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#1
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
A Compendium of Puntifications
1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. 4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. 5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. 6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. 7. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. 8. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet concrete. He became a hardened criminal. 9. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. 10. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. 11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA. 12. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. 13. The dead batteries were given out free of charge. 14. If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory. 15. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. 16. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.) 17. I didn't know where the sun went at night, so I stayed up thinking about it until it dawned on me. 18. I knew she was bulimic so I tried not to talk about food, but she kept bringing it up! A tough old cowboy counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103. When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren and a 15-foot hole where the crematorium used to be. -- www.e-woodshop.net Last update: 3/8/08 KarlC@ (the obvious) |
#2
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Swingman wrote:
A Compendium of Puntifications [snippage of things disgusting] Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! |
#3
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a "real" word. Some are terrifically innovative. 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 6. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 7. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer. 11. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 12. Glibido: All talk and no action. 13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. And the #1 pick: 17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. |
#4
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
M R Goodens!
"Swingman" wrote in message ... A Compendium of Puntifications 1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. 4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. 5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. 6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. 7. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. 8. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet concrete. He became a hardened criminal. 9. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. 10. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. 11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA. 12. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. 13. The dead batteries were given out free of charge. 14. If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory. 15. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. 16. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.) 17. I didn't know where the sun went at night, so I stayed up thinking about it until it dawned on me. 18. I knew she was bulimic so I tried not to talk about food, but she kept bringing it up! A tough old cowboy counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103. When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren and a 15-foot hole where the crematorium used to be. -- www.e-woodshop.net Last update: 3/8/08 KarlC@ (the obvious) |
#5
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
On May 12, 2:15*pm, "Swingman" wrote:
A Compendium of Puntifications 1. I wondered why the *baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2. Police were called to a *daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 3. Did you hear about *the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. 4. The *roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. 5. To write *with a broken pencil is pointless. 6. When fish are in schools they sometimes *take debate. 7. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. 8. A thief *fell and broke his leg in wet concrete. He became a hardened criminal. 9. *Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. 10. *We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. 11. When *the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA. 12. The professor discovered that her *theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. 13. The dead batteries were given *out free of charge. 14. If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could *jog your memory. 15. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. 16. *What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.) 17. I didn't know *where the sun went at night, so I stayed up thinking about it until it dawned on *me. 18. I knew she was bulimic so I tried not to talk about food, but she *kept bringing it up! A tough old cowboy counseled his *grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to *sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The *grandson did this religiously to the age of 103. When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren *and a 15-foot hole where the crematorium used to be. Oh my...... http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o...flol_seal1.jpg |
#6
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
On May 12, 3:33 pm, Woodie wrote:
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a "real" word. Some are terrifically innovative. 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 6. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 7. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer. 11. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 12. Glibido: All talk and no action. 13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. And the #1 pick: 17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. You sure the proper term for #17 isn't "Politician"? |
#7
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Charlie Self wrote:
On May 12, 3:33 pm, Woodie wrote: And the #1 pick: 17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. You sure the proper term for #17 isn't "Politician"? I don't think that quite covers them... Politicians aren't JUST stupid assholes, they're also dishonest, self serving (not YOU Charlie, THEMselves), egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing, vermin. Not sure if we need a whole new word for that, or just Politician. |
#8
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
"Woodie" wrote: I don't think that quite covers them... Politicians aren't JUST stupid assholes, they're also dishonest, self serving (not YOU Charlie, THEMselves), egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing, vermin. Does a pretty good job describing the folks they represent. Lew |
#9
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Lew Hodgett wrote:
"Woodie" wrote: I don't think that quite covers them... Politicians aren't JUST stupid assholes, they're also dishonest, self serving (not YOU Charlie, THEMselves), egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing, vermin. Does a pretty good job describing the folks they represent. Lew Some of them perhaps, but if you think your elected representative is ACTUALLY trying to represent you... Think again. |
#10
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Woodie wrote:
Charlie Self wrote: On May 12, 3:33 pm, Woodie wrote: And the #1 pick: 17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. You sure the proper term for #17 isn't "Politician"? I don't think that quite covers them... Politicians aren't JUST stupid assholes, they're also dishonest, self serving (not YOU Charlie, THEMselves), egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing, vermin. Not sure if we need a whole new word for that, or just Politician. It's funny. Everyone says they hate politicians. But really, politicians just do what is required for reelection - i.e., What their constituents want. If you don't like how your politician is acting, take a close look at what your neighbors and/or you are demanding of them. The real bad guy here is The Sheeeple. -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tim Daneliuk PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/ |
#11
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Tim Daneliuk wrote:
Woodie wrote: Charlie Self wrote: On May 12, 3:33 pm, Woodie wrote: And the #1 pick: 17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. You sure the proper term for #17 isn't "Politician"? I don't think that quite covers them... Politicians aren't JUST stupid assholes, they're also dishonest, self serving (not YOU Charlie, THEMselves), egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing, vermin. Not sure if we need a whole new word for that, or just Politician. It's funny. Everyone says they hate politicians. But really, politicians just do what is required for reelection - i.e., What their constituents want. If you don't like how your politician is acting, take a close look at what your neighbors and/or you are demanding of them. The real bad guy here is The Sheeeple. As someone who worked for many years around politicians, who knows hundreds of them personally, I can tell you that the "Sheeple" don't know one percent of what their elected officials actually do. Most of their substantive activities are done in private, regardless of law requiring otherwise, and will never be publicized. That which you know about your elected officials is generally only that which they wish known. |
#12
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
"Woodie" wrote:
Some of them perhaps, but if you think your elected representative is ACTUALLY trying to represent you... Think again. By definition: "Politics", the art of the possible. The electorate, by and large, reaps what it sews, and deserves what it gets. Lew |
#13
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Lew Hodgett wrote:
"Woodie" wrote: Some of them perhaps, but if you think your elected representative is ACTUALLY trying to represent you... Think again. By definition: "Politics", the art of the possible. That is, defined by a politician, Otto Von Bismarck. The electorate, by and large, reaps what it sews, and deserves what it gets. The electorate, by and large, reaps what it sews, and sews what it knows. Our press corps do a better job at exposing corruption in third world countries than at exposing corruption at home. I for one, believe we deserve better. And yes, I do work towards that goal. I don't just sit around whining about it. I'm active politically, and believe that if more Americans knew just what went on behind close doors, more of them would be too. |
#14
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
"Woodie" wrote The electorate, by and large, reaps what it sews, and sews what it knows. What type of thread and needles do they use? Inquiring minds, and all that ... -- www.e-woodshop.net Last update: 3/27/08 KarlC@ (the obvious) |
#15
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Swingman wrote:
"Woodie" wrote The electorate, by and large, reaps what it sews, and sews what it knows. What type of thread and needles do they use? Inquiring minds, and all that ... The needle is freedom, and the thread is democracy, my inquisitive friend... I'm not sure what the velcro closures would be though... |
#16
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Woodie wrote:
Tim Daneliuk wrote: Woodie wrote: Charlie Self wrote: On May 12, 3:33 pm, Woodie wrote: And the #1 pick: 17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. You sure the proper term for #17 isn't "Politician"? I don't think that quite covers them... Politicians aren't JUST stupid assholes, they're also dishonest, self serving (not YOU Charlie, THEMselves), egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing, vermin. Not sure if we need a whole new word for that, or just Politician. It's funny. Everyone says they hate politicians. But really, politicians just do what is required for reelection - i.e., What their constituents want. If you don't like how your politician is acting, take a close look at what your neighbors and/or you are demanding of them. The real bad guy here is The Sheeeple. As someone who worked for many years around politicians, who knows hundreds of them personally, I can tell you that the "Sheeple" don't know one percent of what their elected officials actually do. Most of their substantive activities are done in private, regardless of law requiring otherwise, and will never be publicized. That which you know about your elected officials is generally only that which they wish known. That is certainly true. But, I also don't know the details of how my doctor, accountant, plumber, or banker do their jobs. I primarily focus on their results, since that's all that really matters to me. This is also the case for politicians. No matter how honest or slimy or good or bad or ... a politician may be, they get into their jobs because The Sheeple, um, *vote* for them. Most people do this because the politician promises to do or give them stuff they want. I suspect that most people enter politics with the intent of making their community, state, or nation better in some sense. They quickly discover that "better" is not commonly defined in their constituency. So - knowing they must stand for reelection to continue to make things better - they find the "better" that has the widest support among their voters and promptly pander to them, buying their votes (with Other People's Money - taxes) in the process. You can hardly blame the politicians for doing what they are being pressured to do. Let me give you an example. Everyone screams about the vast US debt. But, over 50% of the US Federal budget alone (never mind local and state government) is made of *entitlements* - handouts to various special interest and lobbying groups. The biggest lobby in the US is not some big eeeeeeevil corporation, it is ... the elderly, via the AARP. No matter how much people holler about the debt, the fact is that no politician could survive if they proposed that people take responsibility for themselves and thereby gutted the social handouts. The enemy of a balanced budget is thus not the Congress, it's *all of us*. This doesn't make politicians noble, it makes them pragmatic. This behavior transcends social or economic status. People with little money demand government care. People with large sums of money demand special tax breaks. Farmers want subsidies. Corporations lobby Congress for favors. Students want "free" university educations. Moms want "free" daycare. In short, almost *everyone* wants something they themselves have not earned, so they raid their neighbors wallets. This puts the politicians in the position of deciding who gets raided and who gets bought, and *we put them in that role*. In the end, the only real difference between Left/Right/Republican/Democrat is their respective definition of "better", who gets looted, and who gets bought. For years I shared your view that politicians were the problem. But I was wrong. Even considering the overtly corrupt, thieving scoundrels that occasionally get caught, they are nowhere near as ethically compromised as John Q. Citizen who refuses to live within his means, save for his retirement, care for his children, actively participate in their education, and generally help himself to Other People's Money via the politicians he elects. Democracy cannot survive when the majority of the citizens view themselves as entitled, not responsible for themselves, and willing to - in effect - steal from other citizens. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tim Daneliuk PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/ |
#17
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Swingman wrote:
"Woodie" wrote The electorate, by and large, reaps what it sews, and sews what it knows. What type of thread and needles do they use? Inquiring minds, and all that ... Part of my family are farmers. To the best of my knowledge, they reap what they sow, but some of my aunts also sew, so there ... -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tim Daneliuk PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/ |
#18
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
"Tim Daneliuk" wrote special interest and lobbying groups. The biggest lobby in the US is not some big eeeeeeevil corporation, it is ... the elderly, via the AARP. No matter how much people holler about the debt, the fact is that no politician could survive if they proposed that people take responsibility for themselves and thereby gutted the social handouts. Not a fan of AARP (but a member, by proxy, cuz SWMBO is) and now officially "elderly", under the property tax laws of the State of Texas, just where do I go to get these "social handouts" due to my official status/membership?? I be needing some ... cuz I'm one (married, filing jointly) of those who only got $600/couple rebate (to spend on lottery tickets, Tom) because the HUGE "self-employment" taxes I've been paying for the last 40 years (because I "take responsibility for myself" by WORKING) were not counted as "net tax liability" for purposes of figuring the rebate. The f*ckers! pardon my French, but that really ****es me off! -- www.e-woodshop.net Last update: 3/27/08 KarlC@ (the obvious) |
#19
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Woodie wrote:
Charlie Self wrote: On May 12, 3:33 pm, Woodie wrote: And the #1 pick: 17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. You sure the proper term for #17 isn't "Politician"? I don't think that quite covers them... Politicians aren't JUST stupid assholes, they're also dishonest, self serving (not YOU Charlie, THEMselves), egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing, vermin. Aw, now, what have dishonest, self serving, egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing vermin ever done to deserve an insult like that? -- -- --John to email, dial "usenet" and validate (was jclarke at eye bee em dot net) |
#20
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Swingman wrote:
"Tim Daneliuk" wrote special interest and lobbying groups. The biggest lobby in the US is not some big eeeeeeevil corporation, it is ... the elderly, via the AARP. No matter how much people holler about the debt, the fact is that no politician could survive if they proposed that people take responsibility for themselves and thereby gutted the social handouts. Not a fan of AARP (but a member, by proxy, cuz SWMBO is) and now officially "elderly", under the property tax laws of the State of Texas, just where do I go to get these "social handouts" due to my official status/membership?? I be needing some ... cuz I'm one (married, filing jointly) of those who only got $600/couple rebate (to spend on lottery tickets, Tom) because the HUGE "self-employment" taxes I've been paying for the last 40 years (because I "take responsibility for myself" by WORKING) were not counted as "net tax liability" for purposes of figuring the rebate. The f*ckers! pardon my French, but that really ****es me off! Yeah me too. We have reached the exalted position as a society where people who work hard, save actively, take responsibility for themselves and their families get *punished* by having to pick up the tab for people who do none of the above. I hope it brings you cheer to know that as you worked hard and paid lots of taxes, you taking care of losers, drug addicts, sex offenders, drunks, and thugs ... and that's just the Congress. Your "benefit" from the AARP comes in the form of them lobbying for financially disastrous programs like the senior's drug bill and doing everything in their power to prevent the privatization of retirement funds like Social Security (even though doing so could not possibly give us worse returns than the government has). We have met the enemy and it is our neighbors... -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tim Daneliuk PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/ |
#21
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
"Woodie" wrote in message news:xUiWj.108144$TT4.69152@attbi_s22... Charlie Self wrote: On May 12, 3:33 pm, Woodie wrote: And the #1 pick: 17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. You sure the proper term for #17 isn't "Politician"? I don't think that quite covers them... Politicians aren't JUST stupid assholes, they're also dishonest, self serving (not YOU Charlie, THEMselves), egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing, vermin. Not sure if we need a whole new word for that, or just Politician. What burns me about politicians/Al Gore is that they think we are dumb enough to swallow the crap that they/Al Gore spew. If politicians/Al Gore were smart, they/Al Gore would not be in politics. |
#22
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Tim Daneliuk wrote:
Woodie wrote: Tim Daneliuk wrote: Woodie wrote: Charlie Self wrote: On May 12, 3:33 pm, Woodie wrote: And the #1 pick: 17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. You sure the proper term for #17 isn't "Politician"? I don't think that quite covers them... Politicians aren't JUST stupid assholes, they're also dishonest, self serving (not YOU Charlie, THEMselves), egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing, vermin. Not sure if we need a whole new word for that, or just Politician. It's funny. Everyone says they hate politicians. But really, politicians just do what is required for reelection - i.e., What their constituents want. If you don't like how your politician is acting, take a close look at what your neighbors and/or you are demanding of them. The real bad guy here is The Sheeeple. As someone who worked for many years around politicians, who knows hundreds of them personally, I can tell you that the "Sheeple" don't know one percent of what their elected officials actually do. Most of their substantive activities are done in private, regardless of law requiring otherwise, and will never be publicized. That which you know about your elected officials is generally only that which they wish known. That is certainly true. But, I also don't know the details of how my doctor, accountant, plumber, or banker do their jobs. I primarily focus on their results, since that's all that really matters to me. This is also the case for politicians. No matter how honest or slimy or good or bad or ... a politician may be, they get into their jobs because The Sheeple, um, *vote* for them. Most people do this because the politician promises to do or give them stuff they want. I suspect that most people enter politics with the intent of making their community, state, or nation better in some sense. They quickly discover that "better" is not commonly defined in their constituency. So - knowing they must stand for reelection to continue to make things better - they find the "better" that has the widest support among their voters and promptly pander to them, buying their votes (with Other People's Money - taxes) in the process. You can hardly blame the politicians for doing what they are being pressured to do. Agreed many people vote based on what they think their politician promises to give them, but a large number of people vote based on politicians' promise to STOP what the government is doing to them. (I include myself in that group) Of course, those promises seldom materialize. Let me give you an example. Everyone screams about the vast US debt. But, over 50% of the US Federal budget alone (never mind local and state government) is made of *entitlements* - handouts to various special interest and lobbying groups. The biggest lobby in the US is not some big eeeeeeevil corporation, it is ... the elderly, via the AARP. No matter how much people holler about the debt, the fact is that no politician could survive if they proposed that people take responsibility for themselves and thereby gutted the social handouts. The enemy of a balanced budget is thus not the Congress, it's *all of us*. This doesn't make politicians noble, it makes them pragmatic. The difference between the AARP and some other groups is that the AARP is made up largely of people that have paid into a system all of their lives, and now would like some of that repaid to them to improve their golden years. They're generally looking for a repayment, not a handout. Yes, that's a broad generalization with notable exceptions, but a valid one nonetheless. This behavior transcends social or economic status. People with little money demand government care. People with large sums of money demand special tax breaks. Farmers want subsidies. Corporations lobby Congress for favors. Students want "free" university educations. Moms want "free" daycare. In short, almost *everyone* wants something they themselves have not earned, so they raid their neighbors wallets. This puts the politicians in the position of deciding who gets raided and who gets bought, and *we put them in that role*. In the end, the only real difference between Left/Right/Republican/Democrat is their respective definition of "better", who gets looted, and who gets bought. Well said. But while *everyone* *wants* something they themselves have not earned, not all people are willing to plunder the public coffers and impact the well being of others to get it. For years I shared your view that politicians were the problem. But I was wrong. Even considering the overtly corrupt, thieving scoundrels that occasionally get caught, they are nowhere near as ethically compromised as John Q. Citizen who refuses to live within his means, save for his retirement, care for his children, actively participate in their education, and generally help himself to Other People's Money via the politicians he elects. Democracy cannot survive when the majority of the citizens view themselves as entitled, not responsible for themselves, and willing to - in effect - steal from other citizens. I didn't state that politicians were THE problem. I merely gave my opinion of politicians, and I stand behind it. And while I agree largely with what you're saying, I disagree that *everyone* is plundering his neighbors to subsidize his laziness. Some of us have to be the plundered in order for this to work. I think the two party system, with left vs. right, to be at the heart of our problems. The parties lean as far in their respective directions as they can in order to differentiate themselves from the other party. The far leaning rhetoric seems to be what is necessary to garner votes. However, if you talk to most any American one-on-one, you'll find someone who is moderate in nature, and not particularly fond of either party's extreme view. It's a bit puzzling. |
#23
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
J. Clarke wrote:
Woodie wrote: Charlie Self wrote: On May 12, 3:33 pm, Woodie wrote: And the #1 pick: 17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. You sure the proper term for #17 isn't "Politician"? I don't think that quite covers them... Politicians aren't JUST stupid assholes, they're also dishonest, self serving (not YOU Charlie, THEMselves), egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing, vermin. Aw, now, what have dishonest, self serving, egotistical, devious, sniveling, manipulating, lying, stealing vermin ever done to deserve an insult like that? Sort of demeaning to regular vermin, ain't it? |
#24
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Woodie wrote:
Let me give you an example. Everyone screams about the vast US debt. But, over 50% of the US Federal budget alone (never mind local and state government) is made of *entitlements* - handouts to various special interest and lobbying groups. The biggest lobby in the US is not some big eeeeeeevil corporation, it is ... the elderly, via the AARP. No matter how much people holler about the debt, the fact is that no politician could survive if they proposed that people take responsibility for themselves and thereby gutted the social handouts. The enemy of a balanced budget is thus not the Congress, it's *all of us*. This doesn't make politicians noble, it makes them pragmatic. The difference between the AARP and some other groups is that the AARP is made up largely of people that have paid into a system all of their lives, and now would like some of that repaid to them to improve their golden years. They're generally looking for a repayment, not a handout. Yes, that's a broad generalization with notable exceptions, but a valid one nonetheless. Well ... sort of. The point of insurance is that the insurer hopes to pay out less than they take in premiums. The insured hopes to have a limitless supply of coverage, no matter what they paid in. In the private sector, very sophisticated actuarial models are used by the insurers, and these drive the premiums. The insured then choose what they can afford, knowing the amount of coverage they get. But government being what it is, there is little such sophistication. The fact is that a good many people today will live long enough to collect far, far more than they ever put in. That wouldn't be so bad had the government actually *invested* the "premiums" paid. Given the growth of the economy since the mid-20th century, SS might even be self-sustaining had they done so. But ... again pandering to all the "I want something" crowd, the "premiums" were spent almost upon receipt with the government writing itself IOUs for the future. Well, the future is here. Instead of SS just being "supplementary", it is now viewed by many seniors as "their" retirement. Instead of targeting a retirement age as it did originally - wherein a certain significant number of people died before collecting - we now have more people than ever putting stress on the system. Medicare is an even worse abyss. In fact, the entitlements system is so bloated and out of touch with the reality, that the head of the GAO recently went on a nationwide tour to try and sound the alarm - We simply cannot spend what we do not have. Not only are we going broke doing that, the interest we're paying on the consequent debt is a significant part of our budget as well. Never mind the fact that we're borrowing from less than reputable countries like China. It's really simple: We - each of us - are entitled to what we earn. No more. Need does not constitute right. This behavior transcends social or economic status. People with little money demand government care. People with large sums of money demand special tax breaks. Farmers want subsidies. Corporations lobby Congress for favors. Students want "free" university educations. Moms want "free" daycare. In short, almost *everyone* wants something they themselves have not earned, so they raid their neighbors wallets. This puts the politicians in the position of deciding who gets raided and who gets bought, and *we put them in that role*. In the end, the only real difference between Left/Right/Republican/Democrat is their respective definition of "better", who gets looted, and who gets bought. Well said. But while *everyone* *wants* something they themselves have not earned, not all people are willing to plunder the public coffers and impact the well being of others to get it. I agree. For years I shared your view that politicians were the problem. But I was wrong. Even considering the overtly corrupt, thieving scoundrels that occasionally get caught, they are nowhere near as ethically compromised as John Q. Citizen who refuses to live within his means, save for his retirement, care for his children, actively participate in their education, and generally help himself to Other People's Money via the politicians he elects. Democracy cannot survive when the majority of the citizens view themselves as entitled, not responsible for themselves, and willing to - in effect - steal from other citizens. I didn't state that politicians were THE problem. I merely gave my opinion of politicians, and I stand behind it. And while I agree largely with what you're saying, I disagree that *everyone* is plundering his neighbors to subsidize his laziness. Some of us have to be the plundered in order for this to work. That's true and I am among the plundered as well. But, I think you'll discover that a very small percentage of the general population picks up the tab for the majority. The top 5% of income earners pay *60%* of the Federal taxes alone. (http://www.ntu.org/main/page.php?PageID=6) It is an iniquitous arrangement enabled by unrestrained mob rule and greed. Is it everyone? No. It's most people. I think the two party system, with left vs. right, to be at the heart of our problems. The parties lean as far in their respective directions as they can in order to differentiate themselves from the other party. The far leaning rhetoric seems to be what is necessary to garner votes. However, if you talk to most any American one-on-one, you'll find someone who is moderate in nature, and not particularly fond of either party's extreme view. It's a bit puzzling. I am not a moderate, nor do I wish to be one. Freedom cannot be compromised. I want rule of law especially as expressed in the doctrine of Enumerated Powers that was supposed to limit the action of the Federal government. If the states or municipalities want to run Ponzi schemes like Social Security, that's fine with me. I'll either live with it or move to another more rational state. But I am proudly American. I don't want to be forced to move elsewhere (and just where would that be anyway?) because my government refuses to obey the law of the land. And finally, here's something troubling. It is rumored that people of significant wealth are starting to move their assets to Grand Cayman because GC has much less banking transparency than even Swizerland. What do you suppose will happen to the rest of us when the wealthy - who've had just about enough of picking up the tab for every lazy loser in society - no longer invest their money here? -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tim Daneliuk PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/ |
#25
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
"Woodie" wrote:
I for one, believe we deserve better. And yes, I do work towards that goal. Sounds like you should run for office. Lew |
#26
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Tim Daneliuk wrote:
Woodie wrote: Let me give you an example. Everyone screams about the vast US debt. But, over 50% of the US Federal budget alone (never mind local and state government) is made of *entitlements* - handouts to various special interest and lobbying groups. The biggest lobby in the US is not some big eeeeeeevil corporation, it is ... the elderly, via the AARP. No matter how much people holler about the debt, the fact is that no politician could survive if they proposed that people take responsibility for themselves and thereby gutted the social handouts. The enemy of a balanced budget is thus not the Congress, it's *all of us*. This doesn't make politicians noble, it makes them pragmatic. The difference between the AARP and some other groups is that the AARP is made up largely of people that have paid into a system all of their lives, and now would like some of that repaid to them to improve their golden years. They're generally looking for a repayment, not a handout. Yes, that's a broad generalization with notable exceptions, but a valid one nonetheless. Well ... sort of. The point of insurance is that the insurer hopes to pay out less than they take in premiums. The insured hopes to have a limitless supply of coverage, no matter what they paid in. In the private sector, very sophisticated actuarial models are used by the insurers, and these drive the premiums. The insured then choose what they can afford, knowing the amount of coverage they get. But government being what it is, there is little such sophistication. The fact is that a good many people today will live long enough to collect far, far more than they ever put in. That wouldn't be so bad had the government actually *invested* the "premiums" paid. Given the growth of the economy since the mid-20th century, SS might even be self-sustaining had they done so. But ... again pandering to all the "I want something" crowd, the "premiums" were spent almost upon receipt with the government writing itself IOUs for the future. Well, the future is here. Instead of SS just being "supplementary", it is now viewed by many seniors as "their" retirement. Instead of targeting a retirement age as it did originally - wherein a certain significant number of people died before collecting - we now have more people than ever putting stress on the system. Medicare is an even worse abyss. In fact, the entitlements system is so bloated and out of touch with the reality, that the head of the GAO recently went on a nationwide tour to try and sound the alarm - We simply cannot spend what we do not have. Not only are we going broke doing that, the interest we're paying on the consequent debt is a significant part of our budget as well. Never mind the fact that we're borrowing from less than reputable countries like China. It's really simple: We - each of us - are entitled to what we earn. No more. Need does not constitute right. This behavior transcends social or economic status. People with little money demand government care. People with large sums of money demand special tax breaks. Farmers want subsidies. Corporations lobby Congress for favors. Students want "free" university educations. Moms want "free" daycare. In short, almost *everyone* wants something they themselves have not earned, so they raid their neighbors wallets. This puts the politicians in the position of deciding who gets raided and who gets bought, and *we put them in that role*. In the end, the only real difference between Left/Right/Republican/Democrat is their respective definition of "better", who gets looted, and who gets bought. Well said. But while *everyone* *wants* something they themselves have not earned, not all people are willing to plunder the public coffers and impact the well being of others to get it. I agree. For years I shared your view that politicians were the problem. But I was wrong. Even considering the overtly corrupt, thieving scoundrels that occasionally get caught, they are nowhere near as ethically compromised as John Q. Citizen who refuses to live within his means, save for his retirement, care for his children, actively participate in their education, and generally help himself to Other People's Money via the politicians he elects. Democracy cannot survive when the majority of the citizens view themselves as entitled, not responsible for themselves, and willing to - in effect - steal from other citizens. I didn't state that politicians were THE problem. I merely gave my opinion of politicians, and I stand behind it. And while I agree largely with what you're saying, I disagree that *everyone* is plundering his neighbors to subsidize his laziness. Some of us have to be the plundered in order for this to work. That's true and I am among the plundered as well. But, I think you'll discover that a very small percentage of the general population picks up the tab for the majority. The top 5% of income earners pay *60%* of the Federal taxes alone. (http://www.ntu.org/main/page.php?PageID=6) It is an iniquitous arrangement enabled by unrestrained mob rule and greed. Is it everyone? No. It's most people. I think the two party system, with left vs. right, to be at the heart of our problems. The parties lean as far in their respective directions as they can in order to differentiate themselves from the other party. The far leaning rhetoric seems to be what is necessary to garner votes. However, if you talk to most any American one-on-one, you'll find someone who is moderate in nature, and not particularly fond of either party's extreme view. It's a bit puzzling. I am not a moderate, nor do I wish to be one. Freedom cannot be compromised. I want rule of law especially as expressed in the doctrine of Enumerated Powers that was supposed to limit the action of the Federal government. If the states or municipalities want to run Ponzi schemes like Social Security, that's fine with me. I'll either live with it or move to another more rational state. But I am proudly American. I don't want to be forced to move elsewhere (and just where would that be anyway?) because my government refuses to obey the law of the land. Perhaps my use of the word 'moderate' was unfortunate, as that implies moderate as defined by the political pundits. Perhaps what I should have said was reasonable. The majority of people, when talked to as individuals, feel that they should take care of themselves financially, that they're happy to help others that need it, that they're disgusted with foolish use of taxed funds. Many disagree strongly on what defines foolish use, but there's a solid common ground on which to build. You seem a bit Libertarian-leaning, as am I. The notion that you're responsible for your own well being, and responsible for what you do to the well being of others, is what Libertarianism is founded upon. You should be free to do as you please as long as you're not harming someone else. The 'responsible for yourself' part is what turns off the left-most spectrum of America, and the 'responsible for what you do to the well being of others' is what turns off the right-most of the spectrum. And finally, here's something troubling. It is rumored that people of significant wealth are starting to move their assets to Grand Cayman because GC has much less banking transparency than even Swizerland. What do you suppose will happen to the rest of us when the wealthy - who've had just about enough of picking up the tab for every lazy loser in society - no longer invest their money here? Easy. Invade Grand Cayman. I'll volunteer to be the new Governor. |
#27
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Lew Hodgett wrote:
"Woodie" wrote: I for one, believe we deserve better. And yes, I do work towards that goal. Sounds like you should run for office. Lew Funny... Anyone who should be in there, probably doesn't want the job. |
#28
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Woodie wrote:
SNIP Easy. Invade Grand Cayman. I'll volunteer to be the new Governor. I want to be Minister Of Scuba Diving. However, if Obama is President, we'd likely lose... -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tim Daneliuk PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/ |
#29
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
On Tue, 13 May 2008 12:58:40 -0500, Tim Daneliuk
wrote: Swingman wrote: "Tim Daneliuk" wrote special interest and lobbying groups. The biggest lobby in the US is not some big eeeeeeevil corporation, it is ... the elderly, via the AARP. No matter how much people holler about the debt, the fact is that no politician could survive if they proposed that people take responsibility for themselves and thereby gutted the social handouts. Not a fan of AARP (but a member, by proxy, cuz SWMBO is) and now officially "elderly", under the property tax laws of the State of Texas, just where do I go to get these "social handouts" due to my official status/membership?? I be needing some ... cuz I'm one (married, filing jointly) of those who only got $600/couple rebate (to spend on lottery tickets, Tom) because the HUGE "self-employment" taxes I've been paying for the last 40 years (because I "take responsibility for myself" by WORKING) were not counted as "net tax liability" for purposes of figuring the rebate. The f*ckers! pardon my French, but that really ****es me off! Yeah me too. We have reached the exalted position as a society where people who work hard, save actively, take responsibility for themselves and their families get *punished* by having to pick up the tab for people who do none of the above. I hope it brings you cheer to know that as you worked hard and paid lots of taxes, you taking care of losers, drug addicts, sex offenders, drunks, and thugs ... and that's just the Congress. Your "benefit" from the AARP comes in the form of them lobbying for financially disastrous programs like the senior's drug bill and doing everything in their power to prevent the privatization of retirement funds like Social Security (even though doing so could not possibly give us worse returns than the government has). We have met the enemy and it is our neighbors... Guess I look at this in a slightly different way. One to calculate things, I did a present value analysis on the series of sums into the system that were my annual contribution to SS using a conservative 5% rate of return. Then use the same conservative rate and did a series of sums out that would be my payments to my actuarial end of life. Turns out if I had control of the money, my payment would be about double what it will be. Now that kinda makes me mad. Then I think about my Grandmother who lived to be 101 and my mother who is 84 who are or did live on that payment, whose hubands died relatively young and probably did not contribute enough to warrant the payments to their spouses and I don't feel so bad. Wife's Grandmother lived to 94, husband died in his fifties, she worked in a textile factory until forced to retire, and I'm sure she didn't pay in enough to warrant the outlay. So, in a sense, I'm helping to cover them. None of these people were the" losers" that you describe above, and while I'm sure they exist, I would venture to say they are a small percentage. But I'm now considered elderly, so if you can send me a list of the social handouts I'm due it would be appreciated..... Frank |
#30
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
Frank Boettcher wrote:
SNIP Guess I look at this in a slightly different way. One to calculate things, I did a present value analysis on the series of sums into the system that were my annual contribution to SS using a conservative 5% rate of return. Then use the same conservative rate and did a series of sums out that would be my payments to my actuarial end of life. Turns out if I had control of the money, my payment would be about double what it will be. Now that kinda makes me mad. Then I think about my Grandmother who lived to be 101 and my mother who is 84 who are or did live on that payment, whose hubands died relatively young and probably did not contribute enough to warrant the payments to their spouses and I don't feel so bad. Wife's Grandmother lived to 94, husband died in his fifties, she worked in a textile factory until forced to retire, and I'm sure she didn't pay in enough to warrant the outlay. So, in a sense, I'm helping to cover them. Had you (and your parents/grandparents) been able to invest your own incomes (and actually done so), I rather think your family could have covered each other nicely. Look at the stock market growth from the end of WWII through 1970. 5% is very conservative, I'd guess. None of these people were the" losers" that you describe above, and while I'm sure they exist, I would venture to say they are a small percentage. I did not say, nor do I think, that everyone involved is a "loser". But beyond the obvious abuses of the system, what do you call someone who lives an ordinary life, works the entire time, and saves little or nothing for retirement. I am constantly amazed at retirees driving new cars, with a nice condo, a flatscreen TV, etc. who then complain they don't have enough to live on, that they need someone else to pay for medical care, medicine, etc. I don't think that is hyperbolic. The simple fact is that most Americans are not savers or investors at anywhere near the rate they need to be to retire even modestly. I don't mind helping out people in genuine need though no fault of their own. I object to paying for people who refuse to be self sufficient when they could be. That just rips money out of my wallet that ought to go to *my* family to support strangers. But I'm now considered elderly, so if you can send me a list of the social handouts I'm due it would be appreciated..... Social Security for life Medicare for life Drug Benefits for life An extra tax deduction A more-or-less "free" (to you) giant lobby in D.C. demanding more every day. Politicians who will do almost whatever you demand because of the size of your voting block. Again, I do not begrudge anyone in genuine need. To that end, I'd like to see a reasonable approach to this mess. To whit: Raise the retirement age. Do means testing for all benefits. Spend the next 30years weaning off the SS system in favor of private retirement accounts. Take the caps off 401Ks, Roths, and IRAs to incent people to save. Better still, move to a Fair Sales Tax system that obviates the need for retirement tax shelters. At least the criminals would be contributing to the tax base that way. After all, drug dealers buy Ferarris. Start gutting the Federal government and move it back to its Constitutionally mandated role (over time - this can't happen in a year) of defending the borders, running the Federal courts, and so forth. A 3% reduction in real terms per year of the Federal budget would save a bunch of money in not too many years. To do this, you have to do three things it seems to me: - Zero base the budget for *every* Federal program every year - Give the President the line item veto - Make earmarking and other non-relevant riders onto Congressional bills illegal. Get rid of unfunded Federal mandates and make the States sing for their own supper when it comes to entitlements. If people want "free" stuff, they should at least have the manners to impose the requisite taxes on their local neighborhood where people can vote with- or against them. It is flatly unethical and wrong to use the Federal government to make some fisherman in Alaska pick up the tab for lousy education in Detroit. The Demographics here are scary. There are lots of us either in- or about to enter retirement in the next decade. Far more than there are children of ours to support our bloated entitlements. Historically, nations in financial trouble "fix this sort of thing in one of several ways: 1) Raise taxes, thereby crushing growth 2) Increase deficit spending, thereby raising the interest burden 3) Inflate the currency, thereby draining the wealth of all savers 4) Go to perpetual war Any of this sound familiar? The one outlier here is if our children and grandchildren can figure out a way to become super productive. Wealth is ultimately a measure of productivity. But that's not likely. US business is actually very efficient these days, and finding a big bang improvement is unlikely any time soon. Secondly, it requires a work ethic and commitment to excellence that, frankly, I don't see much anywhere these days, at almost any age. Maybe that's the Old Grump in me talking, but I am regularly astonished at the sheer lack of paying attention that characterizes our culture at-large. Other than that, I think everything is fine ... -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tim Daneliuk PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/ |
#31
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
"Frank Boettcher" wrote
But I'm now considered elderly, so if you can send me a list of the social handouts I'm due it would be appreciated..... Last time you looked in the mirror was there an "elderly" Anglo Saxon(+/-) male looking back 'atcha? Don't bother waiting ... you don't qualify. -- www.e-woodshop.net Last update: 3/27/08 KarlC@ (the obvious) |
#32
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
"Swingman" wrote in message ... I be needing some ... cuz I'm one (married, filing jointly) of those who only got $600/couple rebate (to spend on lottery tickets, Tom) Only $500/couple? I gots a form letter from the IRS this very day advising me and my SYB that our $1200 check will be here by the 16th. WOO-HOOOOO! Dave in Houston |
#33
Posted to rec.woodworking
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OT - A Compendium of Puntifications
"Tim Daneliuk" wrote in message ... Yeah me too. We have reached the exalted position as a society where people who work hard, save actively, take responsibility for themselves and their families get *punished* by having to pick up the tab for people who do none of the above. I hope it brings you cheer to know that as you worked hard and paid lots of taxes, you taking care of losers, drug addicts, sex offenders, drunks, and thugs ... and . . . . . . and that's just the folks that occupy prison cells. Dave in Houston |
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