UK diy (uk.d-i-y) For the discussion of all topics related to diy (do-it-yourself) in the UK. All levels of experience and proficency are welcome to join in to ask questions or offer solutions.

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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?
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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

On Tue, 14 Jan 2020 10:50:47 +0000, Tim Watts wrote:

Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


Would copious quantities of hot water and washing-up liquid be more
successful?
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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

Tim Watts wrote:

Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


I use a tiny amount of isopropanol on a microfibre cloth to
clean the haze from inside my car windows, it works a treat.
I think it would be wise to keep the isopropanol well away
from paintwork though.

--
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On 14/01/20 10:50, Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).


I find it's the stuff on the inside of the windscreen which is difficult
to get at due to the often shallow angle of the glass. This helps, but
isn't ideal:
https://www.halfords.com/motoring/car-cleaning/sponges-brushes-buckets/halfords-long-reach-windscreen-cleaner

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


Might be worth trying undiluted screenwash first, then rinsing with water.

--

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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

On 14/01/2020 11:08, Sn!pe wrote:
Tim Watts wrote:

Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


I use a tiny amount of isopropanol on a microfibre cloth to
clean the haze from inside my car windows, it works a treat.
I think it would be wise to keep the isopropanol well away
from paintwork though.


Isopropanol (aka IPA or propan2ol) won't affect paintwork, and I've used
it on the hard rubber of tape deck pinch wheels before now to remove
oxide residues with no damage, so window rubbers aren't likely to be
affected either.

Any residue left on rubbers etc can be removed with a cloth wetted with
water.



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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

On 14/01/2020 10:50, Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).


washing up liquid does..

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?


yes

Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?



surgical spirit


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On 14/01/2020 11:08, Sn!pe wrote:
Tim Watts wrote:

Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


I use a tiny amount of isopropanol on a microfibre cloth to
clean the haze from inside my car windows, it works a treat.
I think it would be wise to keep the isopropanol well away
from paintwork though.


nah. isopropyl alcohol is about as inert as it gest beyond water

what ya think is in screenwash anyway?

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The state of the cloth has a big effect.
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Tim Watts Wrote in message:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


Meths
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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

On Tuesday, 14 January 2020 10:50:50 UTC, Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


My fist american flatmate said newspaper and vinegar worked well for household
windows.



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whisky-dave Wrote in message:
On Tuesday, 14 January 2020 10:50:50 UTC, Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


My fist american flatmate said newspaper and vinegar worked well for household
windows.



Did you not look?
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On Tuesday, 14 January 2020 12:32:09 UTC, JimK wrote:
whisky-dave Wrote in message:
On Tuesday, 14 January 2020 10:50:50 UTC, Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


My fist american flatmate said newspaper and vinegar worked well for household
windows.



Did you not look?


Not really, being a man I don't clean windows, they clean themselves or stay dirty ;-)


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On 14/01/2020 12:29, whisky-dave wrote:


My fist american flatmate said newspaper and vinegar worked well for household
windows.


Maybe 25 years ago! Newspaper tends to be better quality these days and
less absorbent. The type of ink previously used, and came off on your
hands when reading the paper, had solvent sufficient for cleaning glass.
The ink used for newsprint changed decades ago.





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On Tuesday, 14 January 2020 13:11:26 UTC, alan_m wrote:
On 14/01/2020 12:29, whisky-dave wrote:


My fist american flatmate said newspaper and vinegar worked well for household
windows.


Maybe 25 years ago! Newspaper tends to be better quality these days and
less absorbent.


True and this was in 1991-92. Not sure what diffrecies there are between UK newsprint and US, at anytime regarding materials.
Vinegar's good on chips in the UK, not sure they use it in the states like we do here.


The type of ink previously used, and came off on your
hands when reading the paper, had solvent sufficient for cleaning glass.
The ink used for newsprint changed decades ago.





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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

On 14/01/2020 11:16, Jeff Layman wrote:
On 14/01/20 10:50, Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).


I find it's the stuff on the inside of the windscreen which is difficult
to get at due to the often shallow angle of the glass. This helps, but
isn't ideal:
https://www.halfords.com/motoring/car-cleaning/sponges-brushes-buckets/halfords-long-reach-windscreen-cleaner


And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


Might be worth trying undiluted screenwash first, then rinsing with water.


I use a big spraycan of glass cleaner bought at a local glazing,
window,conservatory place. Works a treat.


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On 14/01/2020 13:11, alan_m wrote:
On 14/01/2020 12:29, whisky-dave wrote:


My fist american flatmate said newspaper and vinegar worked well for
household
windows.


Maybe 25 years ago!Â* Newspaper tends to be better quality these days and
less absorbent. The type of ink previously used, and came off on your
hands when reading the paper, had solvent sufficient for cleaning glass.
The ink used for newsprint changed decades ago.

It still works very well for cleaning the inside of the glass on a wood
burner (without the vinegar)

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whisky-dave Wrote in message:
On Tuesday, 14 January 2020 12:32:09 UTC, JimK wrote:
whisky-dave Wrote in message:
On Tuesday, 14 January 2020 10:50:50 UTC, Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?

My fist american flatmate said newspaper and vinegar worked well for household
windows.



Did you not look?


Not really, being a man I don't clean windows, they clean themselves or stay dirty ;-)




I meant through them...
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"Tim Watts" wrote in message
...
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as well
without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).


I had a hell of a problem with the film that ends up on the
inside of the glass of the car. Nothing would shift it. A mate
suggested a commercial product and that works very well
indeed. Not cheap tho. But I dont get traffic film on mine
so I can't see if it works for traffic film as well.

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


How do you get sticker residue on your kitchen windows ?

Maybe you mean stickier residue.

Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?


Easy enough to do that yourself. Use ammonia that
comes in bottles in those manual spray bottles.

Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


Acetone does, but its very dangerous for plastics.

I wouldnt use it on car windows.

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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

In article ,
Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?


Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).


I reckon not much beats warm water and a decent washing up liquid, used
with a plastic pot scourer. Rinse with clean water and dry with a decent
chamois.

Screen wash additives also seem to vary quite a bit. BMW seem to make
(sell) one of the best ones.

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To e-mail, change noise into sound.
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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

On 14/01/2020 10:50, Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


Not quite what you're asking, but I use Stergene[1] in my windscreen
washer bottle - and that works a treat without creating too much froth.

Many years ago, the motor manufacturer for whom I then worked did some
experiments with various substances - both proprietary windscreen fluids
and household cleaners - and Stergene came out on top.


[1] When I can get it. It's no longer in plentiful supply, but the likes
of ASDA sometimes stock it.
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On 14/01/2020 15:19, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

Screen wash additives also seem to vary quite a bit. BMW seem to make
(sell) one of the best ones.


Often the problem is with machine car washes where the windscreen is
sprayed with wax as part of the final process. Screen wash additives
tend to work better once this wax is removed from the glass.

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In article ,
Sn!pe wrote:
Tim Watts wrote:


Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


I use a tiny amount of isopropanol on a microfibre cloth to
clean the haze from inside my car windows, it works a treat.
I think it would be wise to keep the isopropanol well away
from paintwork though.

isopropanol is usually abbreviated to IPA. An communication error could
lead to best bitter being used to clean a windscreen

--
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On Tue, 14 Jan 2020 15:19:26 +0000 (GMT), Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

I reckon not much beats warm water and a decent washing up liquid, used
with a plastic pot scourer.


*non-scratch* plastic pot scourer... And yes a spot of washing up
liquid on a non-scratch scourer is good for the outside and inside of
a windscreen.

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On Tue, 14 Jan 2020 16:44:03 +0000, alan_m wrote:

Often the problem is with machine car washes where the windscreen is
sprayed with wax as part of the final process.


Yep, guaranteed way to end up with an opaque smeary mess of traffic
film and dead insect when the wipers are used the first after a few
weeks of idleness in summer.

Screen wash additives tend to work better once this wax is removed from
the glass.


And shifting the wax can be a right PITA. Can't see the point in
washing a car, it'll only get dirty again. Not to mention stood out
in a gale with accompanying rain pressure washes it anyway.

Salt? Well maybe but the quantity fo water sprayed about underneath
from a pressure washer is nothing compared to the road spray from a
wet road...

--
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Dave.





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On Tue, 14 Jan 2020 16:12:00 +0000, alan_m wrote:

It still works very well for cleaning the inside of the glass on a

wood
burner (without the vinegar)


Try a slightly damp cloth (or slightly damp newspaper) dipped in the
wood ash. I didn't believe it would work when it was suggested to me -
until I tried it.


Or a slightly damp non-scratch scourer, spot of washing up liquid,
dipped in the white powder wood ash. I don't use this scourer on the
windscreen...

--
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Dave.



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"charles" wrote in message
...
In article ,
Sn!pe wrote:
Tim Watts wrote:


Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and
sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


I use a tiny amount of isopropanol on a microfibre cloth to
clean the haze from inside my car windows, it works a treat.
I think it would be wise to keep the isopropanol well away
from paintwork though.

isopropanol is usually abbreviated to IPA. An communication error could
lead to best bitter being used to clean a windscreen


IPA is an ale, not a bitter, stupid.

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"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
idual.net...
On Tue, 14 Jan 2020 16:44:03 +0000, alan_m wrote:

Often the problem is with machine car washes where the windscreen is
sprayed with wax as part of the final process.


Yep, guaranteed way to end up with an opaque smeary mess of traffic
film and dead insect when the wipers are used the first after a few
weeks of idleness in summer.

Screen wash additives tend to work better once this wax is removed from
the glass.


And shifting the wax can be a right PITA.


Can't see the point in washing a car, it'll only get dirty again.


Me neither. I do lend my car quite a bit and the
buggers almost always wash it. Dunno if they are
too ashamed to be seen in such a dirty car or
whether its their way of saying thank you.

Once when I had almost got bogged in a dirt road
and the car was even more filthy than usual, one of
the cops who pulled me over for a breath test as
they do here quite often just grinned and said it
must the be dirties car in the town.

Its bright yellow and lives under the big
trees outside so its filthy most of the time.

Not to mention stood out in a gale with
accompanying rain pressure washes it anyway.


Doesn't work very well here.

Salt? Well maybe but the quantity fo water sprayed about underneath
from a pressure washer is nothing compared to the road spray from a
wet road...



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On Tuesday, 14 January 2020 10:50:50 UTC, Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?
Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?


Windowlene.
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On Tuesday, 14 January 2020 18:29:29 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:

IPA is an ale, not a bitter, stupid.


Lets begin with its insistence that €śpale ale€ť and €śbitter€ť are different products, €¦ From the moment that bitter beers started to become popular in Britain, around the beginning of the 1840s, €śbitter beer€ť and €śpale ale€ť were used by brewers and commentators as synonyms. There never was any difference between the two. Why did €śpale ale€ť come to be appended as a name mostly to the bottled version of bitter? Because generally in the 19th century brewers called the drink in the brewery €śpale ale€ť, and thats the name they put on their bottle labels, but in the pub drinkers called this new drink €śbitter€ť, to differentiate it from the older, sweeter, but still (then) pale mild ales.


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On Tuesday, 14 January 2020 18:40:40 UTC, harry wrote:


Windowlene.


Windolene.
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polygonum_on_google wrote
Rod Speed wrote


IPA is an ale, not a bitter, stupid.


Lets begin with its insistence that €śpale ale€ť
and €śbitter€ť are different products, €¦


Corse they are, even if bitter is a contraction of bitter ale.

From the moment that bitter beers started to
become popular in Britain, around the beginning
of the 1840s, €śbitter beer€ť and €śpale ale€ť were
used by brewers and commentators as synonyms.


Irrelevant to the situation now.

There never was any difference between the two.


BULL****.

Why did €śpale ale€ť come to be appended as a
name mostly to the bottled version of bitter?


Thats bull**** too.

Because generally in the 19th century brewers
called the drink in the brewery €śpale ale€ť,


Thats not IPA, stupid.

and thats the name they put on their bottle labels,


Irrelevant to the situation now.

but in the pub drinkers called this new drink
€śbitter€ť, to differentiate it from the older,
sweeter, but still (then) pale mild ales.


Thats not IPA either.

Keep digging, you'll be out in china any day now.

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Default UNBELIEVABLE: It's 05:29 am in Australia and the Senile Ozzietard has been out of Bed and TROLLING since 01:35, ALL NIGHT LONG!!!! LOL

On Wed, 15 Jan 2020 05:29:19 +1100, cantankerous trolling geezer Rodent
Speed, the auto-contradicting senile sociopath, blabbered, again:

FLUSH senile troll****

05:29? Yet AGAIN? LMAO

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Default UNBELIEVABLE: It's 05:35 am in Australia and the Senile Ozzietard has been out of Bed and TROLLING since 01:35 ALL NIGHT LONG!!!! LOL

On Wed, 15 Jan 2020 05:35:02 +1100, cantankerous trolling geezer Rodent
Speed, the auto-contradicting senile sociopath, blabbered, again:

FLUSH senile troll****

05:35??? You clinically insane cretin from Oz really know NO shame AT ALL!
LOL

--
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and the end of prick is only clear because you are such a ******."
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On 14/01/2020 17:55, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Tue, 14 Jan 2020 16:44:03 +0000, alan_m wrote:

Often the problem is with machine car washes where the windscreen is
sprayed with wax as part of the final process.


Yep, guaranteed way to end up with an opaque smeary mess of traffic
film and dead insect when the wipers are used the first after a few
weeks of idleness in summer.

Screen wash additives tend to work better once this wax is removed from
the glass.


And shifting the wax can be a right PITA. Can't see the point in
washing a car, it'll only get dirty again. Not to mention stood out
in a gale with accompanying rain pressure washes it anyway.

Salt? Well maybe but the quantity fo water sprayed about underneath
from a pressure washer is nothing compared to the road spray from a
wet road...

assuming that the wet road has no saltt and is enough to clear
the mud


--
Canada is all right really, though not for the whole weekend.

"Saki"


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Default UNBELIEVABLE: It's 06:49 am in Australia and the Senile Ozzietard has been out of Bed and Trolling ALL NIGHT LONG, yet AGAIN!!!!! LOL

On Wed, 15 Jan 2020 06:49:27 +1100, cantankerous trolling geezer Rodent
Speed, the auto-contradicting senile sociopath, blabbered, again:

FLUSH the senile asshole's latest troll****

06:49??? LOL No sleep AT ALL for you tonight again, you abnormal trolling
senile pest? Serves you right, cretin!

--
"Anonymous" to trolling senile Rot Speed:
"You can **** off as you know less than pig **** you sad
little ignorant ****."
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djc djc is offline
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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

On 14/01/2020 10:50, Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton of
elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just as
well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and sticker
residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?



Can still by ammonia is some old-style hardware stores. Be careful using
it inside, it can ruin the silvering on the rear view mirror.



Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?



--
djc

(–€ĚżÄąĚŻ–€Ěż Ěż)
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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

On Tue, 14 Jan 2020 21:00:55 +0000, The Natural Philosopher wrote:

Can't see the point in washing a car, it'll only get dirty again.

Not
to mention stood out in a gale with accompanying rain pressure

washes
it anyway.

Salt? Well maybe but the quantity fo water sprayed about

underneath
from a pressure washer is nothing compared to the road spray from

a
wet road...


assuming that the wet road has no saltt ...


In which case there really is no point in washing the car.

... and is enough to clear the mud


If there is mud how does the salt get behind it?

If it can't and you remove the mud. Salt will be trapped behind any
new mud that collects.

If it is carried in by capillary action, salt free water will also be
carried in by capillary action.

Car's aren't the rust buckets they used to be. Not that long ago if a
5 year old car didn't have rust bubbles in the paintwork there was
something wrong with it.

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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

On 14/01/2020 22:32, DJC wrote:
On 14/01/2020 10:50, Tim Watts wrote:
Is there any available?

Nothing made for cars shifts the traffic film properly without a ton
of elbow grease at the dry-cloth stage (which would probably do just
as well without the useless glass cleaner spray in the first place).

And standard well know household sprays are not shifting oil and
sticker residue from my kitchen windows.


Does anyone still sell spray with ammonia in?



Can still by ammonia is some old-style hardware stores. Be careful using
it inside, it can ruin the silvering on the rear view mirror.


its in some supermarket glass cleaners - read the small print
windex is one
glassex is another

But many say that its not the best thing to use on windscreens


Or at least a solvent that actually dissolves stuff?





--
Of what good are dead warriors? €¦ Warriors are those who desire battle
more than peace. Those who seek battle despite peace. Those who thump
their spears on the ground and talk of honor. Those who leap high the
battle dance and dream of glory €¦ The good of dead warriors, Mother, is
that they are dead.
Sheri S Tepper: The Awakeners.
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Default Glass cleaner that actually works?

On 14/01/2020 23:06, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Tue, 14 Jan 2020 21:00:55 +0000, The Natural Philosopher wrote:

Can't see the point in washing a car, it'll only get dirty again.

Not
to mention stood out in a gale with accompanying rain pressure

washes
it anyway.

Salt? Well maybe but the quantity fo water sprayed about

underneath
from a pressure washer is nothing compared to the road spray from

a
wet road...


assuming that the wet road has no saltt ...


In which case there really is no point in washing the car.

... and is enough to clear the mud


If there is mud how does the salt get behind it?


mud is not waterproof.
I think they are putting something in the water. I have never heard so
many stupid things as lately


If it can't and you remove the mud. Salt will be trapped behind any
new mud that collects.

If it is carried in by capillary action, salt free water will also be
carried in by capillary action.

Car's aren't the rust buckets they used to be. Not that long ago if a
5 year old car didn't have rust bubbles in the paintwork there was
something wrong with it.

jesus wept

--
"The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll
look exactly the same afterwards."

Billy Connolly
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