wrote:

Uh, the Harris County Sheriff's Academy (Houston). I was a cop
during the time I went to law school. Finally decided that neither
vocation was suitable (cops have no friends and lawyers have nothing
but enemies).

Too many bullies in LE, not enough in the practice of law )

Uh, yeah. Most cops, though, are Boy Scouts with guns, genuinely trying to
do a good turn daily. It's mighty discouraging sometimes.

Cop: "Okay, listen up, asshole. You touch that woman again and you're going
to have ME to deal with! You got that straight?"
Mope: "You've go to be kidding. When I get her home, I'm gonna beat her so
bad she won't even be able to lay down!"

HeyBub wrote:
wrote:
Uh, the Harris County Sheriff's Academy (Houston). I was a cop
during the time I went to law school. Finally decided that neither
vocation was suitable (cops have no friends and lawyers have nothing
but enemies).
Too many bullies in LE, not enough in the practice of law )

Uh, yeah. Most cops, though, are Boy Scouts with guns, genuinely trying to
do a good turn daily. It's mighty discouraging sometimes.

Cop: "Okay, listen up, asshole. You touch that woman again and you're going
to have ME to deal with! You got that straight?"
Mope: "You've go to be kidding. When I get her home, I'm gonna beat her so
bad she won't even be able to lay down!"



If the mope is a cop, and the cop cop is friendly to the mope cop, that
suggests a problem situation. The mope cop, of course, is card carrying
NRA member in good standing and also carrying concealed weapon )

HeyBub wrote:
wrote:
Uh, the Harris County Sheriff's Academy (Houston). I was a cop
during the time I went to law school. Finally decided that neither
vocation was suitable (cops have no friends and lawyers have nothing
but enemies).
Too many bullies in LE, not enough in the practice of law )

Uh, yeah. Most cops, though, are Boy Scouts with guns, genuinely trying to
do a good turn daily. It's mighty discouraging sometimes.

Boy scouts with guns? Are you joshing? If they ever were boy scouts,
it was when they were young enough to be forced by their parents to
join. Boy scouts? I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type...and I've
heard all of the stories about copper bars, including the one where some
poor sucker tried an armed robbery )

Cop: "Okay, listen up, asshole. You touch that woman again and you're going
to have ME to deal with! You got that straight?"
Mope: "You've go to be kidding. When I get her home, I'm gonna beat her so
bad she won't even be able to lay down!"

wrote:

Boy scouts with guns? Are you joshing? If they ever were boy scouts,
it was when they were young enough to be forced by their parents to
join. Boy scouts? I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type...and I've
heard all of the stories about copper bars, including the one where
some poor sucker tried an armed robbery )


I've been both. Almost all the calls we take are "after the fact" (residence
burglaries, stolen cars, malicious mischief, naked woman in a tree). In
these cases the victim is upset and feels violated. In many situations they
are afraid. Sometimes they are angry.

They need help in securing their remaining property, advice on how to
prevent a reoccurrence, referral to appropriate agencies, a call to a
relative or neighbor, or, most often, a sympathetic ear. I've spliced
telephone wires back together, hammered boards over broken windows, and all
manner of little things to assuage the victim's panic.

One of my most effective lines was: "I'm on your side. If it were up to me,
I'd loan you my gun."

The events you "hear about" are the exceptions. Police work is really
"months of boredom punctuated by a few brief seconds of terror." You don't
"hear about" the beat cop starting off his shift by making 16 residence
burglary reports, just like you don't have TV specials about the
firefighters spending five days in a row waxing their equipment because
nothing caught fire.

Fortunately, humans are funny. If you stress 'em a bit - such that their
facade of respectability vanishes - they get even funnier. Ask any cop,
firefighter, paramedic, or emergency room worker to tell you stories ("Uh, I
didn't know you was the fuzz. I thought youz was just a couple of ordinary
turds" [Whap! Whap!] ).

"HeyBub" wrote in message
...
wrote:

Boy scouts with guns? Are you joshing? If they ever were boy scouts,
it was when they were young enough to be forced by their parents to
join. Boy scouts? I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type...and I've
heard all of the stories about copper bars, including the one where
some poor sucker tried an armed robbery )


I've been both. Almost all the calls we take are "after the fact"
(residence burglaries, stolen cars, malicious mischief, naked woman in a
tree). In these cases the victim is upset and feels violated. In many
situations they are afraid. Sometimes they are angry.

They need help in securing their remaining property, advice on how to
prevent a reoccurrence, referral to appropriate agencies, a call to a
relative or neighbor, or, most often, a sympathetic ear. I've spliced
telephone wires back together, hammered boards over broken windows, and
all manner of little things to assuage the victim's panic.

One of my most effective lines was: "I'm on your side. If it were up to
me, I'd loan you my gun."

The events you "hear about" are the exceptions. Police work is really
"months of boredom punctuated by a few brief seconds of terror." You don't
"hear about" the beat cop starting off his shift by making 16 residence
burglary reports, just like you don't have TV specials about the
firefighters spending five days in a row waxing their equipment because
nothing caught fire.

Fortunately, humans are funny. If you stress 'em a bit - such that their
facade of respectability vanishes - they get even funnier. Ask any cop,
firefighter, paramedic, or emergency room worker to tell you stories ("Uh,
I didn't know you was the fuzz. I thought youz was just a couple of
ordinary turds" [Whap! Whap!] ).

Tell me, please, that you are NOT a police officer .............

Steve B wrote:
"HeyBub" wrote in message
...
wrote:

Boy scouts with guns? Are you joshing? If they ever were boy
scouts, it was when they were young enough to be forced by their
parents to join. Boy scouts? I'm laughing so hard I can hardly
type...and I've heard all of the stories about copper bars,
including the one where some poor sucker tried an armed robbery )


I've been both. Almost all the calls we take are "after the fact"
(residence burglaries, stolen cars, malicious mischief, naked woman
in a tree). In these cases the victim is upset and feels violated.
In many situations they are afraid. Sometimes they are angry.

They need help in securing their remaining property, advice on how to
prevent a reoccurrence, referral to appropriate agencies, a call to a
relative or neighbor, or, most often, a sympathetic ear. I've spliced
telephone wires back together, hammered boards over broken windows,
and all manner of little things to assuage the victim's panic.

One of my most effective lines was: "I'm on your side. If it were up
to me, I'd loan you my gun."

The events you "hear about" are the exceptions. Police work is really
"months of boredom punctuated by a few brief seconds of terror." You
don't "hear about" the beat cop starting off his shift by making 16
residence burglary reports, just like you don't have TV specials
about the firefighters spending five days in a row waxing their
equipment because nothing caught fire.

Fortunately, humans are funny. If you stress 'em a bit - such that
their facade of respectability vanishes - they get even funnier. Ask
any cop, firefighter, paramedic, or emergency room worker to tell
you stories ("Uh, I didn't know you was the fuzz. I thought youz was
just a couple of ordinary turds" [Whap! Whap!] ).

Tell me, please, that you are NOT a police officer .............

I'm not. Used to be. Imagine, two hours after the shift ends at 1:00 a.m.
and I've still got five reports to write. Dude walks into the detective
office:

Me: "May I help you?"
Mope: "I want to give myself up."
Me: "What did you do?"
Mope: "I escaped."
Me: "Escaped from what?"
Mope: "The Georgia State Hospital for the Criminally Insane."
Me: "Sorry, you've done come to the wrong place. Walk out the front door of
this building, turn left, go two blocks to 1610 Texas Avenue. They'll fix
you up."
Mope: "Thank you. I appreciate it."
(Mope leaves)
(Partner wakes up)
Partner: "What the ****'s at 1610 Texas Avenue?"
Me: "The Greyhound Bus station."
Partner: "Good call."
(Partner goes back to sleep)

On Jul 1, 5:38*pm, "Steve B" wrote:
"HeyBub" wrote in message

...





wrote:

Boy scouts with guns? *Are you joshing? *If they ever were boy scouts,
it was when they were young enough to be forced by their parents to
join. *Boy scouts? *I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type...and I've
heard all of the stories about copper bars, including the one where
some poor sucker tried an armed robbery )

I've been both. Almost all the calls we take are "after the fact"
(residence burglaries, stolen cars, malicious mischief, naked woman in a
tree). In these cases the victim is upset and feels violated. In many
situations they are afraid. Sometimes they are angry.

They need help in securing their remaining property, advice on how to
prevent a reoccurrence, referral to appropriate agencies, a call to a
relative or neighbor, or, most often, a sympathetic ear. I've spliced
telephone wires back together, hammered boards over broken windows, and
all manner of little things to assuage the victim's panic.

One of my most effective lines was: "I'm on your side. If it were up to
me, I'd loan you my gun."

The events you "hear about" are the exceptions. Police work is really
"months of boredom punctuated by a few brief seconds of terror." You don't
"hear about" the beat cop starting off his shift by making 16 residence
burglary reports, just like you don't have TV specials about the
firefighters spending five days in a row waxing their equipment because
nothing caught fire.

Fortunately, humans are funny. If you stress 'em a bit - such that their
facade of respectability vanishes - they get even funnier. Ask any cop,
firefighter, paramedic, or emergency room worker to tell you stories ("Uh,
I didn't know you was the fuzz. I thought youz was just a couple of
ordinary turds" [Whap! Whap!] ).

Tell me, please, that you are NOT a police officer .............- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Clearly he was thrown out...........

In article ,
"HeyBub" wrote:

Mope: "Thank you. I appreciate it."
(Mope leaves)
(Partner wakes up)
Partner: "What the ****'s at 1610 Texas Avenue?"
Me: "The Greyhound Bus station."
Partner: "Good call."
(Partner goes back to sleep)

And if my past experience is any indication, he ended up in Indy. We
are net importer of schizophrenics and bipolar patients.
Kurt's 4th rule of creative psychiatry: Schizophrenics come from the
bus station, bipolars from the airport.

--
I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator
and name it after the IRS.
Robert Bakker, paleontologist

Kurt Ullman wrote:
In article ,
"HeyBub" wrote:

Mope: "Thank you. I appreciate it."
(Mope leaves)
(Partner wakes up)
Partner: "What the ****'s at 1610 Texas Avenue?"
Me: "The Greyhound Bus station."
Partner: "Good call."
(Partner goes back to sleep)

And if my past experience is any indication, he ended up in Indy. We
are net importer of schizophrenics and bipolar patients.
Kurt's 4th rule of creative psychiatry: Schizophrenics come from the
bus station, bipolars from the airport.

My experience with schizophrenics show they LIVE at the bus station. I've
only had one interlude with a manic-depressive:


On a second date with a lovely lady a bit back, I found myself sitting on
her couch while she skinned another muskrat (or whatever women do when they
say 'I'll be ready in just a minute') when suddenly there's this screech
from the bedroom: "That goddamn George Bush should learn some history!"
(evidently she was monitoring the evening news).

"Uh, he has a degree from Yale," I volunteered. "In history."

"That's a goddamn lie!" came back the reasoned retort.

[tappity-tap-tap on her computer]

"Ah, here it is," I announced. "He also has an MBA from Harvard."

By new she's standing behind me and, with clenched fists, hissed "The
****in' Republicans have taken over the internet!"

Thinking quickly, I concocted a complicated, but believable, excuse for
leaving. "I have to go."

Still, I learned two important life lessons from that encounter:

1. Google is not always your friend, and
2. Don't date an unmedicated manic-depressive (bipolar).

In article ,
"HeyBub" wrote:


1. Google is not always your friend, and
2. Don't date an unmedicated manic-depressive (bipolar).

Unless they are in their sexually preoccupied stage, but that too can
be dangerous. Just in a more satisfying way.
Manics were always my favorite patients. They are such a hoot.
Until they cycle back through the other way...

--
I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator
and name it after the IRS.
Robert Bakker, paleontologist

"HeyBub" wrote in message
m...
Steve B wrote:
"HeyBub" wrote in message
...
wrote:

Boy scouts with guns? Are you joshing? If they ever were boy
scouts, it was when they were young enough to be forced by their
parents to join. Boy scouts? I'm laughing so hard I can hardly
type...and I've heard all of the stories about copper bars,
including the one where some poor sucker tried an armed robbery )


I've been both. Almost all the calls we take are "after the fact"
(residence burglaries, stolen cars, malicious mischief, naked woman
in a tree). In these cases the victim is upset and feels violated.
In many situations they are afraid. Sometimes they are angry.

They need help in securing their remaining property, advice on how to
prevent a reoccurrence, referral to appropriate agencies, a call to a
relative or neighbor, or, most often, a sympathetic ear. I've spliced
telephone wires back together, hammered boards over broken windows,
and all manner of little things to assuage the victim's panic.

One of my most effective lines was: "I'm on your side. If it were up
to me, I'd loan you my gun."

The events you "hear about" are the exceptions. Police work is really
"months of boredom punctuated by a few brief seconds of terror." You
don't "hear about" the beat cop starting off his shift by making 16
residence burglary reports, just like you don't have TV specials
about the firefighters spending five days in a row waxing their
equipment because nothing caught fire.

Fortunately, humans are funny. If you stress 'em a bit - such that
their facade of respectability vanishes - they get even funnier. Ask
any cop, firefighter, paramedic, or emergency room worker to tell
you stories ("Uh, I didn't know you was the fuzz. I thought youz was
just a couple of ordinary turds" [Whap! Whap!] ).

Tell me, please, that you are NOT a police officer .............

I'm not. Used to be. Imagine, two hours after the shift ends at 1:00 a.m.
and I've still got five reports to write. Dude walks into the detective
office:

Me: "May I help you?"
Mope: "I want to give myself up."
Me: "What did you do?"
Mope: "I escaped."
Me: "Escaped from what?"
Mope: "The Georgia State Hospital for the Criminally Insane."
Me: "Sorry, you've done come to the wrong place. Walk out the front door
of this building, turn left, go two blocks to 1610 Texas Avenue. They'll
fix you up."
Mope: "Thank you. I appreciate it."
(Mope leaves)
(Partner wakes up)
Partner: "What the ****'s at 1610 Texas Avenue?"
Me: "The Greyhound Bus station."
Partner: "Good call."
(Partner goes back to sleep)

I rest my case. You've said it all.

Steve

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