It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.

On 01/22/2016 02:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


Its raining here. Hopefully my favorite fishing hole won't dry
up again this year.

Had some garlic sprout in my garden I planted two years ago
and missed harvesting last year. Rats! The stuff is YUMMY
too.

It never rains in Southern Nevada.

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:02:51 -0800, T wrote:

On 01/22/2016 02:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


Its raining here. Hopefully my favorite fishing hole won't dry
up again this year.

Had some garlic sprout in my garden I planted two years ago
and missed harvesting last year. Rats! The stuff is YUMMY
too.

It never rains in Southern Nevada.

Sure it rains here. Ten minutes after you wash the car. Just enough
to make it dirty again.

On 1/22/2016 5:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


I just wish it was not the first big snow. People would not appear as
panicky. Only concern I have is lose of power as my generator cannot
handle the whole house. Most important thing is that I have enough beer.

I posted elsewhere that media might blame Cruz for government shutdown.

On 01/22/2016 03:14 PM, Oren wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:02:51 -0800, T wrote:

On 01/22/2016 02:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


Its raining here. Hopefully my favorite fishing hole won't dry
up again this year.

Had some garlic sprout in my garden I planted two years ago
and missed harvesting last year. Rats! The stuff is YUMMY
too.

It never rains in Southern Nevada.

Sure it rains here. Ten minutes after you wash the car. Just enough
to make it dirty again.


Wait, you are from Nevada and you actually wash you car?
Something is wrong with this picture?

On 01/22/2016 03:25 PM, Frank wrote:
On 1/22/2016 5:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


I just wish it was not the first big snow. People would not appear as
panicky. Only concern I have is lose of power as my generator cannot
handle the whole house. Most important thing is that I have enough beer.

I posted elsewhere that media might blame Cruz for government shutdown.

If it does, our wallets are safe from the Dems and the RINOs
till the snow melts

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:50:13 -0800, T wrote:

On 01/22/2016 03:14 PM, Oren wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:02:51 -0800, T wrote:

On 01/22/2016 02:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


Its raining here. Hopefully my favorite fishing hole won't dry
up again this year.

Had some garlic sprout in my garden I planted two years ago
and missed harvesting last year. Rats! The stuff is YUMMY
too.

It never rains in Southern Nevada.

Sure it rains here. Ten minutes after you wash the car. Just enough
to make it dirty again.


Wait, you are from Nevada and you actually wash you car?
Something is wrong with this picture?

No. The wife gets it washed. Then she makes me a sammich.

On 01/22/2016 03:56 PM, Oren wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:50:13 -0800, T wrote:

On 01/22/2016 03:14 PM, Oren wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:02:51 -0800, T wrote:

On 01/22/2016 02:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


Its raining here. Hopefully my favorite fishing hole won't dry
up again this year.

Had some garlic sprout in my garden I planted two years ago
and missed harvesting last year. Rats! The stuff is YUMMY
too.

It never rains in Southern Nevada.

Sure it rains here. Ten minutes after you wash the car. Just enough
to make it dirty again.


Wait, you are from Nevada and you actually wash you car?
Something is wrong with this picture?

No. The wife gets it washed. Then she makes me a sammich.


Okay then. All is right with the world. She mow the lawn too?

On 01/22/2016 02:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


My wife just heard a story about thems complaining about
having to drive 35 miles an hour. My wife said "we
call that Wednesday".

:-)

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 18:25:40 -0500, Frank "frank wrote:

I just wish it was not the first big snow. People would not appear as
panicky. Only concern I have is lose of power as my generator cannot
handle the whole house. Most important thing is that I have enough beer.


I'm guessing the store shelves are being emptied. Same happens in
hurricanes and other major storms, Stay warm.

I posted elsewhere that media might blame Cruz for government shutdown.

.... of course

On 01/22/2016 04:32 PM, Oren wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 18:25:40 -0500, Frank "frank wrote:

I just wish it was not the first big snow. People would not appear as
panicky. Only concern I have is lose of power as my generator cannot
handle the whole house. Most important thing is that I have enough beer.


I'm guessing the store shelves are being emptied. Same happens in
hurricanes and other major storms, Stay warm.

I posted elsewhere that media might blame Cruz for government shutdown.

... of course



I though it was Bush W.'s (RINO-TX) fault?

Yeah we're ready up here. More snow within 50 miles of
NYC than in Anchorage Alaska the past two winters
('13-14 and '14-15).

Per Frank:
Most important thing is that I have enough beer.

+1... and my neighbor just gave me a case for watching his cats while
they were away....


And... for those of us who don't want to walk to the window, my
granddaughter just gave me this: http:\\IsItRaining.in/Paoli-PA

--
Pete Cresswell

On 01/22/2016 05:26 PM, (PeteCresswell) wrote:
Per Frank:
Most important thing is that I have enough beer.

And if the power goes out, you can stick them in the snow
to keep them cold.


+1... and my neighbor just gave me a case for watching his cats while
they were away....

"his" and "cats". Hmmmm.


And... for those of us who don't want to walk to the window, my
granddaughter just gave me this: http:\\IsItRaining.in/Paoli-PA


€œIgnorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats
make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the
sickening grammar that they use.€�
ۥ Mark Twain

Oren wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 18:25:40 -0500, Frank "frank wrote:

I just wish it was not the first big snow. People would not appear
as panicky. Only concern I have is lose of power as my generator
cannot handle the whole house. Most important thing is that I have
enough beer.


I'm guessing the store shelves are being emptied. Same happens in
hurricanes and other major storms, Stay warm.

I posted elsewhere that media might blame Cruz for government
shutdown.

... of course

My DIL was telling the wife today that the Kroger they shop at had on
their sign "no bread , no milk , no TP" . Memphis got almost half an inch of
snow ...
I fired up the Rusty Tractor today and scraped some of the ice from my
driveway and a part of our road that doesn't get alot of sun . Haven't been
to town for several days except to drop off and pick up the wife from work .
I think she wants to do a little grocery shopping after work tomorrow , but
we already have plenty of TP , milk , and I make our bread .
--
Snag

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 19:36:44 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:

My DIL was telling the wife today that the Kroger they shop at had on
their sign "no bread , no milk , no TP" . Memphis got almost half an inch of
snow ...
I fired up the Rusty Tractor today and scraped some of the ice from my
driveway and a part of our road that doesn't get alot of sun . Haven't been
to town for several days except to drop off and pick up the wife from work .
I think she wants to do a little grocery shopping after work tomorrow , but
we already have plenty of TP , milk , and I make our bread .

That must be tragic. I bet BBQ ribs are hard to get near Memphis.

Catfish in the river must really be cold, too

On 01/22/2016 04:02 PM, T wrote:
It never rains in Southern Nevada.

You can tell that by looking at Lake Merde...

On 01/22/2016 05:32 PM, Oren wrote:
I'm guessing the store shelves are being emptied. Same happens in
hurricanes and other major storms, Stay warm.

Can't do a real hurricane without plenty of beer, chips, and dip.

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 16:06:10 -0800, T wrote:

On 01/22/2016 02:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


My wife just heard a story about thems complaining about
having to drive 35 miles an hour. My wife said "we
call that Wednesday".

:-)
Traffic is light on Wednesday, is it??

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 16:58:42 -0600, Oren wrote:

It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.

The guys at the Tomb of the Unknowns keep doing their
thing. From ABC News: http://preview.alturl.com/k35sx



--
Using Opera's mail client: http://www.opera.com/mail/

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:51:16 -0800, T wrote:

On 01/22/2016 03:25 PM, Frank wrote:
On 1/22/2016 5:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


I just wish it was not the first big snow. People would not appear as
panicky. Only concern I have is lose of power as my generator cannot
handle the whole house. Most important thing is that I have enough beer.

I posted elsewhere that media might blame Cruz for government shutdown.

If it does, our wallets are safe from the Dems and the RINOs
till the snow melts

I keep hoping that Washington DC falls into the ocean !!!

It would be so nice to read this newsgroup without any political
postings.


Yep, make sure you got enough beer. It takes a lot of beer for fuel to
shovel thru 28 feet of snow!

On 1/22/2016 7:01 PM, T wrote:
On 01/22/2016 03:56 PM, Oren wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:50:13 -0800, T wrote:

On 01/22/2016 03:14 PM, Oren wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:02:51 -0800, T wrote:

On 01/22/2016 02:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


Its raining here. Hopefully my favorite fishing hole won't dry
up again this year.

Had some garlic sprout in my garden I planted two years ago
and missed harvesting last year. Rats! The stuff is YUMMY
too.

It never rains in Southern Nevada.

Sure it rains here. Ten minutes after you wash the car. Just enough
to make it dirty again.


Wait, you are from Nevada and you actually wash you car?
Something is wrong with this picture?

No. The wife gets it washed. Then she makes me a sammich.


Okay then. All is right with the world. She mow the lawn too?

Lawns in Nevada? Surely you jest.

Oren wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 19:36:44 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:

My DIL was telling the wife today that the Kroger they shop at had on
their sign "no bread , no milk , no TP" . Memphis got almost half an
inch of snow ...
I fired up the Rusty Tractor today and scraped some of the ice from
my driveway and a part of our road that doesn't get alot of sun .
Haven't been to town for several days except to drop off and pick up
the wife from work . I think she wants to do a little grocery
shopping after work tomorrow , but we already have plenty of TP ,
milk , and I make our bread .

That must be tragic. I bet BBQ ribs are hard to get near Memphis.

Catfish in the river must really be cold, too

Ribs hard to get in Memphis ? Shirley you jest ! Actually , I've been
debating whether the turkey or the pork butt will be next on my smoker ...
Or maybe I misinterpreted and you mean that the stores are sold out of
ribs ... probably not , the most common ethnic group there doesn't do cold
well . Not a lot of grillin' going on in this weather . I think it'll be
the turkey , we had a big ham for Christmas/New years .
--
Snag

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 21:48:52 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:

My DIL was telling the wife today that the Kroger they shop at had on
their sign "no bread , no milk , no TP" . Memphis got almost half an
inch of snow ...

HALF AN INCH ???????

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA......

When we get a half inch of snow we sweep the porch with a broom and go
on with normal life!

Hell, when we got 14 inches of snow a few weeks ago, we had some delays,
and had to do some work, but everyone survived, and the stores had
nearly full shelves!

wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:51:16 -0800, T wrote:

On 01/22/2016 03:25 PM, Frank wrote:
On 1/22/2016 5:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


I just wish it was not the first big snow. People would not appear
as panicky. Only concern I have is lose of power as my generator
cannot handle the whole house. Most important thing is that I have
enough beer.

I posted elsewhere that media might blame Cruz for government
shutdown.

If it does, our wallets are safe from the Dems and the RINOs
till the snow melts

I keep hoping that Washington DC falls into the ocean !!!

It would be so nice to read this newsgroup without any political
postings.


Yep, make sure you got enough beer. It takes a lot of beer for fuel to
shovel thru 28 feet of snow!

Shovel ? Screw that , that's why I bought a tractor with a blade on the
front . Sittin' out in the yard right now with a full tank of gas and chains
on , ready for the next round .

--
Snag

On 1/22/2016 10:33 PM, Meanie wrote:



Okay then. All is right with the world. She mow the lawn too?

Lawns in Nevada? Surely you jest.

Sadly, no. People moved there from the east and had to have lawns.
There are programs now to replace them with natural landscape that uses
no water.

wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 21:48:52 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:

My DIL was telling the wife today that the Kroger they shop at had
on their sign "no bread , no milk , no TP" . Memphis got almost
half an inch of snow ...

HALF AN INCH ???????

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA......

When we get a half inch of snow we sweep the porch with a broom and go
on with normal life!

Hell, when we got 14 inches of snow a few weeks ago, we had some
delays, and had to do some work, but everyone survived, and the
stores had nearly full shelves!

That's because where you live snow is not unusual . Where they live , snow
is unusual and is almost always preceded by an ice/sleet/freezing rain storm
that lays down a base of ice under the snow . Same here where I live - I
have chains for everything but the Harley . Some neighborhoods in Memphis
won't see a snow plow at all , depending on how much they get . So people
feel the need to stock up . I don't understand the B/M/TP thing my self as
we always have that stuff on hand . I do check my liquor supply though ...
and make sure I have gas for the generator and tractor .

--
Snag

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 22:02:37 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:

wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:51:16 -0800, T wrote:

till the snow melts

I keep hoping that Washington DC falls into the ocean !!!

It would be so nice to read this newsgroup without any political
postings.


Yep, make sure you got enough beer. It takes a lot of beer for fuel to
shovel thru 28 feet of snow!

Shovel ? Screw that , that's why I bought a tractor with a blade on the
front . Sittin' out in the yard right now with a full tank of gas and chains
on , ready for the next round .

How can you find the tractor under 28 ft. of snow ?

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 22:26:55 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:

wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 21:48:52 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:

My DIL was telling the wife today that the Kroger they shop at had
on their sign "no bread , no milk , no TP" . Memphis got almost
half an inch of snow ...

HALF AN INCH ???????

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA......

When we get a half inch of snow we sweep the porch with a broom and go
on with normal life!

Hell, when we got 14 inches of snow a few weeks ago, we had some
delays, and had to do some work, but everyone survived, and the
stores had nearly full shelves!

That's because where you live snow is not unusual . Where they live , snow
is unusual and is almost always preceded by an ice/sleet/freezing rain storm
that lays down a base of ice under the snow . Same here where I live - I
have chains for everything but the Harley . Some neighborhoods in Memphis
won't see a snow plow at all , depending on how much they get . So people
feel the need to stock up . I don't understand the B/M/TP thing my self as
we always have that stuff on hand . I do check my liquor supply though ...
and make sure I have gas for the generator and tractor .

The need for all that TP says a lot!
A bunch of ASSHOLES LOL

On 1/22/2016 4:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


A cold weather tip on CNN... if you lose power don't use the BBQ
grill inside the house for heat.

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 22:32:26 -0600, wrote:

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 22:26:55 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:

wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 21:48:52 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:

My DIL was telling the wife today that the Kroger they shop at had
on their sign "no bread , no milk , no TP" . Memphis got almost
half an inch of snow ...

HALF AN INCH ???????

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA......

When we get a half inch of snow we sweep the porch with a broom and go
on with normal life!

Hell, when we got 14 inches of snow a few weeks ago, we had some
delays, and had to do some work, but everyone survived, and the
stores had nearly full shelves!

That's because where you live snow is not unusual . Where they live ,
snow
is unusual and is almost always preceded by an ice/sleet/freezing rain
storm
that lays down a base of ice under the snow . Same here where I live - I
have chains for everything but the Harley . Some neighborhoods in
Memphis
won't see a snow plow at all , depending on how much they get . So
people
feel the need to stock up . I don't understand the B/M/TP thing my self
as
we always have that stuff on hand . I do check my liquor supply though
...
and make sure I have gas for the generator and tractor .

The need for all that TP says a lot!
A bunch of ASSHOLES LOL

Online shopping changed a lot of things. Do companies like
Sears still send out catalogs? No outhouses to tip over at
Halloween either nowadays.


--
Using Opera's mail client: http://www.opera.com/mail/

My 2 Cents wrote:
On 1/22/2016 4:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


A cold weather tip on CNN... if you lose power don't use the BBQ
grill inside the house for heat.

Today it was 9 deg. C with sunny, sky Chinook wind blowing from the
West. Expect about half of an inch snow on Sunday. That's about it.

On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 22:58:19 -0600, My 2 Cents wrote:

On 1/22/2016 4:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


A cold weather tip on CNN... if you lose power don't use the BBQ
grill inside the house for heat.

Thats right. Instead, bring a metal garbage can inside the house, cut a
6 inch hole in the lid and stick a 6" furnace pipe in that hole, run the
other end of the pipe out a window. Smash up all your furniture, and
burn it in that can.

This is NOT a joke. Back in the 70's I was renting a duplex. The
landlord lived in another state. He told me that if I rented out the
furnished upper flat, and do all maintenance in the building, I'd get my
rent for half price. I rented it out, and soon found out the guys were
on drugs. They did exactly what I said above. I found out when the hall
was full of smoke, and went into their apartment. They were not home,
the furniture was all busted up, and the whole place was full of smoke.
I called the fire dept. and the police came too. The police waited for
them to return, and arrested at least one of them after finding drugs in
there. I evicted them immediately. Normally they're supposed to get a
writen notice and all of that, but the police told them to get out or
face more legal charges. They left!

I had to repaint the whole upper flat and hallway. Get new furniture and
so on. The landlord pressed charges, but never got paid for the damages.
After that, I got a decent tenant, and he was pleased. (and so was I).

All of this because they could not pay their gas bill!

On Friday, January 22, 2016 at 11:58:13 PM UTC-5, My 2 Cents wrote:
On 1/22/2016 4:58 PM, Oren wrote:
It's coming to get cha...

Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.

Good luck from sunny global warming Nevada.


A cold weather tip on CNN... if you lose power don't use the BBQ
grill inside the house for heat.

I bring this inside when the power goes off. Light and heat.

http://i440.photobucket.com/albums/q...ps9ojfvuwi.jpg

On 01/22/2016 08:16 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
On 1/22/2016 10:33 PM, Meanie wrote:



Okay then. All is right with the world. She mow the lawn too?

Lawns in Nevada? Surely you jest.

Sadly, no. People moved there from the east and had to have lawns.
There are programs now to replace them with natural landscape that uses
no water.

In Northern Nevada, almost every "city" house has a lawn. Country
houses do not.

wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 22:26:55 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:

wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 21:48:52 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:

My DIL was telling the wife today that the Kroger they shop at
had on their sign "no bread , no milk , no TP" . Memphis got
almost half an inch of snow ...

HALF AN INCH ???????

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA......

When we get a half inch of snow we sweep the porch with a broom and
go on with normal life!

Hell, when we got 14 inches of snow a few weeks ago, we had some
delays, and had to do some work, but everyone survived, and the
stores had nearly full shelves!

That's because where you live snow is not unusual . Where they live
, snow is unusual and is almost always preceded by an
ice/sleet/freezing rain storm that lays down a base of ice under the
snow . Same here where I live - I have chains for everything but the
Harley . Some neighborhoods in Memphis won't see a snow plow at all
, depending on how much they get . So people feel the need to stock
up . I don't understand the B/M/TP thing my self as we always have
that stuff on hand . I do check my liquor supply though ... and make
sure I have gas for the generator and tractor .

The need for all that TP says a lot!
A bunch of ASSHOLES LOL

And you're a prick . So what's your point ?

--
Snag

On 1/22/2016 7:32 PM, Oren wrote:

I'm guessing the store shelves are being emptied. Same happens in
hurricanes and other major storms, Stay warm.


About a week ago, I gassed up the snow blower,
made sure it ran. Not going to enjoy this storm.
My part of NYS (western end) gets lake effect
snow off two Great Lakes. We can get burried
badly in snow. Hoping the power stays on.

--
..
Christopher A. Young
learn more about Jesus
.. www.lds.org
..
..

On 1/22/2016 11:30 PM, wrote:
On Fri, 22 Jan 2016 22:02:37 -0600, "Terry Coombs"
wrote:
Yep, make sure you got enough beer. It takes a lot of beer for fuel to
shovel thru 28 feet of snow!

Shovel ? Screw that , that's why I bought a tractor with a blade on the
front . Sittin' out in the yard right now with a full tank of gas and chains
on , ready for the next round .

How can you find the tractor under 28 ft. of snow ?


Terry probably has one of those tall stalks
with an orange triangle flag on top.

--
..
Christopher A. Young
learn more about Jesus
.. www.lds.org
..
..

On 1/22/2016 11:58 PM, My 2 Cents wrote:
Three things needed in life: food, warmth and shelter.



A cold weather tip on CNN... if you lose power don't use the BBQ
grill inside the house for heat.


Charcoal is also a no-no. Really pumps out carbon
monoxide. Every few years there is a story about
a family who lost power. Papa goes out and lights
up some charcoal and brings it indoors. The family
huddles over the heat source, and promptly dies of
carbon monoxide.

--
..
Christopher A. Young
learn more about Jesus
.. www.lds.org
..
..

Per Stormin Mormon:
My part of NYS (western end) gets lake effect
snow off two Great Lakes. We can get burried
badly in snow. Hoping the power stays on.

Two experiences from my only trip to lake effect snow country:

- They weren't plowing the roads up there. They just ran graders
over them to smooth out the snow. Only blacktop I saw during
two daysd was a rough circle about 50' across where the two main
streets in Watertown intersected. Never saw a stuck or
spun-out vehicle.

- I was cross-country skiing through this grove of very small
(I thought) evergreen trees. Got some ice under a binding,
stopped, took off that ski, removed the ice. Then I thought
"Well, let's take off the other ski and clean any little ice
off of that too."

Stepped off the remaining ski and "Plooomph !!!!".

Turns out those were not very small trees. Instead they were
mature christmas trees 7-8' tall and I was over my head in
snow, scared out of my wits.




Everybody's seen this one, right?
================================================== ================
Welcome to the "Lake Effect Snow" in Northern New York.
------------------------------------------------------------------
December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season
and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window
watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a
Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love
snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there
be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea
I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy
again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the
snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the
driveway, so I got
to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely
have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says
we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to
see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man,
I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped
to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath
away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything
again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff
and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I
think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the
driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an
hour, Which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets
on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it
to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to
death in my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn
stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by
twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're
too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware
store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might
have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have
to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't
melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to
shovel and then I had to ****. By the time I got undressed, ****ed and
dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a
plow on his truck
for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk
is lying.

December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What, is she
nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago??? She says she
did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch
who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls
and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the
corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the
street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just
been!

Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open
our presents, but I was too busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.

December 25 - Merry fricking Christmas! 20 more inches of the goddamn
slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God
I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad
attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A
Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the
microwave.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was
all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber
came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to
replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is
driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he
think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He is now
suing me for a million dollars not only for the beating I gave him but
also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife
went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep
giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
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Pete Cresswell