Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next door was
the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained that I didn't
fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in any case I don't like
to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners, tee shirt,
a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I opened an account -
without having to spend a single penny - I would get 20 tubes of silicone
completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone and a £3K
credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some kinda sales promotion
with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you opened a trade
account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when you spend
£100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your first purchase could
be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only thing they
sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. £100 worth of power tools for free? I could
flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate & doesn't have
a bloody clue.

I'll report back.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained that I
didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in any
case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners, tee
shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I opened an
account - without having to spend a single penny - I would get 20
tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone and a
£3K credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some kinda sales
promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you opened a
trade account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when you
spend £100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your first
purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. £100 worth of power tools for free? I
could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone and the
100 quid and never been back

--
Phil L
RSRL Tipster Of The Year 2008

Phil L wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained that I
didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in any
case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners, tee
shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I opened an
account - without having to spend a single penny - I would get 20
tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone and a
£3K credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some kinda sales
promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you opened a
trade account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when you
spend £100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your first
purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. £100 worth of power tools for free? I
could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone
and the 100 quid and never been back

Yup, popped in today & its kosher. I shall avail myself of £100 worth of
Ryobi power tools.

I explained to them when I opened the account that I didn't buy anything
they sold.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

In an earlier contribution to this discussion,
The Medway Handyman wrote:

Phil L wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained that I
didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in any
case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners, tee
shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I opened an
account - without having to spend a single penny - I would get 20
tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone and a
£3K credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some kinda sales
promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you opened
a trade account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when you
spend £100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your first
purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. £100 worth of power tools for free?
I could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone
and the 100 quid and never been back

Yup, popped in today & its kosher. I shall avail myself of £100
worth of Ryobi power tools.

I explained to them when I opened the account that I didn't buy
anything they sold.


Sounds like a wonderful deal! Can we all have a 'Trade' account - or do they
actually require some evidence that we're in the trade?
--
Cheers,
Roger
______
Email address maintained for newsgroup use only, and not regularly
monitored.. Messages sent to it may not be read for several weeks.
PLEASE REPLY TO NEWSGROUP!

Roger Mills wrote:

Sounds like a wonderful deal! Can we all have a 'Trade' account - or do they
actually require some evidence that we're in the trade?

Magnet are seriously ****ed-up.

They did a similar offer in the last recession when I was refitting a
kitchen. I took them up on it - it was an offer to repay me every penny
I spent on the kitchen. Admittedly they did repay me every penny.

They also ****ed up the order in impressive style. They delivered the
wrong kitchen units. I called them to tell them about the error, and
they promised to deliver the correct units "within a week". It took a
month and when they delivered the units were still wrong. The blokes
delivering the units also refused to take away the wrong units. "We're
only paid to deliver."

Then they delivered a bed, some salad bowls, two worktops a wardrobe and
another bed, none of which I had ordered. I still didn't have the
kitchen units I needed. I complained and sent them a list of their
cock-ups. They delivered some more units (still wrong) and refused to
take away the wrong ones, again. I complained again and finally got a
delivery of the corrent units. Then they delivered another worktop
another bed and a wardrobe. I complained and they delivered an oven and
a gas hob.

I asked them to take away the crap I really, really didn't want it or
need it and I got a letter back saying that Magnet were now bust so they
couldn't pay me compensation. I ended up having a garage sale and
getting rid of the "stuff" and then I got a cheque from Magnet for the
cost of the units I had originally ordered. I sent it back and the
receiver returned it to me.

They really deserve to go bust again. The staff are idiots.

Roger Mills wrote:
In an earlier contribution to this discussion,
The Medway Handyman wrote:

Phil L wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained that
I didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in any
case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners,
tee shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I
opened an account - without having to spend a single penny - I
would get 20 tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone and
a £3K credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some kinda
sales promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you opened
a trade account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when
you spend £100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your
first purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. £100 worth of power tools for free?
I could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone
and the 100 quid and never been back

Yup, popped in today & its kosher. I shall avail myself of £100
worth of Ryobi power tools.

I explained to them when I opened the account that I didn't buy
anything they sold.


Sounds like a wonderful deal! Can we all have a 'Trade' account - or
do they actually require some evidence that we're in the trade?

The rep saw my van - which is heavily signwritten, but other than that
nothing. Didn't ask for bank details, trade or bank references. In fact I
made it quite clear that I didn't buy anything much that they sold and that
I didn't like trade accounts. I only have one from my decking supplier & I
pay that off as soon as the customer pays me.

They pretty much insisted I open one. Suspect a business card & letterhead
might well do the trick.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

On Jun 25, 7:42*pm, "Phil L" wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. *The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. *I explained that I
didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in any
case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners, tee
shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I opened an
account - without having to spend a single penny - I would get 20
tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone and a
£3K credit account. *Never ever used it. *Obviously some kinda sales
promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you opened a
trade account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when you
spend £100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your first
purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. *The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. *£100 worth of power tools for free? I
could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone and the
100 quid and never been back

Magnet are, however, getting lots of free publicity on Usenet. You
have served their purpose quite nicely.

MBQ

In an earlier contribution to this discussion,
Man at B&Q wrote:

On Jun 25, 7:42 pm, "Phil L" wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone
and the 100 quid and never been back

Magnet are, however, getting lots of free publicity on Usenet. You
have served their purpose quite nicely.


Publicity, perhaps. But the effect on their bottom line is going to be
negative rather than positive if everyone who reads about it here goes and
gets their hundred quid's worth of freebies without buying anything else!
--
Cheers,
Roger
______
Email address maintained for newsgroup use only, and not regularly
monitored.. Messages sent to it may not be read for several weeks.
PLEASE REPLY TO NEWSGROUP!

Man at B&Q wrote:
On Jun 25, 7:42 pm, "Phil L" wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained that I
didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in any
case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners, tee
shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I opened an
account - without having to spend a single penny - I would get 20
tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone and a
£3K credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some kinda sales
promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you opened
a trade account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when you
spend £100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your first
purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. £100 worth of power tools for free? I
could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone
and the 100 quid and never been back

Magnet are, however, getting lots of free publicity on Usenet. You
have served their purpose quite nicely.

So you would rather not know about an offer of £100 worth of stuff for free?


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
om...
Man at B&Q wrote:
On Jun 25, 7:42 pm, "Phil L" wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained that I
didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in any
case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners, tee
shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I opened an
account - without having to spend a single penny - I would get 20
tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone and a
£3K credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some kinda sales
promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you opened
a trade account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when you
spend £100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your first
purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. £100 worth of power tools for free? I
could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone
and the 100 quid and never been back

Magnet are, however, getting lots of free publicity on Usenet. You
have served their purpose quite nicely.

So you would rather not know about an offer of £100 worth of stuff for
free?


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

Their website now says £50 of your first purchase, still worth a punt if its
going to cost you nothing.

Tom

On Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:12:16 +0100, "Tom"
wrote:

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
. com...
Man at B&Q wrote:
On Jun 25, 7:42 pm, "Phil L" wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained that I
didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in any
case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners, tee
shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I opened an
account - without having to spend a single penny - I would get 20
tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone and a
£3K credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some kinda sales
promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you opened
a trade account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when you
spend £100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your first
purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. £100 worth of power tools for free? I
could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone
and the 100 quid and never been back

Magnet are, however, getting lots of free publicity on Usenet. You
have served their purpose quite nicely.

So you would rather not know about an offer of £100 worth of stuff for
free?


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

Their website now says £50 of your first purchase, still worth a punt if its
going to cost you nothing.

But...do they actually discount the purchase at the till or issue you
with £50 worth of credit or vouchers?

Harry wrote:
On Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:12:16 +0100, "Tom"
wrote:

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in
message om...
Man at B&Q wrote:
On Jun 25, 7:42 pm, "Phil L" wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained
that I didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and
that in any case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners,
tee shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I
opened an account - without having to spend a single penny - I
would get 20 tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone
and a £3K credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some
kinda sales promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you
opened a trade account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when
you spend £100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your
first purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power
tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. £100 worth of power tools for
free? I could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of
silicone and the 100 quid and never been back

Magnet are, however, getting lots of free publicity on Usenet. You
have served their purpose quite nicely.

So you would rather not know about an offer of £100 worth of stuff
for free?


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

Their website now says £50 of your first purchase, still worth a
punt if its going to cost you nothing.

But...do they actually discount the purchase at the till or issue you
with £50 worth of credit or vouchers?

You buy via your monthly account. My voucher is for £100. Say the bill is
£105. Your statement comes in as £105 debit, £100 credit, balance to pay
£5.

Thats how it was explained to me when I called in to ask.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

On Sat, 27 Jun 2009 13:34:33 GMT, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:

discounted
--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

Their website now says £50 of your first purchase, still worth a
punt if its going to cost you nothing.

But...do they actually discount the purchase at the till or issue you
with £50 worth of credit or vouchers?

You buy via your monthly account. My voucher is for £100. Say the bill is
£105. Your statement comes in as £105 debit, £100 credit, balance to pay
£5.

Thats how it was explained to me when I called in to ask.

Coo, ta, I'll d/l their application form next.

On Jun 26, 6:40*pm, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:
Man at B&Q wrote:
On Jun 25, 7:42 pm, "Phil L" wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained that I
didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in any
case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners, tee
shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I opened an
account - without having to spend a single penny - I would get 20
tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone and a
£3K credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some kinda sales
promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you opened
a trade account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when you
spend £100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your first
purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. £100 worth of power tools for free? I
could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone
and the 100 quid and never been back

Magnet are, however, getting lots of free publicity on Usenet. You
have served their purpose quite nicely.

So you would rather not know about an offer of £100 worth of stuff for free?

Where did I say that?

MBQ

Man at B&Q wrote:
On Jun 26, 6:40 pm, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:
Man at B&Q wrote:
On Jun 25, 7:42 pm, "Phil L" wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained that
I didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in
any case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners,
tee shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I
opened an account - without having to spend a single penny - I
would get 20 tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone
and a £3K credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some
kinda sales promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you
opened a trade account?'

'Activate your account, get £100 off any single transaction when
you spend £100 - even if you only spend £100 - thats right, your
first purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power
tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. £100 worth of power tools for
free? I could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone
and the 100 quid and never been back

Magnet are, however, getting lots of free publicity on Usenet. You
have served their purpose quite nicely.

So you would rather not know about an offer of £100 worth of stuff
for free?

Where did I say that?

Errrrm when you said Magnet are, however, getting lots of free
publicity on Usenet. You
have served their purpose quite nicely.

If I hadn't 'served their purpose' you wouldn't know about it would you?
Doh.


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk


MBQ

On Jul 1, 4:30*pm, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:
Man at B&Q wrote:
On Jun 26, 6:40 pm, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:
Man at B&Q wrote:
On Jun 25, 7:42 pm, "Phil L" wrote:
The Medway Handyman wrote:
Late last year I were building a deck for a lady. The woman next
door was the manager of the local Magnet Trade.

She asked me if I would like to open an account. I explained that
I didn't fit kitchens, windows, doors or staircases and that in
any case I don't like to run accounts with anyone.

Ended up with a bag full of goodies, pads, pens, air fresheners,
tee shirt, a rather nice Irwin jack saw & the deal that if I
opened an account - without having to spend a single penny - I
would get 20 tubes of silicone completely free.

So I did, no trade or bank refs required, got my free silicone
and a 3K credit account. Never ever used it. Obviously some
kinda sales promotion with a target & no doubt a bonus scheme.

Got a flyer in the post today, on the theme of 'Remember you
opened a trade account?'

'Activate your account, get 100 off any single transaction when
you spend 100 - even if you only spend 100 - thats right, your
first purchase could be completely free'.

I've read the small print 3 times & can't find a catch. The only
thing they sell that I might buy is the Ryobi range of power
tools.

I shall pop in & check it out. 100 worth of power tools for
free? I could flog them & pocket the dosh!

Someone in their marketing department is obviously desperate &
doesn't have a bloody clue.

I'll report back.

It's true, I know lots of people who have taken the box of silicone
and the 100 quid and never been back

Magnet are, however, getting lots of free publicity on Usenet. You
have served their purpose quite nicely.

So you would rather not know about an offer of 100 worth of stuff
for free?

Where did I say that?

Errrrm *when you said Magnet are, however, getting lots of free
publicity on Usenet. You

"Magnet are, however, getting lots of free publicity on Usenet" might
use a lot of the same letters as "I'd rather not know about an offer
of 100 worth of stuff for free" but they totally different sentences
with totally different meaning.

have served their purpose quite nicely.

If I hadn't 'served their purpose' you wouldn't know about it would you?

Exactly. Like I said, lots of free publicity on Usenet.

Doh.

Indeed.

MBQ