BOSTON, - Guard units seeking to confiscate a cache
of recently banned assault weapons were ambushed on April 19th by
elements of a para-military extremist faction. Military and law
enforcement sources estimated that 72 were killed and more than 20
injured before government forces were compelled to withdraw.

Speaking after the clash, Massachusetts Governor Thomas Gage declared
that the extremist faction, which was made up of local citizens, has
links to the radical right-wing tax protest movement. Gage blamed the
extremists for recent incidents of vandalism directed against
internal revenue offices.

The governor, who described the group's organizers as "criminals,"
issued an executive order authorizing the summary arrest of any
individual who has interfered with the government's efforts to secure
law and order.

The military raid on the extremist arsenal followed wide-spread
refusal by the local citizenry to turn over recently outlawed assault
weapons. Gage issued a ban on military-style assault weapons and
ammunition earlier in the week. This decision followed a meeting in
early April between government and military leaders at which the
governor authorized the forcible confiscation of illegal arms. One
government official, speaking on condition of anonymity, pointed out
that "none of these people would have been killed had the extremists
obeyed the law and turned their weapons over voluntarily."

"Government troops initially succeeded in confiscating a large supply
of outlawed weapons and ammunition. However, troops attempting to
seize arms and ammunition in Lexington met with resistance from
heavily-armed extremists who had been tipped off regarding the
government's plans.

During a tense standoff in Lexington's town park, National Guard
Colonel Francis Smith, commander of the government operation, ordered
the armed group to surrender and return to their homes. The impasse
was broken by a single shot, which was reportedly fired by one of the
right-wing extremists. Eight civilians were killed in the ensuing
exchange.

Ironically, the local citizenry blamed government forces rather than
the extremists for the civilian deaths. Before order could be
restored, armed citizens from surrounding areas had descended upon
the guard units. Colonel Smith, finding his forces overmatched by the
armed mob, ordered a retreat.

Governor Gage has called upon citizens to support the state/national
joint task force in its effort to restore law and order. The governor
has also demanded the surrender of those responsible for planning and
leading the attack against the government troops.

Samuel Adams, Paul Revere, and John Hancock, who have been identified
as "ringleaders" of the extremist faction, remain at large.

In article , Joseph Crabtree says...

BOSTON,

This was mildly amusing the first time. But the key to
humor is keeping it short and knowing when to stop. At
this point it becomes moronic.

Jim


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On 20 Apr 2005 17:11:54 -0700, jim rozen wrote:
In article , Joseph Crabtree says...

BOSTON,

This was mildly amusing the first time. But the key to
humor is keeping it short and knowing when to stop. At
this point it becomes moronic.

Hm, I saw it exactly twice - once here, and once on rec.guns (shrug?)
Or, is it more the content that makes you...uncomfortable, Jim?

In article , Dave Hinz says...

Hm, I saw it exactly twice - once here, and once on rec.guns (shrug?)
Or, is it more the content that makes you...uncomfortable, Jim?

I get a bit testy when the cutesy 'Oh, my - it was Paul Revere'
or the 'Boston Tea Party' posts keep wafting through. Typically
posted by somebody who wouldn't know a minuteman if the statue
hit him on the head.

Jim (who used to live on 'ol Paul's route, once a year they
would have the guy gallop on by on horseback. The liquor
store right there had the appropriate sign: "Paul Revere,
the Coldest Beer.)


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