I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Till next year, you *******.
..
..
..
..


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

Robatoy wrote:
I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.



Hint: Female Doctor = Small Hands


--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim Daneliuk
PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/

On Nov 12, 11:39*am, Robatoy wrote:
I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.

Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

I had that joyous experience (prostrate exam) about 6 months ago. My
doctor has fingers the size of cucumbers. As he was trying to insert
one of them to check me out, he said "You really need to relax!"
I replied "Lets see you relax when you have a man's finger up your
a##!"
He wasn't amused. Go figure.

"Robatoy" wrote in message
...
I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Reminds me of a dentist I went to many years ago for an emergency. He was
making a joke and held his hand in front of my face and made a fist. That
is when I realized that his fist was almost as big as my head! No wonder my
mouth hurt.

I alway made sure after that any dentist who worked on me had small hands.

Robatoy wrote:
I had my annual full medical this morning.
[snip]

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

Had a doctor some years ago that seemed to enjoy that finger banging too
much. The current doc is better (Asian man = small hands too, Tim).
Anyway he was the one that discovered a problem which turned out to be
cancer. Had it removed. I won't be making any more babies but I am alive.

I had always planned on making my way out of this mortal coil by being
shot by a jealous husband at the age of 119, but that ain't gonna happen
either.
elderly gentleman,
jo4hn

On Nov 12, 1:46*pm, jo4hn wrote:
Robatoy wrote:
I had my annual full medical this morning.
[snip]

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.

Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

Had a doctor some years ago that seemed to enjoy that finger banging too
much. *The current doc is better (Asian man = small hands too, Tim).
Anyway he was the one that discovered a problem which turned out to be
cancer. *Had it removed. *I won't be making any more babies but I am alive.

I had always planned on making my way out of this mortal coil by being
shot by a jealous husband at the age of 119, but that ain't gonna happen
either.
* * * * elderly gentleman,
* * * * jo4hn

The fact they caught it was something to be happy about, eh? My
neighbour wasn't so lucky.
By the time they discovered it, it was too late, He was gone 4 months
later. He was 60.
And that's too young to die.

Glad to still have you around though. *S*

Robatoy wrote:
I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

Don't forget the hose up the butt. I waited until I was 59 and had
several polyps removed including a nice big cancerous one. Rather than
take a chance that it might be going on the road, I had 12 inches of
colon removed - a "resection". Doc said the operation wouldn't be a big
deal - the lying *******. No chemo required, but had annual hose jobs
for three years. I'm finally on a three year schedule.

If I'd had it done when I was 55, it wouldn't have been a problem. If
I'd waited another 6 months, I probably wouldn't be here.

The stupidity on my part was my pop died of colon cancer, but at 89
years of age. But I was too "busy at work" to find the time...

"Robatoy" wrote:

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

Ahh yes, the old dipstick check.

Remember the old story about the guy who was told to "assume the
position". then felt the doctor's left hand on one shoulder, his right
hand on the other shoulder and the inspection process seemed to be
underway...................

Lew

On Nov 12, 2:59*pm, "Lew Hodgett" wrote:
"Robatoy" wrote:
Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.

Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

Ahh yes, the old dipstick check.

Remember the old story about the guy who was told to "assume the
position". then felt the doctor's left hand on one shoulder, his right
hand on the other shoulder and the inspection process seemed to be
underway...................

Lew

ROTFLMAO

Hint: Female Doctor = Small Hands


When I called to schedule mine, the receptionist asked if I had a
preference for which doctor to see.
I said, "The one with the smallest hands."
She lost it so bad, I thought I was going to have to call back.


--

-MIKE-

"Playing is not something I do at night, it's my function in life"
--Elvin Jones (1927-2004)
--
http://mikedrums.com

---remove "DOT" ^^^^ to reply

"Tim Daneliuk" wrote in message news Robatoy wrote:
I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.



Hint: Female Doctor = Small Hands


Small hands have VERY SHARP NAILS!


--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim Daneliuk
PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/

PDQ

Why do I get the idea you are talking about our beloved Jean Chretin? BEG

P D Q

"Lew Hodgett" wrote in message ...
"Robatoy" wrote:

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

Ahh yes, the old dipstick check.

Remember the old story about the guy who was told to "assume the
position". then felt the doctor's left hand on one shoulder, his right
hand on the other shoulder and the inspection process seemed to be
underway...................

Lew

Getting a digit up your poop shoot is no fun.
I sincerely hope you are also having your PSA test as well.
It can indicate a problem while the Big C is still an infant.

I've been there and done that and have the scars to prove it.

P D Q

"Robatoy" wrote in message ...
I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Till next year, you *******.
..
..
..
..


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

On Nov 12, 3:38*pm, "PDQ" wrote:
Getting a digit up your poop shoot is no fun.
I sincerely hope you are also having your PSA test as well.
It can indicate a problem while the Big C is still an infant.


For sure. I'm getting the whole meal deal.
I just did my corporate taxes, so the feeling of blood being sucked
out of me is still fresh on my mind.
But we need to keep the kitty flush, so we can offer medical help to
Tim, should he ever need it.

Robatoy wrote:
On Nov 12, 3:38 pm, "PDQ" wrote:
Getting a digit up your poop shoot is no fun.
I sincerely hope you are also having your PSA test as well.
It can indicate a problem while the Big C is still an infant.


For sure. I'm getting the whole meal deal.
I just did my corporate taxes, so the feeling of blood being sucked
out of me is still fresh on my mind.
But we need to keep the kitty flush, so we can offer medical help to
Tim, should he ever need it.


I *do* plan to die at the age of 125 at the hands of a jealous
husband of a supermodel...

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim Daneliuk
PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/

"Robatoy" wrote in message
...
I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.


And a bit easier than having the Channel 2 News Crew up there. The film crew
always want to know if you want to look, which was worse when they didn't
have the tv camera. Then they'd shove the blunt end of the hose at your
eyeball. Now they can just point at the tv screen and make stupid jokes.
"You know what they say about proctologists ... yuk, yuk?. No, and I don't
care to find out. It's worse than a waiter asking how the food is just
you've stuffed a forkful in your mouth.

BTW, stay away from the guys who make gear changing noises as they round the
bend!

"Robatoy" wrote in message
...
I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
Just had that done last week. Total physical and intensive blood check.
Doctor called and said I am beyond any help. (because they could not any
thing wrong)
But Doc.. I am 81
.


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

"Robatoy" wrote in message
...
I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

Some like it a little "rough", but would never admit it. ;~)

"Leon" wrote in message
...

: Some like it a little "rough", but would never admit it. ;~)

Whip him. Beat him. Call him Edna. ~)

Dave in Houston

On Nov 14, 8:58*am, "Leon" wrote:
"Robatoy" wrote in message

...



I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.

Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

Some like it a little "rough", but would never admit it. *;~)

Oh... 'rough'[... I thought you said 'rruff'. That kinda action puts
grass stains on your knees... I'm told.
..
..
..
Besides, I wouldn't be able to stand the dog's breath.

"Robatoy" wrote in message
...

Oh... 'rough'[... I thought you said 'rruff'. That kinda action puts
grass stains on your knees... I'm told.

Nothing like a bad case of carpet burn.
..
Besides, I wouldn't be able to stand the dog's breath.

Which end of the dog are you on? ~))))))

Dave in Houston

On Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:45:52 -0600, "NuWave Dave"
wrote:


"Robatoy" wrote in message
...

Oh... 'rough'[... I thought you said 'rruff'. That kinda action puts
grass stains on your knees... I'm told.

Nothing like a bad case of carpet burn.
.
Besides, I wouldn't be able to stand the dog's breath.

Which end of the dog are you on? ~))))))

Dave in Houston

....yah, you don't have to walk around front to kiss it, yanno! ;o)

cg

On Thu, 13 Nov 2008 20:11:13 -0700, "WW" wrote:


"Robatoy" wrote in message
...
I had my annual full medical this morning.

I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart
disease.

I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around.
But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.

And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured
with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to
continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland.
I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere.
I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw
me off onto the floor.
I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing.
If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an
out-door fountain with those hands.
Thorough he is, gentle he's not.

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
Just had that done last week. Total physical and intensive blood check.
Doctor called and said I am beyond any help. (because they could not any
thing wrong)
But Doc.. I am 81
.


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.


I'm 54. I did not have a physical this year, but did complete a free
5-minute PSA/digital prostate exam with a score of 0.8. I guess I
might be dying, but probably not of prostate cancer. If you are over
45, you need a PSA/digital exam once a year to effectively fight
prostate cancer. You don't want to know about how this disease is
treated!!!

"Phisherman" wrote in message ...
On Thu, 13 Nov 2008 20:11:13 -0700, "WW" wrote:

SNIP

I'm 54. I did not have a physical this year, but did complete a free
5-minute PSA/digital prostate exam with a score of 0.8. I guess I
might be dying, but probably not of prostate cancer. If you are over
45, you need a PSA/digital exam once a year to effectively fight
prostate cancer. You don't want to know about how this disease is
treated!!!

It ain't no big deal.

If the cancer is caught soon enough all one need do is eliminate the source.

No prostate = no cancer.

If one is a little too late, one plays golf in the A.M.,gets roasted in the P.M., and sleeps well at night.
A month of this burning usually convinces the cancer to decamp.

After this, all one need do is pray for no more treatments.
After 5 years of prayer, one is pronounced healed.

Bin there - done that - got the blisters to prove it.

P D Q

I have a woman doctor.

"shooter" wrote in message
...


I replied "Lets see you relax when you have a man's finger up your
a##!"

Tim Daneliuk wrote:

I *do* plan to die at the age of 125 at the hands of a jealous
husband of a supermodel...

I do, too. But with my luck, I'll be innocent.
-- Doug

Douglas Johnson wrote:
Tim Daneliuk wrote:

I *do* plan to die at the age of 125 at the hands of a jealous
husband of a supermodel...

I do, too. But with my luck, I'll be innocent.
-- Doug



--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim Daneliuk
PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/

On Nov 12, 2:13*pm, -MIKE- wrote:
When I called to schedule mine, the receptionist asked if I had a
preference for which doctor to see.
I said, "The one with the smallest hands."
She lost it so bad, I thought I was going to have to call back.

--

* -MIKE-

Had a persistent bout of prostatitis when I was younger and ended up
seeing a urologist. My first appointment with him was right after
lunch, and being in sales, it's pretty much a habit to pop a breath
mint anytime I'm leaving the car heading to an office building,
especially after pizza.

The irony of this situation struck me as I was meeting the doctor for
the first time and I shared it with him thusly:

"Doc, call me crazy but I just freshened my breath for a guy who's
going to stick his finger up my ass!"

He laughed so hard I thought he was going to have a stoke. It's great
to have doctors that you can really talk to.

Tom

Lew,

That was one of my fathers favorite jokesg He spent 30 years in the Army.

"Lets see...his right hand was on my right sholder....no...his left hand was
on my left sholder...no....Hell! He had a hand on each sholder!"

The other one was...

Soldier: "Doc, hurry, your ring is hurting me"
Doc" "Thats not my ring, thats my wris****ch"

Skip
www.ShopFileR.com



"Lew Hodgett" wrote in message
...
"Robatoy" wrote:

Till next year, you *******.
.
.
.
.


Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.

Ahh yes, the old dipstick check.

Remember the old story about the guy who was told to "assume the
position". then felt the doctor's left hand on one shoulder, his right
hand on the other shoulder and the inspection process seemed to be
underway...................

Lew

"Skip Williams" wrote:

That was one of my fathers favorite jokesg He spent 30 years in
the Army.

See a previous post below:

................................................. .....
Colonoscopy Comments

Things a man might say during a colonoscopy:

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by
his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their
colonoscopies:

01. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone
before!"
02. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
03. "Can you hear me NOW?"
04. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
05. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
06. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
07. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
08. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
09. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of them all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there."

Lew