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Alan Holmes April 16th 05 08:01 PM

DIY Coffins?
 

In Corrie recently, one of the characters who was dying, made arrangements
for a DIY coffin to be delivered.

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?

--
alan

reply to alan(dot)holmes27(at)virgin(dot)net




Mary Fisher April 16th 05 08:08 PM


"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
...

In Corrie recently, one of the characters who was dying, made arrangements
for a DIY coffin to be delivered.

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?


?

If it's a DIY coffin you DIY!

Before the event of course - or for somebody else.

Mary



raden April 16th 05 08:17 PM

In message , Alan Holmes
writes

In Corrie recently, one of the characters who was dying, made arrangements
for a DIY coffin to be delivered.

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?

Get some wood and DIY ... in between coronation street episodes
--
geoff

Stuart April 16th 05 08:32 PM

On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 19:01:24 GMT, "Alan Holmes"
wrote:


In Corrie recently, one of the characters who was dying, made arrangements
for a DIY coffin to be delivered.

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?


You might find something here ..
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en...offi ns&meta=

google is your friend..
Stuart






Shift THELEVER to reply.

John Stumbles April 16th 05 08:34 PM

BeeJay wrote:

On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 19:01:24 GMT, "Alan Holmes"
wrote:


In Corrie recently, one of the characters who was dying, made arrangements
for a DIY coffin to be delivered.

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?


You don't need to have a coffin. Cemeteries will accept a body in a
shroud. However you can go to the following websites for info on where
to purchase coffins from about £50 upwards.
http://www.eco-coffins.com/
http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk/


yesbut then they're not DIY, are they? :-)

Tony Bryer April 16th 05 08:50 PM

In article , John Stumbles
wrote:
You don't need to have a coffin. Cemeteries will accept a body in

a
shroud. However you can go to the following websites for info on

where
to purchase coffins from about £50 upwards.
http://www.eco-coffins.com/
http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk/


yesbut then they're not DIY, are they? :-)


OK perhaps I can suggest http://www.funeral.org.uk/only.htm :

"Chipboard Coffin £65
No hardwood content. The coffin is supplied without fittings,
interior or plate. It is ideal for painting by the customer."

I think that painting it will make it qualify as DIY.

--
Tony Bryer SDA UK 'Software to build on' http://www.sda.co.uk
Free SEDBUK boiler database browser http://www.sda.co.uk/qsedbuk.htm
[Latest version QSEDBUK 1.10 released 4 April 2005]



Andrew McKay April 16th 05 09:36 PM

On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 20:08:35 +0100, "Mary Fisher"
wrote:

Before the event of course - or for somebody else.


I guess we could have a whip round for IMM/DrKnobHead or whatever he
has transmogrified to this week. D'ya think he would take the hint?

Andrew

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Set Square April 16th 05 10:04 PM

In an earlier contribution to this discussion,
Alan Holmes wrote:

In Corrie recently, one of the characters who was dying, made
arrangements for a DIY coffin to be delivered.

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?



The mind boggles at the prospect of having to screw the lid down when you're
*inside* and *dead*! g
--
Cheers,
Set Square
______
Please reply to newsgroup. Reply address is invalid.



John Stumbles April 16th 05 10:19 PM

Tony Bryer wrote:

In article , John Stumbles
wrote:
You don't need to have a coffin. Cemeteries will accept a body in

a
shroud. However you can go to the following websites for info on

where
to purchase coffins from about £50 upwards.
http://www.eco-coffins.com/
http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk/


yesbut then they're not DIY, are they? :-)


OK perhaps I can suggest http://www.funeral.org.uk/only.htm :

"Chipboard Coffin £65
No hardwood content. The coffin is supplied without fittings,
interior or plate. It is ideal for painting by the customer."

I think that painting it will make it qualify as DIY.


No, must at least be self-assembly with an instruction sheet comprising
incomprehensible diagrams and no text or pidgin english, and selection of
fastenings not matching in number, size or position the various holes and
cutouts in the wooden pieces. Oh, and at least one piece of cardboard which
it's unclear whether it's part of the thing you're making or just
packaging.

;-)

raden April 16th 05 10:38 PM

In message , Tony Bryer
writes
In article , John Stumbles
wrote:
You don't need to have a coffin. Cemeteries will accept a body in

a
shroud. However you can go to the following websites for info on

where
to purchase coffins from about £50 upwards.
http://www.eco-coffins.com/
http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk/


yesbut then they're not DIY, are they? :-)


OK perhaps I can suggest http://www.funeral.org.uk/only.htm :

"Chipboard Coffin £65


But that would be SO unhealthy for the corpse

.... might even be deadly

--
geoff

Andrew Gabriel April 16th 05 10:44 PM

In article ,
"Alan Holmes" writes:

In Corrie recently, one of the characters who was dying, made arrangements
for a DIY coffin to be delivered.

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?


I've got this vision of the bottom dropping out as the 6 bearers
are lifting the thing onto their sholders. Well, it would be a
funeral to remember at least...

--
Andrew Gabriel

Frank Erskine April 16th 05 11:12 PM

On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 20:50:27 +0100, Tony Bryer
wrote:

In article , John Stumbles
wrote:
You don't need to have a coffin. Cemeteries will accept a body in

a
shroud. However you can go to the following websites for info on

where
to purchase coffins from about £50 upwards.
http://www.eco-coffins.com/
http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk/


yesbut then they're not DIY, are they? :-)


OK perhaps I can suggest http://www.funeral.org.uk/only.htm :

"Chipboard Coffin £65
No hardwood content. The coffin is supplied without fittings,
interior or plate. It is ideal for painting by the customer."

I think that painting it will make it qualify as DIY.


Only if you use magnolia or brilliant white emulsion.

:-)
--
Frank Erskine

Frank Erskine April 16th 05 11:14 PM

On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 21:19:27 GMT, John Stumbles
wrote:

Tony Bryer wrote:

In article , John Stumbles
wrote:
You don't need to have a coffin. Cemeteries will accept a body in

a
shroud. However you can go to the following websites for info on

where
to purchase coffins from about £50 upwards.
http://www.eco-coffins.com/
http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk/

yesbut then they're not DIY, are they? :-)


OK perhaps I can suggest http://www.funeral.org.uk/only.htm :

"Chipboard Coffin £65
No hardwood content. The coffin is supplied without fittings,
interior or plate. It is ideal for painting by the customer."

I think that painting it will make it qualify as DIY.


No, must at least be self-assembly with an instruction sheet comprising
incomprehensible diagrams and no text or pidgin english, and selection of
fastenings not matching in number, size or position the various holes and
cutouts in the wooden pieces. Oh, and at least one piece of cardboard which
it's unclear whether it's part of the thing you're making or just
packaging.

Perhaps IKEA do one with a silly name...

--
Frank Erskine

Frank Erskine April 16th 05 11:17 PM

On 16 Apr 2005 21:44:32 GMT, (Andrew
Gabriel) wrote:

In article ,
"Alan Holmes" writes:

In Corrie recently, one of the characters who was dying, made arrangements
for a DIY coffin to be delivered.

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?


I've got this vision of the bottom dropping out as the 6 bearers
are lifting the thing onto their sholders. Well, it would be a
funeral to remember at least...


Perhaps there ought to be Building Regulations for coffins/caskets.

Over to ODPM...

--
Frank Erskine

David Lang April 16th 05 11:39 PM

Perhaps IKEA do one with a silly name...


Popaclog?




Tony Bryer April 16th 05 11:40 PM

In article , John Stumbles
wrote:
No, must at least be self-assembly with an instruction sheet comprising
incomprehensible diagrams and no text or pidgin english, and selection
of fastenings not matching in number, size or position the various
holes and cutouts in the wooden pieces.


Ah, the Ikea one - probably called the Swedish equivalent of 'Happy' or
'Lively' g

--
Tony Bryer SDA UK 'Software to build on' http://www.sda.co.uk
Free SEDBUK boiler database browser http://www.sda.co.uk/qsedbuk.htm
[Latest version QSEDBUK 1.10 released 4 April 2005]



Andrew Gabriel April 16th 05 11:52 PM

In article ,
Frank Erskine writes:
Perhaps IKEA do one with a silly name...


Well, they do claim 10% of Europeans are now conceived on an Ikea
bed. 10% of Europeans buried/cremated in Ikea coffin could be their
next company target.

--
--
Andrew Gabriel

[email protected] April 17th 05 12:00 AM

B Thumbs wrote:
Frank Erskine wrote:


Perhaps there ought to be Building Regulations for coffins/caskets.

Over to ODPM...

An addednum to schedulewotever of the building regulations?



There are already burial regulations.

NT


Tony Bryer April 17th 05 12:14 AM

In article , Frank
Erskine wrote:
Perhaps there ought to be Building Regulations for coffins/caskets.

Over to ODPM...


There are US states where the funeral director lobby have managed to
get it made law that only a registered FD can sell caskets, thus
stopping discount casket outlets from setting up.

Elsewhere in the USA ...

"CHICAGO — From cradle to grave, Costco wants your business.
Literally. The warehouse retailer, which peddles everything from baby
cribs to giant jars of mustard to wood chippers, now hopes to close
the deal on your final purchase: a casket ... Two Chicago-area Costco
stores began test-marketing six models (all priced at $799.99) this
week."

--
Tony Bryer SDA UK 'Software to build on' http://www.sda.co.uk
Free SEDBUK boiler database browser http://www.sda.co.uk/qsedbuk.htm
[Latest version QSEDBUK 1.10 released 4 April 2005]



Andy Dingley April 17th 05 01:12 AM

On 16 Apr 2005 22:52:01 GMT, (Andrew
Gabriel) wrote:

Well, they do claim 10% of Europeans are now conceived on an Ikea
bed.


As they're currently offering £100 in vouchers for anyone showing up
with credible mattress receipt and birth certificate, that could cost
them !


(Bristol, allegedly)


Andy Dingley April 17th 05 01:18 AM

On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 19:01:24 GMT, "Alan Holmes"
wrote:

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?


Yes, web search.

Then find a funeral director who will handle the thing (or _really_
DIY it). Funerals are a disgusting trade, replete with rip-offs and
excessive markups. Part of this is the closed-shop attitude by most
funeral directors (many of which are now a very small number of
chains, operating under the name of old established local firms, whose
founders are long gone). There are good funeral directors who are
happy to use a coffin they didn't supply (or one they can supply at
reasonable cost) but they're the minority.

As just an average furniture maker I can comfortably beat any coffin
retail price, and do a better job.


Colin Wilson April 17th 05 03:11 AM

Part of this is the closed-shop attitude by most funeral directors
(many of which are now a very small number of chains...


Nestle.

The people that tell you their food is healthy are burying the evidence -
literally.

--
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Mary Fisher April 17th 05 08:00 AM


"John Stumbles" wrote in message
news:zjf8e.6560$443.1125@newsfe3-
yesbut then they're not DIY, are they? :-)


OK perhaps I can suggest http://www.funeral.org.uk/only.htm :

"Chipboard Coffin £65
No hardwood content. The coffin is supplied without fittings,
interior or plate. It is ideal for painting by the customer."

I think that painting it will make it qualify as DIY.


No, must at least be self-assembly with an instruction sheet comprising
incomprehensible diagrams and no text or pidgin english, and selection of
fastenings not matching in number, size or position the various holes and
cutouts in the wooden pieces. Oh, and at least one piece of cardboard
which
it's unclear whether it's part of the thing you're making or just
packaging.

;-)


I think you should start with an acorn.

Mary



Mary Fisher April 17th 05 08:00 AM


"David Lang" wrote in message
. uk...
Perhaps IKEA do one with a silly name...


Popaclog?


LOLALOT!






Mary Fisher April 17th 05 08:05 AM


"Andy Dingley" wrote in message


Funerals are a disgusting trade, replete with rip-offs and
excessive markups.


I couldn't agree more.

My family has full instructions on what's to happen to us when we pop off.
No stranger must have anything to do with our bodies or the celebrations or
burial. Money saved will be used for the Party of Parties.

Hurrah! Got rid of the old gits at last! I've begun a collection of
champagne and have made a shroud. It will have to be re-used for the other.

Mary



Mary Fisher April 17th 05 08:05 AM


"Colin Wilson" wrote in message
t...
Part of this is the closed-shop attitude by most funeral directors
(many of which are now a very small number of chains...


Nestle.


Really?

Tell us more.

Mary



The people that tell you their food is healthy are burying the evidence -
literally.

--
Please add "[newsgroup]" in the subject of any personal replies via email
--- My new email address has "ngspamtrap" & @btinternet.com in it ;-) ---




dave @ stejonda April 17th 05 08:32 AM

In message , Frank Erskine
writes
Perhaps IKEA do one with a silly name...


well almost Ikea:
http://home.arcor.de/edwink/anzeigen/coffin.jpg

or there's always Costco (readymade though):
http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product...rodid=11009034

but finally,
a book on how to make a coffin out of Ikea furnitu
www.thingsthatfall.com/doityourself.php

that's DIY innit?

--
dave @ stejonda

Andy Hall April 17th 05 09:34 AM

On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 22:39:00 GMT, "David Lang"
wrote:

Perhaps IKEA do one with a silly name...


Popaclog?



We should send that to Kamprad's wife. Apparently, she comes up with
all the names.



--

..andy

To email, substitute .nospam with .gl

Andy Hall April 17th 05 09:35 AM

On Sun, 17 Apr 2005 08:00:07 +0100, "Mary Fisher"
wrote:


"John Stumbles" wrote in message
news:zjf8e.6560$443.1125@newsfe3-
yesbut then they're not DIY, are they? :-)

OK perhaps I can suggest http://www.funeral.org.uk/only.htm :

"Chipboard Coffin £65
No hardwood content. The coffin is supplied without fittings,
interior or plate. It is ideal for painting by the customer."

I think that painting it will make it qualify as DIY.


No, must at least be self-assembly with an instruction sheet comprising
incomprehensible diagrams and no text or pidgin english, and selection of
fastenings not matching in number, size or position the various holes and
cutouts in the wooden pieces. Oh, and at least one piece of cardboard
which
it's unclear whether it's part of the thing you're making or just
packaging.

;-)


I think you should start with an acorn.

Mary

Is that meant to be a j-oak?




--

..andy

To email, substitute .nospam with .gl

Andy Wade April 17th 05 10:06 AM

Andy Hall wrote:

Is that meant to be a j-oak?


g-rowan

--
Andy

Mary Fisher April 17th 05 10:45 AM


"Andy Hall" wrote in message

Popaclog?



We should send that to Kamprad's wife. Apparently, she comes up with
all the names.


Who's Kamprad?

Mary


--

.andy

To email, substitute .nospam with .gl




Mary Fisher April 17th 05 10:48 AM


"dave @ stejonda" wrote in message
...
In message , Frank Erskine
writes
Perhaps IKEA do one with a silly name...


well almost Ikea:
http://home.arcor.de/edwink/anzeigen/coffin.jpg

or there's always Costco (readymade though):
http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product...rodid=11009034


Aren't they ghastly!

I love the reference to Acts of God though ...

but finally,
a book on how to make a coffin out of Ikea furnitu
www.thingsthatfall.com/doityourself.php

that's DIY innit?


That's more like it. Still prefer the acorn idea - it gives you time.

Mary

--
dave @ stejonda




Mary Fisher April 17th 05 10:48 AM


"Andy Hall" wrote in message
...

I think you should start with an acorn.

Mary

Is that meant to be a j-oak?


You deserve a tree-t.

Mary




--

.andy

To email, substitute .nospam with .gl




Andy Hall April 17th 05 12:00 PM

On Sun, 17 Apr 2005 10:45:45 +0100, "Mary Fisher"
wrote:


"Andy Hall" wrote in message

Popaclog?



We should send that to Kamprad's wife. Apparently, she comes up with
all the names.


Who's Kamprad?

Mary



Ingvar Kamprad, whose initials form the IK piece of the name, IKEA,
with E and A coming from the initials of Elmtaryd and Agunnaryd, the
names of the farm and village in southern Sweden where he grew up.

He started IKEA's furniture business in 1947 and much of it is still
run from Almhult, in the middle of nowhere in southern Sweden.

Nowadays, IKEA and its various holdings is owned by a Dutch trust
which is controlled by Kamprad and he himself lives in Switzerland.

In terms of net worth, he is the world's 6th richest man among

Bill Gates (Microsoft)
Warren Buffett (Berkshire Hathaway)
Lakshmi Mittal (Mittal Steel)
Carlos Slim Helu (Telecoms sector)
Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud (nephew of Saudi king)
Ingvar Kamprad (IKEA)
Paul Allem (Microsoft)
Karl Albrecht (Aldi)
Larry Ellison (Oracle)
S Robson Walton (Walmart)
John Walton (Walmart)
Alice Walton (Walmart)
Helen Walton (Walmart)
Kenneth Thomson (Thomson Corp)
Lilian Bettencourt (L'Oreal)
Bernard Arnault (LVMH)
Michael Dell (Dell Computer)
Sheldon Adelson (casinos)
Theo Albrecht (Aldi)


All of which goes to show that with a few exceptions one can make a
fortune out of selling lots of cheap tat and not giving a sh*t about
your customers.












--

..andy

To email, substitute .nospam with .gl

Andy Hall April 17th 05 12:00 PM

On Sun, 17 Apr 2005 10:48:01 +0100, "Mary Fisher"
wrote:


"dave @ stejonda" wrote in message
...
In message , Frank Erskine
writes
Perhaps IKEA do one with a silly name...


well almost Ikea:
http://home.arcor.de/edwink/anzeigen/coffin.jpg

or there's always Costco (readymade though):
http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product...rodid=11009034


Aren't they ghastly!


I am sure that they are appropriate for the customer base....



--

..andy

To email, substitute .nospam with .gl

raden April 17th 05 12:06 PM

In message , Andy Wade
writes
Andy Hall wrote:

Is that meant to be a j-oak?


g-rowan

If you want to be cremated, what wood do you use, ash ?

--
geoff

Mary Fisher April 17th 05 12:10 PM


"Andy Hall" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 17 Apr 2005 10:45:45 +0100, "Mary Fisher"
wrote:


"Andy Hall" wrote in message

Popaclog?



We should send that to Kamprad's wife. Apparently, she comes up with
all the names.


Who's Kamprad?

Mary



Ingvar Kamprad, whose initials form the IK piece of the name, IKEA,
with E and A coming from the initials of Elmtaryd and Agunnaryd, the
names of the farm and village in southern Sweden where he grew up.


Thanks.

He started IKEA's furniture business in 1947 and much of it is still
run from Almhult, in the middle of nowhere in southern Sweden.

Nowadays, IKEA and its various holdings is owned by a Dutch trust
which is controlled by Kamprad and he himself lives in Switzerland.

In terms of net worth, he is the world's 6th richest man among

Bill Gates (Microsoft)
Warren Buffett (Berkshire Hathaway)
Lakshmi Mittal (Mittal Steel)
Carlos Slim Helu (Telecoms sector)
Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud (nephew of Saudi king)
Ingvar Kamprad (IKEA)
Paul Allem (Microsoft)
Karl Albrecht (Aldi)
Larry Ellison (Oracle)
S Robson Walton (Walmart)
John Walton (Walmart)
Alice Walton (Walmart)
Helen Walton (Walmart)
Kenneth Thomson (Thomson Corp)
Lilian Bettencourt (L'Oreal)
Bernard Arnault (LVMH)
Michael Dell (Dell Computer)
Sheldon Adelson (casinos)
Theo Albrecht (Aldi)


All of which goes to show that with a few exceptions one can make a
fortune out of selling lots of cheap tat and not giving a sh*t about
your customers.


You wouldn't do that of course, given the brains ... :-)

Mary












--

.andy

To email, substitute .nospam with .gl




Mary Fisher April 17th 05 12:12 PM


"raden" wrote in message
...
In message , Andy Wade
writes
Andy Hall wrote:

Is that meant to be a j-oak?


g-rowan

If you want to be cremated, what wood do you use, ash ?


I can see people being fired up to create some grate puns.

Mary
--
geoff




Andy Wade April 17th 05 12:44 PM

Mary Fisher wrote:

Who's Kamprad?


http://entrepreneurs.about.com/cs/fa...varkamprad.htm

--
Andy

Alan Holmes April 17th 05 01:07 PM


"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
. net...

"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
...

In Corrie recently, one of the characters who was dying, made
arrangements
for a DIY coffin to be delivered.

Does anyone know if these things are really available, and where from?


?

If it's a DIY coffin you DIY!


Might have guessed you'd have come up with something like that!(:-)

It was a self assembly coffin, but as I'm sure you never watch Corrie
you wouldn't have known!

I wonder if MFI stock them, or that dutch company?

I haven't seen them in B&Q yet, just a matter of time I suppose.

Before the event of course - or for somebody else.


I'm thinking of getting one for myself!

--
alan

reply to alan(dot)holmes27(at)virgin(dot)net




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