We had a naked Superbowl party at our home. Everyone who came to
watch the game was required to bring food, being booze, and get naked
as soon as they got in the house. This was just people we knew, not a
public party. At half time, my drunk husband went to the refrigerator
to get beer, and slammed the door of the fridge on his penis. Ever
since he's been in a lot of pain, his dick is all swelled up, and
looks bad. Someone oferred to take him to the hospital but he said he
didnt want to miss the game and would just drink more booze to ease
the pain. In the 4th quarter he wrapped it in ice with his t-shirt
and poured some vodka on it to ease the pain. Now he cant sleep and
said he thinks he broke it. Is that possible? Should I put a splint
on it and wrap it with tape? He seems to be in a lot of pain, but he
just put ice and vodka on it again, and is drinking more vodka for the
pain. What should he do? He even told me to put on some pajamas so
he dont get an erection. That's not like him.

Sue

On Feb 7, 4:35 am, wrote:
At half time, my drunk husband went to the refrigerator
to get beer, and slammed the door of the fridge on his penis.

Andy comments:

Yeah... I hate it when that happens ........................

On 2/7/2011 5:35 AM, wrote:
We had a naked Superbowl party at our home. Everyone who came to
watch the game was required to bring food, being booze, and get naked
as soon as they got in the house. This was just people we knew, not a
public party. At half time, my drunk husband went to the refrigerator
to get beer, and slammed the door of the fridge on his penis. Ever
since he's been in a lot of pain, his dick is all swelled up, and
looks bad. Someone oferred to take him to the hospital but he said he
didnt want to miss the game and would just drink more booze to ease
the pain. In the 4th quarter he wrapped it in ice with his t-shirt
and poured some vodka on it to ease the pain. Now he cant sleep and
said he thinks he broke it. Is that possible? Should I put a splint
on it and wrap it with tape? He seems to be in a lot of pain, but he
just put ice and vodka on it again, and is drinking more vodka for the
pain. What should he do? He even told me to put on some pajamas so
he dont get an erection. That's not like him.

Sue

If this posting is not a hoax, you should take him immediately to an
E.R. and have them summon a urologist. He may have sustained a serious
internal bleed. If this is not properly treated, the injury may result
in permanent impotence.

On Mon, 07 Feb 2011 08:02:27 -0500, Peter wrote Re
Terrible Superbowl Accident:

If this posting is not a hoax,

That was funnier than the original post! :-)
--
Work is the curse of the drinking class.

This calls for immediate amputation. To save the life of the
patient, and the mother.

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


"Caesar Romano" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 07 Feb 2011 08:02:27 -0500, Peter
wrote Re
Terrible Superbowl Accident:

If this posting is not a hoax,

That was funnier than the original post! :-)
--
Work is the curse of the drinking class.

I wonder if Dr. Lorena Bobbit makes house calls? You should
call.
1-800-BOBBIT. It's for the children.

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


wrote in message
...
We had a naked Superbowl party at our home. Everyone who
came to
watch the game was required to bring food, being booze, and
get naked
as soon as they got in the house. This was just people we
knew, not a
public party. At half time, my drunk husband went to the
refrigerator
to get beer, and slammed the door of the fridge on his
penis. Ever
since he's been in a lot of pain, his dick is all swelled
up, and
looks bad. Someone oferred to take him to the hospital but
he said he
didnt want to miss the game and would just drink more booze
to ease
the pain. In the 4th quarter he wrapped it in ice with his
t-shirt
and poured some vodka on it to ease the pain. Now he cant
sleep and
said he thinks he broke it. Is that possible? Should I put
a splint
on it and wrap it with tape? He seems to be in a lot of
pain, but he
just put ice and vodka on it again, and is drinking more
vodka for the
pain. What should he do? He even told me to put on some
pajamas so
he dont get an erection. That's not like him.

Sue

On Mon, 07 Feb 2011 04:35:19 -0600, wrote:

We had a naked Superbowl party at our home. Everyone who came to
watch the game was required to bring food, being booze, and get naked
as soon as they got in the house. This was just people we knew, not a
public party. At half time, my drunk husband went to the refrigerator
to get beer, and slammed the door of the fridge on his penis. Ever
since he's been in a lot of pain, his dick is all swelled up, and
looks bad. Someone oferred to take him to the hospital but he said he
didnt want to miss the game and would just drink more booze to ease
the pain. In the 4th quarter he wrapped it in ice with his t-shirt
and poured some vodka on it to ease the pain. Now he cant sleep and
said he thinks he broke it. Is that possible? Should I put a splint
on it and wrap it with tape? He seems to be in a lot of pain, but he
just put ice and vodka on it again, and is drinking more vodka for the
pain. What should he do? He even told me to put on some pajamas so
he dont get an erection. That's not like him.

Sue

Use vice grips for the splint and duct tape is wonderful for holding it in
place.

Andy wrote:

On Feb 7, 4:35 am, wrote:
At half time, my drunk husband went to the refrigerator
to get beer, and slammed the door of the fridge on his penis.

Andy comments:

Yeah... I hate it when that happens ........................

You too? Man, it's rough g.

On Feb 7, 2:35*am, wrote:
We had a naked Superbowl party at our home. *Everyone who came to
watch the game was required to bring food, being booze, and get naked
as soon as they got in the house. *This was just people we knew, not a
public party. *At half time, my drunk husband went to the refrigerator
to get beer, and slammed the door of the fridge on his penis. *Ever
since he's been in a lot of pain, his dick is all swelled up, and
looks bad. *Someone oferred to take him to the hospital but he said he
didnt want to miss the game and would just drink more booze to ease
the pain. *In the 4th quarter he wrapped it in ice with his t-shirt
and poured some vodka on it to ease the pain. *Now he cant sleep and
said he thinks he broke it. *Is that possible? *Should I put a splint
on it and wrap it with tape? *He seems to be in a lot of pain, but he
just put ice and vodka on it again, and is drinking more vodka for the
pain. *What should he do? *He even told me to put on some pajamas so
he dont get an erection. *That's not like him.

Sue

Be sure to take advantage of the swelling before taking him to the
doc.

Harry K

On 2/7/2011 5:02 AM Peter spake thus:

On 2/7/2011 5:35 AM, wrote:

[snip obvious tomfoolery]

If this posting is not a hoax, you should take him immediately to an
E.R. and have them summon a urologist. He may have sustained a serious
internal bleed. If this is not properly treated, the injury may result
in permanent impotence.

Regarding that last statement: one can only hope.


--
Comment on quaint Usenet customs, from Usenet:

To me, the *plonk...* reminds me of the old man at the public hearing
who stands to make his point, then removes his hearing aid as a sign
that he is not going to hear any rebuttals.

On Feb 7, 1:02*pm, Peter wrote:
On 2/7/2011 5:35 AM, wrote:



We had a naked Superbowl party at our home. *Everyone who came to
watch the game was required to bring food, being booze, and get naked
as soon as they got in the house. *This was just people we knew, not a
public party. *At half time, my drunk husband went to the refrigerator
to get beer, and slammed the door of the fridge on his penis. *Ever
since he's been in a lot of pain, his dick is all swelled up, and
looks bad. *Someone oferred to take him to the hospital but he said he
didnt want to miss the game and would just drink more booze to ease
the pain. *In the 4th quarter he wrapped it in ice with his t-shirt
and poured some vodka on it to ease the pain. *Now he cant sleep and
said he thinks he broke it. *Is that possible? *Should I put a splint
on it and wrap it with tape? *He seems to be in a lot of pain, but he
just put ice and vodka on it again, and is drinking more vodka for the
pain. *What should he do? *He even told me to put on some pajamas so
he dont get an erection. *That's not like him.

Sue

If this posting is not a hoax, you should take him immediately to an
E.R. and have them summon a urologist. *He may have sustained a serious
internal bleed. *If this is not properly treated, the injury may result
in permanent impotence.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

I would say amputation is the next step. Hey or how about a sex
change?
You could advise hime to wear a condon with a homoepathic antiseptic
ointment inside.

On Feb 7, 10:35*am, wrote:
We had a naked Superbowl party at our home. *Everyone who came to
watch the game was required to bring food, being booze, and get naked
as soon as they got in the house. *This was just people we knew, not a
public party. *At half time, my drunk husband went to the refrigerator
to get beer, and slammed the door of the fridge on his penis. *Ever
since he's been in a lot of pain, his dick is all swelled up, and
looks bad. *Someone oferred to take him to the hospital but he said he
didnt want to miss the game and would just drink more booze to ease
the pain. *In the 4th quarter he wrapped it in ice with his t-shirt
and poured some vodka on it to ease the pain. *Now he cant sleep and
said he thinks he broke it. *Is that possible? *Should I put a splint
on it and wrap it with tape? *He seems to be in a lot of pain, but he
just put ice and vodka on it again, and is drinking more vodka for the
pain. *What should he do? *He even told me to put on some pajamas so
he dont get an erection. *That's not like him.

Sue

Is this part of the American Screwball cult? Or was that super
ball? Super ********?

Caesar Romano wrote in
:

On Mon, 07 Feb 2011 08:02:27 -0500, Peter wrote Re
Terrible Superbowl Accident:

If this posting is not a hoax,

That was funnier than the original post! :-)

Yea but considering his Handle, probably an expert.

On 2/9/2011 10:21 AM, Red Green wrote:
Caesar wrote in
:

On Mon, 07 Feb 2011 08:02:27 -0500, wrote Re
Terrible Superbowl Accident:

If this posting is not a hoax,

That was funnier than the original post! :-)

Yea but considering his Handle, probably an expert.

Very clever! No personal experience, but I am a retired physician.

Local anaesthetic, with about a 14 gage needle, and then
amputation?

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


"Peter"
wrote in message ...

Very clever! No personal experience, but I am a retired
physician.

Peter wrote in :

On 2/9/2011 10:21 AM, Red Green wrote:
Caesar wrote in
:

On Mon, 07 Feb 2011 08:02:27 -0500, wrote Re
Terrible Superbowl Accident:

If this posting is not a hoax,

That was funnier than the original post! :-)

Yea but considering his Handle, probably an expert.

Very clever! No personal experience, but I am a retired physician.

Just fun. No malice intended.

Regardless of your former field, "The Assman" episode of Seinfeld must have
been a good one for you. Don't have to be in the medical field to
appreciate that one though. The only thing I know about medical is nobody
gets out alive.

On 2/10/2011 9:06 AM, Red Green wrote:
wrote in :

On 2/9/2011 10:21 AM, Red Green wrote:
Caesar wrote in
:

On Mon, 07 Feb 2011 08:02:27 -0500, wrote Re
Terrible Superbowl Accident:

If this posting is not a hoax,

That was funnier than the original post! :-)

Yea but considering his Handle, probably an expert.

Very clever! No personal experience, but I am a retired physician.

Just fun. No malice intended.

Regardless of your former field, "The Assman" episode of Seinfeld must have
been a good one for you. Don't have to be in the medical field to
appreciate that one though. The only thing I know about medical is nobody
gets out alive.
No malice taken. I enjoy good medical humor as well as the next guy
(that Seinfeld episode was wonderful!). As an aside, I have no patience
for any of the TV shows based on medical practice. They relate to real
life within the profession about as well as metaphysics relates to
physics. I'm sure the lawyers feel the same way watching the legal
shows, etc.

Peter wrote in :

On 2/10/2011 9:06 AM, Red Green wrote:
wrote in
:

On 2/9/2011 10:21 AM, Red Green wrote:
Caesar wrote in
:

On Mon, 07 Feb 2011 08:02:27 -0500,
wrote Re Terrible Superbowl Accident:

If this posting is not a hoax,

That was funnier than the original post! :-)

Yea but considering his Handle, probably an expert.

Very clever! No personal experience, but I am a retired physician.

Just fun. No malice intended.

Regardless of your former field, "The Assman" episode of Seinfeld
must have been a good one for you. Don't have to be in the medical
field to appreciate that one though. The only thing I know about
medical is nobody gets out alive.
No malice taken. I enjoy good medical humor as well as the next guy
(that Seinfeld episode was wonderful!). As an aside, I have no
patience for any of the TV shows based on medical practice. They
relate to real life within the profession about as well as metaphysics
relates to physics. I'm sure the lawyers feel the same way watching
the legal shows, etc.


Had me rolling when Kramer has the Assman plate on his parked car and
found the note on the windshield. Read something like "I think I have
what you want..." along with shape measurements of which the last number
was frikkin huge.