Scottish First Minister
Nicola Sturgeon was touring Perthshire in the First Minister's chauffeur
driven car. Suddenly a cow jumped out into the road. They hit it full on and
the car comes to a stop.

Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and
check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that
the animal is dead.

"You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, "I can't afford to
be blamed for anything." The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse
and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a
big grin on his face.

"My goodness, what happened to you?" asks Nicola.
The chauffeur replies : "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle
of single malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made
love to me"
"What on earth did you say to them?" asks Nicola.
"I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said, 'I'm Nicola
Sturgeon's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow.'"

"harryagain" wrote in message
...
Scottish First Minister
Nicola Sturgeon was touring Perthshire in the First Minister's chauffeur
driven car. Suddenly a cow jumped out into the road. They hit it full on
and the car comes to a stop.

Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and
check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that
the animal is dead.

"You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, "I can't afford
to be blamed for anything." The chauffeur walks up the drive to the
farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled
and with a big grin on his face.

"My goodness, what happened to you?" asks Nicola.
The chauffeur replies : "When I got there, the farmer opened his best
bottle of single malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the
daughter made love to me"
"What on earth did you say to them?" asks Nicola.
"I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said, 'I'm Nicola
Sturgeon's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow.'"




tee hee....she is .......

In message , harryagain
writes

"I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said, 'I'm Nicola
Sturgeon's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow.'"

I like that :-)
--
Graeme, Aberdeenshire

"harryagain" wrote in message
...
Scottish First Minister
Nicola Sturgeon was touring Perthshire in the First Minister's chauffeur
driven car. Suddenly a cow jumped out into the road. They hit it full on
and the car comes to a stop.

Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and
check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that
the animal is dead.

"You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, "I can't afford
to be blamed for anything." The chauffeur walks up the drive to the
farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled
and with a big grin on his face.

"My goodness, what happened to you?" asks Nicola.
The chauffeur replies : "When I got there, the farmer opened his best
bottle of single malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the
daughter made love to me"
"What on earth did you say to them?" asks Nicola.
"I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said, 'I'm Nicola
Sturgeon's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow.'"

And prior to her it was told about Theresa May, Maggie Thatcher, Barbara
Castle etc all the way back to Anne Boelyn

I've only read that 20 or so times so far.
Surely there must be some new jokes.
Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"harryagain" wrote in message
...
Scottish First Minister
Nicola Sturgeon was touring Perthshire in the First Minister's chauffeur
driven car. Suddenly a cow jumped out into the road. They hit it full on
and the car comes to a stop.

Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and
check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that
the animal is dead.

"You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, "I can't afford
to be blamed for anything." The chauffeur walks up the drive to the
farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled
and with a big grin on his face.

"My goodness, what happened to you?" asks Nicola.
The chauffeur replies : "When I got there, the farmer opened his best
bottle of single malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the
daughter made love to me"
"What on earth did you say to them?" asks Nicola.
"I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said, 'I'm Nicola
Sturgeon's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow.'"

On 07/05/15 22:34, Brian-Gaff wrote:
I've only read that 20 or so times so far.
Surely there must be some new jokes.
Brian

Well there's alex salmond ...

--
Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for the
rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge. €“ Erwin Knoll