Well it seems it finally happened - the Plywood Lawn Deer
appears to have been hunted to extinction. Not too long
ago they were plentiful. A walk through the neighborhood,
a drive to the store, even on a trip to the airport, you'd
see at least one, often half a dozen or more. And their
numbers seemed to increase dramatically around this
time of year - the migration season I guess. Around
Halloweeen, most of the woodworking magazines would
have an article on them. A buzz about Plywood Lawn
Deer would start here and threads would go on for
weeks at a time. But this year . . .

Maybe they weren't hunted to extinction - but displaced
by the Wire Framed Tiny Lights Lawn Deer - a more
technologicly advanced species with which the Plywood
Lawn Deer could not compete.

Their passing may be Mother Nature's way of warning
us. Pukey Ducks and Cat Push Sticks may be endangered
species at this moment. No one really knows how many
are out there so we don't know if there's still a sustainable
population or not. There's almost no data on their
habitat requirements, food needs or their reproduction
rates. Hell, I can't find anything on their life span.

If you actually see a Plywood Lawn Deer, please post
the siting, date, time of day, weather conditions,
location (part of what state - ie. central Iowa, northern
South Carolina, southern North Carolina etc.), size
(in inches, feet or "hands"), number of "points" if any
and probable gender.

Maybe it's not too late for the Plywood Lawn Deer.
Time to mobilize, organize, start a lobbying group,
collect donations, take out full page ads in local
papers, start a speakers list and send it to all the
other organizations - Kiwanis, Elks, VFW - and
CHURCHES. Save one of God's creations from
extinction. On second thought, forget churches,
extinction would conflict with Intelligent Design.
What god would create something that couldn''t
fit in? Way too close to the E-word (Evolution).

Aw screw 'em. They were tough and splintery,
even the fat healthy ones.

Never mind.

charlie b

We need a slogan - something people will remember.
Save The Whale worked fairly well.

Termites?

charlie b wrote:
Well it seems it finally happened - the Plywood Lawn Deer
appears to have been hunted to extinction. Not too long
ago they were plentiful. A walk through the neighborhood,
a drive to the store, even on a trip to the airport, you'd
see at least one, often half a dozen or more. And their
numbers seemed to increase dramatically around this
time of year - the migration season I guess. Around
Halloweeen, most of the woodworking magazines would
have an article on them. A buzz about Plywood Lawn
Deer would start here and threads would go on for
weeks at a time. But this year . . .

Maybe they weren't hunted to extinction - but displaced
by the Wire Framed Tiny Lights Lawn Deer - a more
technologicly advanced species with which the Plywood
Lawn Deer could not compete.

Their passing may be Mother Nature's way of warning
us. Pukey Ducks and Cat Push Sticks may be endangered
species at this moment. No one really knows how many
are out there so we don't know if there's still a sustainable
population or not. There's almost no data on their
habitat requirements, food needs or their reproduction
rates. Hell, I can't find anything on their life span.

If you actually see a Plywood Lawn Deer, please post
the siting, date, time of day, weather conditions,
location (part of what state - ie. central Iowa, northern
South Carolina, southern North Carolina etc.), size
(in inches, feet or "hands"), number of "points" if any
and probable gender.

Maybe it's not too late for the Plywood Lawn Deer.
Time to mobilize, organize, start a lobbying group,
collect donations, take out full page ads in local
papers, start a speakers list and send it to all the
other organizations - Kiwanis, Elks, VFW - and
CHURCHES. Save one of God's creations from
extinction. On second thought, forget churches,
extinction would conflict with Intelligent Design.
What god would create something that couldn''t
fit in? Way too close to the E-word (Evolution).

Aw screw 'em. They were tough and splintery,
even the fat healthy ones.

Never mind.

charlie b

We need a slogan - something people will remember.
Save The Whale worked fairly well.

On Fri, 22 Dec 2006 19:12:03 -0800, charlie b
wrote:

Well it seems it finally happened - the Plywood Lawn Deer
appears to have been hunted to extinction. Not too long
ago they were plentiful. A walk through the neighborhood,
a drive to the store, even on a trip to the airport, you'd
see at least one, often half a dozen or more. And their
numbers seemed to increase dramatically around this
time of year - the migration season I guess. Around
Halloweeen, most of the woodworking magazines would
have an article on them. A buzz about Plywood Lawn
Deer would start here and threads would go on for
weeks at a time. But this year . . .

Maybe they weren't hunted to extinction - but displaced
by the Wire Framed Tiny Lights Lawn Deer - a more
technologicly advanced species with which the Plywood
Lawn Deer could not compete.

Their passing may be Mother Nature's way of warning
us. Pukey Ducks and Cat Push Sticks may be endangered
species at this moment. No one really knows how many
are out there so we don't know if there's still a sustainable
population or not. There's almost no data on their
habitat requirements, food needs or their reproduction
rates. Hell, I can't find anything on their life span.

If you actually see a Plywood Lawn Deer, please post
the siting, date, time of day, weather conditions,
location (part of what state - ie. central Iowa, northern
South Carolina, southern North Carolina etc.), size
(in inches, feet or "hands"), number of "points" if any
and probable gender.

Maybe it's not too late for the Plywood Lawn Deer.
Time to mobilize, organize, start a lobbying group,
collect donations, take out full page ads in local
papers, start a speakers list and send it to all the
other organizations - Kiwanis, Elks, VFW - and
CHURCHES. Save one of God's creations from
extinction. On second thought, forget churches,
extinction would conflict with Intelligent Design.
What god would create something that couldn''t
fit in? Way too close to the E-word (Evolution).

Aw screw 'em. They were tough and splintery,
even the fat healthy ones.

Never mind.

charlie b

We need a slogan - something people will remember.
Save The Whale worked fairly well.


It's Saw Stop, Charlie. Nobody can rip down Lawn Deer Plywood anymore
because the dumb saw misfires everythime they try. Evidently it cannot
tell the difference between Lawn Deer and operator.

Fri, Dec 22, 2006, 7:12pm (EST-3) (charlie*b)
doth warn us thusly:
snip Their passing may be Mother Nature's way of warning us. Pukey
Ducks and Cat Push Sticks may be endangered species at this moment.
snip

Not if I have anything to say about it. Even as you read this I am
instigating federal protection for Pukey Ducks.



JOAT
Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.
- Eric Hoffer

On Fri, 22 Dec 2006 19:12:03 -0800, charlie b
wrote:

If you actually see a Plywood Lawn Deer, please post
the siting, date, time of day, weather conditions,
location (part of what state - ie. central Iowa, northern
South Carolina, southern North Carolina etc.), size
(in inches, feet or "hands"), number of "points" if any
and probable gender.

We mostly have plywood cows here which I guess are for feeding those
cowboys you see leaning against the building.

Mike O.

On Sat, 23 Dec 2006 09:40:18 -0500, (J T)
wrote:

Fri, Dec 22, 2006, 7:12pm (EST-3) (charlieÂ*b)
doth warn us thusly:
snip Their passing may be Mother Nature's way of warning us. Pukey
Ducks and Cat Push Sticks may be endangered species at this moment.
snip

Not if I have anything to say about it. Even as you read this I am
instigating federal protection for Pukey Ducks.

You'll be happy to hear that my town is already a pukey duck preserve.
Seems like every other house has something decidely pukey on prominent
display- everything from the classic leaning cowboy silouette to
vertiable herds of foam rubber deer accompanied by any number of other
plywood forest animals and old ladies' bottoms. There are also a lot
of "faces" nailed to trees.

But the guy across the street has achieved the absolute height of yard
art- a plastic nativity scene with a bald, black plywood Santa at
least twice as tall as the people around the manger leaning over the
baby while looking decidedly hungry. Behind that, a largish plywood
snowman is supervising the whole deal (presumably to make sure the
hungry Santa doesn't get riled up and eat the baby Jesus.) Kinda
makes me wish I had a camera, it's sheer genius.

But this raises another thing I've been wondering about... do chainsaw
bears count as pukey ducks as well? Does it add to the artistic value
when the neighbor has his chained around one leg and padlocked to the
porch railing?

charlie b wrote:
Well it seems it finally happened - the Plywood Lawn Deer
appears to have been hunted to extinction. Not too long
ago they were plentiful. A walk through the neighborhood,
a drive to the store, even on a trip to the airport, you'd
see at least one, often half a dozen or more. And their
numbers seemed to increase dramatically around this
time of year - the migration season I guess. Around
Halloweeen, most of the woodworking magazines would
have an article on them. A buzz about Plywood Lawn
Deer would start here and threads would go on for
weeks at a time. But this year . . .


Yes Virginia, there are Plywood Lawn Deer. They exist as certainly as
love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound
and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary
would be the world if there were no Plywood Lawn Deer! It would be as
dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS.

Plywood Lawn Deer are not extinct. They have merely migrated South.
Here, they are not a just a passing fad, but it seems they have found a
permanent place in the hearts of the native population. We love our
Plywood Lawn Deer so much that some allow them to frolic in the front
yard year-round! This may well be their ancestral home, for we still
occasionally see a few of their evolutionary forebearers, the Firewood
Lawn Deer with Fallen Branch Antlers.

No Plywood Lawn Deer! Thank GOD! They live, and live forever. A
thousand years from now, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now,
they will continue to make glad the hearts of folks everywhere.

DonkeyHody
With apologies to Francis Pharcellus Church

"charlie b" wrote in message
...
Well it seems it finally happened - the Plywood Lawn Deer
appears to have been hunted to extinction. Not too long
ago they were plentiful. A walk through the neighborhood,
a drive to the store, even on a trip to the airport, you'd
see at least one, often half a dozen or more. And their
numbers seemed to increase dramatically around this
time of year - the migration season I guess. Around
Halloweeen, most of the woodworking magazines would
have an article on them. A buzz about Plywood Lawn
Deer would start here and threads would go on for
weeks at a time. But this year . . .

Maybe they weren't hunted to extinction - but displaced


(snip) I don't need a plywood deer. Real ones feed off our lawn and
Russian Olive trees every day. Much more pleasing. W W

I got the last one around here a couple weeks ago. You should have seen the
faces of the others at the check station when I turned in the urban deer
tag. --dave


"charlie b" wrote in message
...
Well it seems it finally happened - the Plywood Lawn Deer
appears to have been hunted to extinction. Not too long
ago they were plentiful. A walk through the neighborhood,
a drive to the store, even on a trip to the airport, you'd
see at least one, often half a dozen or more. And their
numbers seemed to increase dramatically around this
time of year - the migration season I guess. Around
Halloweeen, most of the woodworking magazines would
have an article on them. A buzz about Plywood Lawn
Deer would start here and threads would go on for
weeks at a time. But this year . . .

Maybe they weren't hunted to extinction - but displaced
by the Wire Framed Tiny Lights Lawn Deer - a more
technologicly advanced species with which the Plywood
Lawn Deer could not compete.

Their passing may be Mother Nature's way of warning
us. Pukey Ducks and Cat Push Sticks may be endangered
species at this moment. No one really knows how many
are out there so we don't know if there's still a sustainable
population or not. There's almost no data on their
habitat requirements, food needs or their reproduction
rates. Hell, I can't find anything on their life span.

If you actually see a Plywood Lawn Deer, please post
the siting, date, time of day, weather conditions,
location (part of what state - ie. central Iowa, northern
South Carolina, southern North Carolina etc.), size
(in inches, feet or "hands"), number of "points" if any
and probable gender.

Maybe it's not too late for the Plywood Lawn Deer.
Time to mobilize, organize, start a lobbying group,
collect donations, take out full page ads in local
papers, start a speakers list and send it to all the
other organizations - Kiwanis, Elks, VFW - and
CHURCHES. Save one of God's creations from
extinction. On second thought, forget churches,
extinction would conflict with Intelligent Design.
What god would create something that couldn''t
fit in? Way too close to the E-word (Evolution).

Aw screw 'em. They were tough and splintery,
even the fat healthy ones.

Never mind.

charlie b

We need a slogan - something people will remember.
Save The Whale worked fairly well.

Sat, Dec 23, 2006, 12:16pm (EST-1)
(Prometheus) doth sayeth:
You'll be happy to hear that my town is already a pukey duck preserve.
snip
But this raises another thing I've been wondering about... do chainsaw
bears count as pukey ducks as well? Does it add to the artistic value
when the neighbor has his chained around one leg and padlocked to the
porch railing?

Perhaps I'm operating on a different level from others on this
subject.

I break it down to pukey ducks, which I'm dedicated to get federal
protection for. These are ducks. Not deer, not Santas, or any of the
other pukey stuff, just pukey ducks.

Then there's pukey yard art, which covers the plywood deer, plastic
flaminos, and all the rest of that ilk. This seems to be an alien
attempt to degrade our intelligence, and seems to be working. Some of
it has class, some doesn't, most doesn't.

Then there's chainsaw carvings. This can be a delicate subject.
Some of it's definite art. And some of it's just plain pukey yard art.
Sometimes very hard to differentiate. These have to be judged on an
individual basis. Hmm, that's be a good subject for our politicians,
should keep 'em busy for years. Personally, my chainsawn Tikis qualify
as art. Not great art perhaps, but art - they satisfy my sould, and
that's pretty much the definition of art.

As for the neighbor, you weren't really clear on that. Is it the
chainsaw, or the neighbor's leg, that's chained up?



JOAT
It's not hard, if you get your mind right.
- Granny Weatherwax

charlie b:

If you actually see a Plywood Lawn Deer, please post
the siting, date, time of day, weather conditions,
location (part of what state - ie. central Iowa, northern
South Carolina, southern North Carolina etc.), size
(in inches, feet or "hands"), number of "points" if any
and probable gender.

There's a "herd" of them on North High St, Sebastopol, CA.
We're about 45min north of the Golden Gate. Went by
too fast to count the "points", but they were spotted in
color - brown and black (?).

If anyone is around this area, it's near the Post Office.
Turn left off Willow to High and they should be right there.

I think there was group of six.

MJ Wallace