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| UK diy (uk.d-i-y) For the discussion of all topics related to diy (do-it-yourself) in the UK. All levels of experience and proficency are welcome to join in to ask questions or offer solutions. |
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#1
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Light relief
How a bout a joke or two as its Friday!
Q.How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to change a light bulb? A. DON'T ASK BLOODY STUPID QUESTIONS. IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR A MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB I WOULD BE SAT IN DARKNESS FOR A WEEK, THEN WHEN HE DID CHANGE IT HE WOULD LEAVE THE OLD BULB AND THE PACKAGING LYING AROUND FOR ME TO CLEAR UP.............. |
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#2
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Light relief
On 20/05/2016 15:17, Muddymike wrote:
How a bout a joke or two as its Friday! Q.How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to change a light bulb? A. DON'T ASK BLOODY STUPID QUESTIONS. IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR A MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB I WOULD BE SAT IN DARKNESS FOR A WEEK, THEN WHEN HE DID CHANGE IT HE WOULD LEAVE THE OLD BULB AND THE PACKAGING LYING AROUND FOR ME TO CLEAR UP.............. How many counsellors does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but really has to want to change |
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#3
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Light relief
"Muddymike" wrote in message
o.uk... How a bout a joke or two as its Friday! Q.How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to change a light bulb? A. DON'T ASK BLOODY STUPID QUESTIONS. IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR A MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB I WOULD BE SAT IN DARKNESS FOR A WEEK, THEN WHEN HE DID CHANGE IT HE WOULD LEAVE THE OLD BULB AND THE PACKAGING LYING AROUND FOR ME TO CLEAR UP.............. The correct answer is 6. -- Adam |
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#4
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Light relief
On 20/05/16 17:52, ARW wrote:
"Muddymike" wrote in message o.uk... How a bout a joke or two as its Friday! Q.How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to change a light bulb? A. DON'T ASK BLOODY STUPID QUESTIONS. IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR A MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB I WOULD BE SAT IN DARKNESS FOR A WEEK, THEN WHEN HE DID CHANGE IT HE WOULD LEAVE THE OLD BULB AND THE PACKAGING LYING AROUND FOR ME TO CLEAR UP.............. The correct answer is 6. ONLY A STUPID MAN WOULD SAY THAT -- "Anyone who believes that the laws of physics are mere social conventions is invited to try transgressing those conventions from the windows of my apartment. (I live on the twenty-first floor.) " Alan Sokal |
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#5
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Light relief
Muddymike wrote:
How a bout a joke or two as its Friday! Q.How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to change a light bulb? A. DON'T ASK BLOODY STUPID QUESTIONS. IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR A MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB I WOULD BE SAT IN DARKNESS FOR A WEEK, THEN WHEN HE DID CHANGE IT HE WOULD LEAVE THE OLD BULB AND THE PACKAGING LYING AROUND FOR ME TO CLEAR UP.............. All too familiar. Darling, would you mind not using a scouring pad to clean the stainless hob? FCUK OFF AND DO IT YOURSELF, THEN! Darling, do you need to put that small pan on the largest burner with all the flames going up the side? Etc. |
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#6
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Light relief
Dan S. MacAbre wrote:
Muddymike wrote: How a bout a joke or two as its Friday! Q.How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to change a light bulb? A. DON'T ASK BLOODY STUPID QUESTIONS. IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR A MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB I WOULD BE SAT IN DARKNESS FOR A WEEK, THEN WHEN HE DID CHANGE IT HE WOULD LEAVE THE OLD BULB AND THE PACKAGING LYING AROUND FOR ME TO CLEAR UP.............. All too familiar. Darling, would you mind not using a scouring pad to clean the stainless hob? FCUK OFF AND DO IT YOURSELF, THEN! Darling, do you need to put that small pan on the largest burner with all the flames going up the side? Etc. Yes. :-((( |
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#7
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Light relief
"Dan S. MacAbre" wrote in message ... Muddymike wrote: How a bout a joke or two as its Friday! Q.How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to change a light bulb? A. DON'T ASK BLOODY STUPID QUESTIONS. IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR A MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB I WOULD BE SAT IN DARKNESS FOR A WEEK, THEN WHEN HE DID CHANGE IT HE WOULD LEAVE THE OLD BULB AND THE PACKAGING LYING AROUND FOR ME TO CLEAR UP.............. All too familiar. Darling, would you mind not using a scouring pad to clean the stainless hob? FCUK OFF AND DO IT YOURSELF, THEN! Darling, do you need to put that small pan on the largest burner with all the flames going up the side? Etc. It amazes me what the other half finds important which I couldn't care less about. Who is right/wrong though. --- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: --- |
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#8
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Light relief
Darling, do you need to put that small pan on the largest burner with all the flames going up the side? Etc. Yes. :-((( Doing that ensures that the top gets heated as well as the bottom. It's obvious, really. |
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#9
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Light relief
Was that an ES or BC bulb?
Brian -- ----- - This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from... The Sofa of Brian Gaff... Blind user, so no pictures please! "Muddymike" wrote in message o.uk... How a bout a joke or two as its Friday! Q.How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to change a light bulb? A. DON'T ASK BLOODY STUPID QUESTIONS. IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR A MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB I WOULD BE SAT IN DARKNESS FOR A WEEK, THEN WHEN HE DID CHANGE IT HE WOULD LEAVE THE OLD BULB AND THE PACKAGING LYING AROUND FOR ME TO CLEAR UP.............. |
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#10
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Light relief
Of course light bulbs are now no longer used for lighting except it seems
inside microwaves and fridges. Brian -- ----- - This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from... The Sofa of Brian Gaff... Blind user, so no pictures please! "Malcolm Race" wrote in message ... On 20/05/2016 15:17, Muddymike wrote: How a bout a joke or two as its Friday! Q.How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to change a light bulb? A. DON'T ASK BLOODY STUPID QUESTIONS. IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR A MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB I WOULD BE SAT IN DARKNESS FOR A WEEK, THEN WHEN HE DID CHANGE IT HE WOULD LEAVE THE OLD BULB AND THE PACKAGING LYING AROUND FOR ME TO CLEAR UP.............. How many counsellors does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but really has to want to change |
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#12
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Light relief
Even odder, are the _drive-up_ ATMs with Braille keyboards...
On 5/20/2016 3:26 PM, Brian Gaff wrote: Silly situation not thought through number 2053 Why do councils bother to put on the bottom of their letters, if you cannot read this letter contact us on xxxxxx and we can supply iit in alternative format. I mean, if you cannot read it how can you read the note at thebottom but if you got somebody elseto read it by the time they got to that bit it would be a bit pointless getting it in another format. Brian |
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#13
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Light relief
bm wrote:
"Dan S. MacAbre" wrote in message ... Muddymike wrote: How a bout a joke or two as its Friday! Q.How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to change a light bulb? A. DON'T ASK BLOODY STUPID QUESTIONS. IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR A MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB I WOULD BE SAT IN DARKNESS FOR A WEEK, THEN WHEN HE DID CHANGE IT HE WOULD LEAVE THE OLD BULB AND THE PACKAGING LYING AROUND FOR ME TO CLEAR UP.............. All too familiar. Darling, would you mind not using a scouring pad to clean the stainless hob? FCUK OFF AND DO IT YOURSELF, THEN! Darling, do you need to put that small pan on the largest burner with all the flames going up the side? Etc. It amazes me what the other half finds important which I couldn't care less about. Who is right/wrong though. Regardless of whether something is important or not, doing it stupidly when you know better is wrong. IMO. -- Mike Barnes Cheshire, England |
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#14
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Light relief
On Fri, 20 May 2016 20:26:25 +0100, "Brian Gaff"
wrote: Silly situation not thought through number 2053 Why do councils bother to put on the bottom of their letters, if you cannot read this letter contact us on xxxxxx and we can supply iit in alternative format. I mean, if you cannot read it how can you read the note at thebottom but if you got somebody elseto read it by the time they got to that bit it would be a bit pointless getting it in another format. Brian Speaking of letters from councils. I got one last week, everybody in the area got one, it was about the "Potential impact on the neighbourhood" from a pop concert being held in the local municipal park. They were delivered in person on behalf of the council, no envelope, just a sheet put through the letterbox, but yet it wasn't a circular, I know this for a fact because it began May 2016 INFORMATION ABOUT PARKLIFE - THIS IS NOT A CIRCULAR -- Graham. %Profound_observation% |
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#15
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Light relief
On 21/05/2016 5:29 a.m., Dan S. MacAbre wrote:
Muddymike wrote: How a bout a joke or two as its Friday! Q.How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to change a light bulb? A. DON'T ASK BLOODY STUPID QUESTIONS. IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR A MAN TO CHANGE THE BULB I WOULD BE SAT IN DARKNESS FOR A WEEK, THEN WHEN HE DID CHANGE IT HE WOULD LEAVE THE OLD BULB AND THE PACKAGING LYING AROUND FOR ME TO CLEAR UP.............. All too familiar. Darling, would you mind not using a scouring pad to clean the stainless hob? FCUK OFF AND DO IT YOURSELF, THEN! Darling, do you need to put that small pan on the largest burner with all the flames going up the side? Etc. Spot on! |
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#16
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Light relief
"S Viemeister" wrote in message ... Even odder, are the _drive-up_ ATMs with Braille keyboards... Presumably that is the result of using the same keyboards everywhere. It makes no sense to have non Braille keyboards only in the ATMs that arent drive-up ATMs. On 5/20/2016 3:26 PM, Brian Gaff wrote: Silly situation not thought through number 2053 Why do councils bother to put on the bottom of their letters, if you cannot read this letter contact us on xxxxxx and we can supply iit in alternative format. I mean, if you cannot read it how can you read the note at thebottom but if you got somebody elseto read it by the time they got to that bit it would be a bit pointless getting it in another format. Brian |
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