Me: Have you got any four by four posts, but long ones, maybe three and
a half metres?
Girl in timber yard office (who has been needlessly obstructive on
several previous occasions): No.
Me: What's the longest you've got?
Girl: We might have some ten foot. Not sure. Might only have eight foot.
Me: Well can you cut me some longer ones?
Girl: How can we make long ones from short ones?
Me: I thought you could maybe start with a tree.
Girl: Oh funny guy eh?
Me: Only when provoked.
Girl: Could you get me some longer ones if I order them?
Girl: Oh no we don't do that.
Me: Oh well, OK then. Thanks for your help anyway.
Girl: I'll go and have a look.
[a few seconds later, sounding disappointed]: Oh, there's some three
point six. Just come in.
Excellent. I'll see you shortly.

Bill