SWMBO bought a hamburger press at Harbor Freight last weekend. So I'm getting
ready to use it... unpack it... to find "Assembly and Operating Instructions".
(WTF?? It's a hamburger press, for Pete's sake!)

The following is directly quoted from that document:

Safety Warnings and Precautions

WARNING: When using Hamburger Press, basic safety precautions should always be
followed to reduce the risk of personal injury and damage to equipment. Read
all instructions before using this product!

1. Avoid working alone. If an accident happens, an assistant can bring help.
[...]
4. Keep children away. Children must never be allowed in the cooking area. Do
not let them handle Hamburger Press.
5. Store idle equipment. When not in use, Hamburger Press must be stored in a
dry location to inhibit rust. Always lock up Hamburger Press and keep out of
reach of children.
[...]
7. Maintain Press with care. Inspect Hamburger Press periodically and, if
damaged, have it repaired by an authorized technician.
8. Use the right Press for the job. Do not attempt to force a small Hamburger
Press or attachment to do the work of a larger industrial Hamburger Press.
There are certain applications for which this Hamburger Press was designed. Do
not modify this Hamburger Press and do not use the Hamburger Press for a
purpose for which it was not intended.
9. Stay alert. Watch what you are doing, use common sense. Do not operate
Hamburger Press when you are tired.
[...]
11. Do not operate Hamburger Press if under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
Read warning labels on prescriptions to determine if your judgment or reflexes
are impaired while taking drugs. If there is any doubt, do not operate
Hamburger Press.