Although I have been out of the handyman business for years, I still
have a few people that call me, and on occasion I still do a few small
repairs. Yesterday I got one of the stupidest calls ever. I have
never worked for this guy, but someone gave him my phone number.

The guy said he recently moved into a home that has water problems in
the basement. Due to recent rains, he had 2 inches of water in the
basement, and said he had already rented an industrial 12 gallon wet
and dry vacuum cleaner. He said it worked fine until it got full, and
then it took 4 men to lift it up the stairs and carry it outside. He
said they had carried out ten or more tank fulls and barely noticed
any drop in the water level in the basement.

I told him that the vacuum is great for final cleanup, but he needed
to rent or buy a sump pump, and flex hose, and just pump it out a
window, and I went on to explain that it would be much easier than
carrying a heavy canister full of 12 gallons of water.

That's when the shocking news was explained to me. The guy said he
has a sump pump, but because it's under the floor, and the cord was in
the water, he unplugged it. I explained to him that it's intended to
be used that way and told him to plug it back in. Then he told me the
pump is small and could never pump all that water. I asked him if
it's a regular sump pump, but he could not answer me because he said
he never saw one before and said his old house did not have one.

That's when I decided to drive over and take a look. The guy had a
standard sump pit, and a fairly good sized submercible sump pump in
it. He continued to insist that the pump was too small for all that
water, and having the cord in the water was dangerous. He also told
me he unplugged the pump right after they moved in, last summer when
there was water seeping into the basement, and said the basement has
flooded with a few inches of water several times since then.

I explained to him that the purpose of the pump is to remove that
water, but he continuued to insist that the pump was too small for all
taht water, and was dangerous. I finally told him to go outside and
watch the pipe on the side of the house and I would test the pump, and
he should tell me if he sees water coming out.

As soon as the water came out he got all excited and said it was
pouring out of the pipe and would ruin his lawn. I grabbed a
downspout extension off the house and placed it on the sump pump pipe
outside. Then I told him to come in the basement and watch the water
go down. He was amazed....... He kept insisting that the pump should
be much larger for that much water. 20 minutes later, he was
completely amazed that the basement no longer had standing water on
the floor. I explained (again), that the pump is there to get rid of
the water BEFORE the water is on top of the floor.

He paid me and must have told me 5 more times how he was amazed that
such a small pump could remove all that water...... Of course he had
to ask several more times about that cord in the water.

Now I heard it all........

Times like this, makes me believe there are some people who should
just not own a home....

(By the way, before I left, I told to go to the hardware store and buy
a sump pump extension hose. I really hope he can figure out how to
tighten the hose clamp).

Mark

On Sat 13 May 2006 01:06:06a, Thus Spake Zarathustra, or was it ?

Although I have been out of the handyman business for years, I still
have a few people that call me, and on occasion I still do a few small
repairs. Yesterday I got one of the stupidest calls ever. I have
never worked for this guy, but someone gave him my phone number.

Some people are inherently stupid.

--
Wayne Boatwright @¿@¬
_____________________

I fix office machines for a living....

endless funny stories

The fill in secretary who called reporting her copier wasnt working. I
stopped it was school dismassal time, the office a zoo.

the copier had no toner in it, developer unit completely empty.

i wondered what happened, filled it with toner and left. staff to busy
to talk to.

first thing the next morning the lady caled again, copier doing same
thing

140 copies since I filled it with toner it was EMPTY AGAIN, wierd and
when the toner gets low its designed to put up a error message and
eventually shut down

I report no toner Secretary asks whats toner? It goes in this hopper
here....

Oh you mean that black dirt? I dont like dirt I cleaned it for you

I filled the copier again explained toner made the black and left...

a month later the lady called, reporting machine was using too much
toner. no you tossed enough for 30,000 copies. she wanted it covered
under warranty, no way to do that.....

I bumped into her and her husband one nite. She introduced me. I told
her hubby you MUST have the cleanest hoiuse in the world he agreed.

Honestly I fix more people than machines

idiots are everywhere

lady wanted free toner to replace what she dumped in garbage.

there was the fellow who used the glass top of his copier to nail shut
a wood packing crates lid.

crash...

I like your statement on stupidity. Have you given thought as to the
reason.
This is the results of taking decipline away from the teacher several
years ago.
Streamlining our schools to where there is little pupil, teacher
relationship.
Advancing students who fail the grade.
Plus many more reasons.
What may be considered progress is not always so in the long run.
Call it "Unintended consequenses." We now have a generation of
humans that, a great majority, are as you rated them, "STUPID"
The irony is that they are and will be the ones who are respnsible
for Running the Country!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you or your children in this group??????????
There is an old proverb, "You reap that which you sow."
Jack

as people get more specialized or make more money common sense is no
longer need for survival...........

some of the most educated people are completely clueless out of their
speciality...

of cours laziness contribuites to this....

just hire someone and have no idea how stuff works.

my wife would be happy in a apartment for a lifetime, where someone
else fixes and cares for everything...

wrote in message
...
Although I have been out of the handyman business for years, I still
have a few people that call me, and on occasion I still do a few small
repairs. Yesterday I got one of the stupidest calls ever.

snip, snip

A true story from the Las Vegas Review-Journal

(paraphrased)

Over the weekend at Lake Mead, a boat motored to the fuel dock. The lady
driving told the attendant to fill it up. She asked for him to look at the
boat, as it seemed slow and sluggish.

When the attendant looked, he saw that the boat trailer was still attached
to the boat.

True story.

Steve

wrote:

as people get more specialized or make more money common sense is no
longer need for survival...........


Yes, common sense is no longer very common.....G


some of the most educated people are completely clueless out of their
speciality...

of cours laziness contribuites to this....

just hire someone and have no idea how stuff works.

To give the devils their due, we live in a far more technologically
complex world than we did 75 years ago, and it's impossible now for
anyone to be a "renaissance man" and understand everything. We're all
ignorant in more subjects than we're knowledgable in, but ignorance is
no excuse for stupidity.

But, not being able to comprehend that not ALL screw threads in
existance are "righty tighty lefty loosey" shouldn't take a rocket
scientist.

We're all ignorant of more subjects than we're knowledgable about, but
ignorance is no excuse for stupidity.


my wife would be happy in a apartment for a lifetime, where someone
else fixes and cares for everything...


Mine too, but I sure wouldn't have enjoyed doing all the the
housekeeping, people stuff, and mothering things she's devoted much of
her life too. God bless her, and happy Mother's Day Honey!

Jeff

--
Jeffry Wisnia
(W1BSV + Brass Rat '57 EE)
"Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put
into it."

All three my service calls today were neglect. Two lock outs, and one
lady who messed up her refrigerator while trying to clean under it.
Well, I get paid to solve problems. Regardless of hwo the problem came
into existance.

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
..

"Wayne Boatwright" wayneboatwright_at_gmail.com wrote in message
28.19...
On Sat 13 May 2006 01:06:06a, Thus Spake Zarathustra, or was it ?

Although I have been out of the handyman business for years, I still
have a few people that call me, and on occasion I still do a few
small
repairs. Yesterday I got one of the stupidest calls ever. I have
never worked for this guy, but someone gave him my phone number.

Some people are inherently stupid.

--
Wayne Boatwright @¿@¬
_____________________

On Sat, 13 May 2006 08:57:17 -0700, "Steve B"
wrote:


wrote in message
.. .
Although I have been out of the handyman business for years, I still
have a few people that call me, and on occasion I still do a few small
repairs. Yesterday I got one of the stupidest calls ever.

snip, snip

A true story from the Las Vegas Review-Journal

(paraphrased)

Over the weekend at Lake Mead, a boat motored to the fuel dock. The lady
driving told the attendant to fill it up. She asked for him to look at the
boat, as it seemed slow and sluggish.

When the attendant looked, he saw that the boat trailer was still attached
to the boat.

True story.

Steve

It's good to keep the trailer attached, because that way you won't
scrape your boat on the bottom of the lake. Lake Mead especially has
been known to have rocks that rip a boat's hull open. Keeping the
trailer underneath prevents this.