I have a huge problem. I have a warp reactor installed in the basement
of my house, which is powered by a quantum singularity. Unfortunately,
my quantum computer crashed last night, setting fire and that
caused temporal anomalies, you know, this happens when you
have a quantum singularity in your house.

Now, these anomalies affected time and space and now time and matter
are corrupted. That means, a part of my house was "aged" for
thousands of years, but other parts haven't been built yet.

How can I repair that???

On Oct 9, 6:36 pm, Victor Smootbank wrote:
How can I repair that???

spackle

nah, scratch that, duct tape should work fine.

Victor Smootbank wrote:
I have a huge problem. I have a warp reactor installed in the basement
of my house, which is powered by a quantum singularity. Unfortunately,
my quantum computer crashed last night, setting fire and that
caused temporal anomalies, you know, this happens when you
have a quantum singularity in your house.

Now, these anomalies affected time and space and now time and matter
are corrupted. That means, a part of my house was "aged" for
thousands of years, but other parts haven't been built yet.

How can I repair that???


I have a friend who is a Romulan scientist, his people use
that technology. I'll send him an encrypted subspace message
through a couple of obfuscating relays and ask him for some
help. We have to keep it on the QT because of strained relations
between our planets. You could always send a request through
their ambassador to Earth, Sam Donaldson. Good Luck.

TDD

Victor Smootbank wrote:
I have a huge problem. I have a warp reactor installed in the basement
of my house, which is powered by a quantum singularity. Unfortunately,
my quantum computer crashed last night, setting fire and that
caused temporal anomalies, you know, this happens when you
have a quantum singularity in your house.

Now, these anomalies affected time and space and now time and matter
are corrupted. That means, a part of my house was "aged" for
thousands of years, but other parts haven't been built yet.

How can I repair that???

1. Set the kitchen timer for 55 minutes.
2. Run around waving your hands until the timer dings.
3. Pick anything in the house which has an output: microwave oven, light
bulb, box fan, aquarium pump - doesn't really matter.
4. Invert the output and bounce it off your satellite TV dish.
5. Roll credits.

Tater wrote in news:1191974543.416647.167650@
19g2000hsx.googlegroups.com:

On Oct 9, 6:36 pm, Victor Smootbank wrote:
How can I repair that???

spackle

nah, scratch that, duct tape should work fine.



YOU, my friend, are a mentor of pro's' surpassed only by The Godfather of
repair.
http://www.redgreen.com/index.cfm?app=cart&a=menu

In article om,
Victor Smootbank wrote:

I have a huge problem. I have a warp reactor installed in the basement
of my house, which is powered by a quantum singularity. Unfortunately,
my quantum computer crashed last night, setting fire and that
caused temporal anomalies, you know, this happens when you
have a quantum singularity in your house.

Now, these anomalies affected time and space and now time and matter
are corrupted. That means, a part of my house was "aged" for
thousands of years, but other parts haven't been built yet.

How can I repair that???

Depends. Your assessment of the magnitude of the problem is
understandable, but may or may not be accurate. Obviously, your ability
or inability to repair it is going to be dependent not only on several
functional reciprocal contingencies, but on the total monitored
capability of the synchronized transitional projection.

Systematized incremental programming is commonly implemented to optimize
the parallel management hardware required when balancing an integrated
digital time-phase of third-generation mobility, which I assume is what
you're dealing with here.

Perhaps if you run a balanced policy flexibility analysis, incorporating
responsive logistical options, we can ferret out the real issues and not
be misled by the synthetic astral phenomena.

On Oct 10, 5:02 am, Tater wrote:
On Oct 9, 6:36 pm, Victor Smootbank wrote:

How can I repair that???

spackle

nah, scratch that, duct tape should work fine.

nope.. your earlier suggestion of spackle would be just right for
this.

On Tue, 09 Oct 2007 16:36:10 -0700, Victor Smootbank wrote:

I have a huge problem. I have a warp reactor installed in the basement
of my house, which is powered by a quantum singularity. Unfortunately,
my quantum computer crashed last night, setting fire and that
caused temporal anomalies, you know, this happens when you
have a quantum singularity in your house.

Now, these anomalies affected time and space and now time and matter
are corrupted. That means, a part of my house was "aged" for
thousands of years, but other parts haven't been built yet.

How can I repair that???

You have to configure the deflector to emit a tachyon field at varying
frequencies.

--
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.


10/11/2007 11:24:16 PM

Victor Smootbank wrote:
I have a huge problem. I have a warp reactor installed in the basement
of my house, which is powered by a quantum singularity. Unfortunately,
my quantum computer crashed last night, setting fire and that
caused temporal anomalies, you know, this happens when you
have a quantum singularity in your house.

Now, these anomalies affected time and space and now time and matter
are corrupted. That means, a part of my house was "aged" for
thousands of years, but other parts haven't been built yet.

How can I repair that???


Hit Sears and get a Craftsman Chronowarp. 5GW for a small or
medium sized house/singularity, 10GW if it's large. Don't forget
the superconducting jumper cables if you don't have a pair
already. Adjust the field size to include the area needing
temporal displacement. Limit the size of the field to the
smallest area to avoid temporal anachronisms (Pleseosaurs, HIV-II
immunovirus) by adjusting the chronoscillators with a sonic
screwdriver. MAKE SURE to include/exclude the singularity in
toto; activating the chronowarp with the singularity located on
the temporal field boundary with result in the destruction of all
matter within several hundred AUs. Most major homeowners policies
exclude damage caused by "sudden bulging, cracking, or rending
asunder of warp reactors, quantum singularities, or antimatter
devices". Your local code may also require your warp reactor be
grounded in accordance with NEC 250.66.

PB

On Thu, 18 Oct 2007 22:56:45 -0400, Plague Boy wrote:
sonic screwdriver

LOL. There aren't many folks who know about _that_ tool.

--
Art Greenberg
artg at eclipse dot net

On 9 Oct, 19:36, Victor Smootbank wrote:
I have a huge problem. I have a warp reactor installed in the basement
of my house, which is powered by a quantum singularity. Unfortunately,
my quantum computer crashed last night, setting fire and that
caused temporal anomalies, you know, this happens when you
have a quantum singularity in your house.

Now, these anomalies affected time and space and now time and matter
are corrupted. That means, a part of my house was "aged" for
thousands of years, but other parts haven't been built yet.

How can I repair that???

HI! Sorry for the delay in responding but I just got your post due to
the time shift in the room where you sent it from.

I've sent you a detailed response via private e-mail, including all
equipment required, the costs and time lines for the implementation of
the plan. I used MS Project for Windows 3.1 since I assume your
computer is in one of the older sections of the house. All figures are
in 2756 dollars, adusted for inflation and... oh crap...I forgot to
devalue the dollar based on the then-current galaxy wide trade-
deficit. I'll get back to you in a millenium or so with the updated
figures.