The other day, I was in the bathroom, and I noticed that all of the toilet
paper on the roll was in a twisted pile on the floor. Darn that cat! Spent
the better part of my visit rerolling paper, and it's hard to do where I
have the dispenser. Got so twisted up, I had to return half an hour later
to finish what I went in there to do.

Then the other day, I was in there doing some serious reading, and the roll
started to unroll all on its own from the weight of the paper hanging there.
I watched as long as I could stand it, knowing I would have to roll all that
up. And I was starting to hear the first few notes from "Twilight Zone."

What's up with that? Is it a conspiracy by the companies to get this
product to self consume when not used, like cigarettes? Modern cigarettes
burn if you don't smoke them, but old ones would go out if you don't puff
them. The self consuming aspect was engineered into the product. Is this
the same?

Or is this defective? Not enough animal intestine mucous glue in there to
cause it to stick together only slightly enough to keep it from freerolling?
And if it is a defect, could there be others? Like maybe the rat poison or
melamine petroleum distillates they have found in pet foods lately. I mean,
I get pretty intimate with this stuff, and I don't want my business falling
off.

Is this just me? Anyone else have this experience? Is this safe?

Steve

"Steve B" wrote in message
...
The other day, I was in the bathroom, and I noticed that all of the toilet
paper on the roll was in a twisted pile on the floor. Darn that cat!
Spent the better part of my visit rerolling paper, and it's hard to do
where I have the dispenser. Got so twisted up, I had to return half an
hour later to finish what I went in there to do.

Then the other day, I was in there doing some serious reading, and the
roll started to unroll all on its own from the weight of the paper hanging
there. I watched as long as I could stand it, knowing I would have to roll
all that up. And I was starting to hear the first few notes from
"Twilight Zone."

What's up with that? Is it a conspiracy by the companies to get this
product to self consume when not used, like cigarettes? Modern cigarettes
burn if you don't smoke them, but old ones would go out if you don't puff
them. The self consuming aspect was engineered into the product. Is this
the same?

Or is this defective? Not enough animal intestine mucous glue in there to
cause it to stick together only slightly enough to keep it from
freerolling? And if it is a defect, could there be others? Like maybe the
rat poison or melamine petroleum distillates they have found in pet foods
lately. I mean, I get pretty intimate with this stuff, and I don't want
my business falling off.

Is this just me? Anyone else have this experience? Is this safe?

Steve


You obviously have way too much unsupervised free time.

You really need to get a life!

Steve B wrote:

The other day, I was in the bathroom, and I noticed that all of the toilet
paper on the roll was in a twisted pile on the floor. Darn that cat! Spent
the better part of my visit rerolling paper, and it's hard to do where I
have the dispenser. Got so twisted up, I had to return half an hour later
to finish what I went in there to do.

Then the other day, I was in there doing some serious reading, and the roll
started to unroll all on its own from the weight of the paper hanging there.
I watched as long as I could stand it, knowing I would have to roll all that
up. And I was starting to hear the first few notes from "Twilight Zone."

What's up with that? Is it a conspiracy by the companies to get this
product to self consume when not used, like cigarettes? Modern cigarettes
burn if you don't smoke them, but old ones would go out if you don't puff
them. The self consuming aspect was engineered into the product. Is this
the same?

Or is this defective? Not enough animal intestine mucous glue in there to
cause it to stick together only slightly enough to keep it from freerolling?
And if it is a defect, could there be others? Like maybe the rat poison or
melamine petroleum distillates they have found in pet foods lately. I mean,
I get pretty intimate with this stuff, and I don't want my business falling
off.

Is this just me? Anyone else have this experience? Is this safe?

It can get way worse than that.

I was running the projectors at the local
theater when I was in high school. I take
a reel of film I just unthreaded, set it on
my stool and go down to the snack bar.

Come back up and the reel has unspooled itself
around the stool.

"Diamond Jim" wrote in message
...

"Steve B" wrote in message
...
The other day, I was in the bathroom, and I noticed that all of the
toilet paper on the roll was in a twisted pile on the floor. Darn that
cat! Spent the better part of my visit rerolling paper, and it's hard to
do where I have the dispenser. Got so twisted up, I had to return half
an hour later to finish what I went in there to do.

Then the other day, I was in there doing some serious reading, and the
roll started to unroll all on its own from the weight of the paper
hanging there. I watched as long as I could stand it, knowing I would
have to roll all that up. And I was starting to hear the first few notes
from "Twilight Zone."

What's up with that? Is it a conspiracy by the companies to get this
product to self consume when not used, like cigarettes? Modern
cigarettes burn if you don't smoke them, but old ones would go out if you
don't puff them. The self consuming aspect was engineered into the
product. Is this the same?

Or is this defective? Not enough animal intestine mucous glue in there
to cause it to stick together only slightly enough to keep it from
freerolling? And if it is a defect, could there be others? Like maybe
the rat poison or melamine petroleum distillates they have found in pet
foods lately. I mean, I get pretty intimate with this stuff, and I don't
want my business falling off.

Is this just me? Anyone else have this experience? Is this safe?

Steve


You obviously have way too much unsupervised free time.

You really need to get a life!

Been there. Done that. Got the T shirt. It's way overrated.

Now, I'm retired, and living comfortably enough to have the time to ponder
these things.

Steve

"Jim Stewart" wrote in message
.. .
Steve B wrote:

The other day, I was in the bathroom, and I noticed that all of the
toilet paper on the roll was in a twisted pile on the floor. Darn that
cat! Spent the better part of my visit rerolling paper, and it's hard to
do where I have the dispenser. Got so twisted up, I had to return half
an hour later to finish what I went in there to do.

Then the other day, I was in there doing some serious reading, and the
roll started to unroll all on its own from the weight of the paper
hanging there. I watched as long as I could stand it, knowing I would
have to roll all that up. And I was starting to hear the first few notes
from "Twilight Zone."

What's up with that? Is it a conspiracy by the companies to get this
product to self consume when not used, like cigarettes? Modern
cigarettes burn if you don't smoke them, but old ones would go out if you
don't puff them. The self consuming aspect was engineered into the
product. Is this the same?

Or is this defective? Not enough animal intestine mucous glue in there
to cause it to stick together only slightly enough to keep it from
freerolling? And if it is a defect, could there be others? Like maybe
the rat poison or melamine petroleum distillates they have found in pet
foods lately. I mean, I get pretty intimate with this stuff, and I don't
want my business falling off.

Is this just me? Anyone else have this experience? Is this safe?

It can get way worse than that.

I was running the projectors at the local
theater when I was in high school. I take
a reel of film I just unthreaded, set it on
my stool and go down to the snack bar.

Come back up and the reel has unspooled itself
around the stool.



As a former card carrying projectionist, (not professionally, but as a
student) that's funny. I'll bet it took a while to fix, too.

Steve

Steve

A friend of mine had that problem in a motor home. The answer is
to mash the TP roll, on one side. So that the center core is now
tear drop shape. The roll than hangs a little off center, and
doesn't easily turn any more.

It is my wish that all your remaining life problems will be so
simple.

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
..

"Steve B" wrote in message
...
: The other day, I was in the bathroom, and I noticed that all of
the toilet
: paper on the roll was in a twisted pile on the floor. Darn
that cat! Spent
: the better part of my visit rerolling paper, and it's hard to
do where I
: have the dispenser. Got so twisted up, I had to return half an
hour later
: to finish what I went in there to do.
:
: Then the other day, I was in there doing some serious reading,
and the roll
: started to unroll all on its own from the weight of the paper
hanging there.
: I watched as long as I could stand it, knowing I would have to
roll all that
: up. And I was starting to hear the first few notes from
"Twilight Zone."
:
: What's up with that? Is it a conspiracy by the companies to
get this
: product to self consume when not used, like cigarettes? Modern
cigarettes
: burn if you don't smoke them, but old ones would go out if you
don't puff
: them. The self consuming aspect was engineered into the
product. Is this
: the same?
:
: Or is this defective? Not enough animal intestine mucous glue
in there to
: cause it to stick together only slightly enough to keep it from
freerolling?
: And if it is a defect, could there be others? Like maybe the
rat poison or
: melamine petroleum distillates they have found in pet foods
lately. I mean,
: I get pretty intimate with this stuff, and I don't want my
business falling
: off.
:
: Is this just me? Anyone else have this experience? Is this
safe?
:
: Steve
:
:

That's painful.

When I was in the audio visual club, in high school. The AV
director found a couple spools of VCR tape she didn't need, back
when tape was on reels.

And a couple audio cassettes. We had fun unspooling the tape into
the trash, much as your reel of film. We also found that if you
break open the audio tape, and push the center spool out, you can
do much the same from the middle of the spool of audio tape.

The problem occured when she decided one day she didn't really
want to throw out that particular tape.

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
..

"Jim Stewart" wrote in message
.. .
:
: It can get way worse than that.
:
: I was running the projectors at the local
: theater when I was in high school. I take
: a reel of film I just unthreaded, set it on
: my stool and go down to the snack bar.
:
: Come back up and the reel has unspooled itself
: around the stool.
:
:

"Stormin Mormon" wrote in message
...
A friend of mine had that problem in a motor home. The answer is
to mash the TP roll, on one side. So that the center core is now
tear drop shape. The roll than hangs a little off center, and
doesn't easily turn any more.

It is my wish that all your remaining life problems will be so
simple.

--

Christopher A. Young

Thank you. I go Friday for angioplasty/stent work 5 years post 5 way
coronary artery bypass surgery/aortic valve replacement. My life has peaks
and valleys and meadows, just like before.

"It's always something." - Roseanne Roseannadanna

Steve

Stormin Mormon wrote:
A friend of mine had that problem in a motor home. The answer is
to mash the TP roll, on one side. So that the center core is now
tear drop shape. The roll than hangs a little off center, and
doesn't easily turn any more.

It is my wish that all your remaining life problems will be so
simple.


They (someone) already has the fix on the market in the form of a
spindle with the holes drilled off center.

Perfect job for some of us! :-)

Cheers
Trevor Jones

"Steve B" wrote in message
...
The other day, I was in the bathroom, and I noticed that all of the toilet
paper on the roll was in a twisted pile on the floor. Darn that cat!
Spent the better part of my visit rerolling paper, and it's hard to do
where I have the dispenser. Got so twisted up, I had to return half an
hour later to finish what I went in there to do.

Then the other day, I was in there doing some serious reading, and the
roll started to unroll all on its own from the weight of the paper hanging
there. I watched as long as I could stand it, knowing I would have to roll
all that up. And I was starting to hear the first few notes from
"Twilight Zone."

What's up with that? Is it a conspiracy by the companies to get this
product to self consume when not used, like cigarettes? Modern cigarettes
burn if you don't smoke them, but old ones would go out if you don't puff
them. The self consuming aspect was engineered into the product. Is this
the same?

Or is this defective? Not enough animal intestine mucous glue in there to
cause it to stick together only slightly enough to keep it from
freerolling? And if it is a defect, could there be others? Like maybe the
rat poison or melamine petroleum distillates they have found in pet foods
lately. I mean, I get pretty intimate with this stuff, and I don't want
my business falling off.

Is this just me? Anyone else have this experience? Is this safe?

Steve


You must have one of those Swiss made, $470 Sonoma imported, TPP "Toilet
Paper Processor" mounted on needle bearings. Or the $640 deluxe model with
air bearing.

It is incredible how small a leader it takes to unbalance, and once the
unraveling is started is a self sustaining process. The motive force
increases and the resisting inertial moment decrease.

Mauro

"MG" wrote


You must have one of those Swiss made, $470 Sonoma imported, TPP "Toilet
Paper Processor" mounted on needle bearings. Or the $640 deluxe model
with air bearing.

It is incredible how small a leader it takes to unbalance, and once the
unraveling is started is a self sustaining process. The motive force
increases and the resisting inertial moment decrease.

Mauro

You got one, too, huh? The thing that really makes me mad is that someone
did this on purpose, or some engineer at a toilet paper factory was a
graduate of an Internet diploma mill, and missed it completely, and has a
paycheck higher than mine.

And yeah, yer right. The speed increases the farther down the roll it gets
until the brake kicks in. But that's only on the Swiss model.

Steve

On Tue, 3 Apr 2007 14:00:26 -0700, "Steve B"
wrote:

The other day, I was in the bathroom, and I noticed that all of the toilet
paper on the roll was in a twisted pile on the floor. Darn that cat! Spent
the better part of my visit rerolling paper, and it's hard to do where I
have the dispenser. Got so twisted up, I had to return half an hour later
to finish what I went in there to do.

Then the other day, I was in there doing some serious reading, and the roll
started to unroll all on its own from the weight of the paper hanging there.
I watched as long as I could stand it, knowing I would have to roll all that
up. And I was starting to hear the first few notes from "Twilight Zone."

What's up with that? Is it a conspiracy by the companies to get this
product to self consume when not used, like cigarettes? Modern cigarettes
burn if you don't smoke them, but old ones would go out if you don't puff
them. The self consuming aspect was engineered into the product. Is this
the same?

Or is this defective? Not enough animal intestine mucous glue in there to
cause it to stick together only slightly enough to keep it from freerolling?
And if it is a defect, could there be others? Like maybe the rat poison or
melamine petroleum distillates they have found in pet foods lately. I mean,
I get pretty intimate with this stuff, and I don't want my business falling
off.

Is this just me? Anyone else have this experience? Is this safe?

Steve


There's those "institutional" rollers that make it really hard to
unroll more than about 2 sheets at a time.
--
Mark Lloyd
http://notstupid.laughingsquid.com

"Never underestimate the power of stupid
people in large groups"

There's those "institutional" rollers that make it really hard to
unroll more than about 2 sheets at a time.
--
Mark Lloyd
http://notstupid.laughingsquid.com

"Never underestimate the power of stupid
people in large groups"

All the companies I worked for have the "institutional" rollers.
I always thought it was a decision made by upper management to save on TP
cost by reducing availability.

Funny though, the TP is a narrow gauge type and is of monatomic thickness.
Instead of the usual triple fold, I always do a hex fold twice with 50%
overlap. Not much saving in that.

Mauro

So, you go in and they dope you up, and you see if you wake up
alive or dead. That's simple.

Welll, I know it's a source of stress. Best luck for surgery.
Time to call the religious folks from your group for their
sickness ceremony. Whichever brand of God you follow.

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
..

"Steve B" wrote in message
...
:
: It is my wish that all your remaining life problems will be
so
: simple.
:
: --
:
: Christopher A. Young
:
: Thank you. I go Friday for angioplasty/stent work 5 years post
5 way
: coronary artery bypass surgery/aortic valve replacement. My
life has peaks
: and valleys and meadows, just like before.
:
: "It's always something." - Roseanne Roseannadanna
:
: Steve
:
:

Isn't that the way... wait till they issue a TP ration every
morning.

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
..

"MG" wrote in message
ink.net...
:
: All the companies I worked for have the "institutional"
rollers.
: I always thought it was a decision made by upper management to
save on TP
: cost by reducing availability.
:
: Funny though, the TP is a narrow gauge type and is of monatomic
thickness.
: Instead of the usual triple fold, I always do a hex fold twice
with 50%
: overlap. Not much saving in that.
:
: Mauro
:
:
:

"Stormin Mormon" wrote in message
...
So, you go in and they dope you up, and you see if you wake up
alive or dead. That's simple.

Welll, I know it's a source of stress. Best luck for surgery.
Time to call the religious folks from your group for their
sickness ceremony. Whichever brand of God you follow.

--

He made me. He sent me here. I'll answer to Him. I see no need of
middlemen.

Steve

On Tue, 3 Apr 2007 15:52:35 -0700, "Steve B"
wrote:


"Stormin Mormon" wrote in message
.. .
A friend of mine had that problem in a motor home. The answer is
to mash the TP roll, on one side. So that the center core is now
tear drop shape. The roll than hangs a little off center, and
doesn't easily turn any more.

It is my wish that all your remaining life problems will be so
simple.

--

Christopher A. Young

Thank you. I go Friday for angioplasty/stent work 5 years post 5 way
coronary artery bypass surgery/aortic valve replacement. My life has peaks
and valleys and meadows, just like before.

"It's always something." - Roseanne Roseannadanna

Steve

Dibs on your Syncrowave!!

Ah..er..if something untowards happens of course..which is rare..really
really rare, hardly ever turns to ****..nearly never..least..the
hospitals dont report it that way....

My ex-wife had a 3 way done a few years ago. She is still a worthless
bitch, but a fairly healthy one.

Gunner

"Try thinking of the Libertarian Party as a rolled-up newspaper,
useful in making the Republican puppy (I've given up on the Democratic bitch)
go where he's supposed to -- not on that beautiful antique carpet
we call the Constitution." -- L. Neil Smith, Bill Clinton's Reichstag Fire

On Tue, 03 Apr 2007 23:16:04 GMT, "MG" wrote:


Is this just me? Anyone else have this experience? Is this safe?

Steve


You must have one of those Swiss made, $470 Sonoma imported, TPP "Toilet
Paper Processor" mounted on needle bearings. Or the $640 deluxe model with
air bearing.

It is incredible how small a leader it takes to unbalance, and once the
unraveling is started is a self sustaining process. The motive force
increases and the resisting inertial moment decrease.

Mauro


That was the first miracle attributed to Our Lady of Perpetual Motion.

Gunner

"Try thinking of the Libertarian Party as a rolled-up newspaper,
useful in making the Republican puppy (I've given up on the Democratic bitch)
go where he's supposed to -- not on that beautiful antique carpet
we call the Constitution." -- L. Neil Smith, Bill Clinton's Reichstag Fire

On Tue, 03 Apr 2007 19:21:30 -0500, Mark Lloyd
wrote:


Or is this defective? Not enough animal intestine mucous glue in there to
cause it to stick together only slightly enough to keep it from freerolling?
And if it is a defect, could there be others? Like maybe the rat poison or
melamine petroleum distillates they have found in pet foods lately. I mean,
I get pretty intimate with this stuff, and I don't want my business falling
off.

Is this just me? Anyone else have this experience? Is this safe?

Steve


There's those "institutional" rollers that make it really hard to
unroll more than about 2 sheets at a time.


Crom but I hate those!!! Rest stops, Jack in the Box...they all have
that huge freaking roll that is rigged so you cant get enough paper to
wipe a puppies ass...

Gunner

"Try thinking of the Libertarian Party as a rolled-up newspaper,
useful in making the Republican puppy (I've given up on the Democratic bitch)
go where he's supposed to -- not on that beautiful antique carpet
we call the Constitution." -- L. Neil Smith, Bill Clinton's Reichstag Fire

In article ,
"Steve B" wrote:

Time to call the religious folks from your group for their
sickness ceremony. Whichever brand of God you follow.

--

He made me. He sent me here. I'll answer to Him. I see no need of
middlemen.

Amen
Committees of Correspondence Web page: www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/5357/

--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

On Tue, 3 Apr 2007 22:05:34 -0400, "Stormin Mormon"
wrote:

Isn't that the way... wait till they issue a TP ration every
morning.

Save TP - use both sides!
--
"How could you ask me to believe in God when there's
absolutely no evidence that I can see?" -- Jodie Foster

"NotX" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 3 Apr 2007 22:05:34 -0400, "Stormin Mormon"
wrote:

Isn't that the way... wait till they issue a TP ration every
morning.

Save TP - use both sides!

My Dad, who was born in 1918 was a thrifty miser. He used two sheets of
toilet paper at a time, folded. I never could figure that out. I think it
was from growing up through the Depression, but, HEY POP THE DEPRESSION'S
OVER.

I, on the other hand, use as much as I deem necessary, and buy the
refrigerator sized packs on sale.

Steve

Steve B wrote:

The other day, I was in the bathroom, and I noticed that all of the toilet
paper on the roll was in a twisted pile on the floor. Darn that cat! Spent
the better part of my visit rerolling paper, and it's hard to do where I
have the dispenser. Got so twisted up, I had to return half an hour later
to finish what I went in there to do.

Then the other day, I was in there doing some serious reading, and the roll
started to unroll all on its own from the weight of the paper hanging there.
I watched as long as I could stand it, knowing I would have to roll all that
up. And I was starting to hear the first few notes from "Twilight Zone."

What's up with that?

What, did you put precision instrument ball bearings in the TP roller tube?
You could hang an 8 Oz weight on the end of our TP and it wouldn't unroll.
I've certainly never seen this hapen before!

Jon

"Steve B" wrote in message
...

"NotX" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 3 Apr 2007 22:05:34 -0400, "Stormin Mormon"
wrote:

Isn't that the way... wait till they issue a TP ration every
morning.

Save TP - use both sides!

My Dad, who was born in 1918 was a thrifty miser. He used two sheets of
toilet paper at a time, folded. I never could figure that out. I think
it was from growing up through the Depression, but, HEY POP THE
DEPRESSION'S OVER.

I, on the other hand, use as much as I deem necessary, and buy the
refrigerator sized packs on sale.

Steve


During WW2 in Italy there was shortage of everything including paper.
As a joke and as a tepid sarcasm directed to Mussolini, the story goes that
the party issued instructions on how to recycle the standard street car
thicket: a piece of paper about 1.25"x2".

First fold in half and tear out from the fold a semicircular section 0.5"
diameter in the center.
Save the 1/2" confetto for later.
Slip your middle finger through the hole cut in the center of the ticket and
wipe yourself.
Slip out the paper cleaning the finger and wrapping the brown stuff into the
paper.
Refold the circular piece into a quadrant and clean under the finger nail
with the pointy part.

We (Italians) lost the war. Well, technically we did not loose, we hanged
Mussolini and the provisional government welcomed the American liberators.

Mauro

Mark Lloyd wrote:

There's those "institutional" rollers that make it really hard to
unroll more than about 2 sheets at a time.

"realy hard" ? I'd say more like DA*N near impossible. :-)
...lew...

On Wed, 04 Apr 2007 22:49:39 GMT, Lew Hartswick
wrote:

Mark Lloyd wrote:

There's those "institutional" rollers that make it really hard to
unroll more than about 2 sheets at a time.

"realy hard" ? I'd say more like DA*N near impossible. :-)
...lew...

I do know someone who found it easier to wipe with the curtain.

BTW, you might notice how much "DA*N" looks like "DRM".
--
Mark Lloyd
http://notstupid.laughingsquid.com

"Never underestimate the power of stupid
people in large groups"