So the plenty-of-life-left-in-it-yet (N reg) Golfmobile estate has its
MoT in a week or three. And the everhelpful independent mechanics
(Graham Batts, for anyone in Bristle - a fine place to get your VWs,
Audis, Porsches(as-if), and Skoden(more-like) fixed) said at its service
a little while back 'one of your two rear numberplate bulbs is
intermittent, we'll need to fix that for the MoT, let us know a few
weeks before you bring it in since the screws are rusted up and we'll
need to order new bits in'.

Well, rusted screws. How hard can it be? I've got a Dremel, I've got
attitude, I've got cold chisels, I've got (or had when I started) daylight.

Yes well. I'm really, REALLY glad the VW beancounters decided to use
zinc-plated - if that ;-( - self-tappers, rather than going mad and
shelling out for stainless, to hold the bulb covers in place. The
vaguest racial memory of a crosshead remains in a couple of them;
touching with a screwdriver makes the in-memoriam rust fall off, to
leave a vaguely-domed, grip-free half-dome head. Of course it's under a
lip, so access to sides of the head is effectively impossible. Cutting a
slot into the heads let me turn a couple of the four (two for each bulb,
may as well renew both of them at the same time) for (a) a turn and a
half, (b) half a turn, before half of the head on one snapped off, and
the other one stuck fast. Get one cover off with only one side's
mounting hole cracked off; the other one's not going anywhere.

OK, how does the trim come off? Ah, plastic pop fixings. Pop. Pop. Pop.
Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Hmm, moves OK at this side, seems stuck by the
handgrab. Ooh, it's a separate little moulded piece. Pop. Out with the
bolt. OK, what keeps the trim in place at the top of the door? Looks
like a snap fixing. How hard do I dare pull? Hmm, harder; lever a
big-ass screwdriver in - success! Right, I guess the numberplate screws
have to come off too, to get full access to their lights. Great, they're
rusted up too - luckily with enough head to afford grip on the sides to
the molewrench. Off they come. Right, out with the plasticky tray that
holds the numberplate and lights - release the light connectors first,
mind. Spin, spin, spin those little nuts off. The top ones here are
corroded too, so one of the studs breaks free of the plastic surround
it's 'held' in as I undo the nuts.

Success. Car's now both road-illegal (no plate, let alone lights) and
inviting to scrotes (nice big hole into boot and doorlock mech exposed -
cool!). Off to workshop (the garage which, if the car was kept in,
might've slowed down the rusting of these screws; but what uk.d-i-y'er
keeps a *car* in their garage!?) to drill out or otherwise persuade bits
of screw out of plastick moulding to release second lamp cover. Turns
out they're not going into sheet metal, just a thickened bit of plastic;
but rust on their rear ends is quite enough to stop them wanting to turn.

Interlude: buy replacement bulbs - at least the lampholders are
seperable units (once the diffuser/covers are off), and keeping bulb and
diffuser should keep the MoT Type Approval jobsworths off my back (I was
ready to replace the lamps with a row of white LEDs at this point ;-).
Replace lampholders, secure diffusers with excess of hotmelt glue
(previous lamps lasted 9 years, new ones should do as long, by which
time this car'll be pensioned off, or sent to do a Meeja Studies degree
- it'll be just the right age...) Refit numberplate (more hotmelt glue
to supplement the weedy selftappers), refit cleaned-up stud to n-plate
housing (more hotmelt glue), apply silicone sealant to bodywork before
refitting n-plate housing (tasteful white streak around numberplate
surround now, couldn't be fagged searching for the clear sealant!).
Turn on lights - yes, both bulbs alight. Of course, one'll probably blow
the day before the MoT...

Total time to fix: about 2 soddin' hours. But hey, Wolfsburg gained
multiple pfennings on the cost of the fixings - I mean, *stainless*
self-tappers!? Madness! madness, I tell you!

Stefek

"Stefek Zaba" wrote in message
...
So the plenty-of-life-left-in-it-yet (N reg) Golfmobile estate has its MoT
in a week or three. And the everhelpful independent mechanics (Graham
Batts, for anyone in Bristle - a fine place to get your VWs, Audis,
Porsches(as-if), and Skoden(more-like) fixed) said at its service a little
while back 'one of your two rear numberplate bulbs is intermittent, we'll
need to fix that for the MoT, let us know a few weeks before you bring it
in since the screws are rusted up and we'll need to order new bits in'.

Well, rusted screws. How hard can it be? I've got a Dremel, I've got
attitude, I've got cold chisels, I've got (or had when I started)
daylight.

Yes well. I'm really, REALLY glad the VW beancounters decided to use
zinc-plated - if that ;-( - self-tappers, rather than going mad and
shelling out for stainless, to hold the bulb covers in place. The vaguest
racial memory of a crosshead remains in a couple of them; touching with a
screwdriver makes the in-memoriam rust fall off, to leave a vaguely-domed,
grip-free half-dome head. Of course it's under a lip, so access to sides
of the head is effectively impossible. Cutting a slot into the heads let
me turn a couple of the four (two for each bulb, may as well renew both of
them at the same time) for (a) a turn and a half, (b) half a turn, before
half of the head on one snapped off, and the other one stuck fast. Get one
cover off with only one side's mounting hole cracked off; the other one's
not going anywhere.

OK, how does the trim come off? Ah, plastic pop fixings. Pop. Pop. Pop.
Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Hmm, moves OK at this side, seems stuck by the
handgrab. Ooh, it's a separate little moulded piece. Pop. Out with the
bolt. OK, what keeps the trim in place at the top of the door? Looks like
a snap fixing. How hard do I dare pull? Hmm, harder; lever a big-ass
screwdriver in - success! Right, I guess the numberplate screws have to
come off too, to get full access to their lights. Great, they're rusted up
too - luckily with enough head to afford grip on the sides to the
molewrench. Off they come. Right, out with the plasticky tray that holds
the numberplate and lights - release the light connectors first, mind.
Spin, spin, spin those little nuts off. The top ones here are corroded
too, so one of the studs breaks free of the plastic surround it's 'held'
in as I undo the nuts.

Success. Car's now both road-illegal (no plate, let alone lights) and
inviting to scrotes (nice big hole into boot and doorlock mech exposed -
cool!). Off to workshop (the garage which, if the car was kept in,
might've slowed down the rusting of these screws; but what uk.d-i-y'er
keeps a *car* in their garage!?) to drill out or otherwise persuade bits
of screw out of plastick moulding to release second lamp cover. Turns out
they're not going into sheet metal, just a thickened bit of plastic; but
rust on their rear ends is quite enough to stop them wanting to turn.

Interlude: buy replacement bulbs - at least the lampholders are seperable
units (once the diffuser/covers are off), and keeping bulb and diffuser
should keep the MoT Type Approval jobsworths off my back (I was ready to
replace the lamps with a row of white LEDs at this point ;-). Replace
lampholders, secure diffusers with excess of hotmelt glue (previous lamps
lasted 9 years, new ones should do as long, by which time this car'll be
pensioned off, or sent to do a Meeja Studies degree - it'll be just the
right age...) Refit numberplate (more hotmelt glue to supplement the weedy
selftappers), refit cleaned-up stud to n-plate housing (more hotmelt
glue), apply silicone sealant to bodywork before refitting n-plate housing
(tasteful white streak around numberplate surround now, couldn't be fagged
searching for the clear sealant!).
Turn on lights - yes, both bulbs alight. Of course, one'll probably blow
the day before the MoT...

Total time to fix: about 2 soddin' hours. But hey, Wolfsburg gained
multiple pfennings on the cost of the fixings - I mean, *stainless*
self-tappers!? Madness! madness, I tell you!

Stefek

and if the garage had charged 80 quid for two hours labour it would be a
rip-off?

mrcheerful . wrote:


Total time to fix: about 2 soddin' hours. But hey, Wolfsburg gained
multiple pfennings on the cost of the fixings - I mean, *stainless*
self-tappers!? Madness! madness, I tell you!


and if the garage had charged 80 quid for two hours labour it would be a
rip-off?

Well, the garage would've taken less than the 2 hours it took me, since
there'd've been no 'exploring' nor trying to get at the damn screws from
the outside - they'd've known right away how to get the numberplate
carrier out, including the trim-removal-exploration. That's the
expertise you pay for. And the place I go to with the VWs is not a main
dealer, and don't play silly games with padding their times. But it
seemed like a silly enough little job that I preferred to bodgexxxxxdo
it myself...

"Stefek Zaba" wrote in message
...

snip

That's cheered me up - nice writing Stefek!

Perhaps there whould be another ng - u.k.b-i-y

Mary

Stefek

It often goes that way with cars. Wait till you decide to do some
structure welding. A little bit of rust can turn into an entire sill
split from end to end. Remove rust and sometimes you find there aint
nuthin else there... for the whole damn length of the car.
Dont do car work anymore Or have to drive old bangers.


NT

wrote in message
oups.com...
It often goes that way with cars. Wait till you decide to do some
structure welding. A little bit of rust can turn into an entire sill
split from end to end. Remove rust and sometimes you find there aint
nuthin else there... for the whole damn length of the car.

It's called Weetabix here :-(

Mary

wrote:

It often goes that way with cars. Wait till you decide to do some
structure welding. A little bit of rust can turn into an entire sill
split from end to end. Remove rust and sometimes you find there aint
nuthin else there... for the whole damn length of the car.
Dont do car work anymore Or have to drive old bangers.


NT

To bloomin true.

Ther cones apouint when its time to say 'sod it. Trade time' and get
another golfobile or wahtever, that has another 15 years left in it..

AIUI, the latest Datsun Maxima requires the removal of the front bumper
to change a headlight bulb! The Corsa requires half the dash removed to
replace the Heater status lights, they may be cheap to buy, but they're
becoming unrepairable.

Regards
Capitol

"Capitol" wrote in message
...

AIUI, the latest Datsun Maxima requires the removal of the front bumper
to change a headlight bulb!

I know of one car that requires the removal of the rear internal trim panels
to replace any rear light cluster bulbs, they having supplied any of the
usual flaps or doors that you would expect !

The Corsa requires half the dash removed to
replace the Heater status lights, they may be cheap to buy, but they're
becoming unrepairable.


Yes, but that's not unusual and never has been.

On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 00:23:36 -0000, ":::Jerry::::"
wrote:


"Capitol" wrote in message
...

AIUI, the latest Datsun Maxima requires the removal of the front bumper
to change a headlight bulb!

I know of one car that requires the removal of the rear internal trim panels
to replace any rear light cluster bulbs, they having supplied any of the
usual flaps or doors that you would expect !

The Corsa requires half the dash removed to
replace the Heater status lights, they may be cheap to buy, but they're
becoming unrepairable.


Yes, but that's not unusual and never has been.

There's a very funny book called "You Have Been Warned" published in the
1930s which states something to the effect that with practice you'll be
able to do repairs ranging from the simple roadside ones like slipping
in a new crank shaft, right up to removing the body to change the dash
bulb.
--
On-line canal route planner: http://www.canalplan.org.uk

(Waterways World site of the month, April 2001)

In article ,
Huge wrote:
A minicabber friend of mine changed the gearbox on his Opel by the side
of the road in Germany, it being cheaper to drive there, change the
box and drive back, than to pay British prices for the parts.

German scrappies are cheaper than British? Of course being a German car
they'd have more.

--
*Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.