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| UK diy (uk.d-i-y) For the discussion of all topics related to diy (do-it-yourself) in the UK. All levels of experience and proficency are welcome to join in to ask questions or offer solutions. |
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#1
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Sigh
Steve Firth wrote:
perspective which suggests that eleven years is the maximum that you should go for and if the wife scolds you should divorce her on the spot. Rather like the story of old... A newly married couple are leaving the reception for the long horse and carriage ride to their new home. After several hours of travel a stray dog runs into the path of the horse. This spooks it somewhat. The husband climbs down from the carriage, and after settling the horse, points a finger at the animal, and with some menace says "Don't do that again! That is your first warning". They carry on a little further until some children playing in the street of a village again spook the horse. The husband again calms the animal, but then tells it "That is you last and final warning!". They continue their journey for several more miles until they are within an hour of their new home. It's getting dark and they are in open countryside. An owl rather unexpectedly makes a loud noise which again causes the horse to rear up. With that the husband steps down from the carriage, retrieves a pistol from within his coat, and calmly shoots the horse between the eyes. The man's new wife sees this and is beside herself. She shouts at her husband "I can't believe you just did that, how can you be so callus and un-feeling, the poor animal was just scared! How are we going to get to our home now? It is still miles away and we have all this luggage! What kind of monster have I married?". The man calmly looks at his wife, points his finger at her, and says "This is your first warning!". -- Cheers, John. /================================================== ===============\ | Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk | |-----------------------------------------------------------------| | John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk | \================================================= ================/ |
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#2
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#3
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"Colin Wilson" wrote in message t... In article , says... So, after measuring, measuring again, drilling a small pilot hole, measuring again, drilling the main holes and mounting the expensive taps on the expensive bath, SWMBO is summoned for an admire and says; "Shouldn't the word "HOT" be the right way up?" On the tap that goes round as you open and close it, that is. Kinda reminds me of the joke about the woman in Halfords trying to buy a "710" cap Umm. I have a stache of men stories ... just being their usual stupid selves, nothing special :-) Mray |
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#4
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Umm. I have a stache of men stories ... just being their usual stupid selves, nothing special :-) Mray What kind of stache would that be - a moustache? Phil |
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#6
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On Sat, 11 Dec 2004 16:14:23 -0000, "Mary Fisher"
wrote: "Colin Wilson" wrote in message et... In article , says... So, after measuring, measuring again, drilling a small pilot hole, measuring again, drilling the main holes and mounting the expensive taps on the expensive bath, SWMBO is summoned for an admire and says; "Shouldn't the word "HOT" be the right way up?" On the tap that goes round as you open and close it, that is. Kinda reminds me of the joke about the woman in Halfords trying to buy a "710" cap Umm. I have a stache of men stories ... just being their usual stupid selves, nothing special :-) Mray Did spouse undo the kitchen padlock and chain again? :-) -- ..andy To email, substitute .nospam with .gl |
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#7
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"Phil" wrote in message ... Umm. I have a stache of men stories ... just being their usual stupid selves, nothing special :-) Mary What kind of stache would that be - a moustache? In my opinion a man with a moustache - or moustaches - looks henpecked. I don't know why they bother to advertise it ... Mary |
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#8
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#9
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"Huge" wrote in message
... (Andrew Gabriel) writes: In article , (Huge) writes: So, after measuring, measuring again, drilling a small pilot hole, measuring again, drilling the main holes and mounting the expensive taps on the expensive bath, SWMBO is summoned for an admire and says; "Shouldn't the word "HOT" be the right way up?" On the tap that goes round as you open and close it, that is. Grrrr. Why do I bother? Why don't you turn the tap round 180 degrees so the spout points over the floor, and see if she prefers it? ;-) *grin* I can't - it's against a wall. (Besides, the taps are horizontal, so I'd have to fit them upside down.) Tell her you agree with her, and give her the toolkit so she can get on with it. |
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#10
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"Coherers" wrote in message news  "Huge" wrote in message ... (Andrew Gabriel) writes: In article , (Huge) writes: So, after measuring, measuring again, drilling a small pilot hole, measuring again, drilling the main holes and mounting the expensive taps on the expensive bath, SWMBO is summoned for an admire and says; "Shouldn't the word "HOT" be the right way up?" On the tap that goes round as you open and close it, that is. Grrrr. Why do I bother? Why don't you turn the tap round 180 degrees so the spout points over the floor, and see if she prefers it? ;-) *grin* I can't - it's against a wall. (Besides, the taps are horizontal, so I'd have to fit them upside down.) Tell her you agree with her, and give her the toolkit so she can get on with it. Or takethem back to the supplier and complain that they're not suitab le for their intended purpose. Mary |
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#11
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"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
et... Or takethem back to the supplier and complain that they're not suitab le for their intended purpose. :-D Better still, take the wife back to the supplier and complain that she's not fit for her intended purpose (Oooh! Bitter and twisted...) |
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#12
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"Huge" wrote
| (Besides, the taps are horizontal, so I'd have to fit them upside down.) Even better. Mount the H and C discs in the tap centres on pivots and weight them, so that regardless of the position of the taphead the disc is always correctly aligned with the letters upright. Don't Rolls do something similar with their hub caps? Owain |
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#13
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"Huge" wrote
| "Coherers" writes: | Tell her you agree with her, and give her the toolkit so she can get | on with it. | Given that there is presently a state of non-communication in the | house, I suspect this would inflame matters further. If she starts indiscriminately whacking things with a big heavy spanner it might not be only matters that are inflamed :-) | So ... it's an excellent idea. Thanks. Have you thought of asking for a nice shed for christmas ;-) Owain |
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#14
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"Coherers" wrote in message news  Better still, take the wife back to the supplier and complain that she's not fit for her intended purpose (Oooh! Bitter and twisted...) Your comment says more about you than about your wife. |
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#15
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"Owain" wrote in message ... Have you thought of asking for a nice shed for christmas ;-) I've just bought a book on how to build some super sheds. Sadly it's for a son for when he gets his own house (i.e. not a services one). Mary Owain |
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#16
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"Owain" wrote in message ... Even better. Mount the H and C discs in the tap centres on pivots and weight them, so that regardless of the position of the taphead the disc is always correctly aligned with the letters upright. What a splendid idea! But only if you have letters on your taps. I have to rely on my memory - or feeling the water ... Mary |
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#17
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On Sun, 12 Dec 2004 16:20:00 -0000, Mary Fisher wrote:
"Owain" wrote in message ... Have you thought of asking for a nice shed for christmas ;-) I've just bought a book on how to build some super sheds. Isn't that akin to the Sunday visit to the DIY Superstore, where you can browse to your heart's content and then not buy and consequently not have to actually do the work........ :-) -- the dot wanderer at tesco dot net |
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#18
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"Mary Fisher" wrote in message et... "Coherers" wrote in message news Better still, take the wife back to the supplier and complain that she's not fit for her intended purpose (Oooh! Bitter and twisted...) Your comment says more about you Like that I am bitter and twisted? Sorry, didn't I mention that ? ;-) than about your wife. Bit of a sexist assumption there Mary. Shame on you ! I am a happily married woman, I'll have you know. |
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#20
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In message , Mary
Fisher writes "Owain" wrote in message ... Even better. Mount the H and C discs in the tap centres on pivots and weight them, so that regardless of the position of the taphead the disc is always correctly aligned with the letters upright. What a splendid idea! But only if you have letters on your taps. I have to rely on my memory - or feeling the water ... I've plumbed everything here for hot on the left and cold on the right . .. . with the exception of a single lever mixer tap which I can never remember which way to turn. -- bof at bof dot me dot uk |
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#21
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"Huge" wrote
| Even better. Mount the H and C discs in the tap centres on pivots and | weight them, so that regardless of the position of the taphead the | disc is always correctly aligned with the letters upright. Don't | Rolls do something similar with their hub caps? | They do. But a Roller is £250K, and while these taps were expensive, | they weren't *that* expensive. But as a proportion of the total cost, the discs in the taps probably cost as much as the hubcaps on a Rolls. Owain |
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#22
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"Mary Fisher" wrote in
et: What kind of stache would that be - a moustache? In my opinion a man with a moustache - or moustaches - looks henpecked. How innocent I don't know why they bother to advertise it ... Deep calleth unto deep mike |
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#23
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"Phil" wrote in news:cpfhkq$oe1$1
@hercules.btinternet.com: Mray What kind of stache would that be - a moustache? Phil Portmanteau word store? and cache. Mray's got a million mike |
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#24
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"bof" wrote in message ... I've plumbed everything here for hot on the left and cold on the right . . . with the exception of a single lever mixer tap which I can never remember which way to turn. I've had a look at our taps. The bath says Hot and Cold in black on white, they're very old. The bathroom sink is red on the left and blank on the right, the bit of plastic having fallen out. The kitchen taps are swan necked lab taps, with the controls facing to the side so I had to look carefully. The hot is red, the cold is green. All the hots are on the left, all the cold are on the right, as I'd expect. I thought it was the standard. Why do we need to read what's on the control? Surely it becomes habit? Mary -- bof at bof dot me dot uk |
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#25
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In message , Huge
writes So, after measuring, measuring again, drilling a small pilot hole, measuring again, drilling the main holes and mounting the expensive taps on the expensive bath, SWMBO is summoned for an admire and says; "Shouldn't the word "HOT" be the right way up?" On the tap that goes round as you open and close it, that is. That's what comes of buying left handed tape measures -- geoff |
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#26
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In message , Mary
Fisher writes "Colin Wilson" wrote in message et... In article , says... So, after measuring, measuring again, drilling a small pilot hole, measuring again, drilling the main holes and mounting the expensive taps on the expensive bath, SWMBO is summoned for an admire and says; "Shouldn't the word "HOT" be the right way up?" On the tap that goes round as you open and close it, that is. Kinda reminds me of the joke about the woman in Halfords trying to buy a "710" cap Umm. I have a stache of men stories ... just being their usual stupid selves, nothing special :-) Mray Mkay -- geoff |
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#28
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In message , bof
writes In message , Mary Fisher writes "Owain" wrote in message ... Even better. Mount the H and C discs in the tap centres on pivots and weight them, so that regardless of the position of the taphead the disc is always correctly aligned with the letters upright. What a splendid idea! But only if you have letters on your taps. I have to rely on my memory - or feeling the water ... I've plumbed everything here for hot on the left and cold on the right . . . with the exception of a single lever mixer tap which I can never remember which way to turn. Not ... the "Hot on the left, cold on the right discussion" again -- geoff |
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#29
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On Sun, 12 Dec 2004 23:31:01 UTC, raden wrote:
One could do the same with conventionally mounted taps...have a little magnetised compass needle (on a movable bezel) inside each one... Or ... one could get out a bit more Indeed....the proper engineer's approach is surely not to have any directionality to what's on the tap. Just make it red or blue! -- Bob Eager begin a new life...dump Windows! |
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#30
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In article ,
Mary Fisher wrote: What kind of stache would that be - a moustache? In my opinion a man with a moustache - or moustaches - looks henpecked. I don't know why they bother to advertise it ... A few years ago - in the major conurbations at least - a moustache on a man meant there was a good chance he was gay. So not henpecked. ;-) -- *One of us is thinking about sex... OK, it's me. Dave Plowman London SW To e-mail, change noise into sound. |
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#31
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On 12 Dec 2004 11:36:08 GMT, (Huge) wrote:
(Andrew Gabriel) writes: In article , (Huge) writes: So, after measuring, measuring again, drilling a small pilot hole, measuring again, drilling the main holes and mounting the expensive taps on the expensive bath, SWMBO is summoned for an admire and says; "Shouldn't the word "HOT" be the right way up?" On the tap that goes round as you open and close it, that is. Grrrr. Why do I bother? Why don't you turn the tap round 180 degrees so the spout points over the floor, and see if she prefers it? ;-) *grin* I can't - it's against a wall. (Besides, the taps are horizontal, so I'd have to fit them upside down.) Why should you try any harder than a Dolphin fitter...... |
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#32
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#33
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On Sun, 12 Dec 2004 15:10:23 -0000, "Owain"
strung together this: "Huge" wrote | (Besides, the taps are horizontal, so I'd have to fit them upside down.) Even better. Mount the H and C discs in the tap centres on pivots and weight them, so that regardless of the position of the taphead the disc is always correctly aligned with the letters upright. Don't Rolls do something similar with their hub caps? I saw a Somerfield delivery van the other day that had those, with somerfield logos in them. Might be somewhat cheaper to buy a secondhand ex-Somerfield Iveco than a Roller.... -- SJW Please reply to group or use 'usenet' in email subject |
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#34
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In article , owain41276
@stirlingcity.co.uk says... "Huge" wrote | Even better. Mount the H and C discs in the tap centres on pivots and | weight them, so that regardless of the position of the taphead the | disc is always correctly aligned with the letters upright. Don't | Rolls do something similar with their hub caps? | They do. But a Roller is =A3250K, and while these taps were expensive, | they weren't *that* expensive. =20 I don't think thats true. I once found a Rolls Royce hub cap and it was=20 nothing special. Something similiar to this can be found in the hubs of certain buses and=20 lorries. It displays, I presume, mileage. It doesn't rotate with the=20 wheel but can often be seen swinging as the vehicle stops --=20 Paul Mc Cann |
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#35
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On Mon, 13 Dec 2004 00:43:20 +0000 (GMT), "Dave Plowman (News)"
wrote: In article , Mary Fisher wrote: What kind of stache would that be - a moustache? In my opinion a man with a moustache - or moustaches - looks henpecked. I don't know why they bother to advertise it ... A few years ago - in the major conurbations at least - a moustache on a man meant there was a good chance he was gay. So not henpecked. ;-) That depends :-) -- ..andy To email, substitute .nospam with .gl |
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#36
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Dave Plowman (News) wrote:
In article , Mary Fisher wrote: What kind of stache would that be - a moustache? In my opinion a man with a moustache - or moustaches - looks henpecked. I don't know why they bother to advertise it ... A few years ago - in the major conurbations at least - a moustache on a man meant there was a good chance he was gay. So not henpecked. ;-) Wold that be cock-pecked then? |
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#37
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The message
from Paul Mc Cann contains these words: | Even better. Mount the H and C discs in the tap centres on pivots and | weight them, so that regardless of the position of the taphead the | disc is always correctly aligned with the letters upright. Don't | Rolls do something similar with their hub caps? | They do. But a Roller is £250K, and while these taps were expensive, | they weren't *that* expensive. I don't think thats true. I once found a Rolls Royce hub cap and it was nothing special. But it is true of late models. Your hub cap wouldn't have come off a £250K Rolls Royce. -- Roger |
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#38
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In article ,
Paul Mc Cann wrote: I don't think thats true. I once found a Rolls Royce hub cap and it was nothing special. It's only on the latest BMW Rolls. Would have been considered bling by Royce. -- *He who laughs last, thinks slowest. Dave Plowman London SW To e-mail, change noise into sound. |
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#39
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In article ,
Roger wrote: I don't think thats true. I once found a Rolls Royce hub cap and it was nothing special. But it is true of late models. Your hub cap wouldn't have come off a £250K Rolls Royce. And of course most haven't had hub caps as such for ages. From post war to about '70, they had a one piece wheel cover. Then for a couple of years a true hub cap with a chrome wheel rim trim too. After that alloy wheels became the norm. -- *If you remember the '60s, you weren't really there Dave Plowman London SW To e-mail, change noise into sound. |
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#40
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"Bob Eager" wrote
| raden wrote: | One could do the same with conventionally mounted taps...have a | little magnetised compass needle (on a movable bezel) inside | each one... | Or ... one could get out a bit more | Indeed....the proper engineer's approach is surely not to have any | directionality to what's on the tap. Just make it red or blue! I posted this before, but will post it again. Owain Following hot on the heels of the introduction of new wiring colours to harmonise British and European electrical installations, the EU is launching a consultation process into further integrating building construction methods across Europe. Plumbing. The marking of hot and cold taps with country- or language-specific designations such as 'H' & 'C' is an impediment to the free trade of plumbing fitting within the EU and does not accord with official EU policies on multilingualism. The EU is also concerned about the safety implications of a disparity of markings within the EU. The existing alphabetic-based legends are also contrary to the EU's policy on social inclusion for the literacy challenged. Accordingly, the Commission will introduce a Directive to ensure that all hot and cold taps are marked with Euro-standard pictograms of a snowflake for cold and a thermometer for hot. All new taps fitted after 4/2006 will have to comply with the Directive. Existing taps do not have to be replaced, but where a mix of old and new taps is present on an installation, an approved warning notice in all Community languages must be displayed adjacent to the mains water supply point. The Commission is also concerned that the practice of putting the cold tap on the right is both handist and disablist, discriminating as it does against left-handed and one- or -no-handed persons. The Commission will in a forthcoming Euro Water Directive require all taps fitted from 4/2008 to be of an Approved Euro Tap design with equal access to both hot and cold tap-handles from either side together with a child-proof temperature limiter. (c) me. |
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