Copied from another group:


*“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old. You always feel
like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet
and nothing comes out!”

“Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you
can’t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the
toilet all day and nothin’ comes out!”

“Actually,” said the 80-year-old, “Eighty is the worst age of all.”

“Do you have trouble peeing too?” asked the 60-year- old.

“No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse
on a flat rock; no problem at all.”

“Do you have trouble crapping?” “No, I crap every morning at 6:30.”

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, “Let me get this
straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at
6:30. So what’s so tough about being 80?”

“I don’t wake up until 7:00.”

On Wed, 08 Dec 2010 21:44:37 -0600, Dean Hoffman
wrote:

Copied from another group:


*“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old. You always feel
like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet
and nothing comes out!”

“Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you
can’t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the
toilet all day and nothin’ comes out!”

“Actually,” said the 80-year-old, “Eighty is the worst age of all.”

“Do you have trouble peeing too?” asked the 60-year- old.

“No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse
on a flat rock; no problem at all.”

“Do you have trouble crapping?” “No, I crap every morning at 6:30.”

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, “Let me get this
straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at
6:30. So what’s so tough about being 80?”

“I don’t wake up until 7:00.”

Ah, I'm a bit short of 60 but it's nice to have something to look
forward to.

On Dec 8, 9:44*pm, Dean Hoffman wrote:
* *Copied from another group:

* Sixty is the worst age to be, said the 60-year-old. You always feel
like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet
and nothing comes out!

Ah, that s nothin , said the 70-year-old. When you re seventy, you
can t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the
toilet all day and nothin comes out!

Actually, said the 80-year-old, Eighty is the worst age of all.

Do you have trouble peeing too? asked the 60-year- old.

No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse
on a flat rock; no problem at all.

Do you have trouble crapping? No, I crap every morning at 6:30.

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, Let me get this
straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at
6:30. So what s so tough about being 80?

I don t wake up until 7:00.

Perhaps the 70 year old should look into Bowell cleansing (Mucoid
plaque removal)
http://www.google.com/images?hl=&rlz...w=1512&bih=796

On Dec 9, 7:35*am, Eric in North TX wrote:
On Dec 8, 9:44*pm, Dean Hoffman wrote:



* *Copied from another group:

* Sixty is the worst age to be, said the 60-year-old. You always feel
like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet
and nothing comes out!

Ah, that s nothin , said the 70-year-old. When you re seventy, you
can t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the
toilet all day and nothin comes out!

Actually, said the 80-year-old, Eighty is the worst age of all.

Do you have trouble peeing too? asked the 60-year- old.

No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse
on a flat rock; no problem at all.

Do you have trouble crapping? No, I crap every morning at 6:30.

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, Let me get this
straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at
6:30. So what s so tough about being 80?

I don t wake up until 7:00.

Perhaps the 70 year old should look into Bowell cleansing (Mucoid
plaque removal)http://www.google.com/images?hl=&rlz...ures&um=1&ie=U...

==
Why would anyone want to clean ones bowel? Its self-cleaning most of
the time. Mother nature never intended for artificial cleansing of
one's excretory system. Never mind the mucoid plaque...that is
bull****.

==

On Thu, 9 Dec 2010 08:26:54 -0800 (PST), Roy
wrote:

==
Why would anyone want to clean ones bowel? Its self-cleaning most of
the time. Mother nature never intended for artificial cleansing of
one's excretory system. Never mind the mucoid plaque...that is
bull****.


There's an incredibly stupid commercial with somebody called something
like the "bowel lady."
I flip away when ever it comes on.
You're right about bull****. Plaque? Next they'll be selling bowel
floss so you can floss your ass.
Just eat what makes you **** normal, that's all.

--Vic

On 12/9/2010 8:50 AM, dgk wrote:
On Wed, 08 Dec 2010 21:44:37 -0600, Dean Hoffman
wrote:

Copied from another group:


*“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old. You always feel
like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet
and nothing comes out!”

“Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you
can’t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the
toilet all day and nothin’ comes out!”

“Actually,” said the 80-year-old, “Eighty is the worst age of all.”

“Do you have trouble peeing too?” asked the 60-year- old.

“No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse
on a flat rock; no problem at all.”

“Do you have trouble crapping?” “No, I crap every morning at 6:30.”

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, “Let me get this
straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at
6:30. So what’s so tough about being 80?”

“I don’t wake up until 7:00.”

Ah, I'm a bit short of 60 but it's nice to have something to look
forward to.

Look on the bright side....if those troubles come along, you will need
someone to play with your parts to get them working. With a little
luck, they won't be escaped cons or perverts )

On 12/9/2010 4:15 PM, Vic Smith wrote:
On Thu, 9 Dec 2010 08:26:54 -0800 (PST),
wrote:

==
Why would anyone want to clean ones bowel? Its self-cleaning most of
the time. Mother nature never intended for artificial cleansing of
one's excretory system. Never mind the mucoid plaque...that is
bull****.


There's an incredibly stupid commercial with somebody called something
like the "bowel lady."
I flip away when ever it comes on.
You're right about bull****. Plaque? Next they'll be selling bowel
floss so you can floss your ass.
Just eat what makes you **** normal, that's all.

--Vic

I had a neighbor who talked about colonic cleansing - removing "toxins",
etc. I've been intimately familiar with quite a few colons and their
cleansing needs as a nurse, but plaque? My neighbor had s--- for
brains, so perhaps the s--- was floating above the plaque. He used to
mention that he didn't wear underwear, too. I didn't keep his company
by choice )

On Dec 9, 8:26*am, Roy wrote:
On Dec 9, 7:35*am, Eric in North TX wrote:



On Dec 8, 9:44*pm, Dean Hoffman wrote:

* *Copied from another group:

* Sixty is the worst age to be, said the 60-year-old. You always feel
like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet
and nothing comes out!

Ah, that s nothin , said the 70-year-old. When you re seventy, you
can t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the
toilet all day and nothin comes out!

Actually, said the 80-year-old, Eighty is the worst age of all.

Do you have trouble peeing too? asked the 60-year- old.

No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse
on a flat rock; no problem at all.

Do you have trouble crapping? No, I crap every morning at 6:30.

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, Let me get this
straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at
6:30. So what s so tough about being 80?

I don t wake up until 7:00.

Perhaps the 70 year old should look into Bowell cleansing (Mucoid
plaque removal)http://www.google.com/images?hl=&rlz...ures&um=1&ie=U...

==
Why would anyone want to clean ones bowel? Its self-cleaning most of
the time. Mother nature never intended for artificial cleansing of
one's excretory system. Never mind the mucoid plaque...that is
bull****.

==

Down, boy! You're questioning the American Way of selling anything to
the Useful Idiots. Go into a bookstore and check out the wall (or
walls) of self-help books. Sometimes I think the people who buy these
books have too much time/money on their hands.

HB

On 12/9/2010 7:45 PM, The Daring Dufas wrote:
On 12/9/2010 6:33 PM, wrote:
On Dec 9, 5:41 pm,
wrote:
On 12/9/2010 4:15 PM, Vic Smith wrote:





On Thu, 9 Dec 2010 08:26:54 -0800 (PST),
wrote:

==
Why would anyone want to clean ones bowel? Its self-cleaning most of
the time. Mother nature never intended for artificial cleansing of
one's excretory system. Never mind the mucoid plaque...that is
bull****.

There's an incredibly stupid commercial with somebody called something
like the "bowel lady."
I flip away when ever it comes on.
You're right about bull****. Plaque? Next they'll be selling bowel
floss so you can floss your ass.
Just eat what makes you **** normal, that's all.

--Vic

I had a neighbor who talked about colonic cleansing - removing "toxins",
etc. I've been intimately familiar with quite a few colons and their
cleansing needs as a nurse, but plaque? My neighbor had s--- for
brains, so perhaps the s--- was floating above the plaque. He used to
mention that he didn't wear underwear, too. I didn't keep his company
by choice )- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

fleet phospho soda a tiny bottle will clean anyone totally out.

i had to take it before weight loss surgery 9 years ago, which worked
great.

stay very close tob toilet, fleet phospho costs under 3 bucks

drink lots of water the fast exit can dehydrate you

My roommate has the remainder of a gallon of Go-Lightly in the fridge.
He wasn't able to drink the whole gallon but what he was able to down,
turned him in to a jet boat. This was of course prior to having one
of those butt-O-scopes shoved up his tailpipe by doctors doing an
inspection of his bioreactor column. :-)

TDD

That stuff is lethal. I'd rather die of colon cancer than die of
explosive exhaust syndrome )

Our dog was hit by a car and had a fractured pelvis. He went a while
without a BM, so vet prescribed a pediatric Fleet enema - didn't take
much and worked in seconds. He also was disinclined to go potty in the
house. We kept him in a mesh playpen for comfort and observation, as he
couldn't move very well. The vet kept him overnight, to make sure he
could pee and poop and then we brought him home in a comfy laundry
basket. Two of us lifted him carefully out of the basket and onto the
lawn to let him go before taking him into the house. No pee. Took him
in and placed him carefully into the playpen...I could feel his broken
bones moving when we lifted him. After about 5 minutes, he JUMPED over
the side of the playpen and peed on the floor. He was home, figured
he'd be forgiven. During his rehab, I fed him per the same protocol for
people with fractures - high protein, high calorie diet. He ate twice
the normal amount and maintained the same weight. After seeing his
xrays, I didn't expect him to recover but he certainly did. His pelvis
on xrays looked like broken glass - shattered to pieces. Being a nurse
has been handy - avoid seeing doctors, gave CPR to inlaws' newborn
puppy, avoided the usual long-term medication prescriptions to treat
normal life conditions )

On 12/9/2010 10:26 AM, Roy wrote:
On Dec 9, 7:35 am, Eric in North wrote:
On Dec 8, 9:44 pm, Dean wrote:



Copied from another group:

* Sixty is the worst age to be, said the 60-year-old. You always feel
like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet
and nothing comes out!

Ah, that s nothin , said the 70-year-old. When you re seventy, you
can t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the
toilet all day and nothin comes out!

Actually, said the 80-year-old, Eighty is the worst age of all.

Do you have trouble peeing too? asked the 60-year- old.

No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse
on a flat rock; no problem at all.

Do you have trouble crapping? No, I crap every morning at 6:30.

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, Let me get this
straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at
6:30. So what s so tough about being 80?

I don t wake up until 7:00.

Perhaps the 70 year old should look into Bowell cleansing (Mucoid
plaque removal)http://www.google.com/images?hl=&rlz...ures&um=1&ie=U...

==
Why would anyone want to clean ones bowel? Its self-cleaning most of
the time. Mother nature never intended for artificial cleansing of
one's excretory system. Never mind the mucoid plaque...that is
bull****.

==

I'm sure that my distant ancestors "The Cavebillies and Cave Wops" would
often eat something they clubbed to death that may not have
agreed with their digestive system resulting in a natural cleansing.
In nature, a lot of critters will eat spoiled fruit and wind up drunk,
so why wouldn't there be something they would eat to clean out their
digestive tract when the critter felt the need? Then again, critters
and my distant ancestors didn't live that long anyway. :-)

TDD

clipped

I'm sure that my distant ancestors "The Cavebillies and Cave Wops" would
often eat something they clubbed to death that may not have
agreed with their digestive system resulting in a natural cleansing.
In nature, a lot of critters will eat spoiled fruit and wind up drunk,
so why wouldn't there be something they would eat to clean out their
digestive tract when the critter felt the need? Then again, critters
and my distant ancestors didn't live that long anyway. :-)

TDD

At least in recorded history, there have been loads of people who lived
to advanced age. The trick in life expectancy is the "average" - with
25% infant mortality, it cut down the average and makes one think nobody
made it to middle age. One of my ancestors in Mass. is listed in the
county history among the oldest residents - there was a bunch in their
high eighties and nineties. I've read about theories attributing cave
paintings to some spiritual expression. Nonsense. It might have been
simply how the folks taught their children, especially without spoken
language. Gotta prep the yung 'uns about the bad stuff before you let
them out to hunt game.

As for stuff disagreeing with the digestive system, the gag reflex was
probably discovered early on. I doubt that the early populations had
any requirement to cleanse - they didn't eat Twinkies, pizza and fries
and then go home and lie out on the sofa all day.

On 12/10/2010 8:14 AM, wrote:
clipped

I'm sure that my distant ancestors "The Cavebillies and Cave Wops" would
often eat something they clubbed to death that may not have
agreed with their digestive system resulting in a natural cleansing.
In nature, a lot of critters will eat spoiled fruit and wind up drunk,
so why wouldn't there be something they would eat to clean out their
digestive tract when the critter felt the need? Then again, critters
and my distant ancestors didn't live that long anyway. :-)

TDD

At least in recorded history, there have been loads of people who lived
to advanced age. The trick in life expectancy is the "average" - with
25% infant mortality, it cut down the average and makes one think nobody
made it to middle age. One of my ancestors in Mass. is listed in the
county history among the oldest residents - there was a bunch in their
high eighties and nineties. I've read about theories attributing cave
paintings to some spiritual expression. Nonsense. It might have been
simply how the folks taught their children, especially without spoken
language. Gotta prep the yung 'uns about the bad stuff before you let
them out to hunt game.

As for stuff disagreeing with the digestive system, the gag reflex was
probably discovered early on. I doubt that the early populations had any
requirement to cleanse - they didn't eat Twinkies, pizza and fries and
then go home and lie out on the sofa all day.

Yea but, dino nuggets from the drag thru window might have disagreed
with some of my distant ancestors. :-)

TDD

clipped

Yea but, dino nuggets from the drag thru window might have disagreed
with some of my distant ancestors. :-)

TDD

Dino nuggets? The first "food processor"? Early sushi?

" wrote in
:

On Dec 9, 5:41*pm, "
wrote:
On 12/9/2010 4:15 PM, Vic Smith wrote:





On Thu, 9 Dec 2010 08:26:54 -0800 (PST),
wrote:

=
Why would anyone want to clean ones bowel? Its self-cleaning most
of the time. Mother nature never intended for artificial cleansing
of one's excretory system. Never mind the mucoid plaque...that is
bull****.

There's an incredibly stupid commercial with somebody called
something like the "bowel lady."
I flip away when ever it comes on.
You're right about bull****. *Plaque? Next they'll be selling bowel
floss so you can floss your ass.
Just eat what makes you **** normal, that's all.

--Vic

I had a neighbor who talked about colonic cleansing - removing
"toxins", etc. *I've been intimately familiar with quite a few colons
and their cleansing needs as a nurse, but plaque? *My neighbor had
s--- for brains, so perhaps the s--- was floating above the plaque.
*He used to mention that he didn't wear underwear, too. *I didn't
keep his company by choice )- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

fleet phospho soda a tiny bottle will clean anyone totally out.

That's what I had to take before my butt-O-scope. Much rather take a
small thing of that vs what I saw others told to take - 25-50 pills, a
gallon of some mix, etc

For those who have not had one yet, It's nothing. They reach for the
knob on the IV and next you are waking up in post procedure room. Pics
they show you are gross.


i had to take it before weight loss surgery 9 years ago, which worked
great.

stay very close tob toilet, fleet phospho costs under 3 bucks

drink lots of water the fast exit can dehydrate you

On Dec 10, 4:12*pm, Red Green wrote:
" wrote :





On Dec 9, 5:41 pm, "
wrote:
On 12/9/2010 4:15 PM, Vic Smith wrote:

On Thu, 9 Dec 2010 08:26:54 -0800 (PST),
wrote:

=
Why would anyone want to clean ones bowel? Its self-cleaning most
of the time. Mother nature never intended for artificial cleansing
of one's excretory system. Never mind the mucoid plaque...that is
bull****.

There's an incredibly stupid commercial with somebody called
something like the "bowel lady."
I flip away when ever it comes on.
You're right about bull****. Plaque? Next they'll be selling bowel
floss so you can floss your ass.
Just eat what makes you **** normal, that's all.

--Vic

I had a neighbor who talked about colonic cleansing - removing
"toxins", etc. I've been intimately familiar with quite a few colons
and their cleansing needs as a nurse, but plaque? My neighbor had
s--- for brains, so perhaps the s--- was floating above the plaque.
He used to mention that he didn't wear underwear, too. I didn't
keep his company by choice )- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

fleet phospho soda a tiny bottle will clean anyone totally out.

That's what I had to take before my butt-O-scope. Much rather take a
small thing of that vs what I saw others told to take - 25-50 pills, a
gallon of some mix, etc

For those who have not had one yet, It's nothing. They reach for the
knob on the IV and next you are waking up in post procedure room. Pics
they show you are gross.





i had to take it before weight loss surgery 9 years ago, which worked
great.

stay very close tob toilet, fleet phospho costs under 3 bucks

drink lots of water the fast exit can dehydrate you- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Yeah, but they just might save your life!!!

wrote in message
m...
clipped

I'm sure that my distant ancestors "The Cavebillies and Cave Wops" would
often eat something they clubbed to death that may not have
agreed with their digestive system resulting in a natural cleansing.
In nature, a lot of critters will eat spoiled fruit and wind up drunk,
so why wouldn't there be something they would eat to clean out their
digestive tract when the critter felt the need? Then again, critters
and my distant ancestors didn't live that long anyway. :-)

TDD

At least in recorded history, there have been loads of people who lived to
advanced age. The trick in life expectancy is the "average" - with 25%
infant mortality, it cut down the average and makes one think nobody made
it to middle age. One of my ancestors in Mass. is listed in the county
history among the oldest residents - there was a bunch in their high
eighties and nineties.

Yeah, a local cemetery lists a resident who was born in 1799 and died in
1901, he lived to a good old age.