Woodworking (rec.woodworking) Discussion forum covering all aspects of working with wood. All levels of expertise are encouraged to particiapte.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 859
Default O/T: Ode To The Fart

To complement jo4hn's post.

Enjoy

Lew
========================================
A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.....

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.

But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!

Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?


  #2   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,134
Default O/T: Ode To The Fart

This is touching.

Inspired while shaving in the bathroom mirror this morning?


RonB
  #3   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,398
Default O/T: Ode To The Fart


"RonB" wrote in message
This is touching.
Inspired while shaving in the bathroom mirror this morning?


You touched yourself while shaving in the bathroom this morning?


  #4   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 8
Default Ode To The Fart

HeyBub wrote:
Lew Hodgett wrote:


(snip)

Off went about a hand's breadth of skin,
The hot coulter so burned his butt,
And he thought he would die of the pain."

.... so THAT's where she got her reputation from ... now, all
those who require provenance for comments should shut up ...

Aero
  #5   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 6,062
Default O/T: Ode To The Fart

On Jul 6, 2:50*am, "Lew Hodgett" wrote:
To complement jo4hn's post.

Enjoy

Lew
========================================
A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.....

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.

But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!

Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?


As we say up here in Canuckistan, upon hearing 'that sound': "the
geese are flying low today."


  #6   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 714
Default O/T: Ode To The Fart

Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 6, 2:50 am, "Lew Hodgett" wrote:
[snip]


Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?


As we say up here in Canuckistan, upon hearing 'that sound': "the
geese are flying low today."


I happened to be on an elevator with an English gentleman who farted.
His explanation? "Trouser cough."
:-)
  #7   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 6,062
Default O/T: Ode To The Fart

On Jul 7, 1:23*pm, jo4hn wrote:
Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 6, 2:50 am, "Lew Hodgett" wrote:
[snip]
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?


As we say up here in Canuckistan, upon hearing 'that sound': "the
geese are flying low today."


I happened to be on an elevator with an English gentleman who farted.
His explanation? *"Trouser cough."
:-)


or;
"Ooops, stepped on a barking spider."
  #8   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 607
Default O/T: Ode To The Fart

Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 7, 1:23 pm, jo4hn wrote:
Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 6, 2:50 am, "Lew Hodgett" wrote:
[snip]
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
As we say up here in Canuckistan, upon hearing 'that sound': "the
geese are flying low today."

I happened to be on an elevator with an English gentleman who farted.
His explanation? "Trouser cough."
:-)


or;
"Ooops, stepped on a barking spider."


We used to call it "a low flying elk". I have no idea what that means. :-)

--
"Our beer goes through thousands of quality Czechs every day."
(From a Shiner Bock billboard I saw in Austin some years ago)
To reply, eat the taco.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbqboyee/
  #9   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 6,062
Default O/T: Ode To The Fart

On Jul 7, 3:28*pm, Steve Turner wrote:
Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 7, 1:23 pm, jo4hn wrote:
Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 6, 2:50 am, "Lew Hodgett" wrote:
[snip]
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
As we say up here in Canuckistan, upon hearing 'that sound': "the
geese are flying low today."
I happened to be on an elevator with an English gentleman who farted.
His explanation? *"Trouser cough."
:-)


or;
"Ooops, stepped on a barking spider."


We used to call it "a low flying elk". *I have no idea what that means. *:-)


I do not remember where I heard/saw this but there is this scene where
dad goes "Pull my finger" to his little boy, dad then farts and the
kid says: "What are you, some kind of doorbell?"



  #10   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 613
Default O/T: Ode To The Fart

On Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:28:00 -0500, Steve Turner
wrote:

Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 7, 1:23 pm, jo4hn wrote:
Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 6, 2:50 am, "Lew Hodgett" wrote:
[snip]
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
As we say up here in Canuckistan, upon hearing 'that sound': "the
geese are flying low today."
I happened to be on an elevator with an English gentleman who farted.
His explanation? "Trouser cough."
:-)


or;
"Ooops, stepped on a barking spider."


We used to call it "a low flying elk". I have no idea what that means. :-)


Geese.


  #11   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 18,538
Default O/T: Ode To The Fart

On Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:34:57 -0500, krw wrote:

On Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:28:00 -0500, Steve Turner
wrote:

Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 7, 1:23 pm, jo4hn wrote:
Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 6, 2:50 am, "Lew Hodgett" wrote:
[snip]
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
As we say up here in Canuckistan, upon hearing 'that sound': "the
geese are flying low today."
I happened to be on an elevator with an English gentleman who farted.
His explanation? "Trouser cough."
:-)

or;
"Ooops, stepped on a barking spider."


We used to call it "a low flying elk". I have no idea what that means. :-)


Geese.

"got a duck in yer' pocket"

or

"If the little stinker doesn't want to pay the rent he cansneak out
the back but he doesn't have to slam the door!!"
  #12   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 6,062
Default O/T: Ode To The Fart

On Jul 8, 12:03*am, wrote:
On Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:34:57 -0500, krw wrote:
On Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:28:00 -0500, Steve Turner
wrote:


Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 7, 1:23 pm, jo4hn wrote:
Robatoy wrote:
On Jul 6, 2:50 am, "Lew Hodgett" wrote:
[snip]
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
As we say up here in Canuckistan, upon hearing 'that sound': "the
geese are flying low today."
I happened to be on an elevator with an English gentleman who farted..
His explanation? *"Trouser cough."
:-)


or;
"Ooops, stepped on a barking spider."


We used to call it "a low flying elk". *I have no idea what that means. *:-)


Geese.


*"got a duck in yer' pocket"

or

"If the little stinker doesn't want to pay the rent he cansneak out
the back *but he doesn't have to slam the door!!"


Did you know that turds are tapered so that your ass won't slam shut?
  #13   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 11,538
Default Ode To The Fart

Lew Hodgett wrote:
To complement jo4hn's post.

Enjoy

Lew
========================================
A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.....

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.

But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!

Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?


Dilbert's cartoon today - Jul 8 - is kinda on point:
http://www.dilbert.com/fast


  #14   Report Post  
Posted to rec.woodworking
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 4,207
Default Ode To The Fart

HeyBub wrote:
Lew Hodgett wrote:
To complement jo4hn's post.

Enjoy

Lew
========================================
A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.....

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.

But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!

Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?


Dilbert's cartoon today - Jul 8 - is kinda on point:
http://www.dilbert.com/fast


That's the best euphemism for it I've heard yet.
Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules

Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Was that the Wood Muse blowing in my ear or did a passing fly just fart? FoggyTown Woodworking 3 September 5th 07 07:35 PM
Correction: A Shitting Fart To Everybody L. Credit Where Due T. Home Repair 0 June 2nd 07 06:06 PM
Korey Kruse of Olathe Kansas loves to fart on elevators. He insists that everyone "SMELL IT". [email protected] Home Repair 2 August 6th 06 04:41 PM
Really Bad Fart Smell In My House!!! Richard UK diy 23 October 14th 04 09:45 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 01:21 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 DIYbanter.
The comments are property of their posters.
 

About Us

"It's about DIY & home improvement"