I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written. The reason is,
they are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer freaks. I reckon you
people on the DIY group, horny handed practical guys with your feet
firmly on the ground and lifetimes of real-life experience, will find my
poem good. Here it is.


Salvation

A mile from a convent lived an ex-priest
Defrocked for lascivious crimes, the beast.

Wishing to bring salvation, two nuns
On their bikes took tracts and chocolate buns.

“To feed his body and soul alike,”
Each thought, as she pedalled her old black bike.

But it didn’t quite go the way they had thunk,
And both pedalled home full of unholy spunk.

Amen

Bill

On Tue, 11 Nov 2014 02:19:20 +0000, Bill Wright wrote:

I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written.

Uh-huh.

The reason is, they are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer
freaks.

Yes, Bill. That's the reason. Definitely.

On Tue, 11 Nov 2014 08:18:24 +0000 (UTC), Adrian
wrote:

On Tue, 11 Nov 2014 02:19:20 +0000, Bill Wright wrote:

I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written.

Uh-huh.

The reason is, they are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer
freaks.

Yes, Bill. That's the reason. Definitely.

Psst isn't _anyone_ going to tell him? (and don't volunteer me - just
askin' like).
--
J B Good

Bill, have you considered that one can see the punch line coming a mile off,
and its very similar to a lot of jokes containing members of the clergy.
When I were a lad we had lots of jukes at the expense of bits of religious
teaching etc.
The only one I can remember is the one where a young child comes home and
asks his parents what is God called. They of course reply that although
Jesus was the son of god God himself was just god.
After a short pause, the child said, no you are wrong, they told us today
that he was called Harold, and flounced off into their bedroom to play the
radio.

Later on his mother went in and asked, so dear, how do you know God's name
is Harold?
Its in a prayer he said.
Our Father who art in heaven... he paused and said, we were told this was
not daddy, but all humans daddy, God, and then it goes on Harold be thy
name....


Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...
I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written. The reason is, they
are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer freaks. I reckon you people
on the DIY group, horny handed practical guys with your feet firmly on the
ground and lifetimes of real-life experience, will find my poem good. Here
it is.


Salvation

A mile from a convent lived an ex-priest
Defrocked for lascivious crimes, the beast.

Wishing to bring salvation, two nuns
On their bikes took tracts and chocolate buns.

“To feed his body and soul alike,”
Each thought, as she pedalled her old black bike.

But it didn’t quite go the way they had thunk,
And both pedalled home full of unholy spunk.

Amen

Bill

"Brian Gaff" wrote in message
...
Bill, have you considered that one can see the punch line coming a mile
off, and its very similar to a lot of jokes containing members of the
clergy.
When I were a lad we had lots of jukes at the expense of bits of religious
teaching etc.
The only one I can remember is the one where a young child comes home and
asks his parents what is God called. They of course reply that although
Jesus was the son of god God himself was just god.
After a short pause, the child said, no you are wrong, they told us today
that he was called Harold, and flounced off into their bedroom to play
the radio.

Later on his mother went in and asked, so dear, how do you know God's
name is Harold?
Its in a prayer he said.
Our Father who art in heaven... he paused and said, we were told this was
not daddy, but all humans daddy, God, and then it goes on Harold be thy
name....

My ancient, what used to be called a maiden aunt, obviously
my father's older sister, always maintained that she thought
that it was Gladly, my crossed eye'd bear, for quite a while.


"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...
I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written. The reason is,
they are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer freaks. I reckon you
people on the DIY group, horny handed practical guys with your feet firmly
on the ground and lifetimes of real-life experience, will find my poem
good. Here it is.


Salvation

A mile from a convent lived an ex-priest
Defrocked for lascivious crimes, the beast.

Wishing to bring salvation, two nuns
On their bikes took tracts and chocolate buns.

“To feed his body and soul alike,”
Each thought, as she pedalled her old black bike.

But it didn’t quite go the way they had thunk,
And both pedalled home full of unholy spunk.

Amen

Bill

Yes in my joke I oft wondered who Art was.
Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
"Rod Speed" wrote in message
...


"Brian Gaff" wrote in message
...
Bill, have you considered that one can see the punch line coming a mile
off, and its very similar to a lot of jokes containing members of the
clergy.
When I were a lad we had lots of jukes at the expense of bits of
religious teaching etc.
The only one I can remember is the one where a young child comes home
and asks his parents what is God called. They of course reply that
although Jesus was the son of god God himself was just god.
After a short pause, the child said, no you are wrong, they told us
today that he was called Harold, and flounced off into their bedroom to
play the radio.

Later on his mother went in and asked, so dear, how do you know God's
name is Harold?
Its in a prayer he said.
Our Father who art in heaven... he paused and said, we were told this
was not daddy, but all humans daddy, God, and then it goes on Harold be
thy name....

My ancient, what used to be called a maiden aunt, obviously
my father's older sister, always maintained that she thought
that it was Gladly, my crossed eye'd bear, for quite a while.


"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...
I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written. The reason is,
they are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer freaks. I reckon you
people on the DIY group, horny handed practical guys with your feet
firmly on the ground and lifetimes of real-life experience, will find my
poem good. Here it is.


Salvation

A mile from a convent lived an ex-priest
Defrocked for lascivious crimes, the beast.

Wishing to bring salvation, two nuns
On their bikes took tracts and chocolate buns.

“To feed his body and soul alike,”
Each thought, as she pedalled her old black bike.

But it didn’t quite go the way they had thunk,
And both pedalled home full of unholy spunk.

Amen

Bill

On Tuesday, November 11, 2014 2:19:38 AM UTC, Bill Wright wrote:
I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written.

But you're not a poet or a political commentator, Bill.

You're at your best as an essayist, especially when writing about cable specifications and old people's homes.

Owain

On 11/11/2014 02:19, Bill Wright wrote:
I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written. The reason is,
they are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer freaks. I reckon you
people on the DIY group, horny handed practical guys with your feet
firmly on the ground and lifetimes of real-life experience, will find my
poem good. Here it is.

It is only mildly funny even to pre-pubescent schoolboys. Stick to your
essays that have wide appeal.

--
Peter Crosland

Reply address is valid

On 11/11/2014 02:19, Bill Wright wrote:

I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written. The reason is,
they are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer freaks. I reckon you

Ah that could be the problem... I am a techy nerd *and* and computer
freak, who just happens to DIY ;-)

people on the DIY group, horny handed practical guys with your feet
firmly on the ground and lifetimes of real-life experience, will find my
poem good. Here it is.


Salvation

A mile from a convent lived an ex-priest
Defrocked for lascivious crimes, the beast.

Wishing to bring salvation, two nuns
On their bikes took tracts and chocolate buns.

“To feed his body and soul alike,”
Each thought, as she pedalled her old black bike.

But it didn’t quite go the way they had thunk,
And both pedalled home full of unholy spunk.

Amen

As nun jokes go, its not as good as the pair driving through
Transylvania in a Morris minor on a spooky cold and rainy night. A large
bat hits the screen and sticks there. They stop and stare at it. It
smiles revealing fangs dripping blood. The nuns scream, and one exclaims
"its a vampire bat". The other says "Don't panic, keep calm, we can
scare the evil thing away... quick; show it your cross!"

fx other nun winds down window, and leans out

"Hey bat, get off the frigging screen!"




--
Cheers,

John.

/================================================== ===============\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\================================================= ================/

On 11/11/14 14:24, John Rumm wrote:
On 11/11/2014 02:19, Bill Wright wrote:

I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written. The reason is,
they are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer freaks. I reckon you

Ah that could be the problem... I am a techy nerd *and* and computer
freak, who just happens to DIY ;-)

people on the DIY group, horny handed practical guys with your feet
firmly on the ground and lifetimes of real-life experience, will find my
poem good. Here it is.


Salvation

A mile from a convent lived an ex-priest
Defrocked for lascivious crimes, the beast.

Wishing to bring salvation, two nuns
On their bikes took tracts and chocolate buns.

€œTo feed his body and soul alike,€�
Each thought, as she pedalled her old black bike.

But it didnt quite go the way they had thunk,
And both pedalled home full of unholy spunk.

Amen

As nun jokes go, its not as good as the pair driving through
Transylvania in a Morris minor on a spooky cold and rainy night. A large
bat hits the screen and sticks there. They stop and stare at it. It
smiles revealing fangs dripping blood. The nuns scream, and one exclaims
"its a vampire bat". The other says "Don't panic, keep calm, we can
scare the evil thing away... quick; show it your cross!"

fx other nun winds down window, and leans out

"Hey bat, get off the frigging screen!"


Two nuns take a shortcut through the woods to the market, and get set
upon and raped by a pair of lusty monks.

"Whatever can we do: what will we tell the Mother Superior?!"
"Just tell her we were raped twice"
"Twice?"
"We *are* going back through the woods, aren't we?"





--
Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for the
rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge. €“ Erwin Knoll

On 11/11/2014 14:38, The Natural Philosopher wrote:



Two nuns take a shortcut through the woods to the market, and get set
upon and raped by a pair of lusty monks.

"Whatever can we do: what will we tell the Mother Superior?!"
"Just tell her we were raped twice"
"Twice?"
"We *are* going back through the woods, aren't we?"


Or the nun who was up in front of the Mother superior for getting pregnant.

"Who is the father?" she was asked.

"St. Michael" she replied

"How do you know it was St. Michael?"

"There was label with his name on in the back of his underpants"

I'll get my coat!
--
Cheers,
Roger
____________
Please reply to Newsgroup. Whilst email address is valid, it is seldom
checked.

"John Rumm" wrote in message
o.uk...
On 11/11/2014 02:19, Bill Wright wrote:

I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written. The reason is,
they are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer freaks. I reckon you

Ah that could be the problem... I am a techy nerd *and* and computer
freak, who just happens to DIY ;-)

people on the DIY group, horny handed practical guys with your feet
firmly on the ground and lifetimes of real-life experience, will find my
poem good. Here it is.


Salvation

A mile from a convent lived an ex-priest
Defrocked for lascivious crimes, the beast.

Wishing to bring salvation, two nuns
On their bikes took tracts and chocolate buns.

“To feed his body and soul alike,”
Each thought, as she pedalled her old black bike.

But it didn’t quite go the way they had thunk,
And both pedalled home full of unholy spunk.

Amen

As nun jokes go, its not as good as the pair driving through Transylvania
in a Morris minor on a spooky cold and rainy night. A large bat hits the
screen and sticks there. They stop and stare at it. It smiles revealing
fangs dripping blood. The nuns scream, and one exclaims "its a vampire
bat". The other says "Don't panic, keep calm, we can scare the evil thing
away... quick; show it your cross!"

fx other nun winds down window, and leans out

"Hey bat, get off the frigging screen!"


I prefer the one about the Pope.

Saying his evening prayers one night, God appears to him and says, 'I can
give you world peace, and everything else you pray for, but you have to do
one thing for me - you have to have unbridled sex with a woman'
The pope thinks about for a long time, then says to god, 'Although it is
against every fibre of my being, I will do as you ask, but i must ask that
you make her dumb, so that she can never speak about our liason'
God says, 'that will be no problem'
The Pope replies, 'Also, can you make sure she's blind, so that she can
never know the identity of the one who violated her?'
Again, god answers 'Yes'
The Pope then says, 'And can you make sure she's got big tits?'

On Tue, 11 Nov 2014 02:19:20 +0000, Bill Wright
wrote:

I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written. The reason is,
they are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer freaks. I reckon you
people on the DIY group, horny handed practical guys with your feet
firmly on the ground and lifetimes of real-life experience, will find my
poem good. Here it is.


Salvation

A mile from a convent lived an ex-priest
Defrocked for lascivious crimes, the beast.

Wishing to bring salvation, two nuns
On their bikes took tracts and chocolate buns.

“To feed his body and soul alike,”
Each thought, as she pedalled her old black bike.

But it didn’t quite go the way they had thunk,
And both pedalled home full of unholy spunk.

Amen

Bill

No nuns around our way!good one Bill.
Mick.

On Tue, 11 Nov 2014 16:54:54 +0000, Mick IOW
wrote:

On Tue, 11 Nov 2014 02:19:20 +0000, Bill Wright
wrote:

I put my latest comic poem on there and no-one laughed, despite the fact
that it is quite the funniest poem I have ever written. The reason is,
they are all techy nerds, almost as bad as computer freaks. I reckon you
people on the DIY group, horny handed practical guys with your feet
firmly on the ground and lifetimes of real-life experience, will find my
poem good. Here it is.


Salvation

A mile from a convent lived an ex-priest
Defrocked for lascivious crimes, the beast.

Wishing to bring salvation, two nuns
On their bikes took tracts and chocolate buns.

“To feed his body and soul alike,”
Each thought, as she pedalled her old black bike.

But it didn’t quite go the way they had thunk,
And both pedalled home full of unholy spunk.

Amen

Bill

No nuns around our way!good one Bill.
Mick.

That reminds me of the scene in episode 1 of THGTTG just before
Arthur and Ford are ejected into the vacuum of interstellar space. :-)
--
J B Good