.... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't need a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing. Still
get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

[address redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools, which
there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


Won't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

I'm normally such a reasonable person (ha!)

Cheers

Tim

PS

Am I going to prision now?

Tim S wrote:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg

ROFL!

Tim S wrote:
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't
need a licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing.
Still get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

[address redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools,
which there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


Won't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

I'm normally such a reasonable person (ha!)

Bloody brilliant!


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

The Medway Handyman coughed up some electrons that declared:

Tim S wrote:
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't
need a licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing.
Still get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

[address redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools,
which there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


Won't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

I'm normally such a reasonable person (ha!)

Bloody brilliant!



Yes - it's really in the postbox as of now.

Based on my experience working in the JobCentre, I expect the staff will pin
it to the wall in the tearoom, along with the other best 10 of the
month ;-

What I really would like is for their enforcer to show up in person, whilst
I'm wearing my steelies and have a wide variety of lethal powertools to
hand.

On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:18:53 +0000, Tim S wrote:

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg

I like it :-)

Unfortunately 99.9% of the population are totally addicted to the Idiot's
Lantern and find it impossible to believe that there are still some of us
who never watch it :-(
--
Regards,

Hugh Jampton

Hugh Jampton coughed up some electrons that declared:

On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:18:53 +0000, Tim S wrote:

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg

I like it :-)

Unfortunately 99.9% of the population are totally addicted to the Idiot's
Lantern and find it impossible to believe that there are still some of us
who never watch it :-(

I watch it when I wish to achieve selective vegetative degeneration, and I
have a bloody licence at the address where the TV is - which makes me
doubleplus****edoff.

Must be one of those days. Can't get my domain registrar to unlock my domain
so I can get my ISP to take it over. Two polite phone calls have had me
assured it would be actioned today. Not...

Last email threatened them with a cron job auto-emailing a support ticket in
to them every 5 minutes until it's done, if they don't sort it out
tomorrow. I will too...

You forgot to say that you won't be calling their revenue sharing 0844
number, and was the purpose of the letter to gather that revenue...
--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
http://www.diybanter.com

On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:53:58 UTC, Tim S wrote:

Hugh Jampton coughed up some electrons that declared:

On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:18:53 +0000, Tim S wrote:

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg

I like it :-)

Unfortunately 99.9% of the population are totally addicted to the Idiot's
Lantern and find it impossible to believe that there are still some of us
who never watch it :-(

I watch it when I wish to achieve selective vegetative degeneration, and I
have a bloody licence at the address where the TV is - which makes me
doubleplus****edoff.

Must be one of those days. Can't get my domain registrar to unlock my domain
so I can get my ISP to take it over. Two polite phone calls have had me
assured it would be actioned today. Not...

Last email threatened them with a cron job auto-emailing a support ticket in
to them every 5 minutes until it's done, if they don't sort it out
tomorrow. I will too...

Give them a deadline, and say that after that you're going to Nominet.
That tends to do it..

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
http://www.diybanter.com

Bob Eager coughed up some electrons that declared:

Give them a deadline, and say that after that you're going to Nominet.
That tends to do it..


Yes - an excellent tactic. Before or after I mail-bomb them?

Whilst it's tempting, the most effective tactic is to chuck their
letters straight in the bin.

In case anyone doesn't know, TV Licensing is a private company with no
special legal powers of any sort.

If someone came round your door demanding to inspect your toaster,
you'd probably send them packing.

TV Licensing is in exactly that position. But they pretend otherwise.

So give them nothing, nada, not your name, not the time of day. Don't
give them the tiniest scrap of information about yourself, your home
or any other qustion they may ask.

Bob Eager coughed up some electrons that declared:

You forgot to say that you won't be calling their revenue sharing 0844
number, and was the purpose of the letter to gather that revenue...

It would be worth the money to give them a verbal rendition of my letter
I'd have to do it from work - my colleague would make an excellent duo for
this sort of thing - he's an expert in berating idiot suppliers to their
ears.

Though I suspect the gentle sarcasm may be lost on the Indian bloke at the
other end.

coughed up some electrons that declared:

Whilst it's tempting, the most effective tactic is to chuck their
letters straight in the bin.

In case anyone doesn't know, TV Licensing is a private company with no
special legal powers of any sort.

If someone came round your door demanding to inspect your toaster,
you'd probably send them packing.

TV Licensing is in exactly that position. But they pretend otherwise.

So give them nothing, nada, not your name, not the time of day. Don't
give them the tiniest scrap of information about yourself, your home
or any other qustion they may ask.

Agree generally.

The only special info they have is a list of current licenses and a list of
reception apparatus sold by the bigger traders (you did tell the bloke your
correct address when you paid cash for that telly, didn't you?).

It's Customs & Excise you need to worry about - they do have special powers
that make the police look gay, for a limited and specific set of suspected
infringments.

"Tim S" wrote in message
...
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't need
a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing. Still
get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

[address redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools, which
there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


Won't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

You're right it won't do any good. I think the only thing that briefly stops
them sending their ****ty letters out is having one of their plebs visit and
confirm there's no tv but they'll start sending the letters again a few
months later in case you've bought one since. I haven't had a tv license for
about five or six years now. I didn't renew it immediately one year as the
tv had broken and I bought a new one a few months later after I got the tv
fixed. Then the swines sent me a letter saying they'd backdated the new
license to when the old one ran out hence losing me the cost of the months I
hadn't needed one for. I said to myself that's the last time the pricks get
any of my money and it has been. They send a standard ****ty letter about
once every six weeks and a recorded delivery one so they can get a signature
from the occupant about once a year but so far none of their plebs have come
round. I'm hoping one will eventually so I can tell him he's a private
individual with no rights of access who's trespassing now so **** off
because there's something on the telly I want to watch.

The ONLY way you can get done for not having a license is let one of them
inside to get the evidence which you have absolutely no need to do unless
they have a warrant which they never will. It costs them too much. Basically
it's a voluntary tax which I've decided I can manage quite happily without
paying.
--
Dave Baker

PS - if it went to court the thing on the telly I wanted to watch was either
1) My goldfish, cos that's where his bowl is, because he's been looking a
bit off colour recently.
or
2) A pre-recorded tape or dvd which you don't need a license for anyway.

"Tim S" wrote in message
...
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't need
a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing. Still
get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

[address redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools, which
there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


Won't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

I'm normally such a reasonable person (ha!)

Cheers

Tim

PS

Am I going to prision now?

If you've only sent the one letter probably not, but there is a risk if you
were to send another letter along the same lines.

Seriously.

I read somewhere that someone who wrote a couple of sarky letters of
complaint to a company got investigated by NECTU, the police unit set up to
investigate groups such as animal rights extremists and the like who
undertake campaigns of harassment against shareholders and employees. I
don't have evidence to hand for this, but I think I read about it in Private
Eye.

In message , Tim S
writes
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't need a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.


http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


I got exactly the same and strangely enough, my reply to them was
exactly the same as yours, with the exception of the all the words
preceding "**** off"

They are quite welcome to attempt to gain entrance to my factory at
their own expense

At the end of the day, its just scare tactics and you should complain to
your MP about their immoral bullying tactics


--
geoff

OG coughed up some electrons that declared:


I read somewhere that someone who wrote a couple of sarky letters of
complaint to a company got investigated by NECTU, the police unit set up
to investigate groups such as animal rights extremists and the like who
undertake campaigns of harassment against shareholders and employees. I
don't have evidence to hand for this, but I think I read about it in
Private Eye.

/Me tears up letter proclaiming a holy jihad upon Crapita, with bombs and
virgins and everything

Tim S wrote:

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing. Still
get reminders each month.

You have my sympathies, I experienced this twice in recent times... no
amount of telling the buggers seems to serve any purpose. In the end I
found that dropping them straight into the bin was the most effective
and least irritating way of dealing with them.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

Usual fare, the presumption of guilt, and lots of non specific threats...

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg

LoL!


I thought my last attempt before giving up in disgust was reasonably
sarky, but I like your's better!

got a copy somewhere... oh yes:

"Sent via email 30/11/06 – reference number : EM0002445143

Dear Sir,

my mothers property at [redacted]

As you seem keen to point out on a frequent basis, the above mentioned
property is unlicensed. By way of clarification I would like to point
out that this is not an oversight, and it is by intention.

The reason for this is that (as I explained before in my letter of 2nd
March 2006) due to my mothers poor health, the property is currently
unoccupied. It is now highly probable the property will remain
unoccupied until it is sold.

I would appreciate it if you could therefore desist in sending further
letters.

I would also like to take this opportunity to register my complaint as
to the tone and style of the letters that you have sent. In particular
the language seems designed to intimidate and harass, and would be
perceived by many as threatening.


Yours faithfully,"

etc.

Got a stock reply "we have updated our records and should not contact
you again for 3 months, however after that bla, bla". 1 week later, more
snottygrammes.

Had the same happen when I moved out of the last place (I was planning
some refurb prior to selling it) - transferred the license here (via
their web site that delightfully requests that you tell them within 14
days of moving into your new address, and has validation on the data
entry form that prevents entering any moving date that is not at least
three weeks into the future!

I then just binned all the letters.



--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

Tim S wrote:

Last email threatened them with a cron job auto-emailing a support ticket in
to them every 5 minutes until it's done, if they don't sort it out
tomorrow. I will too...

Sounds rather silly. It's not as if they can't block it leaving you
"shouting at an empty room", and you do actually need to work with these
people. Unlike the TV Licensing ******* - ineffective spleen-venting as
you say, but the last two lines were absolute classic :-)

Pete

Pete Verdon coughed up some electrons that declared:

Tim S wrote:

Last email threatened them with a cron job auto-emailing a support ticket
in to them every 5 minutes until it's done, if they don't sort it out
tomorrow. I will too...

Sounds rather silly. It's not as if they can't block it leaving you
"shouting at an empty room", and you do actually need to work with these
people.

Yep - more of a jest, but their sysadmin might see a hint of humour in it

Tim S coughed up some electrons that declared:

Pete Verdon coughed up some electrons that declared:

Tim S wrote:

Last email threatened them with a cron job auto-emailing a support
ticket in to them every 5 minutes until it's done, if they don't sort it
out tomorrow. I will too...

Sounds rather silly. It's not as if they can't block it leaving you
"shouting at an empty room", and you do actually need to work with these
people.

Yep - more of a jest, but their sysadmin might see a hint of humour in it



BTW - it's their fault anyway for not having a "so long and thanks for all
the fish" button on the control panel. I can do everything else without
human contact.

ABTW - do you remember Alan Ralsky? - they totally mail-bombed him, with
great effect.

In message , John Rumm
writes
Tim S wrote:

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing. Still
get reminders each month.

You have my sympathies, I experienced this twice in recent times... no
amount of telling the buggers seems to serve any purpose. In the end I
found that dropping them straight into the bin was the most effective
and least irritating way of dealing with them.

But this one really p*ssed me off;
http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

Usual fare, the presumption of guilt, and lots of non specific threats...

So I sent them this:
(very very unsuitable for work and kids)
http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg

LoL!


I thought my last attempt before giving up in disgust was reasonably
sarky, but I like your's better!

I think its just wasted on them

My next reply will be

"you are correct, the above address has no TV licence

Come on if you think you're 'ard enough"

Several years ago I explained that it was an engineering works, there
was no TV, stop wasting my licence payers money and got a letter of
apology

So now I give them no information, just wind them up to the best of my
abilities

make them play your game, don't play theirs


--
geoff

Dave Baker wrote:

They send a standard ****ty letter about
once every six weeks and a recorded delivery one so they can get a signature
from the occupant about once a year

They would find me in the pub at delivery time, having a pint of real
ale :-)

but so far none of their plebs have come
round. I'm hoping one will eventually so I can tell him he's a private
individual with no rights of access who's trespassing now so **** off
because there's something on the telly I want to watch.

I love that line and if the wife goes before me, the television will be
for DVD's and the vast number of videos that we have built up, only.

Dave

geoff wrote:

I thought my last attempt before giving up in disgust was reasonably
sarky, but I like your's better!

I think its just wasted on them

My next reply will be

"you are correct, the above address has no TV licence

Come on if you think you're 'ard enough"

Several years ago I explained that it was an engineering works, there
was no TV, stop wasting my licence payers money and got a letter of apology

So now I give them no information, just wind them up to the best of my
abilities

make them play your game, don't play theirs

It might be fun to send them a letter pointing out that inert criminal
activity of your choice is illegal and they could get fined if
caught... Mention you might be turning up to inspect their premiss etc.

--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:18:53 +0000, Tim S wrote:

... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't need a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing. Still
get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

Oh - that's one I haven't got from them. There must be numerous
concoctions of threats issuing from that firm.

My pride and joy must be a _pink_ bit of paper entitled 'Summary of
communications sent to this address', telling me that I have been
warned... , that I have been encouraged... , that I have been made
aware... , that I have been advised... and that I have also
received...

I was told months ago that if I didn't buy a licence immediately,
legal action would be taken - I'm still awaiting a summons to the
local magistrates' court.
I'm looking forward to it, in fact :-)

Why don't they actually do what they occasionally threaten and bring
round their powerful detection apparatus? Actually they've visited a
couple of times, both when I've been out (I wonder if they wait around
the corner until their culprit drives away...)


I don't see why I should have to write to them, paying for a postage
stamp, or phoning them on an 0844 number, when I have no connection
with them.

--
Frank Erskine
Sunderland

On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 13:59:29 -0800 (PST), "
wrote:

Whilst it's tempting, the most effective tactic is to chuck their
letters straight in the bin.

In case anyone doesn't know, TV Licensing is a private company with no
special legal powers of any sort.

Actually they do have delegated legal powers, but it all has to be be
done by specific legislation (exactly as it does in the case of a
government body), but people tend to jump to attention if a government
body's person knocks on the door...

--
Frank Erskine

On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:39:13 +0000, geoff wrote:

In message , Tim S
writes
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't need a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.


At the end of the day, its just scare tactics and you should complain to
your MP about their immoral bullying tactics

It's a total waste of time complaining to my MP unless it's a matter
of foreign 'rights'...

--
Frank Erskine
Sunderland

Tim S wrote:

... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't need a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing. Still
get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

[address redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools, which
there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


Won't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

I'm normally such a reasonable person (ha!)

Cheers

Tim

PS

Am I going to prision now?

Warms the cockles of me heart to know there's still real people out
there.
Nice one!

"Tim S" wrote in message
...
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't need
a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing. Still
get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

[address redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools, which
there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


Won't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

I'm normally such a reasonable person (ha!)

Cheers

Tim

PS

Am I going to prision now?

http://www.bbctvlicence.com/index.htm


will show every letter you will receive.

I saved 12 months worth of letters from the TVLA and wrote on them using a
big marker pen "UNWANTED JUNK MAIL RETURN TO SENDER" I then posted all 12
into a postbox. Every letter was sent back unopened and I wrote sarcasic
comments against the "Notice of impending action", "Action Required
Immediately"
I also included in this postbox frenzy a reply form from a TVLA investigator
that actually had the cheek to call at my house when I was at work. This was
my first step to free contact with the TVLA *******s as they gave me a
prepaid envelope. I drew a knob on it and told them to suck it.

I did receive a letter asking me not to return the unopened letters and I
now have been removed from their mail list. As they (TVLA) do not know my
name they claim that they can still send someone round. I did write back and
ask them to "bring it on" but no one has called back.

The Legal Occupier AKA Adam

ARWadsworth coughed up some electrons that declared:


"Tim S" wrote in message
...
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't need
a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing. Still
get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

[address redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools, which
there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


Won't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

I'm normally such a reasonable person (ha!)

Cheers

Tim

PS

Am I going to prision now?

http://www.bbctvlicence.com/index.htm


will show every letter you will receive.

Most of those look vaguely familiar...

I saved 12 months worth of letters from the TVLA and wrote on them using a
big marker pen "UNWANTED JUNK MAIL RETURN TO SENDER" I then posted all 12
into a postbox. Every letter was sent back unopened and I wrote sarcasic
comments against the "Notice of impending action", "Action Required
Immediately"
I also included in this postbox frenzy a reply form from a TVLA
investigator that actually had the cheek to call at my house when I was at
work. This was my first step to free contact with the TVLA *******s as
they gave me a prepaid envelope. I drew a knob on it and told them to suck
it.

Nice move

I did receive a letter asking me not to return the unopened letters and I
now have been removed from their mail list. As they (TVLA) do not know my
name they claim that they can still send someone round. I did write back
and ask them to "bring it on" but no one has called back.

The Legal Occupier AKA Adam

"Tim S" wrote in message
...
ARWadsworth coughed up some electrons that declared:


"Tim S" wrote in message
...
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't
need
a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing.
Still
get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

[address redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools, which
there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


Won't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

I'm normally such a reasonable person (ha!)

Cheers

Tim

PS

Am I going to prision now?

http://www.bbctvlicence.com/index.htm


will show every letter you will receive.

Most of those look vaguely familiar...

I saved 12 months worth of letters from the TVLA and wrote on them using
a
big marker pen "UNWANTED JUNK MAIL RETURN TO SENDER" I then posted all 12
into a postbox. Every letter was sent back unopened and I wrote sarcasic
comments against the "Notice of impending action", "Action Required
Immediately"
I also included in this postbox frenzy a reply form from a TVLA
investigator that actually had the cheek to call at my house when I was
at
work. This was my first step to free contact with the TVLA *******s as
they gave me a prepaid envelope. I drew a knob on it and told them to
suck
it.

Nice move

I did receive a letter asking me not to return the unopened letters and I
now have been removed from their mail list. As they (TVLA) do not know my
name they claim that they can still send someone round. I did write back
and ask them to "bring it on" but no one has called back.

The Legal Occupier AKA Adam

Yes, they've sent me a few, also.

I virtually copied their letter and replied with -

ACTION REQUIRED IMMEDIATELY



IMPORTANT: Please respond to this letter by January 2009 to avoid your
details being passed on to the BBC, any form(s) of Watchdog or anyone else I
can think of who might be interested.



Your database lists these addresses as unlicensed. It is important you
realise that both premises are currently vacant. It is also important you
realise that I have already attended to the TV licensing for BOTH properties
around 6 weeks ago. Perhaps you might check your records before 'banging-off'
standard nasty letters?



We still own the properties and they are both empty.



I repeat



WE STILL OWN THE PROPERTIES AND THEY ARE BOTH EMPTY.





It is even more important that you realise that the tone of your
communication is extremely rude, condescending and downright unacceptable.
Please feel free to send your 'Enforcement Division' to the properties,
maybe you might find us sitting in the dark, on orange boxes watching
illegal TV.



The tone of your letters might cause one of two effects, either -



A fraudulent, non-paying viewer will be frightened for their life (don't
make me laugh)



or



A fully-paid-up legitimate viewer (such as myself) will become EXTREMELY
annoyed.



It would appear that your organization couldn't organise a ****-up in a
brewery.

"Brass Monkey" wrote in message
...

"Tim S" wrote in message
...
ARWadsworth coughed up some electrons that declared:


"Tim S" wrote in message
...
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't
need
a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing.
Still
get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

[address redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools, which
there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


Won't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

I'm normally such a reasonable person (ha!)

Cheers

Tim

PS

Am I going to prision now?

http://www.bbctvlicence.com/index.htm


will show every letter you will receive.

Most of those look vaguely familiar...

I saved 12 months worth of letters from the TVLA and wrote on them using
a
big marker pen "UNWANTED JUNK MAIL RETURN TO SENDER" I then posted all
12
into a postbox. Every letter was sent back unopened and I wrote sarcasic
comments against the "Notice of impending action", "Action Required
Immediately"
I also included in this postbox frenzy a reply form from a TVLA
investigator that actually had the cheek to call at my house when I was
at
work. This was my first step to free contact with the TVLA *******s as
they gave me a prepaid envelope. I drew a knob on it and told them to
suck
it.

Nice move

I did receive a letter asking me not to return the unopened letters and
I
now have been removed from their mail list. As they (TVLA) do not know
my
name they claim that they can still send someone round. I did write back
and ask them to "bring it on" but no one has called back.

The Legal Occupier AKA Adam

Yes, they've sent me a few, also.

I virtually copied their letter and replied with -

ACTION REQUIRED IMMEDIATELY



IMPORTANT: Please respond to this letter by January 2009 to avoid your
details being passed on to the BBC, any form(s) of Watchdog or anyone else
I can think of who might be interested.



Your database lists these addresses as unlicensed. It is important you
realise that both premises are currently vacant. It is also important you
realise that I have already attended to the TV licensing for BOTH
properties around 6 weeks ago. Perhaps you might check your records before
'banging-off' standard nasty letters?



We still own the properties and they are both empty.



I repeat



WE STILL OWN THE PROPERTIES AND THEY ARE BOTH EMPTY.





It is even more important that you realise that the tone of your
communication is extremely rude, condescending and downright unacceptable.
Please feel free to send your 'Enforcement Division' to the properties,
maybe you might find us sitting in the dark, on orange boxes watching
illegal TV.



The tone of your letters might cause one of two effects, either -



A fraudulent, non-paying viewer will be frightened for their life (don't
make me laugh)



or



A fully-paid-up legitimate viewer (such as myself) will become EXTREMELY
annoyed.



It would appear that your organization couldn't organise a ****-up in a
brewery.


I should add, i've yet to receive a reply.

Tim S wrote:
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't need a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing. Still
get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

http://www.dionic.net/tv/OfficialWarning.jpeg

[address redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools, which
there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

http://www.dionic.net/tv/Reply.jpeg


Won't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

I'm normally such a reasonable person (ha!)

Cheers

Tim

PS

Am I going to prision now?

Hah. They did the same to me when I bought a TV for my mum.

the bloody shop sent *my* address to the TV people. As it happened, I
was in rented accom. pending the reconstruction of the house, so it was
highly amusing.

I figured the next tenant would get the men with detector vans.

"Tim S" wrote in message
...
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't
need
a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

i guess they dropped the bit on the old licences that if you watched on a
portable tv running on internal batteries then no licence was required?

they now mention computers and mobile phones, so it's no longer a licence to
watch something that actually recieves the signals i guess??

i my self never watch any bbc channels, utter ****e on them, i dont listen
to any radio at all, but i have to have a licence to watch the proggies on
sattelite i do watch (mostly the discovery type chanels) which i pay for in
my sky subscription, and are paid for them selves by adverts and ****ty
sponserships of the proggies etc.

Tim S wrote:
Bob Eager coughed up some electrons that declared:

Give them a deadline, and say that after that you're going to Nominet.
That tends to do it..


Yes - an excellent tactic. Before or after I mail-bomb them?

Just go to nominet.

The only downside is that they may still keep records active seen if the
domain is delegated elsewhere.

Tim S wrote:
OG coughed up some electrons that declared:


I read somewhere that someone who wrote a couple of sarky letters of
complaint to a company got investigated by NECTU, the police unit set up
to investigate groups such as animal rights extremists and the like who
undertake campaigns of harassment against shareholders and employees. I
don't have evidence to hand for this, but I think I read about it in
Private Eye.

/Me tears up letter proclaiming a holy jihad upon Crapita, with bombs and
virgins and everything


Oh don't do that. The fuzz these days are selected for total zero sense
of humour and political correctness.

If you send a letter like that you WILL get done for wasting police time.

Its like the last time I got done for speeding. I saifd precisely
nothing, until one bloke asked me waht I was thinking.

"I was thinking what a waste of time it si when you would be catching
terrorists"

"well, if we weren't here taking your details we would be"

My mouth fell open at that point, and I went back to a stony silence..

gazz wrote:

"Tim S" wrote in message
...
... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you
don't need
a
licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

i guess they dropped the bit on the old licences that if you watched on
a portable tv running on internal batteries then no licence was required?

they now mention computers and mobile phones, so it's no longer a
licence to watch something that actually recieves the signals i guess??

i my self never watch any bbc channels, utter ****e on them, i dont
listen to any radio at all, but i have to have a licence to watch the
proggies on sattelite i do watch (mostly the discovery type chanels)
which i pay for in my sky subscription, and are paid for them selves by
adverts and ****ty sponserships of the proggies etc.

Ah, but you MIGHT just watch a video clip online..

I have to say that they should just get a government grant and put the
thing on general taxes.

The days when only a minority had a radio or a TV are long gone.

Do you mean that pay TV still has adverts?

On Tue, 13 Jan 2009 23:46:08 +0000, Frank Erskine wrote:

-------------------8
Why don't they actually do what they occasionally threaten and bring
round their powerful detection apparatus?

Because the effectiveness of said apparatus has more to do with it being
seen than what it detects?

On Wed, 14 Jan 2009 01:09:03 GMT, ARWadsworth wrote:

-------------------8
http://www.bbctvlicence.com/index.htm


will show every letter you will receive.

I notice that these letters seem to suggest that you need a TV licence if
you use a computer at home...

In article , Bob Eager
wrote:

Give them a deadline, and say that after that you're going to Nominet.
That tends to do it..

Oh for that to be a universal truth...

Vispa Internet are holding two of my domains to ransom. Nominet (rightly)
want paying for them to intervene, so being the stubborn git I am, the
domains are stuck until expiry.

--
AJL Electronics (G6FGO) Ltd : Satellite and TV aerial systems
http://www.classicmicrocars.co.uk : http://www.ajlelectronics.co.uk

On 13 Jan 2009 21:55:59 GMT, Bob Eager wrote:

You forgot to say that you won't be calling their revenue sharing 0844
number, and was the purpose of the letter to gather that revenue...

I was terribly amuseed to receive a letter from the AA asking me to give
them a call on an 0870 number becauase they really wanted me to renew my
car insurance with them and they didn't have my number on file so couldn't
call me. And they were asking for 50% more on my car insurance than last
year even though I now have a year no-claims discount.