Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit faster? I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.

--
She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.

On 29/04/2018 21:52, Roger Mills wrote:
On 29/04/2018 19:52, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit faster?
I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer the
doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.


A 'GT' model would certainly be useful to many people I know. At least
they'd then have a fighting chance of getting to the top of the stairs
before they forget what they've gone up there for.

Gremlins are needed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK30R1gsgGk

--
Adam

On 29/04/2018 19:52, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit faster?
I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer the
doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.


A 'GT' model would certainly be useful to many people I know. At least
they'd then have a fighting chance of getting to the top of the stairs
before they forget what they've gone up there for.
--
Cheers,
Roger
____________
Please reply to Newsgroup. Whilst email address is valid, it is seldom
checked.

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 19:52:29 +0100, Birdbrain Macaw (now "James Wilkinson"),
the pathological attention whore of all the uk ngs, blathered again:

FLUSH the abnormal attention whore's latest idiotic attention-baiting
BULL**** unread again


--
about Birdbrain Macaw's (now "James Wilkinson" LOL)
trolling:
"He is a well known attention seeking troll and every reply you
make feeds him.
Starts many threads most of which die quick as on the UK groups anyone
with sense Kill filed him ages ago which is why he now cross posts to
the US groups for a new audience.
This thread was unusual in that it derived and continued without him
to a large extent and his silly questioning is an attempt to get
noticed again."
MID:

--
ItsJoanNotJoann addressing Birdbrain Macaw's (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"You're an annoying troll and I'm done with you and your
stupidity."
MID:

--
AndyW addressing Birdbrain:
"Troll or idiot?...
You have been presented with a viewpoint with information, reasoning,
historical cases, citations and references to back it up and wilfully
ignore all going back to your idea which has no supporting information."
MID:

--
Phil Lee adressing Birdbrain Macaw:
"You are too stupid to be wasting oxygen."
MID:

--
Phil Lee describing Birdbrain Macaw:
"I've never seen such misplaced pride in being a ****ing moronic motorist."
MID:

--
Tony944 addressing Birdbrain Macaw:
"I seen and heard many people but you are on top of list being first class
ass hole jerk. ...You fit under unconditional Idiot and should be put in
mental institution.
MID:

--
Pelican to Birdbrain Macaw:
"Ok. I'm persuaded . You are an idiot."
MID:

--
DerbyDad03 addressing Birdbrain Macaw (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"Frigging Idiot. Get the hell out of my thread."
MID:

--
Kerr Mudd-John about Birdbrain Macaw (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"It's like arguing with a demented frog."
MID:

--
Mr Pounder Esquire about Birdbrain Macaw (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"the **** poor delivery boy with no hot running water, 11 cats and
several parrots living in his hovel."
MID:

--
Rob Morley about Birdbrain:
"He's a perennial idiot"
MID: 20170519215057.56a1f1d4@Mars

--
JoeyDee to Birdbrain
"I apologize for thinking you were a jerk. You're just someone with an IQ
lower than your age, and I accept that as a reason for your comments."
MID: l-september.org

--
Sam Plusnet about Birdbrain (now "James Wilkinson Sword" LOL):
"He's just desperate to be noticed. Any attention will do, no matter how
negative it may be."
MID:

--
asking Birdbrain:
"What, were you dropped on your head as a child?"
MID:

--
Christie addressing endlessly driveling Birdbrain Macaw (now "James
Wilkinson" LOL):
"What are you resurrecting that old post of mine for? It's from last
month some time. You're like a dog who's just dug up an old bone they
hid in the garden until they were ready to have another go at it."
MID:

--
Mr Pounder's fitting description of Birdbrain Macaw:
"You are a well known fool, a tosser, a pillock, a stupid unemployable
sponging failure who will always live alone and will die alone. You will not
be missed."
MID:

--
Richard to pathetic ****** Hucker:
"You haven't bred?
Only useful thing you've done in your pathetic existence."
MID:

--
about Birdbrain (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
""not the sharpest knife in the drawer"'s parents sure made a serious
mistake having him born alive -- A total waste of oxygen, food, space,
and bandwidth."
MID:

--
Mr Pounder exposing sociopathic Birdbrain:
"You will always be a lonely sociopath living in a ******** with no hot
running water with loads of stinking cats and a few parrots."
MID:

--
francis about Birdbrain (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"He seems to have a reputation as someone of limited intelligence"
MID:

--
Peter Moylan about Birdbrain (now "James Wilkinson" LOL):
"If people like JWS didn't exist, we would have to find some other way to
explain the concept of "invincible ignorance"."
MID:

On 29/04/2018 21:53, Peeler wrote:
On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 19:52:29 +0100, Birdbrain Macaw (now "James Wilkinson"),
the pathological attention whore of all the uk ngs, blathered again:

FLUSH the abnormal attention whore's latest idiotic attention-baiting
BULL**** unread again



How many wanks do you get out of your replies?

--
Adam

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 21:52:07 +0100, Roger Mills, another mentally deficient,
troll-feeding retard, blathered:

A 'GT' model would certainly be useful to many people I know. At least
they'd then have a fighting chance of getting to the top of the stairs
before they forget what they've gone up there for.

....and the first idiot appeard to take the abnormal attention whore's latest
idiotic bait! LOL

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 21:51:59 +0100, ARW wrote:

On 29/04/2018 21:52, Roger Mills wrote:
On 29/04/2018 19:52, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit faster?
I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer the
doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.


A 'GT' model would certainly be useful to many people I know. At least
they'd then have a fighting chance of getting to the top of the stairs
before they forget what they've gone up there for.

Gremlins are needed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK30R1gsgGk

ROTFPMSL!

Except in the UK, those pigs would have locked her up for speeding across a public highway. Did you know they actually go after old people going 8mph on the pavement on mobility scooters? Apparently you can only go 4mph on the pavement, with an 8mph (like that's really really fast) scooter you must use the road, while trying to avoid 30mph cars.

--
Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 21:52:07 +0100, Roger Mills wrote:

On 29/04/2018 19:52, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit faster?
I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer the
doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.

A 'GT' model would certainly be useful to many people I know. At least
they'd then have a fighting chance of getting to the top of the stairs
before they forget what they've gone up there for.

Or before their bladder or bowels beat them to it.

--
I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately!

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 22:39:45 +0100, ARW, another notorious troll-feeding
idiot, blathered:


FLUSH the abnormal attention whore's latest idiotic attention-baiting
BULL**** unread again


How many wanks do you get out of your replies?

You felt personally addressed when "troll-feeding idiot" was mentioned, you
pathetic sucker of troll cock? GOOD!

On 4/29/2018 2:52 PM, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go.* Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit
faster?* I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer
the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway!* There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.


Easy to do, just change the drive to a more powerful motor and different
gearbox.

On 04/29/2018 03:46 PM, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 21:51:59 +0100, ARW
wrote:

On 29/04/2018 21:52, Roger Mills wrote:
On 29/04/2018 19:52, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit faster?
I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer the
doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.


A 'GT' model would certainly be useful to many people I know. At least
they'd then have a fighting chance of getting to the top of the stairs
before they forget what they've gone up there for.

Gremlins are needed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK30R1gsgGk

ROTFPMSL!

Except in the UK, those pigs would have locked her up for speeding
across a public highway. Did you know they actually go after old people
going 8mph on the pavement on mobility scooters? Apparently you can
only go 4mph on the pavement, with an 8mph (like that's really really
fast) scooter you must use the road, while trying to avoid 30mph cars.


Do you have to run in the road too?

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 16:54:01 -0600, lowbrowman, yet another endlessly
driveling senile idiot, blabbered again:



Do you have to run in the road too?

Do you have to suck him off EVERY time the Scottish ****** sets out a bait
for you, lowbrowman? BG

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 18:43:01 -0400, Ed Pawlowski, the notorious,
troll-feeding retard, blabbered:

Easy to do, just change the drive to a more powerful motor and different
gearbox.

And the next mentally deficient, troll-feeding Yankietard appeared to suck
off the unwashed gay Scottish ******! LOL

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 18:43:01 -0400, Ed Pawlowski wrote:

On 4/29/2018 2:52 PM, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go.* Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit
faster?* I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer
the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway!* There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.


Easy to do, just change the drive to a more powerful motor and different
gearbox.
Even simpler. Replace the 12 volt battery on it with a 24 volt - and
replace the charger as well. They virtually ALL run on the battery.
With a 24 volt system you might need a speed control unit as well.

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 23:54:01 +0100, rbowman wrote:

On 04/29/2018 03:46 PM, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 21:51:59 +0100, ARW
wrote:

On 29/04/2018 21:52, Roger Mills wrote:
On 29/04/2018 19:52, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit faster?
I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer the
doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.


A 'GT' model would certainly be useful to many people I know. At least
they'd then have a fighting chance of getting to the top of the stairs
before they forget what they've gone up there for.

Gremlins are needed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK30R1gsgGk

ROTFPMSL!

Except in the UK, those pigs would have locked her up for speeding
across a public highway. Did you know they actually go after old people
going 8mph on the pavement on mobility scooters? Apparently you can
only go 4mph on the pavement, with an 8mph (like that's really really
fast) scooter you must use the road, while trying to avoid 30mph cars..


Do you have to run in the road too?

No, but I can exceed 8mph running, as can most people. Our laws are beyond a joke.

Mind you, we don't have "jaywalking".

--
While most Americans believe that getting rid of religion is an impossible goal, much of the developed world has already accomplished it. Any account of a €�god gene€œ that causes the majority of Americans to helplessly organize their lives around ancient works of religious fiction must explain why so many inhabitants of other First World societies apparently lack such a gene. The level of atheism throughout the rest of the developed world refutes any argument that religion is somehow a moral necessity. Countries like Norway, Iceland, Australia, Canada, Sweden, Switzerland, Belgium, Japan, the Netherlands, Denmark and the United Kingdom are among the least religious societies on Earth. According to the United Nations Human Development Report (2005) they are also the healthiest, as indicated by measures of life expectancy, adult literacy, per capita income, educational attainment, gender equality, homicide rate and infant mortality. Conversely, the 50 nations now ranked lowest in
terms of human development are unwaveringly religious.
--Sam Harris (An Atheist Manifesto)

On Mon, 30 Apr 2018 00:05:29 +0100, Clare Snyder wrote:

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 18:43:01 -0400, Ed Pawlowski wrote:

On 4/29/2018 2:52 PM, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit
faster? I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer
the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.

Easy to do, just change the drive to a more powerful motor and different
gearbox.
Even simpler. Replace the 12 volt battery on it with a 24 volt - and
replace the charger as well. They virtually ALL run on the battery.
With a 24 volt system you might need a speed control unit as well.

So this 12 volt motor wouldn't care it was giving out way more power than it was designed to? That did actually work with a radio controlled car I had as a kid, but it was a top of the range motor. The original burned out (on the correct voltage) just because it got bogged down in long grass. I don't think an old person wants to be sat in a chair that's on fire halfway up the stairs.

--
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkas saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexists. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!

On Mon, 30 Apr 2018 00:05:29 +0100, Clare Snyder wrote:

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 18:43:01 -0400, Ed Pawlowski wrote:

On 4/29/2018 2:52 PM, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit
faster? I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer
the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.


Easy to do, just change the drive to a more powerful motor and different
gearbox.
Even simpler. Replace the 12 volt battery on it with a 24 volt - and
replace the charger as well. They virtually ALL run on the battery.
With a 24 volt system you might need a speed control unit as well.

STOP ALTERING THE ****ING NEWSGROUP LINE!!! TROLL!!!

--
Britney Spears is pregnant. She plans to breast feed.
In other words, the child will have an abundant supply of artificial milk.

Jimmy Wilkinson Knife posted for all of us...



Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit faster? I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.

220, 221, whatever it takes. (Mister Mom)

--
Tekkie

Jimmy Wilkinson Knife posted for all of us...



On Mon, 30 Apr 2018 00:05:29 +0100, Clare Snyder wrote:

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 18:43:01 -0400, Ed Pawlowski wrote:

On 4/29/2018 2:52 PM, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit
faster? I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer
the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.


Easy to do, just change the drive to a more powerful motor and different
gearbox.
Even simpler. Replace the 12 volt battery on it with a 24 volt - and
replace the charger as well. They virtually ALL run on the battery.
With a 24 volt system you might need a speed control unit as well.

STOP ALTERING THE ****ING NEWSGROUP LINE!!! TROLL!!!

Listen Mr unsharp he didn't do it. Like usual you don't have your head
screwed on tight.

--
Tekkie

On Mon, 30 Apr 2018 20:26:35 +0100, Tekkie® wrote:

Jimmy Wilkinson Knife posted for all of us...



Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit faster? I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.

220, 221, whatever it takes. (Mister Mom)

?

--
Then there was the Eskimo girl who spent the night with her
boyfriend and next morning found she was six months pregnant.

On Mon, 30 Apr 2018 20:29:05 +0100, Tekkie® wrote:

Jimmy Wilkinson Knife posted for all of us...



On Mon, 30 Apr 2018 00:05:29 +0100, Clare Snyder wrote:

On Sun, 29 Apr 2018 18:43:01 -0400, Ed Pawlowski wrote:

On 4/29/2018 2:52 PM, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit
faster? I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer
the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.


Easy to do, just change the drive to a more powerful motor and different
gearbox.
Even simpler. Replace the 12 volt battery on it with a 24 volt - and
replace the charger as well. They virtually ALL run on the battery.
With a 24 volt system you might need a speed control unit as well.

STOP ALTERING THE ****ING NEWSGROUP LINE!!! TROLL!!!

Listen Mr unsharp he didn't do it. Like usual you don't have your head
screwed on tight.

She (since when was Clare a bloke's name?) most certainly did.

--
Then there was the Eskimo girl who spent the night with her
boyfriend and next morning found she was six months pregnant.

On 4/29/2018 7:52 PM, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go.* Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit
faster?* I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer
the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway!* There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.

They speeded one up in the film Gremlins. It didn't end well.

On Tue, 01 May 2018 18:26:24 +0100, Me wrote:

On 4/29/2018 7:52 PM, Jimmy Wilkinson Knife wrote:
Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they
go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit
faster? I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer
the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the
things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in
making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.

They speeded one up in the film Gremlins. It didn't end well.

There's a happy medium. You wouldn't buy a mobility scooter that was slower than walking speed.

--
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

On Tue, 1 May 2018 18:26:24 +0100, Me, another mentally deficient,
troll-feeding idiot, driveled:



They speeded one up in the film Gremlins. It didn't end well.

Yes, idiot, THAT's the way to feed the gay Scottish ******! tsk

replying to Jimmy Wilkinson Knife, Gene R wrote:
If you are trying to use the bathroom on a different floor you could wet
yourself by the time you travel one flight of stairs. I think one or two miles
per hour is a reasonable speed to expect from a chairlift.


--
for full context, visit https://www.homeownershub.com/uk-diy...t-1383995-.htm

replying to Jimmy Wilkinson Knife, Goslow wrote:
The configuration of the rail for a curved stairlift is key. The first
Ascending string has to be long enough to reach the first landing In one piece
and the same applies to the descending one to the first landing then it
requires just one curved piece to join the two. The seat shouldnt tip over
the stairs which feels quite alarming. Lazy installers looking to save money
will just use a standard length rail and just add pieces of rail to fit which
slows down the seat if not stop It altogether at each intersection making the
ride excruciatingly slow.

--
for full context, visit https://www.homeownershub.com/uk-diy...t-1383995-.htm