
who knows there are a lot of ways to deal with the passage out of this
life...

Patriarch wrote:
....
Patriarch,
who knows there are a lot of ways to deal with the passage out of this
life...

I think some of the really exotic caskets in the South Sea islands and
other places are really pretty cool...

FWW had an article some time back --

--

On Fri, 22 Jun 2007 21:34:52 -0500, "Upscale"
wrote:

Hell, I've instructed my best friend who has been designated my executor and
sole beneficiary, to have the cheapest funeral he can buy, or if possible
not to have one at all. He's to take some money I've put aside and take any
friends of mine out, feed them dinner and get them drunk. Damned if I'm
going to have what used to be my money wasted just to get me into the
ground. Cremation and no church service, that's what I want.

Same here. I don't want a funeral, period. I want to be dumped in a
ditch or shoved overboard and eaten by fishes or whatever. Stuff me
and use me as a coat rack, what do I care, I'm dead. I don't want to
be pumped full of chemicals and put on display, just get rid of my
body and get on with your lives already.

dpb wrote in :

Patriarch wrote:
...
Patriarch,
who knows there are a lot of ways to deal with the passage out of this
life...

I think some of the really exotic caskets in the South Sea islands and
other places are really pretty cool...

FWW had an article some time back --

--


I missed the FWW article, I guess. There's about a 12 year hole in my
collection, in the early color era.

You're not talking about the boat they build, set the body on it, and set
it afloat, afire, down the river, are you? That's a bit non-standard, even
for most Californians. ;-)

Patriarch

Fri, Jun 22, 2007, 9:34pm (EDT-1) (Upscale) doth
sayeth:
Hell, I've instructed my best friend who has been designated my executor
and sole beneficiary, to have the cheapest funeral he can buy, or if
possible not to have one at all. snip

I've told my family I want to be cremated when it gets to that
stage. Supposedly my veteran's benefits will cover all the cost.
That'll leave a lot more for them. My mother now, she has probably
everything pre-paid that can be pre-paid.



JOAT
If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton

"John" wrote in message

Is there a genealogist in your family? Those of us who think highly
of our ancestors (if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be here ;-)
really appreaciate those long-winded obits. They often give married
names of sisters and aunts that would otherwise be difficult to trace.

John


Why so difficult? If someone can put it together for a $300 obituary, that
same relative can do it now for free or maybe a lunch. That is my point of
going for cheap. If you really give a damn about me, lets have a beer
later, not after I'm dead.

On Sun, 24 Jun 2007 02:51:23 GMT, "Edwin Pawlowski"
wrote:


"John" wrote in message

Is there a genealogist in your family? Those of us who think highly
of our ancestors (if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be here ;-)
really appreaciate those long-winded obits. They often give married
names of sisters and aunts that would otherwise be difficult to trace.

John


Why so difficult? If someone can put it together for a $300 obituary, that
same relative can do it now for free or maybe a lunch. That is my point of
going for cheap. If you really give a damn about me, lets have a beer
later, not after I'm dead.


I would like nothing better than a 2 hour lunch with my grandparents,
all of whom have been dead for more than 30 years.

Little things -
When did my mother and I live with you?
When did we live in the house on Rayner?
What do you know about my father's death?

That not being available, I'll take some verbose obits and family
letters instead.

John

On Sat, 23 Jun 2007 11:02:17 +1200, Barry Lennox
wrote:

See the subject line, I know this thread has come up at times in the
wreck, but I still can't find any plans.

snip .


Many thanks for all the replies, I now have a couple of good plans, It
looks like they all use 3/4 or 4/4 ply. Seems overkill to me, I put
some 1/2 ply on a couple of 4x2s and bounced on it, it didn't break.
This is all done in the name of economy.

I'm not going to give these funeral vultures a penny more than
necessary. Cremation, DIY coffin, free orbit, NO flowers.

I'm even toying with the idea of donating my body to "medical science"
A medical university throws you into a big tank of preservative and
students use bits for anatomy practice. That is ZERO cost, but I might
strike some problems from family.

This is not an urgent problem, just thinking ahead 30-40-50 ?? years.
So many projects, so little time!

"overkill" he says for coffins !! What a great straight line :-)
If you really want to go cheap, cremation, load the ashes into
the shop vac on blow and poof - you're out of here !!

mikey

"Barry Lennox" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 23 Jun 2007 11:02:17 +1200, Barry Lennox
wrote:

See the subject line, I know this thread has come up at times in the
wreck, but I still can't find any plans.

snip .


Many thanks for all the replies, I now have a couple of good plans, It
looks like they all use 3/4 or 4/4 ply. Seems overkill to me, I put
some 1/2 ply on a couple of 4x2s and bounced on it, it didn't break.
This is all done in the name of economy.

I'm not going to give these funeral vultures a penny more than
necessary. Cremation, DIY coffin, free orbit, NO flowers.

I'm even toying with the idea of donating my body to "medical science"
A medical university throws you into a big tank of preservative and
students use bits for anatomy practice. That is ZERO cost, but I might
strike some problems from family.

This is not an urgent problem, just thinking ahead 30-40-50 ?? years.
So many projects, so little time!

Barry Lennox wrote:

I'm even toying with the idea of donating my body to "medical science"
A medical university throws you into a big tank of preservative and
students use bits for anatomy practice. That is ZERO cost, but I might
strike some problems from family.


I, personally, know of a guy who went that route. When the time came,
his family couldn't afford to ship his body to the university and the
university wouldn't come & get it. I learned of his death and the plight
of the family too late to be of any assistance.

He's now at the Detroit Science Center as part of a traveling anatomical
exhibition.

Not my cup of tea.

I want a cheapo box, cremation, storage for one year then dug into the
root zone in my garden on the anniversary of the cremation.


---
avast! Antivirus: Outbound message clean.
Virus Database (VPS): 000752-2, 06/27/2007
Tested on: 6/28/2007 2:12:08 AM
avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2007 ALWIL Software.
http://www.avast.com