UK diy (uk.d-i-y) For the discussion of all topics related to diy (do-it-yourself) in the UK. All levels of experience and proficency are welcome to join in to ask questions or offer solutions.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 8,319
Default Britians worst DIY'er

Any one see this tonight? What a load of rubbish.

Three inept DIY'ers were given a series of tasks to complete, one of which
was removing a sink.

One hapless victim sawed into a copper pipe to find the stopcock wasn't
turned off, water gushed everywhere. The heroic & manly presenter removed
his jacket & stepped in to save the day.

He finished cutting the pipe remarkably quickly and said to the victim "in
my jacket pocket you will find two white plastic caps".

These turned out to be push fit stop ends, one of which he rammed onto the
heavily painted copper pipe - and whacked down with a hammer! The leak
miraculously stopped.

I wonder how many takes they did?


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk




  #2   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 3,861
Default Britians worst DIY'er

In message , The Medway
Handyman writes
Any one see this tonight? What a load of rubbish.


You knew it was going to be a Drivel TV when you watched it, didn't you
- what were you expecting ?


Three inept DIY'ers were given a series of tasks to complete, one of which
was removing a sink.

One hapless victim sawed into a copper pipe to find the stopcock wasn't
turned off, water gushed everywhere. The heroic & manly presenter removed
his jacket & stepped in to save the day.

He finished cutting the pipe remarkably quickly and said to the victim "in
my jacket pocket you will find two white plastic caps".

These turned out to be push fit stop ends, one of which he rammed onto the
heavily painted copper pipe - and whacked down with a hammer! The leak
miraculously stopped.

I wonder how many takes they did?



--
geoff
  #3   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,835
Default Britians worst DIY'er


"geoff" wrote in message
...
In message , The Medway
Handyman writes
Any one see this tonight? What a load of rubbish.


You knew it was going to be a Drivel TV when you watched it, didn't you -
what were you expecting ?


Three inept DIY'ers were given a series of tasks to complete, one of which
was removing a sink.

One hapless victim sawed into a copper pipe to find the stopcock wasn't
turned off, water gushed everywhere. The heroic & manly presenter removed
his jacket & stepped in to save the day.

He finished cutting the pipe remarkably quickly and said to the victim "in
my jacket pocket you will find two white plastic caps".

These turned out to be push fit stop ends, one of which he rammed onto the
heavily painted copper pipe - and whacked down with a hammer! The leak
miraculously stopped.

I wonder how many takes they did?



--
geoff


At least with Barry Bucknell people stood to learn some skills.


  #4   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,066
Default Britians worst DIY'er

"John" wrote in message
...

"geoff" wrote in message
...
In message , The Medway
Handyman writes
Any one see this tonight? What a load of rubbish.


You knew it was going to be a Drivel TV when you watched it, didn't you -
what were you expecting ?


Three inept DIY'ers were given a series of tasks to complete, one of
which
was removing a sink.

One hapless victim sawed into a copper pipe to find the stopcock wasn't
turned off, water gushed everywhere. The heroic & manly presenter
removed
his jacket & stepped in to save the day.

He finished cutting the pipe remarkably quickly and said to the victim
"in
my jacket pocket you will find two white plastic caps".

These turned out to be push fit stop ends, one of which he rammed onto
the
heavily painted copper pipe - and whacked down with a hammer! The leak
miraculously stopped.

I wonder how many takes they did?



--
geoff


At least with Barry Bucknell people stood to learn some skills.

Mmmm, like how to cover a nice panelled door with hardboard AFAICR. He had a
lot to answer for!


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not)


  #5   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 244
Default Britians worst DIY'er


"Bob Mannix" wrote in message
...
"John" wrote in message
...

"geoff" wrote in message
...
In message , The Medway
Handyman writes
Any one see this tonight? What a load of rubbish.

You knew it was going to be a Drivel TV when you watched it, didn't
you - what were you expecting ?


Three inept DIY'ers were given a series of tasks to complete, one of
which
was removing a sink.

One hapless victim sawed into a copper pipe to find the stopcock wasn't
turned off, water gushed everywhere. The heroic & manly presenter
removed
his jacket & stepped in to save the day.

He finished cutting the pipe remarkably quickly and said to the victim
"in
my jacket pocket you will find two white plastic caps".

These turned out to be push fit stop ends, one of which he rammed onto
the
heavily painted copper pipe - and whacked down with a hammer! The leak
miraculously stopped.

I wonder how many takes they did?



--
geoff


At least with Barry Bucknell people stood to learn some skills.

Mmmm, like how to cover a nice panelled door with hardboard AFAICR. He had
a lot to answer for!


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not)


My mates old fella always watched him and even done what he done ie
covered the bannister rails with hardboard,covered the 1950's tiled fire
surround with boxed wood and as you said...hardboard over the panelled
doors. :-(




  #6   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 8,319
Default Britians worst DIY'er

geoff wrote:
In message , The
Medway Handyman writes
Any one see this tonight? What a load of rubbish.


You knew it was going to be a Drivel TV when you watched it, didn't
you - what were you expecting ?


Right. I turned over after that & watched the Time Team thing about the WW1
Vampire dugout - good TV.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk


  #7   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 22
Default Britians worst DIY'er

George wrote:
"Bob Mannix" wrote in message
...
"John" wrote in message
...
"geoff" wrote in message
...
In message , The Medway
Handyman writes
Any one see this tonight? What a load of rubbish.
You knew it was going to be a Drivel TV when you watched it, didn't
you - what were you expecting ?

Three inept DIY'ers were given a series of tasks to complete, one of
which
was removing a sink.

One hapless victim sawed into a copper pipe to find the stopcock wasn't
turned off, water gushed everywhere. The heroic & manly presenter
removed
his jacket & stepped in to save the day.

He finished cutting the pipe remarkably quickly and said to the victim
"in
my jacket pocket you will find two white plastic caps".

These turned out to be push fit stop ends, one of which he rammed onto
the
heavily painted copper pipe - and whacked down with a hammer! The leak
miraculously stopped.

I wonder how many takes they did?


--
geoff
At least with Barry Bucknell people stood to learn some skills.

Mmmm, like how to cover a nice panelled door with hardboard AFAICR. He had
a lot to answer for!


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not)


My mates old fella always watched him and even done what he done ie
covered the bannister rails with hardboard,covered the 1950's tiled fire
surround with boxed wood and as you said...hardboard over the panelled
doors. :-(


I remember my parents undoing a lot of these changes in houses that they
bought when I was young. At least it can be undone (by removing the
hardboard). If it's removed and thrown away then it's gone.

dan
  #8   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
Rod Rod is offline
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,892
Default Britians worst DIY'er

Dan Smithers wrote:
George wrote:
"Bob Mannix" wrote in message
...
"John" wrote in message
...
"geoff" wrote in message
...
In message , The Medway
Handyman writes
Any one see this tonight? What a load of rubbish.
You knew it was going to be a Drivel TV when you watched it, didn't
you - what were you expecting ?

Three inept DIY'ers were given a series of tasks to complete, one of
which
was removing a sink.

One hapless victim sawed into a copper pipe to find the stopcock wasn't
turned off, water gushed everywhere. The heroic & manly presenter
removed
his jacket & stepped in to save the day.

He finished cutting the pipe remarkably quickly and said to the victim
"in
my jacket pocket you will find two white plastic caps".

These turned out to be push fit stop ends, one of which he rammed onto
the
heavily painted copper pipe - and whacked down with a hammer! The leak
miraculously stopped.

I wonder how many takes they did?


--
geoff
At least with Barry Bucknell people stood to learn some skills.
Mmmm, like how to cover a nice panelled door with hardboard AFAICR. He had
a lot to answer for!


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not)

My mates old fella always watched him and even done what he done ie
covered the bannister rails with hardboard,covered the 1950's tiled fire
surround with boxed wood and as you said...hardboard over the panelled
doors. :-(


I remember my parents undoing a lot of these changes in houses that they
bought when I was young. At least it can be undone (by removing the
hardboard). If it's removed and thrown away then it's gone.

dan


But not very easily if the ballusters, newels, etc. had turned knobs and
protuberances - which were all sawn off to allow the hardboard to be
fitted. :-(

(No - I have never done it. But I am well aware of several instances.)

--
Rod

Hypothyroidism is a seriously debilitating condition with an insidious
onset.
Although common it frequently goes undiagnosed.
www.thyromind.info www.thyroiduk.org www.altsupportthyroid.org
  #9   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 9,369
Default Britians worst DIY'er



"George" wrote in message
om...

"Bob Mannix" wrote in message
...
"John" wrote in message
...

"geoff" wrote in message
...
In message , The Medway
Handyman writes
Any one see this tonight? What a load of rubbish.

You knew it was going to be a Drivel TV when you watched it, didn't
you - what were you expecting ?


Three inept DIY'ers were given a series of tasks to complete, one of
which
was removing a sink.

One hapless victim sawed into a copper pipe to find the stopcock wasn't
turned off, water gushed everywhere. The heroic & manly presenter
removed
his jacket & stepped in to save the day.

He finished cutting the pipe remarkably quickly and said to the victim
"in
my jacket pocket you will find two white plastic caps".

These turned out to be push fit stop ends, one of which he rammed onto
the
heavily painted copper pipe - and whacked down with a hammer! The leak
miraculously stopped.

I wonder how many takes they did?



--
geoff

At least with Barry Bucknell people stood to learn some skills.

Mmmm, like how to cover a nice panelled door with hardboard AFAICR. He
had a lot to answer for!


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not)


My mates old fella always watched him and even done what he done ie
covered the bannister rails with hardboard,covered the 1950's tiled fire
surround with boxed wood and as you said...hardboard over the panelled
doors. :-(


Good, those things are horible, along with Aga, living flame gas fires,
picture rails, coving and most of the other cr@p stuff people used to have
in houses in the dark ages.

  #10   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 3,348
Default Britians worst DIY'er

On Tue, 11 Nov 2008 08:30:35 UTC, "George"
wrote:

My mates old fella always watched him and even done what he done ie
covered the bannister rails with hardboard,covered the 1950's tiled fire
surround with boxed wood and as you said...hardboard over the panelled
doors. :-(


Yup, my dad did all of those too!

--
The information contained in this post is copyright the
poster, and specifically may not be published in, or used by
http://www.diybanter.com


  #11   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 176
Default Britians worst DIY'er

On 11 Nov, 10:15, "dennis@home" wrote:
"George" wrote in message

Good, those things are horible, along with Aga, living flame gas fires,
picture rails, coving and most of the other cr@p stuff people used to have
in houses in the dark ages.


Err - what's wrong with picture rails? They allow you to move the
pictures around as frequently (or even more frequently) than the
significant other member of the household wants the furniture
rearranged. We also have a 'summer' and 'winter' set of pictures.
(Love allows one to put up with many things, even me)

To my mind it beats putting holes in the wall, which need making good
whenever we have a rearrangement.

As for 'living-flame', I think it slightly beats sitting round the
storage heater. I can't abide 'coal-effect' electric fires myself, but
'de gustibus non es disputandum' as they say.

Other pet hates are colourless transparent plastic tap tops, 'room
scenters' (especially the plug-in variety that give a squirt of
'perfume' every so often), any soft furnishing or upholstery with
ruffles, Crown Derby (how anyone can give it houseroom, I have no
idea). Swarovski crystal collections...

Sorry, I'll go and lie down.

Good workmanship using high quality materials with practical design
gets my vote. Gimcrack gew-gaws don't.

All the best,

Sid
  #12   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
Rod Rod is offline
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,892
Default Britians worst DIY'er

wrote:
On 11 Nov, 10:15, "dennis@home" wrote:
"George" wrote in message

Good, those things are horible, along with Aga, living flame gas fires,
picture rails, coving and most of the other cr@p stuff people used to have
in houses in the dark ages.


Err - what's wrong with picture rails? They allow you to move the
pictures around as frequently (or even more frequently) than the
significant other member of the household wants the furniture
rearranged. We also have a 'summer' and 'winter' set of pictures.
(Love allows one to put up with many things, even me)

To my mind it beats putting holes in the wall, which need making good
whenever we have a rearrangement.

As for 'living-flame', I think it slightly beats sitting round the
storage heater. I can't abide 'coal-effect' electric fires myself, but
'de gustibus non es disputandum' as they say.

Other pet hates are colourless transparent plastic tap tops, 'room
scenters' (especially the plug-in variety that give a squirt of
'perfume' every so often), any soft furnishing or upholstery with
ruffles, Crown Derby (how anyone can give it houseroom, I have no
idea). Swarovski crystal collections...

Sorry, I'll go and lie down.

Good workmanship using high quality materials with practical design
gets my vote. Gimcrack gew-gaws don't.

All the best,

Sid


The best thing about picture rails is the ease of hanging a picture
using two chains/strands/something-or-others. So they are much more
resilient to getting knocked off straight. (If you get them right in the
first place. :-) )

(No - we don't have picture rails. :-( )
--
Rod

Hypothyroidism is a seriously debilitating condition with an insidious
onset.
Although common it frequently goes undiagnosed.
www.thyromind.info www.thyroiduk.org www.altsupportthyroid.org
  #13   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 176
Default Britians worst DIY'er

On 11 Nov, 13:26, Rod wrote:

The best thing about picture rails is the ease of hanging a picture
using two chains/strands/something-or-others. So they are much more
resilient to getting knocked off straight. (If you get them right in the
first place. :-) *)


Well, I may, possibly, be biased in their favour. ;-)

When I was considerably younger than I am now, and had more hair to
boot, I shared a house. I had the smallest bedroom, which was just
large enough to have a single bed, leaving enough space to walk
alongside the bed and round the foot of the bed, between the bed and
the window. No room for a wardrobe. I hung all my clothes from the
picture rail, keeping anything that couldn't be hung up in the under-
bed drawers. I lived like that for several years, until one of the
other sharers moved out, so I took over the freed up bedroom, which
had (what seemed like) acres of fitted cupboards.

When I last moved, between two of us, we had 30 cubic metres of
'stuff'. It's amazing how it piles up!

Regards,

Sid
  #14   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 4,092
Default Britians worst DIY'er

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "The Medway Handyman"
saying something like:

Right. I turned over after that & watched the Time Team thing about the WW1
Vampire dugout - good TV.


The steels and timbers were in amazing condition, considering.
  #15   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 700
Default Britians worst DIY'er

Grimly Curmudgeon wrote:
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "The Medway Handyman"
saying something like:

Right. I turned over after that & watched the Time Team thing about the WW1
Vampire dugout - good TV.


The steels and timbers were in amazing condition, considering.


No oxygen down there. Full of water, and no flow; what there was would
soon run out.

Andy


  #16   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,735
Default Britians worst DIY'er

Grimly Curmudgeon wrote:
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "The Medway Handyman"
saying something like:

Right. I turned over after that & watched the Time Team thing about the WW1
Vampire dugout - good TV.


The steels and timbers were in amazing condition, considering.


It would be nice if they could get back and do some more digging at that
site.

Dave
  #17   Report Post  
Posted to uk.d-i-y
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 4,092
Default Britians worst DIY'er

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember Dave
saying something like:

The steels and timbers were in amazing condition, considering.


It would be nice if they could get back and do some more digging at that
site.


I think it's rather a pity they didn't open up one that had actually
been in use for a while.
Oh, remember the mines at Messines Ridge? Apparently one never went off
in 1916 but it wasn't noticed at the time - it blew up in 1954,
startling a farmer a bit. Who knows if there's any more...
Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules

Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The WORST builder I can think of but [email protected] Home Ownership 10 July 17th 08 03:52 AM
Your worst project? Ignoramus689 Metalworking 57 December 3rd 07 11:29 AM
Just when you think we are the worst... [email protected] Woodworking 58 November 21st 07 12:42 AM
MAY THE WORST MAN WIN ! fred Woodworking 15 October 19th 06 01:29 AM
Worst Tools [email protected] UK diy 34 April 22nd 05 01:27 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:35 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 DIYbanter.
The comments are property of their posters.
 

About Us

"It's about DIY & home improvement"