http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...-and-rope.html

On 10/02/2015 00:38, Adam Aglionby wrote:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...-and-rope.html


B&Q could buy several copies of the book they plan to circulate in any
charity book shop, saving themselves money and helping charities at the
same time. It is almost as common as second hand copies of the Da Vinci
Code.

--
Colin Bignell

On Mon, 09 Feb 2015 16:38:22 -0800, Adam Aglionby wrote:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...1400246/BandQ-
sends-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-memo-warning-staff-to-expect-soar-in-demand-
for-cable-ties-and-rope.html

Anyone read "Fifty Sheds of Grey"?



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wish to copy them they can pay me £30a message.
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"Bob Eager" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 09 Feb 2015 16:38:22 -0800, Adam Aglionby wrote:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...1400246/BandQ-
sends-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-memo-warning-staff-to-expect-soar-in-demand-
for-cable-ties-and-rope.html

Anyone read "Fifty Sheds of Grey"?

Nope.

In message , Adam
Aglionby writes
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...400246/BandQ-s
ends-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-memo-warning-staff-to-expect-soar-in-demand-fo
r-cable-ties-and-rope.html
Should make for some unusual excuses in A&E
--
Nick (=----)

"Bob Eager" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 09 Feb 2015 16:38:22 -0800, Adam Aglionby wrote:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...1400246/BandQ-
sends-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-memo-warning-staff-to-expect-soar-in-demand-
for-cable-ties-and-rope.html

Anyone read "Fifty Sheds of Grey"?

Couldn't be arsed.

"Adam Aglionby" wrote in message
...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...-and-rope.html


Well, if they're on he ball, they'll sell them some cable snips as well to
get them of afterward.
Maybe strawberry flavoured?

I expect there'll be a big rush to A&E with people with slit wrists/whatever
trying to cut them off with kitchen knives.

Have not cable ties got rather sharp edges for such uses?

Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"Adam Aglionby" wrote in message
...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...-and-rope.html

In message , Brian Gaff
writes
Have not cable ties got rather sharp edges for such uses?


Maybe that is part of the point......

Though I was wondering what sort of questions some one might wander up
to a member of staff in B&Q and ask? Maybe Wickes could do one of their
leaflets?
--
Chris French

On 10/02/2015 01:11, Bob Eager wrote:
On Mon, 09 Feb 2015 16:38:22 -0800, Adam Aglionby wrote:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...1400246/BandQ-
sends-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-memo-warning-staff-to-expect-soar-in-demand-
for-cable-ties-and-rope.html

Anyone read "Fifty Sheds of Grey"?



I have - brilliantly funny!


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

There are already companies cashing in though. an advert on a freeview
channel after 10pm a couple of nights ago has a 50 shades gift pack. It t
was an online sex toy shop, but one wonders about the way the items were
sourced.
I see a lot of strange injuries presenting at a/e in the next few months,,
The staff could do with a good laught I reckon.
Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"Chris French" wrote in message
...
In message , Brian Gaff
writes
Have not cable ties got rather sharp edges for such uses?


Maybe that is part of the point......

Though I was wondering what sort of questions some one might wander up to
a member of staff in B&Q and ask? Maybe Wickes could do one of their
leaflets?
--
Chris French

On 10/02/2015 07:17, Brian Gaff wrote:
Have not cable ties got rather sharp edges for such uses?


A new line for B&Q - fluffy pink over sleeves for cable ties.

--
Colin Bignell

On 10/02/2015 05:17, Nick wrote:
In message , Adam
Aglionby writes
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...400246/BandQ-s
ends-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-memo-warning-staff-to-expect-soar-in-demand-fo
r-cable-ties-and-rope.html
Should make for some unusual excuses in A&E

I heard it was written by a woman in this century, so that rules it out
on two counts

"Brian Gaff" wrote in message
...
There are already companies cashing in though. an advert on a freeview
channel after 10pm a couple of nights ago has a 50 shades gift pack. It t
was an online sex toy shop, but one wonders about the way the items were
sourced.
I see a lot of strange injuries presenting at a/e in the next few months,,

The staff could do with a good laught I reckon.

They've already had plenty of those. Watch the Bizarre ER series sometime.


"Chris French" wrote in message
...
In message , Brian Gaff
writes
Have not cable ties got rather sharp edges for such uses?


Maybe that is part of the point......

Though I was wondering what sort of questions some one might wander up to
a member of staff in B&Q and ask? Maybe Wickes could do one of their
leaflets?
--
Chris French

On 10/02/2015 07:17, Brian Gaff wrote:
Have not cable ties got rather sharp edges for such uses?

Brian


You can always sell them short lengths of hose to go with them.

On 10/02/2015 08:54, Brian Gaff wrote:

I see a lot of strange injuries presenting at a/e in the next few months,,
The staff could do with a good laught I reckon.

By all accounts they get a good few anyway. They apparently also have a
manual of standard techniques for extracting things from places they
ought not be!




--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

On 10/02/2015 07:06, harryagain wrote:

snip !

Well, if they're on the ball, they'll sell them some cable snips as well to
get them off afterward.

I'm afraid that is beyond my imagination. I mean how?...

Cheers
--
Syd

In message , John
Rumm writes
On 10/02/2015 08:54, Brian Gaff wrote:

I see a lot of strange injuries presenting at a/e in the next few months,,
The staff could do with a good laught I reckon.

By all accounts they get a good few anyway. They apparently also have a
manual of standard techniques for extracting things from places they
ought not be!

Indeed, my wife is hospital consultant, don't hear so many tales now as
A&E isn't her area. But when they were all more junior doctors I heard
quite a few.

I think basically, if you imagine something being put somewhere (and
sometimes things you can't imagine), they've seen it......
--
Chris French

On 10/02/2015 10:09, Chris French wrote:
In message , John
Rumm writes
On 10/02/2015 08:54, Brian Gaff wrote:

I see a lot of strange injuries presenting at a/e in the next few
months,,
The staff could do with a good laught I reckon.

By all accounts they get a good few anyway. They apparently also have
a manual of standard techniques for extracting things from places they
ought not be!

Indeed, my wife is hospital consultant, don't hear so many tales now as
A&E isn't her area. But when they were all more junior doctors I heard
quite a few.

I think basically, if you imagine something being put somewhere (and
sometimes things you can't imagine), they've seen it......

A mate of mine returned from an A&E conference (he was running the AV
systems for the event) with some tales... One that sticks in the mind
(and by the sounds of it elsewhere!) was how to get a pint glass out of
a rectum (length of rope with a knot in the end, and plaster as used for
casts etc)

--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

On Tue, 10 Feb 2015 11:06:21 +0000, John Rumm
wrote:


A mate of mine returned from an A&E conference (he was running the AV
systems for the event) with some tales... One that sticks in the mind
(and by the sounds of it elsewhere!) was how to get a pint glass out of
a rectum (length of rope with a knot in the end,

Jug or Sleeve ?


G.Harman

On Tuesday, 10 February 2015 07:17:57 UTC, Brian Gaff wrote:
Have not cable ties got rather sharp edges for such uses?


I seem to remember reading somewhere that silk is the only material that can be used to tie people up without causing bruising.


Owain

On Tuesday, 10 February 2015 08:55:20 UTC, harry wrote:
"Adam Aglionby" wrote in message
...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...-and-rope.html


Well, if they're on he ball, they'll sell them some cable snips as well to
get them of afterward.
Maybe strawberry flavoured?

I expect there'll be a big rush to A&E with people with slit wrists/whatever
trying to cut them off with kitchen knives.

Some of us are more sensible and buy the releasable cable ties.
Some people just don't have a clue.

On 10/02/15 14:03, whisky-dave wrote:
On Tuesday, 10 February 2015 08:55:20 UTC, harry wrote:
"Adam Aglionby" wrote in message
...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...-and-rope.html


Well, if they're on he ball, they'll sell them some cable snips as well to
get them of afterward.
Maybe strawberry flavoured?

I expect there'll be a big rush to A&E with people with slit wrists/whatever
trying to cut them off with kitchen knives.

Some of us are more sensible and buy the releasable cable ties.
Some people just don't have a clue.


What was that Dr Who in Tom Baker where the Dr and IIRC Romana (maybe
Leela) were tied up with vines which would shrink as they drived and
stretch them (people not the vines)?

The Dr sang out a high note (which caused Romana/whoever to tell him off
as it didn't hurt that much so soon). However what he did was cause a
glass skylight to break letting in rain onto the vines which then went
soggy and slack.

On 10/02/2015 07:17, Brian Gaff wrote:
Have not cable ties got rather sharp edges for such uses?

Brian


B&Q now sell fur covered cable ties.

--
mailto: news {at} admac {dot] myzen {dot} co {dot} uk

On 10/02/2015 11:17, wrote:
On Tue, 10 Feb 2015 11:06:21 +0000, John Rumm
wrote:


A mate of mine returned from an A&E conference (he was running the AV
systems for the event) with some tales... One that sticks in the mind
(and by the sounds of it elsewhere!) was how to get a pint glass out of
a rectum (length of rope with a knot in the end,

Jug or Sleeve ?

Sleeve / straight glass I assume - I expect the handle on the jug might
make getting it inserted in the first place!

(any glass shape that has a point where it narrows toward the exit (e.g.
just after the bulge on a straight glass) will hold plaster and hence
the rope captive.


--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

On 11/02/2015 02:56, John Rumm wrote:
On 10/02/2015 11:17, wrote:
On Tue, 10 Feb 2015 11:06:21 +0000, John Rumm
wrote:


A mate of mine returned from an A&E conference (he was running the AV
systems for the event) with some tales... One that sticks in the mind
(and by the sounds of it elsewhere!) was how to get a pint glass out of
a rectum (length of rope with a knot in the end,

Jug or Sleeve ?

Sleeve / straight glass I assume - I expect the handle on the jug might
make getting it inserted in the first place!

(any glass shape that has a point where it narrows toward the exit (e.g.
just after the bulge on a straight glass) will hold plaster and hence
the rope captive.



That thickness of plaster would get quite hot as it sets!

On Wed, 11 Feb 2015 09:23:48 +0000, Dennis@home wrote:

On 11/02/2015 02:56, John Rumm wrote:
On 10/02/2015 11:17, wrote:
On Tue, 10 Feb 2015 11:06:21 +0000, John Rumm
wrote:


A mate of mine returned from an A&E conference (he was running the AV
systems for the event) with some tales... One that sticks in the mind
(and by the sounds of it elsewhere!) was how to get a pint glass out
of a rectum (length of rope with a knot in the end,

Jug or Sleeve ?

Sleeve / straight glass I assume - I expect the handle on the jug might
make getting it inserted in the first place!

(any glass shape that has a point where it narrows toward the exit
(e.g.
just after the bulge on a straight glass) will hold plaster and hence
the rope captive.



That thickness of plaster would get quite hot as it sets!

As the Beatles once said: "Happiness is a warm bum".

Or something.

--
My posts are my copyright and if @diy_forums or Home Owners' Hub
wish to copy them they can pay me £30a message.
Use the BIG mirror service in the UK: http://www.mirrorservice.org
*lightning surge protection* - a w_tom conductor

On 11/02/15 09:33, Bob Eager wrote:
On Wed, 11 Feb 2015 09:23:48 +0000, Dennis@home wrote:

On 11/02/2015 02:56, John Rumm wrote:
On 10/02/2015 11:17, wrote:
On Tue, 10 Feb 2015 11:06:21 +0000, John Rumm
wrote:


A mate of mine returned from an A&E conference (he was running the AV
systems for the event) with some tales... One that sticks in the mind
(and by the sounds of it elsewhere!) was how to get a pint glass out
of a rectum (length of rope with a knot in the end,

Jug or Sleeve ?

Sleeve / straight glass I assume - I expect the handle on the jug might
make getting it inserted in the first place!

(any glass shape that has a point where it narrows toward the exit
(e.g.
just after the bulge on a straight glass) will hold plaster and hence
the rope captive.



That thickness of plaster would get quite hot as it sets!

As the Beatles once said: "Happiness is a warm bum".


I think they got that from somewhere else.

Gay Gunners of Georgia or something.

Or something.



--
Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for the
rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge. €“ Erwin Knoll

On 11/02/2015 09:23, Dennis@home wrote:
On 11/02/2015 02:56, John Rumm wrote:
On 10/02/2015 11:17, wrote:
On Tue, 10 Feb 2015 11:06:21 +0000, John Rumm
wrote:


A mate of mine returned from an A&E conference (he was running the AV
systems for the event) with some tales... One that sticks in the mind
(and by the sounds of it elsewhere!) was how to get a pint glass out of
a rectum (length of rope with a knot in the end,

Jug or Sleeve ?

Sleeve / straight glass I assume - I expect the handle on the jug might
make getting it inserted in the first place!

(any glass shape that has a point where it narrows toward the exit (e.g.
just after the bulge on a straight glass) will hold plaster and hence
the rope captive.



That thickness of plaster would get quite hot as it sets!

That ought to teach em ;-)

(I presume the stuff they use for plaster casts is not just "normal"
plaster of paris? Since that is very exothermic in significant quantities)

--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

On Wed, 11 Feb 2015 09:37:39 +0000, The Natural Philosopher wrote:

On 11/02/15 09:33, Bob Eager wrote:
On Wed, 11 Feb 2015 09:23:48 +0000, Dennis@home wrote:

On 11/02/2015 02:56, John Rumm wrote:
On 10/02/2015 11:17, wrote:
On Tue, 10 Feb 2015 11:06:21 +0000, John Rumm
wrote:


A mate of mine returned from an A&E conference (he was running the
AV systems for the event) with some tales... One that sticks in the
mind (and by the sounds of it elsewhere!) was how to get a pint
glass out of a rectum (length of rope with a knot in the end,

Jug or Sleeve ?

Sleeve / straight glass I assume - I expect the handle on the jug
might make getting it inserted in the first place!

(any glass shape that has a point where it narrows toward the exit
(e.g.
just after the bulge on a straight glass) will hold plaster and hence
the rope captive.



That thickness of plaster would get quite hot as it sets!

As the Beatles once said: "Happiness is a warm bum".


I think they got that from somewhere else.

They did. And they said so.


--
My posts are my copyright and if @diy_forums or Home Owners' Hub
wish to copy them they can pay me £30a message.
Use the BIG mirror service in the UK: http://www.mirrorservice.org
*lightning surge protection* - a w_tom conductor

On Wednesday, 11 February 2015 09:58:35 UTC, Huge wrote:
Not safe for work, or those of a delicate nature.

Having read the description, I'm not pressing play.

Owain

On 11/02/2015 09:52, John Rumm wrote:
On 11/02/2015 09:23, Dennis@home wrote:
On 11/02/2015 02:56, John Rumm wrote:
On 10/02/2015 11:17, wrote:
On Tue, 10 Feb 2015 11:06:21 +0000, John Rumm
wrote:


A mate of mine returned from an A&E conference (he was running the AV
systems for the event) with some tales... One that sticks in the mind
(and by the sounds of it elsewhere!) was how to get a pint glass
out of
a rectum (length of rope with a knot in the end,

Jug or Sleeve ?

Sleeve / straight glass I assume - I expect the handle on the jug might
make getting it inserted in the first place!

(any glass shape that has a point where it narrows toward the exit (e.g.
just after the bulge on a straight glass) will hold plaster and hence
the rope captive.



That thickness of plaster would get quite hot as it sets!

That ought to teach em ;-)

(I presume the stuff they use for plaster casts is not just "normal"
plaster of paris? Since that is very exothermic in significant quantities)


It always used to be Plaster of Paris impregnated bandages, which were
great for modelling landscape on a model railway; just dip in water and
drape over crumpled newspaper. IIRC, for plaster casts there was a layer
of plain gauze and / or cotton wool applied first. These days the
bandage seems to be resin impregnated.

--
Colin Bignell

On 11/02/2015 11:54, wrote:
On Wednesday, 11 February 2015 09:58:35 UTC, Huge wrote:
Not safe for work, or those of a delicate nature.

Having read the description, I'm not pressing play.

Owain


I suspect that is a good move, I didn't press play either.

On 11/02/15 13:46, Dennis@home wrote:
On 11/02/2015 11:54, wrote:
On Wednesday, 11 February 2015 09:58:35 UTC, Huge wrote:
Not safe for work, or those of a delicate nature.

Having read the description, I'm not pressing play.

Owain


I suspect that is a good move, I didn't press play either.

I did and really, I'd rather I hadn't.


--
Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for the
rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge. €“ Erwin Knoll