Andy Hall wrote:


Is that meant to be a j-oak?

your 'avin a larch...

--
Cheers,

John.

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Mary Fisher wrote:

If you want to be cremated, what wood do you use, ash ?


I can see people being fired up to create some grate puns.

Don`t you find after the first few, you get sycamore?

--
Cheers,

John.

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Alan Holmes wrote:

Before the event of course - or for somebody else.


I'm thinking of getting one for myself!

Eccentric welsh landlady of my student lodgings spent a bit of a sum
burying her mother and thought it prudent to buy her own coffin for when
her own time comes. Placed it in the middle of the living room as a
coffee table. A Japanese TV company thought this strange enough (as if
there weren't enough strange things already in Japan) to send a TV film
crew to capture this as a newsworthy article on how the Brits prepare
for the inevitable. :-)

---

Adrian

On Sun, 17 Apr 2005 12:07:57 UTC, "Alan Holmes"
wrote:

In Corrie recently, one of the characters who was dying, made
arrangements
for a DIY coffin to be delivered.

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?

?

If it's a DIY coffin you DIY!

Might have guessed you'd have come up with something like that!(:-)

It was a self assembly coffin, but as I'm sure you never watch Corrie
you wouldn't have known!

I wonder if MFI stock them, or that dutch company?

You can buy flatpack ones on eBay...

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The information contained in this post is copyright the
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On Sun, 17 Apr 2005 13:48:03 +0100, John Rumm
wrote:

Andy Hall wrote:


Is that meant to be a j-oak?

your 'avin a larch...


An elmentary conclusion.



--

..andy

To email, substitute .nospam with .gl

David Lang wrote:
Perhaps IKEA do one with a silly name...
Popaclog?

In three sizes, popaclog, momaclog, and babaclog

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
All metal parts plated
So no danger of rust

Owain

Andy Hall wrote:
Popaclog?
We should send that to Kamprad's wife. Apparently, she comes up with
all the names.

I wonder what she'd call a pink towel rail

Owain

Mary Fisher wrote:
That's more like it. Still prefer the acorn idea - it gives you time.

But we don't always have time.

Owain

raden wrote:
Andy Wade writes
Andy Hall wrote:
Is that meant to be a j-oak?
g-rowan
If you want to be cremated, what wood do you use, ash ?

Only if you can't get a good deal elsewhere

Owain

John Rumm wrote:


Don`t you find after the first few, you get sycamore?

Fir goodness' sake, not that old chestnut again. A beech of basic
netiquette, I call it; at the risk of coming across hollier-than-bough,
I'd suggest you'd better sloe down with the tree puns.

Set Square wrote:


The mind boggles at the prospect of having to screw the lid down when you're
*inside* and *dead*! g

while getting all the slotheads lined up properly...

On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 22:04:35 +0100, "Set Square"
wrote:

The mind boggles at the prospect of having to screw the lid down when you're
*inside* and *dead*! g

There are coffin lid clips allow this. They're a pressed steel
turnbuckle that fit onto the top edge of the casket section. Some have
the thumbnail wings on _both_ sides of the wood - I've never found out
why.

"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
...

"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
. net...

"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
...

In Corrie recently, one of the characters who was dying, made
arrangements
for a DIY coffin to be delivered.

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?

?

If it's a DIY coffin you DIY!

Might have guessed you'd have come up with something like that!(:-)

I aim to please...

It was a self assembly coffin, but as I'm sure you never watch Corrie
you wouldn't have known!

I'veno idea what Corrie is. Remember, no telly.

I wonder if MFI stock them, or that dutch company?

I haven't seen them in B&Q yet, just a matter of time I suppose.

Before the event of course - or for somebody else.

I'm thinking of getting one for myself!

Make your own. You don't need anything fancy, it will only be seen once. You
could even leave instructions to cover it with a flag! Cardboard is good.

Mary
--
alan

"Adrian C" wrote in message
...
Alan Holmes wrote:

Before the event of course - or for somebody else.


I'm thinking of getting one for myself!

Eccentric welsh landlady

In wht way, apart from taking in students, was she eccentric?

of my student lodgings spent a bit of a sum
burying her mother and thought it prudent to buy her own coffin for when
her own time comes. Placed it in the middle of the living room as a coffee
table. A Japanese TV company thought this strange enough (as if there
weren't enough strange things already in Japan) to send a TV film crew to
capture this as a newsworthy article on how the Brits prepare for the
inevitable. :-)

---

Adrian

"Owain" wrote in message
...
Mary Fisher wrote:
That's more like it. Still prefer the acorn idea - it gives you time.

But we don't always have time.

I was rather hoping that we'd have to MAKE time ... :-)

Mary

Owain

"Stefek Zaba" wrote in message
...
John Rumm wrote:


Don`t you find after the first few, you get sycamore?

Fir goodness' sake, not that old chestnut again. A beech of basic
netiquette, I call it; at the risk of coming across hollier-than-bough,
I'd suggest you'd better sloe down with the tree puns.

OK, I'll branch off in a different direction ...

Mary

Mary Fisher wrote:
That's more like it. Still prefer the acorn idea - it gives you time.
But we don't always have time.
I was rather hoping that we'd have to MAKE time ... :-)

I was thinking of time of the sort we are given, not the sort we 'make'
by diversion from other things.

Owain

"John Rumm" wrote in message
...
Mary Fisher wrote:

If you want to be cremated, what wood do you use, ash ?


I can see people being fired up to create some grate puns.

Don`t you find after the first few, you get sycamore?

I woodn't say that ...

Mary

--
Cheers,

John.

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\================================================= ================/

"Owain" wrote in message
...
raden wrote:
Andy Wade writes
Andy Hall wrote:
Is that meant to be a j-oak?
g-rowan
If you want to be cremated, what wood do you use, ash ?

Only if you can't get a good deal elsewhere

This is getting hard.

Mary

Owain

"John Rumm" wrote in message
...
Andy Hall wrote:


Is that meant to be a j-oak?

your 'avin a larch...

'apple he'll stop soon.

Mary

--
Cheers,

John.

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\================================================= ================/

"Andy Hall" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 17 Apr 2005 13:48:03 +0100, John Rumm
wrote:

Andy Hall wrote:


Is that meant to be a j-oak?

your 'avin a larch...


An elmentary conclusion.

He's running rings round us, haw, haw!



--

.andy

To email, substitute .nospam with .gl

"Andy Dingley" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 22:04:35 +0100, "Set Square"
wrote:

The mind boggles at the prospect of having to screw the lid down when
you're
*inside* and *dead*! g

There are coffin lid clips allow this. They're a pressed steel
turnbuckle that fit onto the top edge of the casket section. Some have
the thumbnail wings on _both_ sides of the wood - I've never found out
why.

Just in case :-(

Mary

Part of this is the closed-shop attitude by most funeral directors
(many of which are now a very small number of chains...
Nestle.
Really?
Tell us more.

For some reason i`m having problems finding cites to back this up at the
moment, but if you ask any "independant" funeral director you`ll find out
why they make such a big thing of calling themselves independant.

--
Please add "[newsgroup]" in the subject of any personal replies via email
--- My new email address has "ngspamtrap" & @btinternet.com in it ;-) ---

Stefek Zaba wrote:

Fir goodness' sake, not that old chestnut again. A beech of basic
netiquette, I call it; at the risk of coming across hollier-than-bough,
I'd suggest you'd better sloe down with the tree puns.

I realise that my comments may not be poplar, but while I am at the elm
of this computer I shall dig deep and write what I want on any hawthorny
subject, and not bough to pressure from weeping willow types to
desist-duous! Hmm they are getting worse, perhaps I ought to get my coat
and leaf.

--
Cheers,

John.

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\================================================= ================/

On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 22:39:00 GMT, "David Lang"
wrote:

Perhaps IKEA do one with a silly name...


Popaclog?


Wasn't she the witch in Rentaghost?

(:-)

Graham

"Owain" wrote in message
...
Mary Fisher wrote:
That's more like it. Still prefer the acorn idea - it gives you time.
But we don't always have time.
I was rather hoping that we'd have to MAKE time ... :-)

I was thinking of time of the sort we are given, not the sort we 'make' by
diversion from other things.

You have to be determined, I'll admit. Occasionally I think I might just not
live for ever so I'll make do with how long it takes to make a few planks'
worth of oak :-)

Mary

Owain

On Sun, 17 Apr 2005 15:20:33 UTC, "Mary Fisher"
wrote:


"Andy Hall" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 17 Apr 2005 13:48:03 +0100, John Rumm
wrote:

Andy Hall wrote:


Is that meant to be a j-oak?

your 'avin a larch...


An elmentary conclusion.

He's running rings round us, haw, haw!

You're all barking mad.
--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
http://www.diybanter.com

"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
. net...

"Andy Dingley" wrote in message


Funerals are a disgusting trade, replete with rip-offs and
excessive markups.

I couldn't agree more.

My family has full instructions on what's to happen to us when we pop off.
No stranger must have anything to do with our bodies or the celebrations
or burial. Money saved will be used for the Party of Parties.

Hurrah! Got rid of the old gits at last! I've begun a collection of
champagne and have made a shroud. It will have to be re-used for the
other.

Mary


Have you considered a home burial? It would be good for the roses. My local
paper got exited a few years ago when a bereaved family buried their teenage
son in their garden.

Adam

Andy Dingley wrote:


There are coffin lid clips allow this. They're a pressed steel
turnbuckle that fit onto the top edge of the casket section. Some have
the thumbnail wings on _both_ sides of the wood - I've never found out
why.

Either to assuage old fears of being encoffinated when merely tired and
shagged out after the human equivalent of a long flight from the fiords...

....or so that Dr Who monstas can rise from their caskets on cue!

Mary Fisher wrote:
"Adrian C" wrote in message
...
Eccentric welsh landlady


In wht way, apart from taking in students, was she eccentric?

Off planet type interests... Never mind, she had a good heart to put up
with the nonsense that taking in 5 students (large house) alongside her
family.

---
Adrian

"John Rumm" wrote in message
...
Stefek Zaba wrote:

Fir goodness' sake, not that old chestnut again. A beech of basic
netiquette, I call it; at the risk of coming across hollier-than-bough,
I'd suggest you'd better sloe down with the tree puns.

I realise that my comments may not be poplar, but while I am at the elm of
this computer I shall dig deep and write what I want on any hawthorny
subject, and not bough to pressure from weeping willow types to
desist-duous! Hmm they are getting worse, perhaps I ought to get my coat
and leaf.

There was an item on Radio 4 tonight which said that punning was mostly a
male activity, along the lindes of "My pun's bigger than yours."

So I'll axe my participation now ...

Mary



--
Cheers,

John.

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\================================================= ================/

"Colin Wilson" wrote in message
t...
Part of this is the closed-shop attitude by most funeral directors
(many of which are now a very small number of chains...
Nestle.
Really?
Tell us more.

For some reason i`m having problems finding cites to back this up at the
moment,

That's a pity, I honestly would have liked to know more.

but if you ask any "independant" funeral director you`ll find out
why they make such a big thing of calling themselves independant.

I have no intention of going near any of thembut I imagine that they'd all
say that they were a centuries old faily business or the Co-op ...

.... and I'd believe them as much as I believe Our Glorious Leader.

Mary

"Adrian C" wrote in message
...


Eccentric welsh landlady


In what way, apart from taking in students, was she eccentric?

Off planet type interests

Oh come on!

You're talking to an old woman (who some folk consider eccentric), I need
more information!

Off planet type interests indeed! You mean she believed in God?

Mary

.... Never mind, she had a good heart to put up
with the nonsense that taking in 5 students (large house) alongside her
family.

More than I'd do ...

"Bob Eager" wrote in message news:176uZD2KcidF-pn2-
Andy Hall wrote:


Is that meant to be a j-oak?

your 'avin a larch...


An elmentary conclusion.

He's running rings round us, haw, haw!

You're all barking mad.

I deliberately witheld that one. It seemed too seedy ...

Mary

"Stefek Zaba" wrote in message
...
Andy Dingley wrote:


There are coffin lid clips allow this. They're a pressed steel
turnbuckle that fit onto the top edge of the casket section. Some have
the thumbnail wings on _both_ sides of the wood - I've never found out
why.

Either to assuage old fears of being encoffinated when merely tired and
shagged out after the human equivalent of a long flight from the fiords...

I'm hoping to do one of those in September ...

Mary

"ARWADSWORTH" wrote in message
. uk...

"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
. net...

"Andy Dingley" wrote in message


Funerals are a disgusting trade, replete with rip-offs and
excessive markups.

I couldn't agree more.

My family has full instructions on what's to happen to us when we pop
off. No stranger must have anything to do with our bodies or the
celebrations or burial. Money saved will be used for the Party of
Parties.

Hurrah! Got rid of the old gits at last! I've begun a collection of
champagne and have made a shroud. It will have to be re-used for the
other.

Mary


Have you considered a home burial? It would be good for the roses.

Already done. No roses though, we grow vegetables. I hate roses, unless they
give hips but there's only a certain amount of syrup or jelly one can
consume.

My local paper got exited a few years ago when a bereaved family buried
their teenage son in their garden.

Your local paper got exited?

You mean it was subsumed? Went out of business?

Mary
puzzled

Adam

In article , Mary
Fisher wrote:
I have no intention of going near any of thembut I imagine that
they'd all say that they were a centuries old faily business or the
Co-op ...

.... and I'd believe them as much as I believe Our Glorious Leader.

"Establised ...." and "family run" are pretty meaningless. Courtesy of
the OFT firms owned by Dignity plc (was SCI and before that Great
Southern/Hodgson/Kenyon) have to say so in their advertising and on
their premises. Before that you had the situation here in Twickenham
of two GSG owned firms advertising against one another to give the
impression of competition.

SCI, an American outfit, bought out GSG and Hodgson Kenyon in the
mid-1990's and were the subject of numerous media exposes thereafter
as the American bosses tried to make money by putting pressure on the
people at the sharp end (fancy a name and shame league table for
funeral arrangers - who sold the most/least last month?). Basically it
didn't work (apart from anything else the people being asked to act in
these ways really took exception to it) and the UK management bought
the business back from SCI renaming it as Dignity: from what I've
heard they've dropped the bad practices but are just more expensive
that most others.

--
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Free SEDBUK boiler database browser http://www.sda.co.uk/qsedbuk.htm
[Latest version QSEDBUK 1.10 released 4 April 2005]

"John Rumm" wrote in message
...
Mary Fisher wrote:

So I'll axe my participation now ...

You got me stumped girl... ;-)

Ah! You've twigged!

Mary


--
Cheers,

John.

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In message , Owain
writes
David Lang wrote:
Perhaps IKEA do one with a silly name...
Popaclog?

In three sizes, popaclog, momaclog, and babaclog

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
All metal parts plated

Not if you're going for cremation, metal parts aren't allowed

--
geoff

"Tony Bryer" wrote in message
...
In article , Mary
Fisher wrote:
I have no intention of going near any of thembut I imagine that
they'd all say that they were a centuries old family business or the
Co-op ...

.... and I'd believe them as much as I believe Our Glorious Leader.

"Establised ...." and "family run" are pretty meaningless.

I know that, you know that. But they still try it on.

Courtesy of
the OFT firms owned by Dignity plc (was SCI and before that Great
Southern/Hodgson/Kenyon) have to say so in their advertising and on
their premises. Before that you had the situation here in Twickenham
of two GSG owned firms advertising against one another to give the
impression of competition.

SCI, an American outfit, bought out GSG and Hodgson Kenyon in the
mid-1990's and were the subject of numerous media exposes thereafter
as the American bosses tried to make money by putting pressure on the
people at the sharp end (fancy a name and shame league table for
funeral arrangers - who sold the most/least last month?). Basically it
didn't work (apart from anything else the people being asked to act in
these ways really took exception to it) and the UK management bought
the business back from SCI renaming it as Dignity: from what I've
heard they've dropped the bad practices but are just more expensive
that most others.

Many years ago I read The AmericanWay of Death. It sickened me and I
determined then not to have anything to do with the awful business. The
closer I get to death the more determined I am.

Mary