We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is
worse than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon (can't chop the tree
down, can't build a car port, and the neighbours wouldn't let me use a
shotgun) so I need to find a way of getting the stuff off every day.

Very occasionally a wipe with a damp rag works but usually I need to
resort to scraping, and it's only a matter of time until I damage the
paintwork. Is there any product available that will get the stuff off
without damaging the paint?

Dave

"NoSpam" wrote in message
...
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is worse
than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon (can't chop the tree down, can't
build a car port, and the neighbours wouldn't let me use a shotgun) so I
need to find a way of getting the stuff off every day.

Very occasionally a wipe with a damp rag works but usually I need to
resort to scraping, and it's only a matter of time until I damage the
paintwork. Is there any product available that will get the stuff off
without damaging the paint?

a cat
--
Vass

Vass wrote:
"NoSpam" wrote in message
...
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is worse
than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon (can't chop the tree down, can't
build a car port, and the neighbours wouldn't let me use a shotgun) so I
need to find a way of getting the stuff off every day.

Very occasionally a wipe with a damp rag works but usually I need to
resort to scraping, and it's only a matter of time until I damage the
paintwork. Is there any product available that will get the stuff off
without damaging the paint?

a cat

:-) got one of those, he can't climb up the tree fast enough

We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is worse
than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon

I once had the same problem. I found the solution by accident. I
walked outside the house the other day and found a dead weasel, it was
similar to:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weasel

I think this had happened overnight when the animal was trying to jump
between buildings/trees - but was unsuccessful on the occasion =(
Anyway, I got it stuffed and preserved (just like hunters do with
their trophy) and left it on the garage to dry out. When I went
outside the next day there were virtually no birds in the area. I also
heard lots of bird screamings that morning. I still occasionally leave
it outside when sh&t problem gets worse.

Mike

wrote:

snip
I still occasionally leave
it outside when sh&t problem gets worse.

Bah...
I was waiting for the puchline.
How can you include sh1t & weazle in the same story with making a
hilarious reference to grease(d)

I'l have to make up my own punchline now which of course won't be funny
because I'll already have heard it.

--
http://gymratz.co.uk - Best Gym Equipment & Bodybuilding Supplements UK.
http://fitness-equipment-uk.com - UK's No.1 Fitness Equipment Suppliers.
http://water-rower.co.uk - Worlds best prices on the Worlds best Rower.
http://trade-price-supplements.co.uk - Bulk Order Supps. at Trade Prices

wrote:
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is worse
than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon

I once had the same problem. I found the solution by accident. I
walked outside the house the other day and found a dead weasel, it was
similar to:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weasel

I think this had happened overnight when the animal was trying to jump
between buildings/trees - but was unsuccessful on the occasion =(
Anyway, I got it stuffed and preserved (just like hunters do with
their trophy) and left it on the garage to dry out. When I went
outside the next day there were virtually no birds in the area. I also
heard lots of bird screamings that morning. I still occasionally leave
it outside when sh&t problem gets worse.

Mike


That's an interesting idea - all I need now is a dead Hawk or Weasel -
I'll have a look on eBay :-)

Reminds me of a story ... how do you tell the difference between a
weasel and a stoat?
..... A Weasel is weasily recognised and a Stoat is stotally different.

Sorry, I'll get my coat ;-)

NoSpam wrote:
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is
worse than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon (can't chop the tree
down, can't build a car port, and the neighbours wouldn't let me use a
shotgun) so I need to find a way of getting the stuff off every day.

Very occasionally a wipe with a damp rag works but usually I need to
resort to scraping, and it's only a matter of time until I damage the
paintwork. Is there any product available that will get the stuff off
without damaging the paint?

The techincal term is guano.

Peter Crosland

Peter Crosland wrote:
NoSpam wrote:
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is
worse than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon (can't chop the tree
down, can't build a car port, and the neighbours wouldn't let me use a
shotgun) so I need to find a way of getting the stuff off every day.

Very occasionally a wipe with a damp rag works but usually I need to
resort to scraping, and it's only a matter of time until I damage the
paintwork. Is there any product available that will get the stuff off
without damaging the paint?

The techincal term is guano.

Peter Crosland


I knew that from a childhood watching a black and white David
Attenborough standing on hills of Bat sh1t, talking about the smell of
the guano. But I hadn't heard of a techincal before :-)

In article ,
NoSpam wrote:
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is
worse than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon (can't chop the tree
down, can't build a car port, and the neighbours wouldn't let me use a
shotgun) so I need to find a way of getting the stuff off every day.

Very occasionally a wipe with a damp rag works but usually I need to
resort to scraping, and it's only a matter of time until I damage the
paintwork. Is there any product available that will get the stuff off
without damaging the paint?

I've not found anything better than soaking it with water and detergent.
Of course the best thing is not to let it set too much.

--
*He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, dead.

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

In message , NoSpam
writes
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is
worse than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon (can't chop the tree
down, can't build a car port, and the neighbours wouldn't let me use a
shotgun) so I need to find a way of getting the stuff off every day.

Very occasionally a wipe with a damp rag works but usually I need to
resort to scraping, and it's only a matter of time until I damage the
paintwork. Is there any product available that will get the stuff off
without damaging the paint?

Dave

Use a car cover?

But you then end up with several sq whatevers of ****-covered fabric.
Swings & Roundabouts.
--
Peter

Ying tong iddle-i po!

In message , "Dave Plowman (News)"
wrote
In article ,
NoSpam wrote:
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is
worse than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon (can't chop the tree
down, can't build a car port, and the neighbours wouldn't let me use a
shotgun) so I need to find a way of getting the stuff off every day.

Very occasionally a wipe with a damp rag works but usually I need to
resort to scraping, and it's only a matter of time until I damage the
paintwork. Is there any product available that will get the stuff off
without damaging the paint?

I've not found anything better than soaking it with water and detergent.
Of course the best thing is not to let it set too much.


Instead of scrapping just leave a wet cloth on the dried **** for 10
minutes. Cloth baby wipes, with an additional soaking in water, work
well.

--
Alan
news2006 {at} amac {dot} f2s {dot} com

"NoSpam" wrote in message
...
wrote:
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is
worse
than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon

I once had the same problem. I found the solution by accident. I
walked outside the house the other day and found a dead weasel, it was
similar to:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weasel

I think this had happened overnight when the animal was trying to jump
between buildings/trees - but was unsuccessful on the occasion =(
Anyway, I got it stuffed and preserved (just like hunters do with
their trophy) and left it on the garage to dry out. When I went
outside the next day there were virtually no birds in the area. I also
heard lots of bird screamings that morning. I still occasionally leave
it outside when sh&t problem gets worse.

Mike


That's an interesting idea - all I need now is a dead Hawk or Weasel -
I'll have a look on eBay :-)

Reminds me of a story ... how do you tell the difference between a weasel
and a stoat?
.... A Weasel is weasily recognised and a Stoat is stotally different.

Sorry, I'll get my coat ;-)

Given that bird poo tends vary according to what they've been eating, how
about putting out food for the birds that has treated with food colouring to
match the colour of your paintwork?

NoSpam wrote:
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is
worse than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon (can't chop the tree
down, can't build a car port, and the neighbours wouldn't let me use a
shotgun) so I need to find a way of getting the stuff off every day.

Very occasionally a wipe with a damp rag works but usually I need to
resort to scraping, and it's only a matter of time until I damage the
paintwork. Is there any product available that will get the stuff off
without damaging the paint?

Microfibre cloth.


--
Dave
The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk
01634 717930
07850 597257

On May 24, 1:57 pm, NoSpam wrote:
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is
worse than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon (can't chop the tree
down, can't build a car port, and the neighbours wouldn't let me use a
shotgun) so I need to find a way of getting the stuff off every day.

Very occasionally a wipe with a damp rag works but usually I need to
resort to scraping, and it's only a matter of time until I damage the
paintwork. Is there any product available that will get the stuff off
without damaging the paint?

Warm soapy water works fine, provided you don't let the mess dry hard
(during which time it will also attack the paintwork). If you really
have no choice over your parking spot, it'd be worth spending a bit of
time upping the protection on your paintwork - the better that is, the
easier it will be to remove bird crap with just plain water. A couple
of coats of Autoglym's protective coat on top of a decent polish will
last a while.

--
"Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?"

"NoSpam" wrote in message
...
We have to park under a tree and this year the bird sh1t problem is worse
than usual. I can't avoid being sh@t upon (can't chop the tree down, can't
build a car port, and the neighbours wouldn't let me use a shotgun) so I
need to find a way of getting the stuff off every day.

Very occasionally a wipe with a damp rag works but usually I need to
resort to scraping, and it's only a matter of time until I damage the
paintwork. Is there any product available that will get the stuff off
without damaging the paint?

1 Angle grinder
2 Shotblast
or failing that

I have heard that an Alka Seltzer tablet left on the droppings and gently
watered fizzes the **** off.

Try hanging old CDs on the branches instead.....Pretty and scares the
birds...