Every old person I know with a stairlift is ****ed off at how slow they go. Does anyone have experience of making these things go a bit faster? I mean picture an old person trying to get downstairs to answer the doorbell, shouting "just a minute!" or more precisely "just an hour!"

I know they don't want to be going so fast as they'd fall off, but the things have ****ing seatbelts on them anyway! There'd be no harm in making them go walking speed, with a gradual start.

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She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.