To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over
all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does
not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America
without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you
noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:
(You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as "colour", "favour",
"labour"and "neighbour." Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut"
without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by
the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary
to acceptable levels. (look up "vocabulary").
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as
"like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft
know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
into account the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of -ize.
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or
therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that
you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for
shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or
speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more
dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you
wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will
go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion
tables.
Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense
of humour.
8. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are
not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are
properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and
dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer
at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,
and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as
Lager. Australian beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the
greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They
are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them.
American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all
can be sold without risk of further confusion.
11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English
characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four
Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed
with a cheese grater.
12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in
time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American
football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try rugby -
the Aussies, South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly
thrash us.
13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.
14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies
due (backdated to 1776).
16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers,
and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus
strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!

Couldn't be much worse! lol
new rules.

1. our pronunciation, or your spelling, to-may-to, to-mah-to.
2. Fine, given what IM has done to spelling, good luck with this.
3. Like, agreed, you know?
4. Do we still get the day off?
5. The fact that you wrote 'lawyers' instead of 'barristers' renders this
point moot.
7. ok.
9. so it's semantics? re vinegar: has it's uses, but putting it on crisps
ain't one of them.
10. You're gonna improve our beer? Well gosh, if you feel you must....
11. You're bringing up Andie? What about Costner's 50 seconds worth of an
English accent in Robin Hood?
12. We got a problem here.
13. If you have a problem with it being called the World Series, field a
team.
14. see 15
15. Sure, it'll only cost you the answer to 14.
16. We've already started with the TEA parties, haven't you noticed?


"diggerop" toobusy@themoment wrote in message
. au...
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she
does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America
without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of
you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:
(You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as "colour", "favour",
"labour"and "neighbour." Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut"
without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced
by the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your
vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up "vocabulary").
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such
as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft
know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
into account the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of -ize.
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers,
or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows
that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used
for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or
speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more
dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if
you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will
go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion
tables.
Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British
sense of humour.
8. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips
are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat,
and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as
beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred
to as Lager. Australian beer is also acceptable as they are pound for
pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the
beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for
them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so
that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play
English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in
"Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears
removed with a cheese grater.
12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in
time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American
football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try
rugby - the Aussies, South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they
regularly thrash us.
13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host
an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.
14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all
monies due (backdated to 1776).
16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers,
and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus
strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!

No disrespect to your monarch, But We Americans would rather die than be
ruled by a monarchy.(except republicans who would rather anoint the
Incompetent Sarah Palin over you very nice doddering old lady
Elizabeth)Remember we fought a war about this in the year 1776?(we won) .



Len

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:22:49 +0800, "diggerop" toobusy@themoment
wrote:

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.
13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.

Sorry, you seem to have a very narrow world view. Japan as well as
countries in South America also play baseball. Or did you fail to
notice because none of them are former colonies?

The metric system was adopted quite a number of years ago (please
check your history of American legislation) but lost out in the
marketplace to traditional "English" measurements.

Roundabouts work in some places, but those with more than two lanes
should be banned, even in the UK. I drove 1100 miles in two weeks in
the UK a few years ago and found that road signs were horrible
(covered by trees, listing only the next little hamlet - never some
larger city 50 miles away) and the M roads were a poor second to the
US Interstate highway system - a comment I also received from some UK
locals who had driven in the US. Their drive from Las Vegas, Nevada,
to San Francisco, California was 572 miles - note that this is a one
day drive (8 hours, 45 minutes). I don't know of any route in the UK
where you can maintain highway speed for hours; the M roads suffer
from "no-see-ums", where the traffic just stops for some period of
time and there is no evidence of an accident anywhere in the next 50
miles. My vote for the "no-see-ums" is a couple of truck (sorry,
lorry) drivers getting out to settle some disagreement along the side
of the road...

A lot of us are still armed and ready to take to the woods to decimate
the Red Coats from concealed locations. I can buy ammunition (without
any ID - except my gray hair) at the WalMart that's just a little over
a mile away. With less than an hour's warning, I can have a weapon at
every vantage point and a couple hundred rounds for each weapon. You
lost the war two hundred years ago. Are you sure you want to fight
again?

John

said:

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:22:49 +0800, "diggerop" toobusy@themoment
wrote:

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.
13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.

Sorry, you seem to have a very narrow world view....

It's a joke, mate.


Greg G.

"Len" wrote in message
...
No disrespect to your monarch,

Heh. Disrespect for the monarchy is our national passtime.


But We Americans would rather die than be ruled by a monarchy.(except
republicans who would rather anoint the Incompetent Sarah Palin over you
very nice doddering old lady Elizabeth)Remember we fought a war about this
in the year 1776?(we won) .


I'd heard you lot got a bit tetchy back then.
We've got a better solution. We took the game they invented (cricket) and we
thrash them at it on a regular basis. (Once in a while we let them win one,
just enough to keep them trying.)
As you found out, giving the Poms a flogging can be very satisfying. The
difference is, we get to do it on a regular basis. : )

diggerop

"Joe" wrote in message
.. .
Couldn't be much worse! lol
new rules.

1. our pronunciation, or your spelling, to-may-to, to-mah-to.
2. Fine, given what IM has done to spelling, good luck with this.
3. Like, agreed, you know?
4. Do we still get the day off?
5. The fact that you wrote 'lawyers' instead of 'barristers' renders this
point moot.
7. ok.
9. so it's semantics? re vinegar: has it's uses, but putting it on
crisps ain't one of them.
10. You're gonna improve our beer? Well gosh, if you feel you must....
11. You're bringing up Andie? What about Costner's 50 seconds worth of
an English accent in Robin Hood?
12. We got a problem here.
13. If you have a problem with it being called the World Series, field a
team.
14. see 15
15. Sure, it'll only cost you the answer to 14.
16. We've already started with the TEA parties, haven't you noticed?



ROFL . That's a keeper Joe : )

diggerop

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:17:43 -0500, Greg wrote:

said:

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:22:49 +0800, "diggerop" toobusy@themoment
wrote:

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.
13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.

Sorry, you seem to have a very narrow world view....

It's a joke, mate.


Greg G.

But the politicians on both sides of the pond are usually
otherwise-unemployed lawyers - which requires eternal vigilance ;-)

John

"Len" wrote in message
...
No disrespect to your monarch, But We Americans would rather die than be
ruled by a monarchy.(except republicans who would rather anoint the
Incompetent Sarah Palin over you very nice doddering old lady
Elizabeth)Remember we fought a war about this in the year 1776?(we won) .


Unfortunatley since 1776 we have lost our balls and cave in to every "don't
hurt their feelings" group.

wrote in message
news
On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:22:49 +0800, "diggerop" toobusy@themoment
wrote:

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.
13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host
an
event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.

Sorry, you seem to have a very narrow world view. Japan as well as
countries in South America also play baseball. Or did you fail to
notice because none of them are former colonies?

Correct about Japan and that is not really news but last I heard, South,
Central and North America are all America. I happen to live in the United
States of America.

said:

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:17:43 -0500, Greg wrote:

said:

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:22:49 +0800, "diggerop" toobusy@themoment
wrote:

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.
13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.

Sorry, you seem to have a very narrow world view....

It's a joke, mate.


But the politicians on both sides of the pond are usually
otherwise-unemployed lawyers - which requires eternal vigilance ;-)

Si Señor...



Greg G.

In article , Leon
wrote:

Correct about Japan and that is not really news but last I heard, South,
Central and North America are all America. I happen to live in the United
States of America.

Not this stale canard again...

I am not a North American, I am Canadian. The US of A is the only
country that uses the name "America".

Say it all you want, but repetition won't make it so.

--
"A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof.
And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." - Former Canadian
Prime Minister Jean Chretien

wrote in message
news
On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:22:49 +0800, "diggerop" toobusy@themoment
wrote:


A lot of us are still armed and ready to take to the woods to decimate
the Red Coats from concealed locations. I can buy ammunition (without
any ID - except my gray hair) at the WalMart that's just a little over
a mile away. With less than an hour's warning, I can have a weapon at
every vantage point and a couple hundred rounds for each weapon. You
lost the war two hundred years ago. Are you sure you want to fight
again?


Heh. I'm sure the Poms have more on their plate than to want to take on the
problems of the US.
The next battle for control of the US won't give you the opportunity to take
your gun in defense of your country, it is already under way with a far more
powerful arsenal, - world trade. Year by year, the US is being weakened
financially, while China (and an emerging India) slowly but inexorably
increase in strength. That gain is accelerating, - with it goes the balance
of world power.

diggerop

"Dave Balderstone" wrote in message
tone.ca...
In article , Leon
wrote:

Correct about Japan and that is not really news but last I heard, South,
Central and North America are all America. I happen to live in the
United
States of America.

Not this stale canard again...

I am not a North American, I am Canadian. The US of A is the only
country that uses the name "America".

Say it all you want, but repetition won't make it so.


What European country has the name Europe in it?

"diggerop" toobusy@themoment wrote in message
...
"Joe" wrote in message
.. .
Couldn't be much worse! lol
new rules.

1. our pronunciation, or your spelling, to-may-to, to-mah-to.
2. Fine, given what IM has done to spelling, good luck with this.
3. Like, agreed, you know?
4. Do we still get the day off?
5. The fact that you wrote 'lawyers' instead of 'barristers' renders this
point moot.
7. ok.
9. so it's semantics? re vinegar: has it's uses, but putting it on
crisps ain't one of them.
10. You're gonna improve our beer? Well gosh, if you feel you must....
11. You're bringing up Andie? What about Costner's 50 seconds worth of
an English accent in Robin Hood?
12. We got a problem here.
13. If you have a problem with it being called the World Series, field a
team.
14. see 15
15. Sure, it'll only cost you the answer to 14.
16. We've already started with the TEA parties, haven't you noticed?



ROFL . That's a keeper Joe : )

diggerop




Glad you took it as intended. Humour can be a funny thing.

jc

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:39:56 -0500, Len wrote:

No disrespect to your monarch, But We Americans would rather die than be
ruled by a monarchy.(except republicans who would rather anoint the
Incompetent Sarah Palin over you very nice doddering old lady
Elizabeth)Remember we fought a war about this in the year 1776?(we won)
.

Read some US history and find out how many of our founding fathers were
monarchists - you might be surprised. It took Jefferson to put that
notion to rest.

Yes, I know Washington refused the kingship. But he supported John Adams
who was a royal wannabe. And what does it say that the founding fathers
offered it to him?

--
Intelligence is an experiment that failed - G. B. Shaw

On Nov 16, 5:02 pm, Dave Balderstone
wrote:


Not this stale canard again...

I am not a North American, I am Canadian. The US of A is the only
country that uses the name "America".

Say it all you want, but repetition won't make it so.

But you live on the continent of...? This place-name stuff is just a
convenience of speech. It's time to get over nationalism. See the
current thread entitled "Simply amazing", and forget about the USA.
It's a worldwide problem. Tom

"Dave Balderstone" wrote in message
tone.ca...

I am not a North American, I am Canadian.

What!? Canada moved? No one told me. Where did it go?

On Nov 16, 8:06*pm, tom wrote:
On Nov 16, 5:02 pm, Dave Balderstone

wrote:

Not this stale canard again...

I am not a North American, I am Canadian. The US of A is the only
country that uses the name "America".

Say it all you want, but repetition won't make it so.

But you live on the continent of...? This place-name stuff is just a
convenience of speech. It's time to get over nationalism. See the
current thread entitled "Simply amazing", and forget about the USA.
It's a worldwide problem. *Tom

I am a Canadian who was born and raised in The Netherlands. I live on
Planet Earth on a spot of land called Canada. We have noisy neighbours.

"CW" wrote in message
m...

"Dave Balderstone" wrote in message
tone.ca...

I am not a North American, I am Canadian.

What!? Canada moved? No one told me. Where did it go?



Well, a bunch of them think they are in France

Leon wrote:


What European country has the name Europe in it?

European Union?

There she is again, standin' over by the crumpet machine,
Lookin' like the cover of "Mortician's Magazine".
If you wanna chat her up you gotta be at least a hundred-seventeen!

GO! GO! GO! little queenie (Away! Please! It's time!)


© Lord Charles of Berry, ASCAP, 1859, All Rights
Confused. (And with a royal salute to Sir Michael and the
boys – (for dustin' it off)


Jumpin' Jack Flash

Len wrote:
No disrespect to your monarch, But We Americans would rather die than
be ruled by a monarchy.(except republicans who would rather anoint the
Incompetent Sarah Palin over you very nice doddering old lady
Elizabeth)Remember we fought a war about this in the year 1776?(we
won) .

I predict that in 2012, America will have had enough of Democrats and elect
another Bush (just like they did after Clinton). Probably JEB Bush. After
eight years of Jeb, there will be that good-looking Hispanic Bush. By then
the dynasty will be firmly established and it's only a small step to a
monarchy.

And the colonists in 1776 didn't rebel against the crown so much as against
the mad King George III. Had he been more temperate or his counselors been
less bellicose, we might STILL be a colony!

As for Palin, well, it's entirely possible that by 2012 that the populace
will have gotten used to electing someone based entirely on style, grace,
poise, wit, charm, and good looks. If so, Palin beats Obama easily.

Unless Obama starts wearing lipstick to solidify his base...

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:47:50 -0500, "Ed Pawlowski"
wrote:

What!? Canada moved? No one told me. Where did it go?
Well, a bunch of them think they are in France

Need to find a way to move them there awhile. After France guts and
hangs them out to dry, then let them come back whining they'll be
good.

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:18:13 -0500, the infamous
scrawled the following:

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:17:43 -0500, Greg wrote:

said:

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:22:49 +0800, "diggerop" toobusy@themoment
wrote:

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.
13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.

Sorry, you seem to have a very narrow world view....

It's a joke, mate.


Greg G.

But the politicians on both sides of the pond are usually
otherwise-unemployed lawyers - which requires eternal vigilance ;-)

No, just proper maintenance with seasonal tags. I think 365 days a
year should suffice.


--
When we are planning for posterity,
we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.
-- Thomas Paine

On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:02:56 -0600, the infamous Dave Balderstone
scrawled the following:

In article , Leon
wrote:

Correct about Japan and that is not really news but last I heard, South,
Central and North America are all America. I happen to live in the United
States of America.

Not this stale canard again...

I am not a North American, I am Canadian. The US of A is the only
country that uses the name "America".

Say it all you want, but repetition won't make it so.

The rest of the world recognizes north and south Americas, and that
central area thing (with the great tamales.) Why don't you?

Oh. Bear Whiz Beer. That's why it's yellow! OK, carry on.

--
When we are planning for posterity,
we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.
-- Thomas Paine

On 11/16/2009 6:22 AM diggerop spake thus:

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Bravo, bravo! Hear, hear!

Just one thing: as a former 'Merkin, I plead, nay, pray to you just one
thing: PLEASE don't make us watch "Are You Being Served?". ANYTHING
else, just not that, OK? I'll even watch all that Jeeves this and Poirot
that, just ... not ... that show ... OK?


--
Who needs a junta or a dictatorship when you have a Congress
blowing Wall Street, using the media as a condom?

- harvested from Usenet

On 11/16/2009 5:58 PM Robatoy spake thus:

I am a Canadian who was born and raised in The Netherlands. I live on
Planet Earth on a spot of land called Canada. We have noisy neighbours.

Sig! I claim sig material!


--
I am a Canadian who was born and raised in The Netherlands. I live on
Planet Earth on a spot of land called Canada. We have noisy neighbours.

- harvested from Usenet

"diggerop" toobusy@themoment wrote

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she
does not fancy).

However, the following is to be amended:

7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
driving on the left side with immediate effect.

For 'immediate' substitute 'gradually'.

Jeff

--
Jeff Gorman, West Yorkshire, UK
email : Username is amgron
ISP is clara.co.uk
www.amgron.clara.net

On Nov 16, 11:40 pm, Dave Balderstone
wrote:

Go south, old man, and tell anyone between Juarez and Tierro Del Fuego
that they're American.

Well, I know that being Canadian seems to give you super powers that
enable you to understand the rest of the world.

Tain't so.

I live and work a couple of hours north of the border with Mexico. In
construction, a large part of our work force is from Mexico, and much
further south. While they like to come here to work, enjoy social
benefits, free education, certain welfare items, etc., they will be
more than quick to tell you they are from a certain country down
south, and that's home.

They burn with national pride for their fatherlands, the countries
that cannot feed, clothe, or take care of them in any way. They will
tell you immediately (at least the ones you can communicate with) that
they are "Sur Americanos", not Americanos. They come here for
opportunities and welfare.

In my experience it's only the Yanks that insist on arguing this
bullpucky. Makes me wonder why you feel the need to dilute your
national with the rest of us.

I would say for the most part, we don't. Our politicians want a world
a big homogeneous sphere, but I think most Americans are tired of the
rest of the world. I don't think most USAnians (nope... gonna have to
go with American) know what our global role is to planet earth, but
more importantly no one I know cares. It is long past the time where
the USA needs to fix itself, and repair all manner of problems from
top to bottom.

So rather than waste time, money and effort trying to be everyone's
best friend on this big blue marble, we should take all of the time,
money and effort we give away and apply them to the citizens of this
country. I for one don't claim or want anything at all from Canada,
and would be fine closing the borders if that served a greater
purpose. I'm kind of a "don't let the door hit you in the ass" guy.
If you don't want anything to do with us, I understand. But don't be
annoying, just go away.

I am not sure what you mean about our gene pool being diluted by
Canadians, but if you are thinking that there are undocumented
Canadian aliens living here illegally, then I can assure you most
folks don't want them here. As the economy collapsed, that hot issue
got even hotter.

However, at least 50% or so would make an exception of these fine
folks wanted to stay here under just about any conditions:

http://socyberty.com/people/canadas-...l-movie-stars/

And this may be tough... believe it or not... the conversations aren't
always friendly or respectful in the US when discussing Canada.

And besides, not everyone, not even Canadian (if only by name), want
to dilute their own good gene pool with that of actual Canadians.
Must be something in your blood we don't know about. Do these guys
know?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Referen...sion_of_Quebec

Just a couple of thoughts....

Robert

Len wrote:
No disrespect to your monarch, But We Americans would rather die than be
ruled by a monarchy.(except republicans who would rather anoint the
Incompetent Sarah Palin over you very nice doddering old lady
Elizabeth)Remember we fought a war about this in the year 1776?(we won) .

Bull**** ... would be funny if it weren't so damn sad. You're living in
an oligarchy but most of you are too ****ing stupid to recognize it!

--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 10/22/08
KarlC@ (the obvious)

On Nov 17, 4:38*am, "
wrote:
[snipped for brevity]

So rather than waste time, money and effort trying to be everyone's
best friend on this big blue marble, we should take all of the time,
money and effort we give away and apply them to the citizens of this
country. *I for one don't claim or want anything at all from Canada,
and would be fine closing the borders if that served a greater
purpose. *

You mean stop trading with your biggest trading partner? Like take
your ball and go home?
Fine by me, but don't come bitching when a lot of you get cold this
winter and a lot of cars won't start...oh, and when you're thirsty.
Oh, wait. Ya'll just come and 'take' it then, will you? You know, that
stuff you say you don't want/need?

Like it or not, we ARE your biggest trading partner. Not in 'goods'
like the frivolous bull**** junk you buy from your next biggest
trading partner (China), but we sell you stuff you guys actually need.


However, at least 50% or so would make an exception of these fine
folks wanted to stay here under just about any conditions:

http://socyberty.com/people/canadas-...l-movie-stars/

You have got to be kidding. You can have those plasticized 'stars'.
That list of 'women' just reflects what it takes to be 'attractive to
the US market'. You know, they appeal to the lowest common
denominator. All lipstick and Barbie-like.

And this may be tough... believe it or not... the conversations aren't
always friendly or respectful in the US when discussing Canada.

You think it is any different up here (or anywhere else on the planet)
when discussing the US? Those discussions aren't 'always' friendly or
respectful either. G

And besides, not everyone, not even Canadian (if only by name), want
to dilute their own good gene pool with that of actual Canadians.
Must be something in your blood we don't know about. *Do these guys
know?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Referen...sion_of_Quebec

The French? Who the hell dragged the French into this discussion?
Yeah.. the US would really like it that the St Lawrence Seaway, a huge
shipping artery, would run through 'France'.

Isn't there a state down there which talks of secession as well?

I quite like the border where it is and know a lot of your people who
wouldn't mind living up here.

But, Robert, you have an open invitation to come up here and stay at
my house (igloo) and we can chew some pelts and have a few blubber
sandwiches and maybe even have a beer-or-twenty. I think you'll like
us up here.

r

On Nov 17, 7:14*am, Swingman wrote:
Len wrote:
No disrespect to your monarch, But We Americans would rather die than be
ruled by a monarchy.(except republicans who would rather anoint the
Incompetent Sarah Palin over you very nice doddering old lady
Elizabeth)Remember we fought a war about this in the *year 1776?(we won) .

Bull**** ... would be funny if it weren't so damn sad. You're living in
an oligarchy but most of you are too ****ing stupid to recognize it!

--www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 10/22/08
KarlC@ (the obvious)

You said the 'F' word! According to some people in this NG, that makes
you a 'Librul'. G

We don't have Bushes and Clintons up here. We mostly have corporate
oligarchy.

Churchill's (abreviated) phrase "Never was so much owed by so many to
so few" takes on a whole new meaning, eh?

"Dave Balderstone" wrote in message
news:161120092340443091%dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_Sbalderst one.ca...

Continents? Sure, I'm still good there. Hopefully for another few
decades.

But as an identifier for a people, I think not. We're canajuns, eh? and
you are still murricans, huh?

Go south, old man, and tell anyone between Juarez and Tierro Del Fuego
that they're American.

In my experience it's only the Yanks that insist on arguing this
bullpucky. Makes me wonder why you feel the need to dilute your
national with the rest of us.

You used to be a proud people. Now your president bows before defrocked
emperors.

A pity.


Actually I am a Texan, better than...... pick your location. LOL.

"Robatoy" wrote in message
...
Snip


But, Robert, you have an open invitation to come up here and stay at
my house (igloo) and we can chew some pelts and have a few blubber
sandwiches and maybe even have a beer-or-twenty. I think you'll like
us up here.

I am Texan, my wife is originally from Township of Tona Wanda NY, near
Buffalo IIRC but has lived in Texas since she was 5.

She has family in Burlington, Ontario which she had not seen since she was
about 5. Some of her cousins she had never met. In 1998 we took a drive
up there from Houston and spent some time with them.

I recall her older aunts and uncles being ummmm, like family. The
younger siblings however came over to meet the "Texans" and see their new
pickup truck. ;~)

I recall the youngest first cousin, that had been out of college for about a
year and had a pretty good job, being the most skeptical at first. She was
somewhat shy and timid, by Texas standards. She may have been a hell cat by
Canadian standards. ;~) No really she was a delightful person,
intelligent, respectful, but she was shy.

Her mother came up to us the next morning and told us, Grace stayed up late
with me last night, could not stop talking
about you after the visit. She said, "they" are cool. Most of kids were
shocked that we were aware that Canada has a place called Saskatchewan.

Swingman wrote:
Len wrote:
No disrespect to your monarch, But We Americans would rather die
than be ruled by a monarchy.(except republicans who would rather
anoint the Incompetent Sarah Palin over you very nice doddering old
lady Elizabeth)Remember we fought a war about this in the year
1776?(we won) .

Bull**** ... would be funny if it weren't so damn sad. You're living
in an oligarchy but most of you are too ****ing stupid to recognize
it!

Everything is relative: An oligarchy is better than the governments in much
of the world, such as anarchy (Sudan, Somalia), some monarchies (Jordan),
theocracies (Iran), thug-ocracies (Lybia,), and others.

On Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:06:34 +0800, "diggerop" toobusy@themoment
wrote:

wrote in message
news
On Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:22:49 +0800, "diggerop" toobusy@themoment
wrote:


A lot of us are still armed and ready to take to the woods to decimate
the Red Coats from concealed locations. I can buy ammunition (without
any ID - except my gray hair) at the WalMart that's just a little over
a mile away. With less than an hour's warning, I can have a weapon at
every vantage point and a couple hundred rounds for each weapon. You
lost the war two hundred years ago. Are you sure you want to fight
again?


Heh. I'm sure the Poms have more on their plate than to want to take on the
problems of the US.
The next battle for control of the US won't give you the opportunity to take
your gun in defense of your country, it is already under way with a far more
powerful arsenal, - world trade. Year by year, the US is being weakened
financially, while China (and an emerging India) slowly but inexorably
increase in strength. That gain is accelerating, - with it goes the balance
of world power.

diggerop

Unfortunately, the US long ago eliminated any requirement that you be
intelligent (or educated [exposed to history and some serious thought]
or a property owner [with a real stake in both national and
international events]) in order to vote, which gave the vote to people
who are more interested in the candidate's clothing style than
international acumen. I did NOT vote for Alfred E Newman.

One of the mantras associated with loss of industrial power was
outsourcing. The argument ran something like this: "They can make it
in China for much less and still have our logo on it. If we do just
the simple final module assembly here in the States, it can have a
Made in the USA label on it." Every time production was moved
offshore, US industrial power declined.

There are also far too many people who are so short-sighted and
concerned with protecting their immediate jobs that they forget the
customer's needs and that the customer affects their long-term job
future. I saw this in a contracting job I had several years ago. The
customer was the US military (big organization, deep pockets, likely
to be there for a long time). One manager was more concerned about
keeping her friend (a marginally competent and minimally productive
employee) employed full time than in getting the software development
done. Said manager canned the remote contractor who was too expensive
at $50/hour (me) and squandered the project money on hours for her
friend. The customer didn't get what they had contracted for, the
company lost the project, the manager and her friend are both looking
for work.

John

wrote in message
...

Unfortunately, the US long ago eliminated any requirement that you be
intelligent (or educated [exposed to history and some serious thought]
or a property owner [with a real stake in both national and
international events]) in order to vote, which gave the vote to people
who are more interested in the candidate's clothing style than
international acumen. I did NOT vote for Alfred E Newman.


Winston Churchilll's wry observation: "The greatest argument against
democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter."

diggerop

"David Nebenzahl" wrote in message
.com...
On 11/16/2009 6:22 AM diggerop spake thus:

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign
Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Bravo, bravo! Hear, hear!

Just one thing: as a former 'Merkin, I plead, nay, pray to you just one
thing: PLEASE don't make us watch "Are You Being Served?". ANYTHING else,
just not that, OK? I'll even watch all that Jeeves this and Poirot that,
just ... not ... that show ... OK?


Heh. The show was very popular in Oz, - partly because the characters were
all stereoptypes of the sort of people you would actually find in retail
outlets.
Molly Sugden's "Mrs Slocombe' was brilliant, but then I've always thought
the Poms to be without peer when it comes to drama and comedy.

diggerop - (who just complimented the Poms and hopes his mates don't find
out.)

On Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:07:42 +0800, "diggerop" toobusy@themoment
wrote:

wrote in message
.. .

Unfortunately, the US long ago eliminated any requirement that you be
intelligent (or educated [exposed to history and some serious thought]
or a property owner [with a real stake in both national and
international events]) in order to vote, which gave the vote to people
who are more interested in the candidate's clothing style than
international acumen. I did NOT vote for Alfred E Newman.


Winston Churchilll's wry observation: "The greatest argument against
democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter."

diggerop

How true...