Although I have been out of the handyman business for years, I still
have a few people that call me, and on occasion I still do a few small
repairs. Yesterday I got one of the stupidest calls ever. I have
never worked for this guy, but someone gave him my phone number.

The guy said he recently moved into a home that has water problems in
the basement. Due to recent rains, he had 2 inches of water in the
basement, and said he had already rented an industrial 12 gallon wet
and dry vacuum cleaner. He said it worked fine until it got full, and
then it took 4 men to lift it up the stairs and carry it outside. He
said they had carried out ten or more tank fulls and barely noticed
any drop in the water level in the basement.

I told him that the vacuum is great for final cleanup, but he needed
to rent or buy a sump pump, and flex hose, and just pump it out a
window, and I went on to explain that it would be much easier than
carrying a heavy canister full of 12 gallons of water.

That's when the shocking news was explained to me. The guy said he
has a sump pump, but because it's under the floor, and the cord was in
the water, he unplugged it. I explained to him that it's intended to
be used that way and told him to plug it back in. Then he told me the
pump is small and could never pump all that water. I asked him if
it's a regular sump pump, but he could not answer me because he said
he never saw one before and said his old house did not have one.

That's when I decided to drive over and take a look. The guy had a
standard sump pit, and a fairly good sized submercible sump pump in
it. He continued to insist that the pump was too small for all that
water, and having the cord in the water was dangerous. He also told
me he unplugged the pump right after they moved in, last summer when
there was water seeping into the basement, and said the basement has
flooded with a few inches of water several times since then.

I explained to him that the purpose of the pump is to remove that
water, but he continuued to insist that the pump was too small for all
taht water, and was dangerous. I finally told him to go outside and
watch the pipe on the side of the house and I would test the pump, and
he should tell me if he sees water coming out.

As soon as the water came out he got all excited and said it was
pouring out of the pipe and would ruin his lawn. I grabbed a
downspout extension off the house and placed it on the sump pump pipe
outside. Then I told him to come in the basement and watch the water
go down. He was amazed....... He kept insisting that the pump should
be much larger for that much water. 20 minutes later, he was
completely amazed that the basement no longer had standing water on
the floor. I explained (again), that the pump is there to get rid of
the water BEFORE the water is on top of the floor.

He paid me and must have told me 5 more times how he was amazed that
such a small pump could remove all that water...... Of course he had
to ask several more times about that cord in the water.

Now I heard it all........

Times like this, makes me believe there are some people who should
just not own a home....

(By the way, before I left, I told to go to the hardware store and buy
a sump pump extension hose. I really hope he can figure out how to
tighten the hose clamp).

Mark