Well the Mound of the Hound of the Baskervilles was left outside my garden
gate last night. I played back my CCTV and I found the culprit and owner.
Now 24 hours later the same person has walked past with the same dog and
left another mound further down the street. I was ready this time and I
followed them home.

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

--
Adam

(1) I know what I should do but I doubt I will.

ARWadsworth wrote:
Well the Mound of the Hound of the Baskervilles was left outside my garden
gate last night. I played back my CCTV and I found the culprit and owner.
Now 24 hours later the same person has walked past with the same dog and
left another mound further down the street. I was ready this time and I
followed them home.

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

put it in the recycling bin. Or on the roses. Its fabulous compost.

When not mixed up with plastic bags.

On 8 Sep, 19:28, "ARWadsworth" wrote:

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

"scoop n serve" (tennis style)...?

Jim K

On 8 Sep, 19:28, "ARWadsworth" wrote:

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

Got any spare Amazon boxes handy?

Got a Stanley knife to weaken the bottom of them?

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "ARWadsworth"
saying something like:


Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

Traditional schoolboy method.
Place in paper bag.
Place paper bag in owner's porch (or Porsche).
Set paper bag alight.
Ring doorbell.
Hide behind hedge.
Watch as owner answers door and stamps out the flames.

or...

Simply bag it up and put in a Jiffy and post it to him.

ARWadsworth wrote:
Well the Mound of the Hound of the Baskervilles was left outside my
garden gate last night. I played back my CCTV and I found the culprit
and owner. Now 24 hours later the same person has walked past with the
same dog and left another mound further down the street. I was ready
this time and I followed them home.

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with
the dog ****(1).

Letterbox, with a courteous covering note.

Steve Walker wrote:
ARWadsworth wrote:
Well the Mound of the Hound of the Baskervilles was left outside my
garden gate last night. I played back my CCTV and I found the culprit
and owner. Now 24 hours later the same person has walked past with the
same dog and left another mound further down the street. I was ready
this time and I followed them home.

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with
the dog ****(1).

Letterbox, with a courteous covering note.


Madam, I think you've dropped something?

Oh all right. Bleed to death...

On Sep 9, 6:28 am, "ARWadsworth"
wrote:
Well the Mound of the Hound of the Baskervilles was left outside my garden
gate last night. I played back my CCTV and I found the culprit and owner.
Now 24 hours later the same person has walked past with the same dog and
left another mound further down the street. I was ready this time and I
followed them home.

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

In NZ it's illegal to not pick up your dog turds. Is there such a law
in the UK?
Otherwise get some scary looking mates with you and knock on his door
and tell him to never do that again.
Or put a video capture of him up in public somewhere

On 8 Sep, 19:34, Jim K wrote:
On 8 Sep, 19:28, "ARWadsworth" wrote:

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

"scoop n serve" (tennis style)...?

Jim K

I'm not too sure the use of a tennis racket to serve dog turds
overhand is all together wise. Isn't there a danger of the strings
doing the obvious to said turds whilst you're underneath?

On 8 Sep, 19:28, "ARWadsworth" wrote:
Well the Mound of the Hound of the Baskervilles was left outside my garden
gate last night. I played back my CCTV and I found the culprit and owner.
Now 24 hours later the same person has walked past with the same dog and
left another mound further down the street. I was ready this time and I
followed them home.

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

--
Adam

(1) I know what I should do but I doubt I will.

Funny, you're one step ahead of me .... a few times I have notice some
"neighbour" (we're in a cul-de-sac, so I doubt it's a casual passer-
by) has let their dog crap on our drive. I have toyed with the idea of
a webcam overlooking the area.

If I do ever get round to it, I'd like to think I'd parcel it up and
send it with a still from the cam...

Matty F wrote:
On Sep 9, 6:28 am, "ARWadsworth"
wrote:
Well the Mound of the Hound of the Baskervilles was left outside my garden
gate last night. I played back my CCTV and I found the culprit and owner.
Now 24 hours later the same person has walked past with the same dog and
left another mound further down the street. I was ready this time and I
followed them home.

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

In NZ it's illegal to not pick up your dog turds. Is there such a law
in the UK?

No.

Unlike NZ we have indigenous wildlife beyond a flightless bird.

With foxes roaming the countryside, it is hardly reasonable to penalise
dog owners from adding to the piles of poo that are deposited by the
abundant species that roam in the areas most suburbanites don't go.

Agricultural land is exempt: A fact that many people who go to walk in
it don't know, which is why occasionally we find plastic bags full of
dog poo in the fields here. Id rather have the dog poo.

Tim Streater wrote:
In article ,
The Natural Philosopher wrote:

Matty F wrote:
On Sep 9, 6:28 am, "ARWadsworth"
wrote:
Well the Mound of the Hound of the Baskervilles was left outside my
garden
gate last night. I played back my CCTV and I found the culprit and
owner.
Now 24 hours later the same person has walked past with the same
dog and
left another mound further down the street. I was ready this time
and I
followed them home.

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do
with the
dog ****(1).
In NZ it's illegal to not pick up your dog turds. Is there such a law
in the UK?

No.

Yes, but it has to be enforced by the local council and there has to be
evidence blah blah. Certainly where I used to live, South Cambs DC had
signs up saying £1000 fine and so on.

Unlike NZ we have indigenous wildlife beyond a flightless bird.

With foxes roaming the countryside, it is hardly reasonable to
penalise dog owners from adding to the piles of poo that are deposited
by the abundant species that roam in the areas most suburbanites don't
go.

Oh I think it's entirely reasonable to penalise klods who take their
dogs for a walk on public rights of way footpaths just so they can use
it as a latrine.

Agricultural land is exempt: A fact that many people who go to walk in
it don't know, which is why occasionally we find plastic bags full of
dog poo in the fields here. Id rather have the dog poo.

Exempt from what?

possble imposition of dog crap byelaws.

On 9 Sep, 11:32, The Natural Philosopher wrote:

Agricultural land is exempt: A fact that many people who go to walk in
it don't know, which is why occasionally we find plastic bags full of
dog poo in the fields here. Id rather have the dog poo.

There was a bit in the UK news recently, about farmers who would like
dog owners to pick up and remove dog turds. Apparently it can contains
a bug which is responsible for a large proportion of cows miscarrying.
Google will find it for anyone who's interested.

There are laws in UK urban areas, which chav-scum with status-symbol
agressive dogs ignor. Council wardens issue penalties to pensioners
who can't bend to collect the crap or school kids dropping litter. The
police are hiding in their stations.

I saw a blind man fumbling around to bag up his guide dog's deposit;
there's no excuse for most others.

Onetap wrote:
On 9 Sep, 11:32, The Natural Philosopher wrote:

Agricultural land is exempt: A fact that many people who go to walk in
it don't know, which is why occasionally we find plastic bags full of
dog poo in the fields here. Id rather have the dog poo.

There was a bit in the UK news recently, about farmers who would like
dog owners to pick up and remove dog turds. Apparently it can contains
a bug which is responsible for a large proportion of cows miscarrying.
Google will find it for anyone who's interested.


Not half as much as foxes.

Foxes are disease ridden vermin, by and large.

Most dogs are not. They are usually wormed and fed clean food, ot carrion.


There are laws in UK urban areas, which chav-scum with status-symbol
agressive dogs ignor. Council wardens issue penalties to pensioners
who can't bend to collect the crap or school kids dropping litter. The
police are hiding in their stations.

Towns are no place for dogs anyway.


I saw a blind man fumbling around to bag up his guide dog's deposit;
there's no excuse for most others.

"I wuz caught short, m'lud. Wuff! Wuff!"

I'd rather prosecute the countless mums who drop little Johnny's
knickers in the streets and verges.

Or toss nappies around to NOT rot.
At least turds are biodegradable.

In article
,
Matty F wrote:
In NZ it's illegal to not pick up your dog turds. Is there such a law
in the UK?

Local bye-laws only IIRC. But a responsible dog owner will do it anyway.

--
*Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet*

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

In article ,
The Natural Philosopher wrote:
Towns are no place for dogs anyway.

Don't be silly. Lots of open spaces round here. Besides, dogs shouldn't be
left to roam where they please, so unless you own a country estate, it
makes no difference.

--
*There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On 08/09/2010 19:28, ARWadsworth wrote:
Well the Mound of the Hound of the Baskervilles was left outside my garden
gate last night. I played back my CCTV and I found the culprit and owner.
Now 24 hours later the same person has walked past with the same dog and
left another mound further down the street. I was ready this time and I
followed them home.

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

If you know where they live, then scoop up the poop and leave it on
their door step for the following morning, but keep it close to the
threshold. You never know, they might come out for the morning milk in
bare feet.

I'm going to the mine either Monday, or Tuesday and will keep you informed.

Dave

On 9 Sep, 09:02, m1ss_wh1te wrote:
On 8 Sep, 19:34, Jim K wrote:

On 8 Sep, 19:28, "ARWadsworth" wrote:

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

"scoop n serve" (tennis style)...?

Jim K

I'm not too sure the use of a tennis racket to serve dog turds
overhand is all together wise. Isn't there a danger of the strings
doing the obvious to said turds whilst you're underneath?

no sh1t sherlock...;)

(with the implement of scoopage in the manner of a tennis serve -
kapeesh?)

Jim K

"Dave" wrote in message
...


If you know where they live, then scoop up the poop and leave it on their
door step for the following morning, but keep it close to the threshold.
You never know, they might come out for the morning milk in bare feet.

I'm going to the mine either Monday, or Tuesday and will keep you
informed.

See you on youtube then?

On 9 Sep, 18:57, "dennis@home" wrote:
"Dave" wrote in message

...

If you know where they live, then scoop up the poop and leave it on their
door step for the following morning, but keep it close to the threshold.
You never know, they might come out for the morning milk in bare feet.

I'm going to the mine either Monday, or Tuesday and will keep you
informed.

See you on youtube then?

suitably disguised I hope (to avoid another Dennis-singeing newsgroup
debacle)

Jim K

"Jim K" wrote in message
...
On 9 Sep, 18:57, "dennis@home" wrote:
"Dave" wrote in message

...

If you know where they live, then scoop up the poop and leave it on
their
door step for the following morning, but keep it close to the
threshold.
You never know, they might come out for the morning milk in bare feet.

I'm going to the mine either Monday, or Tuesday and will keep you
informed.

See you on youtube then?

suitably disguised I hope (to avoid another Dennis-singeing newsgroup
debacle)

It was fun while it lasted.

dennis@home wrote:
"Dave" wrote in message
...


If you know where they live, then scoop up the poop and leave it on
their door step for the following morning, but keep it close to the
threshold. You never know, they might come out for the morning milk
in bare feet. I'm going to the mine either Monday, or Tuesday and will
keep you
informed.

See you on youtube then?

Why would you see Dave on youtube?
--
Adam

In message
, Jim
K writes
On 9 Sep, 09:02, m1ss_wh1te wrote:
On 8 Sep, 19:34, Jim K wrote:

On 8 Sep, 19:28, "ARWadsworth" wrote:

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to
do with the
dog ****(1).

"scoop n serve" (tennis style)...?

Jim K

I'm not too sure the use of a tennis racket to serve dog turds
overhand is all together wise. Isn't there a danger of the strings
doing the obvious to said turds whilst you're underneath?

no sh1t sherlock...;)

VBG


--
geoff

Owain wrote:

On Sep 9, 12:05 pm, Onetap wrote:
I saw a blind man fumbling around to bag up his guide dog's deposit;
there's no excuse for most others.

Guide dogs are exempt from local pick-up laws, but most are trained to
do it in the gutter anyway.

I suppose doing it on the roof keeps the deposits out of sight.
But hardly out of mind. It'll clog the downpipes, won't it?

Onetap wrote:

Apparently it can contains a bug which is responsible for a large
proportion of cows miscarrying. Google will find it for anyone who's
interested.

It's not "a" or "a bug" it is three parasitic diseases, neospora,
sarcocytosis and toxoplasmosis. All can cause abortions in cattle. The
diseases can also be contracted by humans with similar consequences.

TNP's advice to put dog**** on plants is yet another sign of his idiocy.
If vegetables are grown in the same bed then there's a risk of the
diseases in the dog crap being picked up by humans.

On Sep 9, 8:52 pm, Jethro wrote:

Funny, you're one step ahead of me .... a few times I have notice some
"neighbour" (we're in a cul-de-sac, so I doubt it's a casual passer-
by) has let their dog crap on our drive. I have toyed with the idea of
a webcam overlooking the area.

Almost every day I used to find a dog turd right where I stand to
check my letter box.Eventually I pointed my sensor light at the
letterbox, and the turds stopped.
Dog walkers are creatures of habit. Now thatI have CCTV I see the
same elderly man walking in the dark letting his dog **** just
anywhere. I think his dog has died since he now walks alone.

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Matty F
saying something like:

Dog walkers are creatures of habit. Now thatI have CCTV I see the
same elderly man walking in the dark letting his dog **** just
anywhere. I think his dog has died since he now walks alone.

Are you sure it was dog ****?

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Ronald Raygun
saying something like:

Guide dogs are exempt from local pick-up laws, but most are trained to
do it in the gutter anyway.

I suppose doing it on the roof keeps the deposits out of sight.
But hardly out of mind. It'll clog the downpipes, won't it?

There was a thread last week about the necessary fall on the guttering.
At the right speed, it should shoot down the pipe with all the speed of
a speedy thing.

On Sep 10, 11:07 pm, Grimly Curmudgeon
wrote:
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Matty F
saying something like:

Dog walkers are creatures of habit. Now thatI have CCTV I see the
same elderly man walking in the dark letting his dog **** just
anywhere. I think his dog has died since he now walks alone.

Are you sure it was dog ****?

Of course it was. A bunch of kids walked through it and made quite a
fuss. There were leaves on the footpath so the **** was not easy to
see. I cleaned up the large mess. Then I went through the video to see
who had made the mess, and it ws the dog of an elderly man. Then I
checked other days and saw the same dog making a mess on the otherside
of the road.

On Thu, 09 Sep 2010 01:02:41 -0700, m1ss_wh1te wrote:
I'm not too sure the use of a tennis racket to serve dog turds overhand
is all together wise. Isn't there a danger of the strings doing the
obvious to said turds whilst you're underneath?

Good tennis skills are a prerequisite for working at the Oxo cube
factory...

On Thu, 09 Sep 2010 04:05:16 -0700, Onetap wrote:
Apparently it can contains a
bug which is responsible for a large proportion of cows miscarrying.

********. They miscarry because they can't stand on their hind legs, and
have no hands.

Jim K wrote:
On 8 Sep, 19:28, "ARWadsworth" wrote:

Satan get thee behind me. My mind is full of ideas as to what to do with the
dog ****(1).

"scoop n serve" (tennis style)...?

Someone did that (using a hockey stick) through the window next to my
desk when I was at school.

Pete

On 11/09/2010 in message Pete
Verdon wrote:

Someone did that (using a hockey stick) through the window next to my desk
when I was at school.

Did any of the **** hit the fan :-)

--
Jeff Gaines Dorset UK
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant